Seeking Personal advice

[rainbow]

[Palmer]

[Trunk]

The enormous amounts of pressure to do well academically in this environment are brutal. ..

What I want to know is this: will the college I go to make my life significantly different?

ime, the goal of "top college" that you can reach is not helpful, for a lot of reasons. (I've been out of school for a couple of decades, btw.) Misc. thoughts:

 

1. You should not go to a school that is so difficult for you that it amounts to 4 yrs of brutality. It's counter productive to whatever you want to do after college.

 

2. Much of what gets people by is finding your own talents, your niche of what works for you, work-wise. My brother dropped out of city college, but he has this knack for big equipment, and building things. He's done well.

 

3. Most employers don't care what you majored in college; they only care that you graduated. (Excluding, of course, careers that really are education-dependent.)

 

Probably a jillion other hints that people here could think of.

[TwoTrees]

I've only been out of high school about 9 years myself, but started college courses in November of last year.

It is an attempt to relieving some of the financial problems I've had all of my life, and breaking from the stagnant pattern of my family in regards to ambition and ways of living.

Being otherwise 'fulfilled' and 'content' with the inner workings of my life have not been too challenging. I carry a constant sunny disposition nearly in an innate fashion, it seems. But the years of living in a 'starving artist' kind of way in regards to writing and the arts have worn kinda thin with me. Now, with a felony on my record the college was more like a means to 'buffer' it so that I can find a decent enough job on the market that I can carry with me no matter what state (or country, which is a near possibility) I'm living in, and that I can comfortably supplement the continuation of my traditions/regimens/hobbies/passions.

 

Working through tough times give you the fruits of unimaginable heights. But sometimes they are so subtle, there are some who do not even notice that they are there. Also you must be careful to find a way to balance out your being so that the stress and pressure do not wear you down to a point that will be too difficult to repair.

Find something you love to do, and get to it at any free moment. Try hard not to sacrifice it entirely. This can be revealed early on, or may take several years to discover. The delight is in making that discovery, and nurturing it whenever possible.

 

Hope this is helpful, and that you find a way to release your stresses.

Here you have found yourself in good company, I imagine.

 

-Michelle THTT

Edited January 12, 2007 by TwoTrees

[Cameron]

That's a pretty general question. What are you your interests? What area of the country/world? Do you have any career goals or are you trying to figure things out?

 

Of course in general it's probably good to go to the best college you can. If I could do my teenage years over honestly I would have busted my ass and tried to get into a top school. I didn't and am finally just getting my BA this year at age 31. I'll probably keep going and get a masters after that but I would have loved to have had all this done 5 years ago.

 

It's better to get things like school out of the way young IMO. You will have the rest of your life to explore stuff. If you pick the right school probably you can have alot of fun too, no?

 

ps. That said, I think my life has sort of worked out very nicely and I did learn alot of stuff in those years I wasn't going to school. However, I still say get it done sooner rather than later.

[sunshine]

First of all I'd like to address the "stress"-issue... this is were one needs to start before answering the rest... I suggest you learn things like Photoreading & EFT or similar... EFT can take the edge of the stress & the "emotional bees" (as Gary Craig ones called them) away (if it works for you... and if you start early enough you do not have to cope with too many nasty experiences as I have...)... PhotoReading (from learningstrategies) seems to work, although I myself haven't yet managed to get a hang of it... but I usually tend to wait with these things until I am in the middle of sh... and nothing wants to work anyway. If you are going to try it and get it to work, let me know... the beauty of it is that it can easily be added to ones usual reading style... what I never managed to do were mind maps... but some people seem to be pretty good at it. Nutrition is veeeeeeery important in stressful situations and proper intake of fluid. Do sports in order to get you body and mind into shape...

 

all these are things that if you start early enough and make into a habit can make your life a lot easier. If you have good friends all the better...

 

Regarding grades and what you learn:

had I known what I know now I probabyl would have approached school & learning differently. A lot of what you learn at school is simply bullsh... but there is so much you might really need. I was surprised actually how much there is... if you somehow manage to get yourself into the state of mind to view learning as a game for training your brain you would be well off...

 

regarding grades itself:

 

you never know where life leads you.

 

I had a friend at school who had highest marks in German language... so she applied for becoming a German language teacher and failed (according to them she wasn't good enough)... she is now happy Mom of two kids and can not see herself leading a different life...

 

As I finished school it was not possible for me to start medical training (I wasn't even interested in it at that time...). I started and finished sociology and meanwhile developed an interest for medicine. I wondered how to get in without the proper marks (as there is high concurrence for application) and found out that there is a certain percentage reserved for people who finished one university degree and manage to explain why they believe that both studies have a certain "bridge" between one another... as I had specialized in medical sociology that was easy...

 

I am telling you these "stories" in order to show that nobody knows what life holds for you. Marks might lead the life of some, bot not of others.

 

One thing is for sure: if you push yourself over the edge to get AAs: do you get them?

 

Usually one is too tired etc.

 

Try to develop the view of learning being a game and training for your brain in order to develop its capacities. Then it all should get easier. You see: as I had to learn the names,birth & death dates of kings of the last several centuries I could have puked. My teacher took it soooo serious while I hardly ever understood the necessity of it. I can not remember even one of them today... but today I would view the situation differently. I would , for myself, understand it as training of my memory... I assume I blocked myself already down there developing an aversion ding it, because I did not grasp the positive in it that it could have/be for me...

 

I'm repeating myself...

 

keep smiling

 

Harry

[Wayfarer64]

Some folks say what you don't know can't hurt you. I say what you don't know can't help you.

 

I was always a scholarly kid with subjects that interested me, but a poor student in my class-room studies.

 

It seems that with some time just thinking about what you really really want from this life, you may find a place to develope your interests into a way to make a living and be fullfilled.

 

Get to know yourself and your natural propensities. Then learn where these interests and skills may be best nurtured...Trying jobs on for size as it were is what my summers were always about. I worked every summer since I was 9. Very early on, I learned that I do not like working for other people, that is - having a boss.

 

In the 44 years I have been working, I have only had a boss some 45 weeks. But now, if I ever do want to work for someone else, there is little to induce them to hire me. I am too independent for most jobs to be offered my way now.

 

So keep your options open for as long as you need to look around and find your place to be the whole person of your potential's full streych...

[rainbow]

thans a alot everyone. I really like the idea of thinking of this as mental training because one of the reasons I was frustrated was because some of the information we are forced to learn will be forgotten and useless. I guess I wil have to find a balance where I am working hard enough to prevent regret later in life but I can still have fun.

 

Thanks,

Rainbow.

[Eric23]

You didn't mention what profession you are looking at. With that in mind, there are some fields, law for instance where a degree from an Ivy League school or Stanford will get you in a much higher bracket right away and set you up with a network that will pay dividends for the rest of your professional life. If that is the path you are trying to acheive, then the school will make a difference. However, there are many fields where a state university will be more than sufficient. I found that at the university level (state in my case), you will get out of it what you put in. For the most part you should have learned how to learn and the faculity is there to get you pointed in the right direction and answer questions. State universities are filled with wonderful professors doing top rate research. You will find them most helpful when you reach the junior and senior level classes. I taught an evening course in my profession at the local state university for 5 years. Based on the students in my class, my advise for the rest of your high school time would be to really buckle down on the basic core courses. Learn to write, get the math skills down. Now, what I've learned in the 25 years or so in the real work world is that once you get into your career, advancement will depend more on your "people" skills more than anything else. Competence and technical knowledge in your field will get you started, but those who can manage, motivate and sell make the big bucks. Best of luck and welcome to TTB, this is where the really fun and interesting part of life is.

[DentyDao]

[Lozen]

Two words: Shimer College

[Cameron]

You didn't mention what profession you are looking at. With that in mind, there are some fields, law for instance where a degree from an Ivy League school or Stanford will get you in a much higher bracket right away and set you up with a network that will pay dividends for the rest of your professional life. If that is the path you are trying to acheive, then the school will make a difference. However, there are many fields where a state university will be more than sufficient. I found that at the university level (state in my case), you will get out of it what you put in. For the most part you should have learned how to learn and the faculity is there to get you pointed in the right direction and answer questions. State universities are filled with wonderful professors doing top rate research. You will find them most helpful when you reach the junior and senior level classes. I taught an evening course in my profession at the local state university for 5 years. Based on the students in my class, my advise for the rest of your high school time would be to really buckle down on the basic core courses. Learn to write, get the math skills down. Now, what I've learned in the 25 years or so in the real work world is that once you get into your career, advancement will depend more on your "people" skills more than anything else. Competence and technical knowledge in your field will get you started, but those who can manage, motivate and sell make the big bucks. Best of luck and welcome to TTB, this is where the really fun and interesting part of life is.

 

 

Hi Eric. Just noticed your in Phoenix. I live in Scottsdale. PM me if you want.

 

cam

[Yoda]

I wouldn't sweat the grades and I would focus on having fun. I had a lot of fun in high school and I ended up getting Bs no matter how hard or how little I studied and somehow it all turned out well. In college, I turned this B attitude into a science by finding out exactly how little work I needed to put in in order to get the B. I learned how to "get the point" of a book or article without reading it (a handy skill) and to review my notes etc on a daily/weekly basis so I wouldn't have to cram later. By the end of my schooling, I could sense what questions would be on the test... you don't have to be a psychic either, it's easy to vibe out the teacher. There's never been a place in my life for resumes, bosses, grades, etc. Most taobums are like this and I'd bet you turn out that way too.

 

jmo, of course.

 

-Yoda

[thelerner]

How he ever got to be the leader of the Jedi with an attitude like that is anyones guess.

 

 

You've gotten some good advice here. I think it boils down to do your best, Work smarter, not just harder(teachers can be surprisingly helpful when asked), find a passion and play with it regularly.

 

Your not alone, high school is high stress, from the clicks to the 'What are you going to do for the rest of your life' to the "These are best years of your life".

 

Pretty much everyone is or was in the same boat. Life is easier when you have friends to help you deal with it, so don't ignore them when you're going through periods of angst.

 

 

 

Michael

[rainbow]

This has been fantastic advice. thanks a lot everyone. To answer your question, what I see myself doing later in life can be boiled down to one thing: I just want to Dilute the mysteries and misconceptions that drown our conception of reality. I dont know what that will entail but I know that my search for the truth will never end. Not even in this life. Taoism has given me a point of reference when adressing such things as quantum physics and chemistry. I try to meditate every night but time is scarse here.

 

If I can bridge the gap between modern western science (the frontier of quantum physics) and ancient eastern philosophy and shamanistic ideas then I will have completed my goals.

 

The issue in this day and age is that a letter A is more usefull to an admissions office than my eloquency or passion and soul.

 

Thanks again everyone for listening. You are truly a great group of people.

[Japhy Ryder]

Rainbow:

 

The best reason to attend college is to gain convenient access to the people, information, materials, and opportunities you need to achieve your goals. Your grades are essential only to the extent that they allow you that access. thelerner's advice to "work smarter, not harder" is excellent. Learning how you learn most efficiently and pleasurably is fundamental to that process, and everybody's different--most students don't learn the way their teachers do. Renee Mallon-Masters' book You Are Smarter Than You Think! has a series of self-assessments that will show you how YOU best receive, reorganize, and retain information. This book will help you get the most out of your "study" time, leaving you more time and energy for your most important learning: the learning you do on your own terms. One of my students last semester (I teach at a university) did that. He told me it changed his life.

 

Don't be in a hurry to start college immediately after high school, either. Considering all the stress you're feeling right now, and your obvious desire to pursue learning in your own ways, you may want to take a year or so off after graduating high school. Do what you want to do during that time. Travel, work, read, write. Meditate and cultivate your energy. Do what you enjoy, and don't try to figure out your entire life. Try to spend time interracting with people who are living the life you want for yourself, even if they're "famous." Correspond with them--email makes it easy to initiate dialogues. Pursue opportunities to work with them, in whatever capacity. Take risks. Don't be afraid of failure--or of success (most "adults" are terrified of both) Don't wait for anybody's permission to start living the life you want. That way, you'll be equipped to consider attending college as a means to that end, not an end in itself.

 

Enjoy the ride.

[Wayfarer64]

Hey there Japhy Ryder -

 

Your on site name caught my eye and I had to laugh! Thanks for keeping the spirit of JK & the pseudoname of GS alive and well... I wish more folks here read the book! Pat

[Japhy Ryder]

You're very welcome, Wayfarer64. Kerouac's writing was a real touchstone for me as a teenager. Dharma Bums is still my favorite book of his, but I fondly remember reading long sections of Visions of Cody aloud, just getting drunk on the words. Qigong helps me remind myself that I can't fall off the mountain, however daunting it seems.

[QiDr]

My sixteen year old son is going into his senior year of High School and has a similar point of view and the same questions. My sage advise to him is, even though things seem to suck in the world of secondary ed, if he loses momentum now, it may be some time before he is able to get back in the swing of academia. My suggestion is, keep doing something, a trade or technical school can be a great thing for a year or two, it can give him some skills that can help him get a little financial stability and help him decide if something more academic is what he wants.

My wife and I are lifetime learners, we both continue to explore every thing from ecological studies, language to alternative medicine and philosophy. Formal and informal study for life keeps the mind clear and the heart free.

Good luck with whatever decision you make.

[Lozen]

My alma mater, Shimer College, specifically looks for students with low grades and relatively high test scores, or people who show a lot of potential but didn't exactly thrive in their local version of Columbine. Anyone who likes to read and think and doesn't want to sit in a lecture hall is a perfect candidate. Then you get to read original source readings--classic lit and philosophy and discuss it around octagonal tables. It was amazing, I miss it.

[Leidee]

School sux!

 

I graduated 13 years ago. My main problem was that nothing taught there was interesting enough for me that I would bother taking the time to study. Many hours spent in the school counsellors chair telling me how I was underachieving and me telling them - "Give me something interesting to do then!"...

 

Formal education is definitely a time delineated concept - so much to learn in such a small space of time. Week 1 learn this, Week 2 learn that...etc etc. So much emphasis placed on providing the "useful" tools. The whole system reeks of pressure - pressure of time tables, pressure to care, pressure to decide your future, pressure to do well...ARGH! No wonder people throw their hands up in despair!

 

Also, it must be hard to teach and actually make a connection with so many students in one room. In all my years at school, I can only remember one teacher who really made an impression and I found out a few years later that he was a raving alcholic! (Maybe that is why he could see outside the square and get a bit fired up about things )

 

If you have a burning desire Rainbow, then follow it. At your age...the possibilities of following your desire without having to still achieve at school are minimal. So, you may as well suck it up as best you can and get on with it in that regard. (Harsh but realistic...sorry, sweets!)

 

What works for me is to always try to have a little bit of my day where I can foster my dream/desires and start building the network that will eventually be my support for when I am ready to throw myself right in

 

Just my feelings on the matter. I suspect, Rainbow, that whatever you do that arises from true desire and inspiration - you will achieve Don't worry about *how* - the universe will take care of that.

 

Blessings

Leidee

[Lozen]

I think an education helps. It's always something to fall back on and something nobody can take away from you. It at least shows you are capable of learning, and it's a prerequisite for a lot of jobs. There are also automatic pay increases in some jobs depending on your level of education.

[thelerner]

I don't think I learned a whole lot in college(Business major, Comp. Sci minor-specialty in vacuum tubes& punch cards), but it gave me a safe place to think and avoid a boring 9 to 5 job flipping burgers. As a 42 year old I realize now how immature I was on many levels at 18 to 22.

 

The 'Universe will Provide for those with Passion' paradigm is nice, but I've seen starry eyed kids and adults fail because they didn't have plan B. College can give you a plan B, and time to figure things out. If your parents will give you a hand paying, then take advantage of it. If you'll be paying yourself, do it, but watch the $$'s, research aids and grants, and have a major where you can earn back the money.

 

One of my roommates had to go to graduate school because he owed so much money on his undergrad degree that he felt he'd never be able to pay it back. Let it ride was his philosophy, and it worked out for him. I have another friend who majored in philosophy. 'Why?' we'd ask him. 'Because I like it' was his answer.

 

He ended up going back to school for a teaching degree, but has no regrets about 4 years spent chasing philosophy. He has a nice house, nice family and 2 1/2 months off a year. Not bad.

 

 

 

Yada yada

 

 

Michael

[Leidee]

I don't believe I said the universe will provide. Nor did I say school didn't have a place - I just said it sux The institution of schooling sux...not the concept of education. And whilst there is a level of empowerment in learning, there is a similar level of disempowerment within the school system as there are such restrictions on what a student (particularly in highschool) can and cannot learn.

 

What I *did* definitely say is don't worry about the "hows". How a thing is going to come about and the "universe will provide" are not related in any way. Or, maybe, the universe will provide the potential of the "hows" but you have to grab it with both hands to make it happen.

 

Making philsophical policy on the run...I am worse than a government department.

 

If you have passion in your life, opportunities which other people simply don't see, are clearer to you. You act with inspired thought/action. It is the fire in your belly which helps you to recognise all possibility. Maybe it is lateral thinking...I don't know.

 

To attempted clarification,

Leidee

Edited January 18, 2007 by Leidee

[Lozen]

A lot of teachers get frustrated in the school system too, and stop caring about their jobs or reaching out to people that really need them. I think it's pretty hard to go into a room full of 100 kids and do all the things that teachers are expected to do: instill them with pride in their ethnicity, observe them for signs of abuse, monitor disruptive behavior and inappropriate language, fight the war on drugs and STDs, make sure nobody has weapons, teach them how to be good citizens and balance a checkbook, give the girls in the class 50 percent of your attention, make sure they pass tests and classes even if they never go to school or do their homework, I know we all have shitty teacher stories, but how many of us had teachers in our (broken) education system that helped change our lives? I know I did.

 

Can every person be saintly enough to connect one on one with every student without falling back on things like raising their voice? Darn it, there are people out there that are trying!

 

I had a hard time with some ELL kids I volunteer with (after school), and I feel like I'm pretty much bending over backwards to come up with group-centered activities that will get their attention and be FUN while teaching them how to read and write.

 

And whether or not you think the institution of schooling "sux," it's still pretty helpful in this world today to have the ability to read and write. It will help students once they leave school and no longer have restrictions on what they cannot learn.

 

I know a lot of people with passion in their life who try not to worry about the hows and are homeless. Sometimes these little things like the ability to read and write and even that slip of paper from an oppressive educational institution can help get someone off the streets.