I am attached to my sufferings and dramas and don't want to let them go

[Jetsun]

I have realised that I am scared to let go of all the conflicts and internal dramas going on inside of me because I fear my life will be left meaningless, it is the personal story of my life which I feel gives my life meaning and if I let it go I will just be a lifeless boring empty shell; even though all theses issues and left over resentments and outdated patterns mostly cause me suffering at least it is life with some sort of narrative and interesting drama, better than boring void.

 

If I let go the hurts other people have caused me then there is no consequence of their actions, those people never get to see the affect of their harmful action on me so they get away scot free, so I hold onto my anger and resentment like it is precious and keep reinforcing my revenge intentions in my mind and anyone who tries to take it all away I see as a threat.

 

So it could be that most of the spiritual work I have been trying over many years may has been pretty worthless as you can't let go of what you want to hold on to, to steal a phrase of Sadguru it is like like trying to lift up a plank of wood you are standing on. Although it could be that the spiritual work is what has made me finally realise this, can anyone relate or do people find that they can just let go off all their stuff without much resistance?

[Jetsun]

If someone like Jesus came along and tried to take away my precioussss I would probably string them up too

[ShenLung]

You are closer than you might think. Now you are facing a central conflict of your existance, and have the courage to name it and face it ... all that is left now is to overcome it.

[Birch]

Oh yes:-)

That's what this 'voluntary suffering' business (as I understand it at this point) is about.

 

My take on trying to show those people what the effects of their actions on me is about: it's about getting them to stop doing it. Definitely a valid attempt. What if they don't or haven't stopped doing it? What if they have stopped?

 

I wouldn't say it's worthess.

 

----opinion alert---

[GrandmasterP]

Aye, unless we first stare into the abyss we'll never manage to cross it.

Recognizing barriers is the first step towards overcoming them.

[Marblehead]

So it could be that most of the spiritual work I have been trying over many years may has been pretty worthless ...

I would disagree with this assessment. You have awareness and that is a result of your work. But now, what to do?

 

I don't know you well enough to even make a suggestion.

 

However, I will suggest that the fear you have is nothing more than a jusification you have created so that you don't have to do anything.

 

Yes, changing our nature, the one we create over time, is scarey. Be brave!

 

Afterall, if you get rid of all the baggage you can at least move faster and get out of the way.

[Birch]

[thetaoiseasy]

Why was it so sad that the children died yesterday? The death of potential.

 

The potential for discovery, regeneration, and growth holds the true significance of emptiness. A full shell cannot hold much more.

 

By not letting go, you are killing yourself.

 

An empty shell has the potential to contain all things. Not only do you give yourself a renewed chance to grasp the essence of life, the imprint left by the emptied trash can help carry the burden of others.

Edited December 15, 2012 by thetaoiseasy

[GrandmasterP]

Massive RIP coverage of that tragedy over on the MA forum.

http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/showthread.php/106751-WTF-Is-Wrong-With-People

Edited December 15, 2012 by GrandmasterP

[Jetsun]

My take on trying to show those people what the effects of their actions on me is about: it's about getting them to stop doing it. Definitely a valid attempt. What if they don't or haven't stopped doing it? What if they have stopped?

 

Oh they have stopped doing it, they probably stopped and forgot about it over ten years ago, although I will have to see them over Christmas, maybe finally they will recognise what has happened and apologise, fingers crossed!!! maybe I should stop putting my happiness in the hands of others.

[Marblehead]

... maybe I should stop putting my happiness in the hands of others.

I would call that a given.

[Edward M]

Jetsun, how do you feel when you face these hurtful happenings and the feelings that go with them? does it make you close up?

 

Personally i've been through a lot of crap during the years, i've found the only way to come to terms with it is to face it head on inside of oneself, and just be open and accepting of everything that comes up, not close up/run away etc.. it gives one strength and freedom when this is practised and you will find yourself walking into situations in the outer world which you will not turn away from.

 

Hope this helps somewhat.. all the best.

[Birch]

 

 

Oh they have stopped doing it, they probably stopped and forgot about it over ten years ago, although I will have to see them over Christmas, maybe finally they will recognise what has happened and apologise, fingers crossed!!! maybe I should stop putting my happiness in the hands of others.

 

Do you reckon that's likely to happen? I'd second Mr MH on this one:-) I also think I know what you're referring to. This Christmas I won't be seeing them.

[ShenLung]

Oh they have stopped doing it, they probably stopped and forgot about it over ten years ago, although I will have to see them over Christmas, maybe finally they will recognise what has happened and apologise, fingers crossed!!! maybe I should stop putting my happiness in the hands of others.

 

Sharing even that much takes some courage. There are a LOT of people here in Taobums that have some experiences that are similar, if not identical to what you have. People are messed up, it's true. It is not your job to make them realize what they have done; they are on their own path. Hopefully you are now beyond the influence of these messed up people, and can chart your own path.

[joeblast]

That's why when you place an intention in the palm of your hand and blow it off into the wind, you must let go of it. Such is your effect on others - you can only have proper intent and action in your own dealings, beyond that, you must have faith that the ripples you send out into the universe can have positive impact, but you cannot be attached to the outcome of those ripples. Its a quantum mechanical world out there, and those ripples of effect you manifest into the universe are really only altering probabilities, and each "event" will be its own conglomeration of probabilities that comes together to manifest something.

[Jetsun]

Do you reckon that's likely to happen? I'd second Mr MH on this one:-) I also think I know what you're referring to. This Christmas I won't be seeing them.

 

Yeah I was sort of joking as I would say there is 0% chance of anything like that happening, yet I still don't want to let go of all the internal dramas and grudges which aren't even the slightest bit relevant to my life any more.

 

Forgiveness and letting go is usually such a relief and so beneficial yet for some reason it is difficult to do. I am starting to see the benefit in those paths which do everything for the sake of others, you can forgive and let go for the sake of others but doing it just for yourself is a lot more difficult, most people I see like myself don't bother they prefer to hold on to it all.

[GrandmasterP]

You have a blast this Crimbo K.

Enjoy.

:-)

[Jetsun]

Sharing even that much takes some courage. There are a LOT of people here in Taobums that have some experiences that are similar, if not identical to what you have. People are messed up, it's true. It is not your job to make them realize what they have done; they are on their own path. Hopefully you are now beyond the influence of these messed up people, and can chart your own path.

 

I'm not confessing to having special time with a Catholic Priest or anything, i'm just talking more in general about all the old patterns and left over resentments which I prefer to hold on to rather than let go. Letting go is scary, who are you if you let go of everything which you consider an integral part of yourself? there is plenty of time to merge with the void and nothingness when you are dead.

[GrandmasterP]

All the shit is still there it just don't have the hold on one that once it did.

[thetaoiseasy]

.

Edited October 17, 2013 by thetaoiseasy

[Jetsun]

When you get to the gate of the void, the security officer will ask you, "Why are you bringing so much luggage?" You respond, "I just have a lot of stuff I need, okay?" He says, "better luck next life then."

 

I don't say this facetiously or to mock you. But if you do not merge with the void in this life, you will not merge with the void when you are dead.

 

I've gotten to that gate many times and was rejected. You are not allowed to bring to any garbage up there, only the refined essence of your being.

 

Maybe when you die you have to let go of it all whether you like it or not, I understand how if you do this during your lifetime it will cause less suffering and make this a smoother process when you die, but so far I have not been convinced that the result of not letting it go when you are alive is to be born again to have another go, I know a lot of religious texts say that but I see no obvious reason to believe them at the moment.

[thetaoiseasy]

That is definitely your right. I wish you the best and hope you find what you're looking for!

[Marblehead]

I wish you the best and hope you find what you're looking for!

And then, if you stop looking what might happen?

[Birch]

You have a blast this Crimbo K.

Enjoy.

:-)

 

Thank you!

[Birch]

Maybe when you die you have to let go of it all whether you like it or not, I understand how if you do this during your lifetime it will cause less suffering and make this a smoother process when you die, but so far I have not been convinced that the result of not letting it go when you are alive is to be born again to have another go, I know a lot of religious texts say that but I see no obvious reason to believe them at the moment.

 

It's a good topic. How would a person find any of it out for themselves? I think the folks that do 'bardo' practices are gearing themselves up for what they believe will happen. But to actually know?