Wet dreams

[Flolfolil]

Anyone got any advice on how to not have them? i love lucid dreaming, but whenever i get into a semi lucid one it turns to sex. i wish i could get back in control of my sleep world :/

[GrandmasterP]

Chance would be a fine thing.

You get to my age and an 'erotic' dream involves pipe and slippers.

Nothing else, just pipe and slippers.

The really crazy ones might have a nice cup of tea and a sit down in there as well but there has to be a full moon for those wild n whacky dreams to happen.

[ChiDragon]

If you are young and the cup was full, then it spills. You cant stop it because you are nice and healthy. So, let Nature take its course.

[skydog]

erm no expert, but i dont have wet dreams, what can happen is that in half asleep mode, i get unconscious and feel super super horny where I cant control it, hence any difficulty keeping my life energy for beautiful health usually happens in that state just waking up from sleep either in the middle of the night or morning. So I make sure usually I sleep naked or with natural material such as jeans..

 

Also as weird as it sounds the kind of food you eat and kindness helps to keep these things easier.

 

Also I am finding sleeping qigong helps to keep me conscious all the time..

 

but I am still relatively new to all this

 

peace

[GrandmasterP]

Who is this Jean you sleep with and what is her 'natural material'?

[skydog]

well its more cotton than polyester jogging bottoms, those usually stimulate some kind of blockage/arousal and yeh didnt mean to put jeans next to natural materials.

[GrandmasterP]

I can't wear synthetics at all, get terrible electric shocks if I do.

Bought some synthetic Ugg type boots last winter and had to bin em.

Every time I touched the door handles sparks flew, literally, you could see the sparks jumping from my hand to the metal door handle.

[Flolfolil]

hmm, yes. it has been happening more since i have been wearing pajama pants to bed.

 

why does it have to be so damn cold?! i live in the desert! there are cactuses right outside!

[Aaron]

Wiki pedia has some interesting information about wet dreams. apparently they are far more common in the east then in the West. Also in the East the rate of masturbation is significantly lower than in the West. I think it's just the different way of handling urges. I'd suggest not freaking out about it and just accepting it out the natural course of action.

 

Aaron

 

Edit- I've never had them either.

Edited December 14, 2012 by Aaron

[Flolfolil]

yeah not worrying about it has been the biggest aid for me already, was just wondering if there is anything else i could do

[Alchemistgeorge]

I believe Dr. Stephen Chang's books say to do the deer exercise to control wet dreams.

[ShenLung]

Natrual cotten or wool, all the way ... I still gauss my computer screen, though. Oh, wet dreams, you say? they fairly much end after forty or so. Longer if you are repressed.

[Seeker of Wisdom]

If your jing is used to flowing out through sex and you don't release, then wet dreams will happen to release the pressure. BUT if your jing is circulating naturally (and at later stages becoming chi), then this is not necessary. So you have two options:

• Masturbate regularly.
  
• Retain jing and cultivate seriously so it circulates and sublimates.
  

 

If you choose the latter path, then focus on cultivating mental clarity much more than on cultivating energy. Mental clarity makes everything else happen naturally. Direct energy cultivation can help you progress faster, but don't attach to form.

 

Choose what seems right to you... but in my experience, you will probably find yourself leaning towards the second path more as time goes by.

 

What you don't want to do is retain without cultivation, especially in a forceful repressive way. It doesn't work, just messes people up. We all know how quickly that turns priests into paedo priests!

[joeblast]

Deer and crane spreads its wings like malik and george said. And stop lucid dreaming for now until you get a better handle on your desires. If you're practicing the kunlun stuff it has a tendency to amplify desires, so keep your awareness, if you are going to be cultivating you cant be letting your desires get the better of you.

[Flolfolil]

Deer and crane spreads its wings like malik and george said. And stop lucid dreaming for now until you get a better handle on your desires. If you're practicing the kunlun stuff it has a tendency to amplify desires, so keep your awareness, if you are going to be cultivating you cant be letting your desires get the better of you.

 

yeah the lucid dreaming technique i was using was pushing blood into my head. sometimes increased bloodflow to my brain just happens, those nights being the ones where i have a crazy or sexual dream

[Alchemistgeorge]

From the Tao of Sexology, page 75 (Dr. Stephen Chang)

 

The Deer Exercise can correct many sexual problems, including premature ejaculation, low sexual hormone levels, infections of the testicles, wet dreams, and impotence.

...

Premature ejaculation and semen leakage are commonly thought to be psychological in nature. Wet dreams are regards as normal by medical science. But from the Taoist point of view, wet dreams are not normal. They indicate a weakness of the prostate gland. Premature ejaculation is also an indication of a weak prostate gland.

[Mal]

Anyone got any advice on how to not have them? i love lucid dreaming, but whenever i get into a semi lucid one it turns to sex. i wish i could get back in control of my sleep world :/

 

If you want control, well ... if you have a retention practice you can learn to reconise the "triggers" and practice retention in dreams, exactly like you would in "real life". However if the energy is just being repressed rather than transformed the "triggers" can become very non sexual ( which can get rather suprising )

 

 

Personal preference, less control - enjoy whatever you encounter without wishing it was something different.

 

 

re: how not to have them

Question - How does one discern/distinguish between repression & making real progress in brahamacharya through conservation and transmutation of vital energy? I believe one who is engaged in brahamacharya with honest efforts towards god devotion will know but just wanted to ask.

 

Answer - Repression of the sexual urge refers to forcibly abstaining from sexual activity bodily, while the mind roams in the forest of sexuality. Repression also occurs when conserved sexual energy is not chanellized into productive physical, mental and spiritual activity such as God-meditation. A person who merely practices celibacy (abstention from sexual intercourse) while his mind imagines/fantasizes on sexuality causes repression. Repression is bad for health and causes agitation, irritation, anxiety, stress, anger etc.. Such a mind then builds physical toxins in the body which cause ill-health/disease. Hence the sexual urge should not be suppressed or repressed through any means. It should be harnessed into productivity through transmutation using the technique of Brahmacharya.

 

This is the difference between Brahmacharya and mere celibacy. The word Brahmacharya does not have an equivalent word in English, as this concept does not exist in western culture. Western civilization wrongfully equates/assumes it to be celibacy and makes statements against Brahmacharya. Brahmacharya is not celibacy. Celibacy is a minor by-product of Brahmacharya and not Brahmacharya itself. The celibacy that comes as a result of Brahmacharya is not detrimental but beneficial, while mere celibacy/abstinence without Brahmacharya is injurious. Sexual energy is a mammoth power. It cannot be suppressed or repressed by celibacy. It can either be let out through sexuality or transmuted into something higher through Brahmacharya.

 

Some signs which indicate repression of sexual energy include frequent wet dreams, oscillating moods, lethargy, stupor and inertia. Most aspirants who aren’t properly applying the tenets of Yoga & Brahmacharya exhibit such symptoms early in practice. Later, they realize the technique of Brahmacharya and overcome these obstacles. An aspirant who is successful in transmutation will often be active, bright, cheerful and full of energy. One who is repressing or suppressing his sex drive will often be stressed, anxious, irritable and fickle in mind, though these symptoms need not necessarily mean repression alone, for other causes also lead to such symptoms. Sometimes, during the initial stages of Brahmacharya, even an honest aspirant who is successful in transmutation might rarely exhibit such symptoms when his past Vasana-s surface and create havoc. However, this will be temporary and soon weans away to be replaced with positivism.

 

As long as an aspirant is following the tenets and lifestyle of Yoga & Brahmacharya with devotion to God assisted by regular meditation, repression does not arise and transmutation occurs automatically.

 

http://en.allexperts.com/q/Celibacy-Abstinence-3564/2012/3/prana-atman-body-part.htm

[Flolfolil]

well i should have added this from the beginning, but my situation is more complicated than repressing or not repressing.

 

since doing spiritual stuff, i have almost completely lost my sex drive. i have a partner, and he has i don't know....i want to say a more natural sex drive. if i have sex, i get tired. i definitely get a lot more tired if i j/o so i don't do that. But sometimes i have to use porn to even get me going enough to want to have sex :/ i want to be sexually active with my partner, but if the moment of intimacy just happens, i am never in the mood. If i want to be in the mood, i literally have to prepare myself for hours by looking at porn or fantasizing. When i am purely abstaining, i don't think about sex at all. But then i want to be sexual, so i encourage it and i go overboard. Don't know what to do...

[Mal]

That sounds like an unplesant situation, I understand you wishing for it to change. Balancing sexual desire/drive is very difficult and can be a long term journy ... You should get many sugestions as the issue is multifaceted and sexuality is a common topic on TTB, but change is definitly possible.

 

Personal preference, less control - enjoy whatever you encounter without wishing it was something different.

plus more love, less porn

[Flolfolil]

plus more love, less porn

 

what if my idea of love doesn't really involve sex? i have trouble relating the two. To me, love is snuggling and being together and whatnot and sex is...a way to relieve pressure

[Mal]

what if my idea of love doesn't really involve sex? i have trouble relating the two.

 

So do I, I certanly think socity curently promotes many "ideals" where sex is devoid of love - porn is a example, an area seriously lacking in love. The terms "having sex" and "making love" are used interchaingable yet having sex is not the same as making love.

 

Pornography Divorces Body From Soul

For thousands of years the name of Eve was blackened and reviled. She dared to disturb the peace, to go against the prevailing wisdom of the time. She had the temerity not to stay in her place, and there was a certain price to pay. The Christian Church took on the stern voice of Jehovah as soon as one of the saints, Augustine, proclaimed that Eve was not, after all, a bestower of life but a perpetrator of the original sin, passed down to us all ever since.

 

From Augustine on, the wisdom of Eve was reviled. The beauty and life of the manifest world came to be seen as temptations drawing the spirit away from its true home in some heaven that would only be fully appreciated in the afterlife. Body and spirit were seperated, and the soul was chased out of this world. The world of living beings, including the human body itself, became a world of things, of objects devoid of their own meaning and intelligence. The animals and trees fell silent. Life was carved into two: right and wrong, good and bad, spiritual and carnal. This was the true act of original sin.

 

Endless sufferings have trailed in its wake, most of them in the name of righteousness.

 

So the erotic life was trampled underfoot, or held hostage behind tight lips and prim and proper facades. Nowadays, itis concealed in even cleverer ways. Sex and pornography are a booming business, which only goes to show, some people say, what a liberated and sensual culture we are.

 

But pornography divorces body from soul and turns the body into a thing, which can be used like any other thing for profit in the marketplace. Pornography is a caricature of the erotic: it can only exist by denying relationship.

 

It demands anonymity, as Eros did before Psyche shone her light on him. Without relationship, there is no connectedness, no feeling and no valuing of the other person. There is no soul. There is only sensation, for its own sake. Sensation is only skin-deep; it's effects are immediate and short-term, and like a ride on the big dipper, its risks are mostly hypothetical, rather than real. Sensation, unlike the erotic, lets us off lightly. There is nothing to give, except the cost of the ride. To skim the surface of life, however, leaves us on our own, and ultimately lonely. Far from being an erotic culture, we are probably one of the most disembodied and anti-sensual cultures of all time.

 

Excerpt from Soul and Sensuality by Roger Housden

 

Perhaps further investigation/reflection on love could be enlightening? (or at the very least enjoyable)

I find loving kindness meditation a good way to investigate love...

and trust your feelings