Analect Four - Daily Introspection

[ChiDragon]

曾子曰：「吾日三省吾身─為人謀而不忠乎？與朋友交而不信乎？傳不習乎？」

 

曾子說“我每天多次自我反省：替別人謀划是否忠心？与朋友交往是否守信？學業是否時常溫習？”

 

曾子said: "I introspect myself many times a day: When I worked for others, was I loyal? When I associate with friends, was I trustworthy? Before I teach, did I prepare myself?"

Edited November 15, 2012 by ChiDragon

[林愛偉]

It is always important that a cultivator of the way checks him/herself out daily. This kind of investigation allows one to cultivate honesty, humility and virtue. After knowing one's own faults, it is best to apply oneself in changing them. Thus, further refining to a more complete being.

[manitou]

Was I judgmental today? Was I arrogant? Was I appreciative of nature and spirit manifesting around me? Did I return unkindness with kindness? Did I do everything with the most loving heart I could? Did I keep my word, even in the smallest details? Did I try to be impeccable in my thoughts, words, and actions? Did I see all people as One and not place one over the other in my estimation? Was I demonstrative of the Three Treasures possessed by the Sage? Never be the first....never too much....Love (Yutang translation) Did I "let it be" when it was called for? Was my ego tame today? Was I tolerant of right wingers, lol?

[JustARandomPanda]

Master Zeng¹ said: "I daily thrice examine myself. In counseling men, have I not been wholeheartedly sincere? In associating with friends, have I not been truthful to my word? In transmitting something, have I not been proficient?

 

¹Zeng Shen: one of Master Kong's prominent disciples

[Turner]

This thread is over a year and a half old, but I'm curious to know more about this topic.

 

Do any of you know of helpful exercises for this type of introspection or self-examination? Are there any formal practices related to this in the Confucian tradition?

 

Thanks!

[manitou]

Hi Turner - welcome to TTB's!

 

What the inner process develops is Self Awareness, which is necessary for any enlightenment.

 

Many get there through meditations and reflection on their character defects. I think that meditating at the end of the day and looking for your part in any disagreement you may have had during the day would be a good place to start. The important thing is to try and do this with what's known as a 'Christ consciousness', in other words - don't be defensive of yourself. Step aside of yourself without emotion and look at it quite objectively. Ask your higher self to remove this defect of character - I guarantee that it will be removed, but not by your higher self reaching down into your throat and removing the defect - but rather by leading you into situations where this defect will come into play time and time again until you get the message.

 

There are some of us who are recovering from some substance problems on this forum. There was a fast and dirty way that us recover-ers have used to do this process - it's the 12 steps of recovery, which you can google easily. Take a look specifically at step 4, 5, 8, and 9. Step 4 will have you make a list of your personal defects - it's called a personal inventory, and it tells you to be 'fearless and thorough' while you're doing this. Step 5 takes you into the humiliation of having to tell another person (a very trusted one, to be sure) of the nature of your wrongs. This is a precedent for the true humiliation of having to make amends to any person you have harmed in your life - which are reflected in steps 8 and 9.

 

This process strips you down to your core, and the end result of this, if thorough enough, is self realization after some years. It's an ongoing process which continues to this day, in my case. I'm always looking for my part in things and make apology immediately when the need arises, to prevent new karma from building.

 

There are more Buddha-oriented step programs out there too - someone on this forum recently posted the title of a book about this - if you can find the Healing Circle, click on that and then click on The Tao and the 12 Steps - I think it might have been CT who posted a similar but Buddhist-oriented book on 'steps' to go inside the self.

 

If you want to bounce any of these ideas or steps off me (I've been sponsoring people for over 30 years on this very thing) please feel free to send me a message via PM (Personal Message) - you can just click on my name and a 'Send Me a Message' box will pop up. We can continue this discussion privately, if you wish.

 

The very best wishes to you, whichever inner journey you choose. You are among a small number of people on this forum who understand the necessity for doing this, but the folks who have taken the time to do this are spectacular!

[Turner]

Thanks for this wonderful reply, Manitou, and for the warm welcome to TTBs!

 

I am somewhat familiar with the personal inventory of the 12 steps, but hadn't even thought about it in these terms. What a great insight. I know that this is a very powerful process for a lot of people who are in recovery.

 

I really like how you describe the purification process--very organic. And it is true to experience, I think. It'd be nice if such defects were just removed magically, but they are probably more often slowly burned off... or gradually overcome by the small gains in strength or clarity that come from tiny victories.

 

The list of questions you posted above (your Jan. 2013 message) is very helpful too. I think it's good to set the bar high. For example, you offer this question for introspection: "Did I do everything with the most loving heart I could?" For me personally, this question is almost always answered in the negative... that's just me being honest. But it is a high bar. So, what is the best response? Look for small entryways into growth? realistic improvements? focused and objective resolutions? I don't think there is one correct answer there, but I do think that the goals should be reasonable and that one should have a healthy dose of forgiveness and grace ready for oneself. Otherwise, it can become quite demoralizing!

 

And totally agree with what you said about the need for objective investigation on these things. If we're trying to be our own defense attorney, it seems like we're lacking the proper intention from the get-go.

 

So many great things to think about here. I may even post another reply later, as this one was a bit rushed.

 

One aside: Do you know much about jing zuo, or Confucian quiet sitting, and if it might at all relate to this? I know this forum is primarily focused on the Taoist tradition, but I wonder if this Confucian (and somewhat Taoist and Buddhist) practice might be of practical use on this matter.

[Zhongyongdaoist]

Welcome to the Tao Bums.

 

In regard to this:

 

One aside: Do you know much about jing zuo, or Confucian quiet sitting, and if it might at all relate to this? I know this forum is primarily focused on the Taoist tradition, but I wonder if this Confucian (and somewhat Taoist and Buddhist) practice might be of practical use on this matter.

 

You may find the discussion here of interest:

 

Confucian Qi Gong

[Turner]

Hi Zhongyongdaoist! I love that thread, and it's one of the main reasons I signed up for TTBs.

 

I'll give it another look right now. Great to hear from you, and thanks for the reply message.

[manitou]

One more thing, Turner - consider making a list of every single character defect you can think of. Then 'assume' that you have every single one of them, to some degree. That's another way to start - by actually admitting to them first, before you even find it. Takes the sting out of altogether - it just becomes a question of degree.

[Zhongyongdaoist]

I have said elsewhere several times that I 'believe' that the most profound and useful form of introspection and self-inquiry is the inventory of beliefs. To take advantage of what Manitou has posted take an inventory of all the things that you do believe and then assume that you are wrong about them. Then take an inventory of everything that you don't believe and then assume that you are wrong about them. Then ask yourself why do I believe this, why don't I believe that.

 

It's no good saying that 'so and so', whether great mystic, prophet or teacher said it, because then you have to ask why do I believe what they said. You can't say that it is scientific, or 'church' doctrine because then you have to answer why do you believe that science or the 'church' can be considered authoritative. Eventually you come down to the decisions that you have made about what you believe and why you believe it.

 

Some people try to short circuit this process by saying "I don't believe it, I know it", but then the question is 'Why do you believe that you know it?' and what beliefs do you have about 'knowledge' that allows you to claim it?

 

I could go on, but I have said enough to get the general point across, however, I anticipate a criticism that such an inquiry is all about words and beliefs and I should get 'out of my head and into my heart and belly.' Since I have recently had reason to mention General Semantics on the Tao Bums and have mentioned it elsewhere in the past, I will quote an interesting story told about its founder Alfred Korzybski:

One day, Korzybski was giving a lecture to a group of students, and he interrupted the lesson suddenly in order to retrieve a packet of biscuits, wrapped in white paper, from his briefcase. He muttered that he just had to eat something, and he asked the students on the seats in the front row if they would also like a biscuit. A few students took a biscuit. "Nice biscuit, don't you think," said Korzybski, while he took a second one. The students were chewing vigorously. Then he tore the white paper from the biscuits, in order to reveal the original packaging. On it was a big picture of a dog's head and the words "Dog Cookies." The students looked at the package, and were shocked. Two of them wanted to vomit, put their hands in front of their mouths, and ran out of the lecture hall to the toilet. "You see," Korzybski remarked, "I have just demonstrated that people don't just eat food, but also words, and that the taste of the former is often outdone by the taste of the latter. (Wikipedia on Alfred Korzybski: Anecdotes)

We all 'ate' a lot of words growing up and a lot of them are there in our hearts and our bellies and the they determine who we think we are and how we act. Maybe we should get to know what they are.

[Turner]

One more thing, Turner - consider making a list of every single character defect you can think of. Then 'assume' that you have every single one of them, to some degree. That's another way to start - by actually admitting to them first, before you even find it. Takes the sting out of altogether - it just becomes a question of degree.

 

I have said elsewhere several times that I 'believe' that the most profound and useful form of introspection and self-inquiry is the inventory of beliefs. To take advantage of what Manitou has posted take an inventory of all the things that you do believe and then assume that you are wrong about them. Then take an inventory of everything that you don't believe and then assume that you are wrong about them. Then ask yourself why do I believe this, why don't I believe that.

 

Outstanding suggestions. I love the "negative" starting point or assumption, a sort of radical skepticism with regard to either character traits (manitou's suggestion) or beliefs (Zhongyongdaoist's). Seems like quite an unnerving, but potentially humbling and transformative, process.

 

Reminds me of a passage in Mencius, which alludes to the removal of these defects but also the addition of virtue. He mentions that the notice of vitue will bring joy, which seems like an especially natural response when one starts by assuming the worst as suggested here. It also has some interesting suggestions about the connection between proper intention and natural advancement or cultivation/growth.

 

孟子曰、「求則得之。舍則失之、是求有益於得也、求在我者也。求之有道、得之有命、是求無益於得也、求在外者也。」

 

[7A:3] Mencius said: “Search for it and you gain it. Ignore it and you lose it: this is the searching that has increase in its attainment, the seeking that adds to the self.”

 

“Search for it, keeping the Way, attain it, keeping with destiny. In this searching, there is no increase upon attainment. This is the searching through which you get rid of things.”

 

(13.4) 孟子曰、「萬物皆備於我矣。反身而誠、樂莫大焉。彊恕而行、求仁莫近焉。」

 

[7A:4] Mencius said: “All things are prepared within me. If I reflect on myself and find that I am sincere, shouldn't I be overjoyed? If I strive to conduct myself on the principle of reciprocity, will the Humaneness I seek not be close at hand?”

 

(13.5) 孟子曰、「行之而不著焉、習矣而不察焉、終身由之而不知其道者、衆也。」

 

[7A:5] Mencius said: “Acting without being clear, practicing without close observation: doing this to the end of their lives without ever understanding their own course. This is the way most people are.”

[manitou]

ZYD said: ".....take an inventory of all the things that you do believe and then assume that you are wrong about them"

".....take an inventory of everything you don't believe and assume that you are wrong about them"

 

 

I remember one day when I first walked into Alcoholics Anonymous and laughed out loud when I had the realization "Everything I've come to believe to this point in my life is Wrong!" It was actually funny. Liberatingly funny.

 

I would add something else to this - once you've seen the areas in your life that you've gone wrong, said something wrong, did something hurtful - write down this information so that your brain doesn't conveniently forget it. Remember who is was that you wronged. Because in order to set yourself right, you will need to do the right thing - which is to try and rectify the situation, even if it's by an apology to someone from years ago.

 

Just a glimpse into my own personal story (which is the story of another life altogether, I am no longer this person) - when I was on the police department, I had a way of sleeping with just about every male partner I ever worked with. The real truth of the matter was that I didn't know how to say No to any man because I had no self esteem whatsoever.

 

Well, upon becoming sober, I suddenly realized just how many countless wives I had 'hurt' by sleeping with their husbands. There was no way for me to actually make amends to these people, obviously - most didn't know this had happened. But my form of amend was to say to myself Never Again! Never Again sleep with anybody's husband! This seems to have worked to alleviate the guilt I could have borne. But I have changed my thoughts, my actions, my insides, and am no longer that poor wretch any longer.

 

The hardest apologies yield the most inner mileage. Even if somebody else had started the dynamic, the only side of the street we're interested in sweeping off is our own. It doesn't matter whether the other person accepts the apology, or whether they're still angry about it. More often than not, I've found that most people don't even remember what you're talking about, lol! But this is a clearing out process so dynamic and so thorough that it will change your karma immediately, change your life immediately.

 

The hard part is the beginning. Those are the most glaring discoveries, the most painful to realize, the hardest to apologize for. But the liberation received is beyond words. As the years go on, my Aha!'s aren't as big and frequent as they used to be, but they do come once in a while. I've been doing the inner tracking for 32 years (A Castaneda expression, but the same thing)

 

I think it's just about being the best person we can be.

[Turner]

The hardest apologies yield the most inner mileage. Even if somebody else had started the dynamic, the only side of the street we're interested in sweeping off is our own. It doesn't matter whether the other person accepts the apology, or whether they're still angry about it. More often than not, I've found that most people don't even remember what you're talking about, lol! But this is a clearing out process so dynamic and so thorough that it will change your karma immediately, change your life immediately.

 

I love the objectivity of your approach, and I totally agree. When it comes to apologies, I'm not sure if the other person's offense or recollection are even important. That might be putting it a bit too strongly, but if I do/say something that is objectively offensive or hurtful to someone, then I should apologize whether or not they are subjectively offended or hurt, or whether they remember being offended or hurt. I'm sure we've all had experiences where apologies are given and the other person says (or maybe we're the one saying) that it's no big deal and no apology is needed. I like that and I think it's a thoughtful response, or maybe just an accurate expression of that person's lack of offense. But I don't think it matters: if I've objectively done wrong, then I ought to repent or apologize.

 

Example: a guy is rude to his girlfriend, but she doesn't mind it. Should he still apologize? Clear answer is yes, I think. Even if for no one else but himself. And like you said, manitou, that's the only side of the street he can control or should worry about maintaining.

 

And yes, I do think that the girlfriend (or boyfriend) who "doesn't mind" probably does mind in some way or manner, even if they're not fully aware of it--that's a whole different discussion though. But I was thinking of the (however unlikely) hypothetical where the significant other truly doesn't mind at all.

 

Maybe in instances such as those, a case could be made that we ought to apologize to ourselves and/or something Higher. But I think if we do wrong to another, they do deserve an apology too. Even if it's ancient history.

[woodcarver]

Turner: There's a story in the analects where somebody goes up to confucius and says "before I do/say anything, I first think about it 10 times" and confucius says something like "silence, fool! 2-3 is enough"

 

You're doing fine

[Turner]

Thanks woodcarver. I definitely think one needs a balance. You can either be the person who thinks ten times before even saying "hello" to someone, or the one who never thinks about anything at all and lives the entirely unexamined life. Of course the mean lies somewhere between those two extremes. But if we look at the verse this thread is devoted to, we can see that even that mean is a pretty demanding one: "I introspect myself many times a day..."

[woodcarver]

Oh right the topic, crap.

[Turner]

Don't worry, I didn't mean that as a reproof. I was just trying to reference the verse because it does paint a fairly scrupulous picture of Confucius.

[manitou]

I think you're right Turner. When we make the apology it isn't for the other person, not really. We're the one going for impeccability of spirit. The other person's reaction is a non-issue, even if they feel they don't need an apology. If we feel the need to give one, then it's for a reason within. I've found over the years of recovery that every single one of my apologies that I was dreading (the old ones from years before) turned out with the person being gracious, and sometimes acknowledging their own part in the situation. But we sure can't count on that, and we can't have their perceived reaction deter us from doing what we must do to keep our own side of the street clean.

[Spotless]

This thread is over a year and a half old, but I'm curious to know more about this topic.

 

Do any of you know of helpful exercises for this type of introspection or self-examination? Are there any formal practices related to this in the Confucian tradition?

 

Thanks!

Their are many ways to become aquainted with the processes within you. In settling into a practice of meditation and mindfulness you will be faced with the angst in your dealings with life and you will at the same time expand your patience in dealing with the transformations taking place within yourself. This discipline is also creating ever finer vibrations and energies that become your nature and that help you to unfold.

 

Pattern recognition and objectivity are helped by meditation but other methods can be very helpful in this and thankfully they are quite mechanical. They also help in ebbing towards our nature on all fronts. These are posture related practices such as yoga, Qi Gong and others, as well as fasting.

 

The great work of both of these types of disciplines is the refinement of the pathways within our great vehicles. Patterns and structures that route energies in an ever winding effort to bind into position our positions and hold us firmly planted - they are the source of the illusion and robotically we seek to reinforce them and continue to bind ourselves as we deconstruct the last bindings.

Over and over again we create these bindings often with a gentle and loving touch - in our ever sleeping groping to claw our way up for air.

 

Intentional suffering is that great discipline of looking at this false front we concoct from nothing, these bindings and positions and a willingness to break it down and regenerate. Subjecting ourselves to the world time and again broken and wrecked, full of self doubt and redress - but we continue to unfold and we are unfolding at light speed in the pain of daylight.

 

Meditation and these other forms bring daylight and elbow room - they air out the sweat of broken patterns and discard.

This silence of stillness is a very fine awareness to be found. So much noise is created from nothing and it is this nothing we examine when we look upon that which is known by our name. The ferocity with which it defends itself can be broken. It will want you to see this as disabling and dispiriting - though it is quite the opposite. It's positions on this will be compelling and you are accustom to being its biggest fan.

 

Do not make the mistake of taking these disciplines as air conditioners for making a more pleasant sleep in the heat of life.

 

And take heart often, sit with the trees. An examined life is a brave one.

Edited October 6, 2014 by Spotless

[manitou]

Spotless, Your words shine with the clarity of one who has been there and back.

[nestentrie]

This is seems pretty thoughtful on the surface to me; the idea that one can take stock of their wrongs and make contiguous effort to amend is pretty poetic and attractive. However, I'm not sure I can accept we're capable of tallying up this kind of thing. It seems to me earnesty, while definitely being an effort toward the good, is far most effectual when it's spontaneous. More than spontaneous: responsive. Further, responsive kindness (whether reciporical or not) is the bond that ties earnesty to the good. Anything else is just getting lost in what we prefer.

 

'Do I believe this? Do I accept the implications?' These depend, maybe for today, on what we want; for today is looking toward tomorrow and tommorrow is possibility. Tomorrow, however, me may not want to savour the lingering taste of our want from the previous day. Tommorow we may prefer a different taste altogether.

 

This of course should beg the question 'how can one be earnest if one's preferences change from day to day?' The answer is need. Frankly, counting up what we believe against what we don't accept; counting up what we shall put forward as a plan to carry out the next day; it's all preference. I would prefer to be kind, and I would want to be kind when the situation needs it. Kindness is not something i could store up for the right occasion or distrubute both evenly and as I please. Kindness has no plan. It will not look to the clock waiting for the appointment, it will not wait on the email, and it certainly won't say 'no, look, i'd prefer if you came over tomorrow because there's a kindness that i am developing for you'.

 

Paraphrasing Lao Tzu:

Heaven and Earth will not act with any presumption to be Righteous; they will, however, deal with things as the dogs of grass could be dealt with. Kindness will not presume to act either in any way that could prove Righteous; it can deal between people how people will deal with the dogs of grass.

Allow me to compare the space between heaven and earth to a bellows:

'Tis emptied, yet it loses not its power;

'Tis moved again, and sends forth air the more.

Much speech to swift exhaustion lead we see;

you inner being gaurd, and keep it free.

 

'Tis emptied, yet it loses not its power... Daily introspection may prove for that day illuminating, but as a plan toward future righteousness it can only end in exhaustion. Keep earnest, by all means, just don't expect that kindness, mercy, honesty and trust are going to play along. Not without losing that earnesty. Not without losing humility, faith and sincerity.

 

And it's not that I would dismiss the whole idea as folly. Earnesty, sincerity, humility and faith are powerful agents, and have need of their own. However, they are only too, to be focused on the moment. So again, be earnest in what you declare to believe but believe it for the person now. Believe it for your own person now. If there are things to reject, or things to not accept, these are going to be of the moment too and will only be of advantage when, and if they come into contact with their subjects.

 

'Your inner being guard, and keep it free' i say.

[manitou]

Nice thoughts, Nestentrie. I suspect that at some level you are quite right. Folly it may be. But not for us folks who have to take action to change our negative insides - those of us who are alcoholic or drug addicts. It's not just an earnest thing to do - it's a life-saving thing to do.

 

I had no clue, when I first undertook to change my inner self because I couldn't stop drinking, that my feet were actually being placed on a spiritual path. I didn't realize that until years and years later (after living sober for a while), that the end of the 12 step work was self-realization.

 

One would have to decide if self-realization contained any value or not. In this moment or the next. All I know is that I am not the same person I was 33 years ago and laying in my own vomit. That's where I'm coming from, at least....

 

Best wishes to you -

[doc benway]

One more thing, Turner - consider making a list of every single character defect you can think of. Then 'assume' that you have every single one of them, to some degree. That's another way to start - by actually admitting to them first, before you even find it. Takes the sting out of altogether - it just becomes a question of degree.

 

One of my favorite teachers, Anthony Demello, is a bit of a wrathful fellow.

He advocates the same thing.

When I truly see the side of me that is an ass, I don't get as reactive or defensive when others point that out.

It's quite effective.

[nestentrie]

Nice thoughts, Nestentrie. I suspect that at some level you are quite right. Folly it may be. But not for us folks who have to take action to change our negative insides - those of us who are alcoholic or drug addicts. It's not just an earnest thing to do - it's a life-saving thing to do.

 

I had no clue, when I first undertook to change my inner self because I couldn't stop drinking, that my feet were actually being placed on a spiritual path. I didn't realize that until years and years later (after living sober for a while), that the end of the 12 step work was self-realization.

 

One would have to decide if self-realization contained any value or not. In this moment or the next. All I know is that I am not the same person I was 33 years ago and laying in my own vomit. That's where I'm coming from, at least....

 

Best wishes to you -

Self-realisation. Introspection in general. They're not folly. And the negativity does need to be addressed. I can easily accept that it's life changing. So it's not as if I would denigrate your attitude or your effort. Or your achievement for that matter. I'm happy that you've found the right perspective.

 

I struggle with addiction too, and suppose I haven't come to the proper self-realistion of it. I'm a drinker and a smoker and have a past with marijuana use. I drink alcohol because I can't smoke weed anymore. When I was 21 I had drug induced psychosis which followed with a diagnosis of schizophrenia. Any time I touch the stuff (even now at 32) it's almost immediate psychotic paranoia (and the rest). From diagnosis out, I've been a socially anxious mess. No motivation to get a job; too sensitive to their pressures to keep them.

 

My case may be different, but I have experience with introspection and the idea of 'tomorrow i'm going to succeed'. That the longest I've ever held a full time job was for 7 consecutive months; that I go years without a job and a decent income; that I am living with my parents at 32; these are the stuffs for deep introspection and soul searching. I just don't buy that I need to be righteous about it.

 

I dunno. Dunno what further to say. At times my my diagnosis (and my past) is like a trophy. Other times I have deep shame. With being in the mental health system there is a degree of learned helplessness about it. And family, doing their best to 'keep educated' about it, and with sincere compassion for you, tend to reinforce setup. (It doesn't help that for years I spent my time in online mental health chatrooms where I 'learnt' whole new ways to excuse myself of any wrong doing).

 

But the need to have good relations with people never quits. On that point I am in deep sychrony with you. I just maintain that it all should be spontaneous. Too much of anything is bad.

 

I hope you're keeping well.

Edited October 26, 2014 by nestentrie