End of relationship...

[Aetherous]

I'm a total beer fan...but never get drunk. Just don't like to or see the point. I savor my beers.

 

Love Ecclesiastes as well...remembering these things can be very enriching to one's life!

[ShenLung]

Proverbs 31:2 brings to mind the lay of Odin ... when a man is in his cups, his true mind is known. The missus likes to ask me esoteric questions after the fourth Spaten, since my tongue has loosened by then. A bit off topic, but perhaps I savor my beers overmuch

[Aetherous]

No better burden can a man carry on the road

than a store of common sense;

a worse journey-provisioning he couldn't carry over the land

than to be too drunk on ale.

 

It isn't as good as it's said to be,

ale, for the sons of men;

for the more he drinks, the less he knows

about the nature of men.

 

The heron of forgetfulness hovers over the ale-drinking;

he steals men's wits;

with the feathers of this bird I was fettered

in the Court of Gunnold.

 

- Havamal, 11-13 (Larrington translation)

 

[skydog]

very nice responses here, I will add at the moment, my heart is feeling these kind of pains. Not that I have particuarly ended any relationship

 

Some useful thoughts have popped up to me.

 

One is "Maybe it would be nice to experience different great relationships, who knows what will happen " instantly everything shifts, you dont neccessarily have to be harsh and cut off from how you feel but just going with the flow, and watching what comes up, gently setting the intention, and also doesnt mean you have cut the other person off, they may still be in your heart. The future is open going with the flow, gently with awareness

 

Also examine any beliefs you may have about why that person was "the most special and no one can replace her/him" Silly thoughts and irrational beliefs may have just come up, including ones like "I want to wallow in this pain and feel butthurt, oh dating a few women at once is just wrong makes you evil" I can think of more just a bit personal.

 

One thing that helps with heart issues is set the intent of what pain it is you want healed, your desire is important imo, as this is what your heart is struggling with...this helps set the intent very well imo http://www.amazon.co...#R18PT0W791W2JQ then do your normal practices be empty unattached..

Edited December 14, 2012 by sinansencer

[Birch]

"Typical crap in women's mind shown in this movie"

 

Hmm, does the movie show the crap or beget the crap?

Some scripts get thrown at you, others are literally taught to you from the cradle, often by example. Some get beat into you and some, well, where do you think they come from?

 

Here are just a few things I have been taught about love and being a woman:

 

- Love means compliance and acceptance

- Love means dependence

- Standing up for myself is unfeminine

- Speaking out is unfeminine

- My main contribution to the world is children

[GrandmasterP]

No disrespect K but you have had some poor teachers.

[gatito]

No disrespect K but you have had some poor teachers.

 

Seconded

[Birch]

Thanks! I like to call them 'mum and dad'

 

Edit: just so no-one gets confused. I'm not referring to 'spiritual teachers'. I also don't actually believe these things about love and being a woman. The point was to illustrate what crap can get 'taught' to people :-)

Edited December 14, 2012 by -K-

[gatito]

"If it aint one thing it's your mother"

[Birch]

K, have you finally and utterly rejected your past teachings

 

?

 

Utterly, yes:-) Finally, well, that's an interesting question. I'd love to say yes, all done and cooked but I suspect there's some work left:-)

[三江源]

Utterly, yes:-) Finally, well, that's an interesting question. I'd love to say yes, all done and cooked but I suspect there's some work left:-)

 

Such beliefs as you speak of being fed live all around us, in the atmosphere, breathed at us and embodied in so many cultural reference points.

We have to have pristine immunity, which is why being a woman is a spiritual practice in itself if we accept the challenge.

[Antares]

"Typical crap in women's mind shown in this movie"

 

Hmm, does the movie show the crap or beget the crap?

Some scripts get thrown at you, others are literally taught to you from the cradle, often by example. Some get beat into you and some, well, where do you think they come from?

 

 

Sorry for my poor English as I cant use proper "poetic" English (I still learn english). Simply speaking women are "yin". IMO they have more emotionally unsteady minds caused by the motions of "karmic winds". And they more mundane deff. One day she might show her big interest to a man but next day she can start playing games. They are more looking fun and men who can give them good fun. Especially nice women who are spoilt by men from young ages. One time she might don't like that you don't molest her from the first day of your meeting and if you do this she may be offended. You gonna be always wrong from her perspective. Today she likes this thing tomorrow another one because their mood is very unstable. This is my experience only. I just have not met good woman who it would be nice to talk about serious things like spirituallity and have some fun too and who is mentally stable and matured. Normally they affraid my "spiritual" set of mind and we cant find something in common. I know there are many nice and clever women but nott much chances to meet them and I don't like molest a woman on a street.

Where is it coming from? From "yin" nature first of all and second from society and "culture" based on TV. Of course, many people find each other and live somehow but how many are reaaly happy and healthy and spiritual? Yes, they have common interests such as: TV, walking with a dog, shopping, pubbing, drinking, smoking, jerking... and so on... In this movie thay had common interests and shw wanted something I think but the problem is that THEY DONT KNOW WHAT THEY WANT.

From my perspective two ego meet each other and start playing games.

Edited December 15, 2012 by Eugene

[Birch]

Now it's funny. I can say I definitely don't want to spend time with people who think this about just women. I reckon you're dead on on some points and not on others. The 'molesting' thing for example, although you might be using the word wrong:-)

What's a 'spiritual mindset'?

[GrandmasterP]

Philip Larkin had it about right on mums and dads.

http://www.artofeurope.com/larkin/lar2.htm

Edited December 15, 2012 by GrandmasterP

[spiraltao]

I JUST READ THIS IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT WOMEN, SORRY

 

 

 

"Typical crap in women's mind shown in this movie"

 

Hmm, does the movie show the crap or beget the crap?

Some scripts get thrown at you, others are literally taught to you from the cradle, often by example. Some get beat into you and some, well, where do you think they come from?

 

Here are just a few things I have been taught about love and being a woman:

 

- Love means compliance and acceptance

- Love means dependence

- Standing up for myself is unfeminine

- Speaking out is unfeminine

- My main contribution to the world is children

 

 

Funny thing K, living for myself in a relationship is just plain hard. I have left evidence on this board of some of my worst moments brought on by an emotional overload. I call it love when I know she is the first to make me feel like this, I have learned, speaking out is NOT unfeminine, no matter how much I wish it was sometimes (joke), I can't find standing up for yourself unfeminine at all. I thought being femininity were the powers or strengths of a woman, to be frank.

 

I feel like my daughter is my biggest gift to the world with me trying to be just as big a gift. I have seen ego in some posts, but I am not so sure I understand it, only that TOO much ego is a recipe for disaster.

 

My better half and I had a HUGE argument a few days ago and she left. I was heartbroken and felt like a young child for my behavior in the incident, however we both agree and practice on forgiveness and I love her, feel that the feeling is reciprocated to me. We seem to have gotten out some deep issues during my undue intensity and so far they have been for the better.

 

I hope this helped some.

Edited December 15, 2012 by jaysahnztao

[spiraltao]

Philip Larkin had it about right on mums and dads.

 

Pardon my ignorance but what did he say?

[Birch]

Jaysahnztao, thanks for your post.

I should reiterate that I no longer believe these things, but that these are the things I was taught about love and being a woman by my family (and the wider culture reinforced it to some extent and I myself persisted in it to some extent - the latter being the only aspect of it over which I have any influence).

 

To me, forgiveness initially (and may for some time) requires that the object of forgiveness is recognized by all parties. If one party denies that there is anything to forgive then it only makes it more difficult for the other to do so initially. Forcing it is IME/IMO cause for suffering.

 

Ego can also (as I've recently found out) be a constricting thing that binds self-hatred, it's not always the grandiose thing that people might think of off the bat. It might be a thing that does not stand up for itself and persists in self-criticism where the original critics left off.

[ShenLung]

Yeah, this thread has taken a turn into an ugly place.

 

Are women 'messed up' in a deep, possibly spiritual way that makes 'normal' interaction with the opposite sex challenging? Sure.

But that's one sided.

Men are also 'messed up' in a deep, possibly spiritual way that makes 'normal' interaction with the opposite sex challenging.

 

That is because the issue isn't Male/Female, it is Human/Human. Until we, as individuals, recognize our own issues (or that we even have them) there will continue to be a pattern of misandrogeny followed by a push-back of misogeny; with a fair bit of general misanthropy thrown into the mix.

[Antares]

Now it's funny. I can say I definitely don't want to spend time with people who think this about just women. I reckon you're dead on on some points and not on others. The 'molesting' thing for example, although you might be using the word wrong:-)

What's a 'spiritual mindset'?

 

Sorry what means "dead on some points"? And yes. This is not about just women. Many men the same. But women are more "unstable" in their mood and used the word "mondane". There were many spiritual MEN and only few WOMEN.

As for spiritual mindset I mean matured soul, a person who is looking harmony in life on the spiritual path. That's not a way of a vast majority of woman. They have absolutely another goals and interests in life in majority, that what I wanted to say.

"Molesting" ... I don t pick up girls on streets as have bad experience. At the moment dont even think of sex. It is more important to see your desires and work with it coz sex and sexual "behavior" takes much energy off. I want to be more clear it is better to find second half inside rather then looking someBODY outside for sex

[Birch]

'Dead on' means an emphatic 'you're right'.

 

Your 'molesting' idea still doesn't sound very nice.

[GrandmasterP]

No spiritual women?

Wash out ya mouth bro!

The list of spiritual women is feckin' endless...

Start here...

http://press.princeton.edu/titles/7733.html

Edited December 15, 2012 by GrandmasterP

[Antares]

Yeah, this thread has taken a turn into an ugly place.

 

Are women 'messed up' in a deep, possibly spiritual way that makes 'normal' interaction with the opposite sex challenging? Sure.

But that's one sided.

Men are also 'messed up' in a deep, possibly spiritual way that makes 'normal' interaction with the opposite sex challenging.

 

That is because the issue isn't Male/Female, it is Human/Human. Until we, as individuals, recognize our own issues (or that we even have them) there will continue to be a pattern of misandrogeny followed by a push-back of misogeny; with a fair bit of general misanthropy thrown into the mix.

 

I can agree. But I have never met a woman who was looking for spirituality and sexual attractive FOR at the same time. I would agree completely with you but I cant ignore my experience.

[Birch]

How about you look into the 'sexually attractive' aspect of it? There's a lot in there (and not just sex:-))

[ShenLung]

I can agree. But I have never met a woman who was looking for spirituality and sexual attractive FOR at the same time. I would agree completely with you but I cant ignore my experience.

 

The point is this: quit looking, and work on yourself. You might NEVER encounter a member of the opposite sex that is going to be completely in sync with your path that you can have a physical relationship with. Once you get to this point, you will find girls everywhere ... kinda spooky.

[GrandmasterP]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cora_L._V._Scott

Hot, beautiful, spiritual...........

Cora LV is still wowing seances to this day.