Had a rather frightening experience yesterday.

[Audiohealing]

Hey guys,

 

Like the title says, I had an experience yesterday that has left me a bit shaken.

 

I was practicing ejaculating up the spine, as I usually do during intercourse, and this time I actually succeeded in doing it.

 

Usually, the energy got stuck somewhere up along the spine and felt a bit unnatural- I never got any huge results from it.

 

But last night, I channeled it a bit different, more to the anterior side of the spine, and the energy shot straight up very smoothly, unimpeded, and left me in a state of indescribable bliss for about 1.5 hours.

 

After 1.5 hours, as I was lying in my bed contemplating my newfound state of being, I gradually started feeling crappy all of a sudden, like, *really* crappy.

 

I started feeling a very intense feeling of fear, dread, and sadness, similar to when I was extremely depressed a few years ago. I also started feeling an aching, burning feeling at the bottom of my spine in my coccyx.

 

The best analogy I can give you, for those who have tried MDMA, is I experienced an ultra rapid high, followed by an awful "hangover".

 

I started freaking out, got up, sat in lotus and tried to rectify this thing ASAP. I also noticed that I could no longer get a boner (please don't ask why I felt it was important to test this) and felt zero sexual desire.

 

I started doing some deep breathing, and calmed myself down, and did the 5 tibetan rites as well as a nice, long qigong session (SFQ), which upon completion, left me feeling totally fine.

 

So, what the heck happened there, and what can I do to make sure this never happens again? I kid you not when I say that it scared the shit out of me.

[ragamor]

One extreme leads to another, like a pendulum; ungrounded bliss turns into dread.

[GrandmasterP]

QiGong's your best bet as it worked yesterday.

carry on in good health but ground and settle via QiGong immediately after the more ambitious stuff.

:-)

[三江源]

similar to when I was extremely depressed a few years ago.

 

your stuff, surfacing. purification.

[Aetherous]

Ejaculating up the spine is not a good thing to try to do. The process of sexual sublimation will take place naturally with spiritual practices.

[Thunder_Gooch]

[Isimsiz Biri]

You are playing an extremely dangerous game. Do you have a real master from a real lineage not a self made or half master, a real one guiding you? Be careful, if anything goes wrong western medicine will not help at all.

[寒月 Hanyue]

Hey guys,

 

Like the title says, I had an experience yesterday that has left me a bit shaken.

 

I was practicing ejaculating up the spine, as I usually do during intercourse, and this time I actually succeeded in doing it.

 

Usually, the energy got stuck somewhere up along the spine and felt a bit unnatural- I never got any huge results from it.

 

But last night, I channeled it a bit different, more to the anterior side of the spine, and the energy shot straight up very smoothly, unimpeded, and left me in a state of indescribable bliss for about 1.5 hours.

 

After 1.5 hours, as I was lying in my bed contemplating my newfound state of being, I gradually started feeling crappy all of a sudden, like, *really* crappy.

 

I started feeling a very intense feeling of fear, dread, and sadness, similar to when I was extremely depressed a few years ago. I also started feeling an aching, burning feeling at the bottom of my spine in my coccyx.

 

The best analogy I can give you, for those who have tried MDMA, is I experienced an ultra rapid high, followed by an awful "hangover".

 

I started freaking out, got up, sat in lotus and tried to rectify this thing ASAP. I also noticed that I could no longer get a boner (please don't ask why I felt it was important to test this) and felt zero sexual desire.

 

I started doing some deep breathing, and calmed myself down, and did the 5 tibetan rites as well as a nice, long qigong session (SFQ), which upon completion, left me feeling totally fine.

 

So, what the heck happened there, and what can I do to make sure this never happens again? I kid you not when I say that it scared the shit out of me.

 

I second those saying don't play around with such things without a teacher.

 

What did you do?

 

You sublimated your sexual energy into your brain, released loads of chemicals you don't usually experience (bliss), and then had a come down as that release of chemicals dissipated in your system.

 

No sexual charge is common, it can either become strong or simply drop away leaving no libido. Now you know the real secret to 100 days or complete celibacy. It isn't always permanent but can be.

 

There is a reason Doc Morris taught the secret smile and similar practices. It helps smooth out the process of chemical dumps in the body so when you do release stuff through practice you can avoid a backlash come down.

 

Be careful, depending on how many chemicals are dumped the bliss can easily become negative, and bi-polar symptoms and or depression can arise.

 

My advice, contact a teacher who KNOWS the process and can guide you to avoid "screwing yourself" as Doc might say, pun intended.

 

Best,

[Seth Ananda]

be wary that if you continue like that, K may rise. I personally consider that a good thing, but you may not... If you don't have access to a teacher... well, its on you.

[Audiohealing]

Hey guys,

 

Unfortunately, my depression symptoms have returned today, and I am kind of freaking out. I am under a tremendous load of stress on top of everything, so it is extremely hard to deal with at the moment.

 

To make things worse, I actually do have bipolar disorder and am feeling myself on the brink of another depressive episode, but I could be wrong. ( havent had one in 2 years )

 

I literally feel like my heart center has gone from a radiating sun to a black hole overnight.

 

How could I be so fucking stupid?

 

Does anyone have any suggestions as to what my best course of action is? I don't know any masters in my area or anything.

 

Things had been going so well for a long time now that I felt it was safe to experiment. Please spare me the lessons in stupidity. I assume full responsibility for my actions.

 

Thanks.

[Audiohealing]

I'm going to do another round of SFQ active exercises (since that what helped me yesterday), and try to get some physical exercise.

 

Yes, I am totally scrambling to find a solution here. Knowing my body and past episodes, If I don't take action now, I know I have about a week tops before shit hits the fan.

[Aetherous]

I literally feel like my heart center has gone from a radiating sun to a black hole overnight.

 

Time off from practice will help...bad situations tend to make us assume that we will be stuck in that spot forever, and we have to do drastic things to escape...that is not the case. This too shall pass!

 

Watch some comedies and find the humor again. (I suggest 21 Jump Street, but preferences differ)

 

Exercise is a great idea.

 

Breathing gently may help.

 

edit to add: this is a good lesson in contentment versus peak experience. You had a peak, and then the body dropped down below normal afterward to bring balance. If you're content with whatever your situation is, you will be more balanced. Peace and contentment is the true joy...excessive joy is harmful.

Edited November 5, 2012 by turtle shell

[XieJia]

I am no expert here;

 

my suggestion is energy purifications;

and then perhaps contemplations through to the fear.

 

Sometimes, it is shorter just to face it head on.

 

Do you know the reason why you feel so? and what are you trying to avoid.

 

All the best,

[Birch]

Good point Scotty! I'd like to add that the idea that one can be in continuous bliss is, well, just an idea. IME feeling that it's ok to feel how I do (even if that's crappy) has been a big step forward for me. On a more 'philosophical' note, how would one know what one is feeling without any other reference points? If I recall properly, Gibran and Rumi had some stuff to say about that.

 

Not to distract from how you're feeling Audiohealing. I know the feeling of being very very scared. But you'll get through it, you have the skills (from what you've said). And you can always post about it on here. I've found it very very useful.

 

Edit: Yep, the 'purification' or 'detox' thing is often mentioned. I found that helpful too.

Edited November 5, 2012 by -K-

[Audiohealing]

Hey guys,

 

I just finished my Qigong session and feel quite a bit better. Gathering the energy down the LDT helped a lot, but I still feel something "stuck" in my heart chakra. I feel like it's an easy fix intuitively, but have no idea what's wrong.

 

The particularly bad thing about my situation is that my depressive episodes aren't like other people's. Mine last from 6 months all the way up to 2 years for the last one. That is, I am in a constant state of vegetative, suicidal turmoil and literally cannot function at all. Yes, It's that bad.

 

I was wondering if anyone here would be willing to talk to me over the phone or Skype? Just for, whatever. It would make me feel better!

 

Like I said, I can intuitively feel that this thing is easy to fix if someone could detect the problem. Right now, things aren't particularly bad, but I know from past experience, this is the exact state where things can get out of hand very quickly.

 

For what it's worth, I felt absolutely fine before all this crap happened yesterday, so it's really out of the blue. I was aware of the risks, I *cannot* say I saw any of the coming.

Edited November 5, 2012 by Audiohealing

[Audiohealing]

Yep- for sure the problem is in the front channel. Something is stuck in my chest area. I think most everything else is running relatively smoothly.

 

Is there someone knowledgeable here who I could speak to on the phone? I am willing to pay for your time.

 

Please, I really need your guys' help..

 

 

edit: After doing some "Small Universe" (MCO), I managed to smooth out the issue and I'm feeling AT LEAST 50-60% better. I feel I'm on the right track here, guys, but I really need some guidance!

 

I'm going to stop doing all practices for now until I get some solid guidance..

Edited November 5, 2012 by Audiohealing

[Birch]

Oh yes, crap. I should've mentioned MCO. Definitely helped IME.

 

Sounds like you're doing good!

[Thunder_Gooch]

My advice, stay away from benzodiazepines, caffeine, alcohol and pretty much every other drug.

 

Eat a large protein meal, if you are vegetarian make eggs and cheese.

 

Take a lukewarm shower and feel this excess energy draining, do this till the water becomes too cold for you.

 

Make a cup of chamomile tea.

 

Do basic emptiness mediation, and get a good nights rest.

 

Don't do anything too stimulating.

Edited November 5, 2012 by More_Pie_Guy

[Audiohealing]

Thanks guys! Any advice for release trapped energy in the head as well?

[thelerner]

I'm going to stop doing all practices for now until I get some solid guidance..

Yes, very wise. I'm no expert but it seems like grounding is what you need. Long walks in nature with as few thoughts as possible. Just sit and don't worry, time is an amazing healer. We all go through cycles, have faith that this too will pass.

[Audiohealing]

Thank you so much! Yes, I totally agree.

 

Will the excess energy in my head resolve itself sufficiently on its own, though?

 

I feel really loopy right now. I haven't felt this spaced out in a long time.

 

FWIW, I feel much better right now, but by no means back to normal.

 

2 main issues here (even my friend who is a decent energy worker detected these without me telling him)

 

-Too much energy stuck in my head

-Blockage in heart chakra

 

Yes, very wise. I'm no expert but it seems like grounding is what you need. Long walks in nature with as few thoughts as possible. Just sit and don't worry, time is an amazing healer. We all go through cycles, have faith that this too will pass.

[Aetherous]

I sent you a private message, but apparently you didn't get it. If you hold your toes, one a time, with the opposite hand, it will help draw energy down. Spend a lot of time on that. Sleeping tonight will also help you.

[Audiohealing]

I got it! I'm sorry, I forgot to thank you!

 

I will try this before bed for sure.

 

I sent you a private message, but apparently you didn't get it. If you hold your toes, one a time, with the opposite hand, it will help draw energy down. Spend a lot of time on that. Sleeping tonight will also help you.

[Thunder_Gooch]

Thanks guys! Any advice for release trapped energy in the head as well?

 

walking barefoot outside is good also relaxing in the shower and feeling (not visualizing) this energy draining away with the water will help as well, a large protein meal also is grounding as is sleep.

[Thus-gone]

Just wanted to tell you that, for someone who practices any kind of insight meditation, what you describe is extremely familiar and common. At many junctures in intensive meditation, extraordinary bliss or other kinds of otherworldly experiences will give way rather quickly to what is called the "dark night of the soul". Contrary to how it feels, it is in fact a sign of spiritual progress - you are closer to the goal of a permanent baseline perceptual shift. I'm not sure if energy practices alone can navigate you forward from this territory, though I definitely believe they can. Otherwise, or on the side, you will want to look into some kind of insight meditation; this could include vipassana, silent illumination, or similar practices. Ultimately the goal is to develop equanimity towards and mindful acceptance of all the sensations that constitute your present state, until those sensations themselves dissolve into pure equanimity. From there, it's only one step further to attain a very positive baseline shift.