loss of emotion? WTF

[mike 134]

Hi ppl,

 

I'm getting a strange new symptom and I'm wondering if anybody here knows what is going on. I am a sufferer of what you guys call kundalini syndrome and I got it spontaneously without any spiritual aspiration, past or present.

 

I seem to have lost most of my emotions, both good and bad. I first noticed it a week and a half ago, when a crazy psychopath shot up a school and killed a bunch of kids. Normally, like most people, I would have reacted strongly to such news. But instead, I found myself with no reaction at all. It was like receiving the news of the weather, the stock market, or celebrity gossip. I had no feeling whatsoever.

 

I tested myself by watching disturbing videos, like this worm eating contest:

 

 

Normally this kind of thing would make me totally vomit, but again, I had no reaction. I also did a google image search for the most disgusting and vile thing I can think of, the infamous "harlequin ichthyosis". (*WARNING* don't search for this unless if you want to be severely disturbed!!!) I remember the first time I saw the pictures a few years ago and it totally grossed me out. But now those evil zombie eyes do nothing to perturb my unusual sense of calm.

 

Ahhh... calmness, no emotion, no fear, no disgust, no anxiety, no attachment. The Stoics held this state in high regard, And it would be all fine and dandy, if I were unaffected only be negative events. Unfortunately, "kundalini" does not have the intelligence that some people ascribe to it, and I find myself unaffected by positive events as well. Today is Christmas, and i should be feeling festive, but I am not. 2 days ago I was at an Xmas party and I left early due to boredom. The day before that I received an unexpected bonus and even that didn't affect me. Now don't get me wrong.... I'm not depressed. I don't feel bad. But I don't feel good either. It looks like I'm stuck at a neutral zero point, devoid of feeling. And everything is so boring and bland here, when the emotions are gone. And It seems like my thinking is also slower, as it took me over half an hour to compose this post. So I ask you guys, WTF is happening to me, and how do I stop it and then hopefully reverse it? I want my emotions back, and I want to return to the way that I was before this shit happened to me.

 

Thanks.

[thelerner]

This may not be the case and will probably not be helpful but I was reminded about a case of chemical enlightenment. A research scientist took a powerful psychoactive drug that turned off his emotions. It turned off a chemical in his brain. It made him very dispassionate about everything. He sounded like you sound and he didn't like it. When he stopped taking the drug it went away.

 

So..without knowing anything or being any kind of expert, I wonder if you've used an energy trick ie kundalini to stop a chemical process in your head? Or if its a case of hearing very depressing news and commanding yourself to Stop the painful emotion; and it worked too well, everything stopped? It may go away by itself, you may need to give yourself permission to feel again, to cry again when in a state of deep meditation or hypnosis. Or perhaps a mental reboot through fasting or try serotonin boosting foods or drugs.

 

thats all I got. good luck

[PLB]

On some level, you are reacting if it bothers you that you are not reacting. Not sure why you call it a "kundani syndrome".

It sounds to me like a lot of routines you got used to pumping you up have petered out. That doesn't mean you have stopped feeling.

What do you feel when you think about what you have done and not done in the past? Have you ever betrayed trust? Do you wish someone loved you when you know they never will?

Don't get me started.

Edited December 26, 2012 by PLB

[idiot_stimpy]

Relax, there is no need to worry.

 

You're blessed.

 

 

You need to be very careful now, very careful.

 

You need to be mindful to not hold a negative stance on what is happening to you.

 

Practice compassion.

 

Make a list of who you think you are, and also what goals you have and what you're doing to get there. Then believe in them completely.

 

Stay off the drugs if you have used them before.

[mike 134]

I wonder if you've used an energy trick ie kundalini to stop a chemical process in your head?

 

I don't do any tricks, except sending heat to the pelvis to supercharge the libido. The last couple of weeks I moved my back a lot carrying stuff, and messing with the back generally messes me up, but more often agitates me than anything else.

 

What do feel when you think about you have done and done in the past? Have you ever betrayed trust? Do you wish someone loved you when you know they never will?

 

I don't really feel anything about the past, which I find disturbing. Cause there is a lot of stuff I should have done differently, but my attitude now is, fuck it, whatever. No and no to the other two q's.

 

Extreme fatigue?

 

No I am not fatigued either. I find myself staying up later than I am used to, but I feel fine. In the last couple of weeks I have not missed a single day in the gym, and I don't feel tired even after strenuous activity.

 

You need to be mindful to not hold a negative stance on what is happening to you.

 

don't even get me started there lol

Edited December 26, 2012 by mike 134

[idiot_stimpy]

I don't do any tricks, except sending heat to the pelvis to supercharge the libido. The last couple of weeks I moved my back a lot carrying stuff, and messing with the back generally messes me up, but more often agitates me than anything else.

 

 

Can you see that if you do have kundalini syndrome, you have activated it yourself with this practice?

[mike 134]

I got the condition completely spontaneously and I never ever did any practices while I was normal. My libido dropped as a result of developing this disorder, but I also spontaneously developed the ability to send heat to most parts of my body. I discovered (accidentally) that I can restore my libido to the way it was when I was normal by sending heat to the pelvis, so I do this activity for a few minutes a day. I don't do anything else, and I have never done any drugs. I was stable for a couple of months, with only some minor symptoms. But lack of emotion really sucks!

[idiot_stimpy]

Maybe you are just older and more wise now?

 

Take up a new hobby that you can develop a passion for.

 

Maybe passion is lacking from your life.

[ShenLung]

Having no emotions .. how would you say you feel about this?

angry, sad, what?

[Birch]

Sad to say I didn't feel anything for the recent tragedy either. I thought that was really strange. I wanted to and I waited for the grief but it wasn't there. (I apologize to anyone reading this).

 

This may or may not have anything to do with 'kundalini'. However, yes I do recall a period of what I'd now refer to as 'grey' re emotions. Just all gone. It was well before any other 'stuff' that could be considered characteristic of 'kundalini'. The emotions kicked back in after that and they kicked my behind in the process.

[C T]

There is a difference between detachment (no other) and non-attachment (no self).

 

Here's a simple illustration: A person walks past a bird bath, pausing for a millisecond, notices that an ant, having fell into the bath, was making feeble attempts not to drown. Occupied with own thoughts in the background, he walks away, detachedly.

 

Another person walks by, notices the same ant, still struggling there, and without hesitation or mental drama, picks up the creature and puts it somewhere safe and dry. It just seemed the right thing to do at that particular moment, he reflected afterwards. In this instance, there was no expectation of reward, and he was not particularly puffed up over saving a small ant. It was something spontaneous, there was a meeting of minds, and the 'self' was very briefly suspended in that small unfolding which ensued.

 

This could perhaps clear up some confusion for some people over the notion of Buddhist non-attachment. Its really not about forsaking or giving up everything to the point of neglect. Non-attachment infers a state of mind whereby the one not attached would somehow know instinctively how to act to bring accord to any situation, and instigate a new direction in which the immediacy of a peaceful, harmonic outcome becomes quite apparent for all.

Edited December 26, 2012 by C T

[Harmonious Emptiness]

I could can share a meditation that will help you open the heart center and reconnect to your feeling toward the outside world, but you would have to have some patience and interest in meditation

[skydog]

.

Edited December 26, 2012 by sinansencer

[suninmyeyes]

Do something extreme few times a week that will get your adrenalin pumping. Try swimming in the cold lake/sea,bungee jumping etc..

Travel sowhere you never been to or do something you always wanted to do before you felt this way. Take up volounteering somwhere in the third world country (you can do it for free and even get payed for it) in a leper hospice or teaching underpriviliged kids English or help some eco project -- maybe somwhere where you could work with the earth A LOT, like gardening. This will help you forget, it will spin you out of your current loop and refersh your being with new vitality, plus helping out is always a good way to put ourselves in perspective.

[GrandmasterP]

You are concerned.

That's a good start.

Best to avoid worm eating contests and the explicitly gross too.

Those sorts of obscene spectacle can desensitise.

Lack of enthusiasm might also be something of a symptom of ageing so exploring new hobbies and interests or maybe learning a fresh cultivation might help.

A brisk walk through the countryside or a nice park never does any harm either, nature being a great natural healer.

[zanshin]

Sitting here having pie and coffee as I watched the worm eating contest, still finished, still want another piece. Tragedy last week, I cried a lot. Probably couple year ago would have felt the same as you, detached. Don't exactly understand what changed. I think media is so impersonal though, perhaps spending time with real people, nature, doing physical things. Even meditation can reinforce a sense of separateness. Are there things or people in your life that are causing you to perhaps subconsiously shut down and make walls as an adaptive reaction?

[三江源]

.

Edited July 29, 2015 by 三江源

[mike 134]

Hi ppl,

 

Thanks for the responses, I appreciate all the thoughtful stuff here from different perspectives.

 

I've personally been doing some thinking about my issues, and I think it is associated with the amygdala. This is important for emotional processing, and I suspect that the "kundalini syndrome" messed up my amygdala. I had periods of racing thoughts, restlessness, and actual heat in the head, and perhaps suffered some form of resulting neuronal damage.

[suninmyeyes]

Mike , take it easy, dont worry yourself too much . Even if you are physicaly ill, so what? Many of us have been extremly unwell for longer periods of time. Kundalini or not. Whatever -- do what you got to do best you can and learn to accept that life is not what you were thought it was and it hits you harder at times than any karate kick. Sometimes it leaves you bruised and unable to get up.

Learn to relax no matter what , being able to truly chill does not relate on how good life is.

Peace

Edited December 26, 2012 by suninmyeyes

[Aaron]

Mike,

 

Some things to be watchful for- are you having thoughts of harming others or yourself? Are you having sexual fantasies that are becoming increasingly disturbing to you? Have you recently had a traumatic event occur in your life? Do you view people as objects, or see them as being robotic in some way? If you find any of these things to be true, I'd recommend seeing a psychiatrist immediately. Certain people experience the onset of psychological disorders without any previous signs. Something to keep in mind, racing thoughts, restlessness, and emotional numbness are often the first signs of this. Also, I'm not a psychiatrist, so this isn't psychiatric advice, rather a list of the clinical criteria. I can only say that if I was experiencing these things I'd go to see a professional and recommend any friend talking about these things to do the same.

 

Aaron

Edited December 26, 2012 by Aaron

[三江源]

.

Edited July 29, 2015 by 三江源

[suninmyeyes]

love right back atchya!!

[mike 134]

Thx for the kind comment. No I'm not really ill right now, though things were way before before this damn kundalini syndrome crap started. I'm not sick but I'm not well, if that makes sense

 

Aaron, thx for your concerns. I have read about the common psychiatric disorders carefully and I don't have any of them. However....

 

Do you view people as objects, or see them as being robotic in some way?

 

I don't have this, but out of curiosity I ask you, what does that imply? What disorder is this associated with?

[d'avid]

Hi Mike

 

I think I know what you are talking about. My first impression was that your soul is calling you - to listen deeper within what really matters for your life. Other people eating worms, receiving more money, shooting pupils or a christmas party don't do such a difference to the zone of your concern - so why should you feel much about them just because other react like preprogrammed or for the sake of "socially correct" appearance.

 

If you allow yourself to feel empty and to realize that something undefinable is missing in your life, you might get in deeper contact with the one calling for you. I wish you to trust in that chance. There will be a kind of thirst again that guides you.

 

David

[GrandmasterP]

Autistic spectrum disorder perhaps?

(Viewing others as objects or somehow robotic).

Edited December 27, 2012 by GrandmasterP