Suppressed/repressed anger.

[Birch]

PythagoreanFL.

 

What you said does remind me of a few experiences. I won't get into them. However I had the experience of banging my shin really hard and a skilled energy worked said it was because of anger. I wondered why I would injure myself if I was angry at someone else.

 

 

So when you say "So a couple weeks ago I sprained my wrist using the bow saw too strongly -- but the real reason was repressed anger.

 

 

A couple months ago I sprained my left knee from working but again the real reason was repressed anger." could you say more about that?

 

 

Also "The liver is how we can build up power - but we have to be careful" what do you mean? What do we have to be careful of? I have an idea that at this point, the liver (and I'd put it very squarely into the 3rd chakra area) is very involved in power, power struggles, sense of self and is a fulcrum of sorts. But that's my subject POV of it.

 

Thanks!

 

Edit: formatting

Edited January 27, 2013 by -K-

[de_paradise]

I'd like to throw in a few observations here.

 

The OP's presenting issue is not present anger issues, but he requires release from the past anger or negative emotions that are still trapped in his body.

 

Now many people can give advice on how anger is toxic, and to stay away from it, but the danger is like the that of the monk who thinks he can't allow himself to show the negative feelings and therefore represses them still. Suddenly he finds himself getting triggered, and then thinking, "damn back to the drawing board. " Or like those religious nuts who show a smiling face but are rotting inside. Theres a disconnect from the conscious mind's desire to be wonderful and balanced, and the body's lifelong conditioning.

 

Exercise, meditations, yoga etc. take years. Its a long process. Even Kundalini takes her time to get at these issues. Its been 5 years of raging kundalini and full-on cultivation and diet for me, I know there are lots of buried toxic emotional pockets in my physical and psychic bodies. I know that because I come home from living abroad in my saintly splendor, and suddenly I'm faced with all the triggers, the people and spatial anchors of my "past"

 

If you want to shed the deep toxic emotions, you have to allow them to come up, firstly. And then when they are up, thats when you can go into them and start to identify the contributing factors, such as memories, people, connected emotions. And during that time, you can breath and start releasing these emotions.

 

So therefore, its good to get into situations where your " buttons" will get pushed, as long as you can understand how to isolate the feelings, and let them pass through your body. Other ways are to delberately access the memories that are related to the anger, and instead of ignoring, repressing, or telling yourself that you are better than that now because you do tai chi, but to stay with the memory, parse it. Find the location in the body of the feeling, and then amplify it, with the objective of releasing. In the hypnotherapy that I practise, thats how I would guide a client. But you can do it yourself if you just become very very good at detecting feelings, being honest, and giving yourself permission to express and release them.

Edited January 27, 2013 by de_paradise

[voidisyinyang]

PythagoreanFL.

 

What you said does remind me of a few experiences. I won't get into them. However I had the experience of banging my shin really hard and a skilled energy worked said it was because of anger. I wondered why I would injure myself if I was angry at someone else.

 

 

So when you say "So a couple weeks ago I sprained my wrist using the bow saw too strongly -- but the real reason was repressed anger.

 

 

A couple months ago I sprained my left knee from working but again the real reason was repressed anger." could you say more about that?

 

 

Also "The liver is how we can build up power - but we have to be careful" what do you mean? What do we have to be careful of? I have an idea that at this point, the liver (and I'd put it very squarely into the 3rd chakra area) is very involved in power, power struggles, sense of self and is a fulcrum of sorts. But that's my subject POV of it.

 

Thanks!

 

Edit: formatting

 

Well the energy goes from the kidney to the liver to the heart -- that's the process of turning jing into chi energy.

 

So the energy has to be built up and converted -- for the liver from anger to wisdom which is the green energy.

 

But the heart on its own does not know good from bad so if there is a lot of liver anger -- it can be "righteous anger" that then turns into chi energy of the heart - and this chi energy of the heart can be dangerous to others.

 

So the brain has to guide the energy with good intentions.

 

For example - when I sprained my wrist I was working the bow saw -- but last summer I had anger when I was working the pick axe.

 

As for the anger being repressed or not - I just mean that instead of directing the anger at its source I just bottle the anger up.

 

So I know it's bottled up but I don't know well enough to go meditate to transform the anger - and so that can cause damage.

 

So for example of the chi energy builds up in the heart and sticks there it can cause imbalances - too much over-excitement, etc.

 

So that's why the chi has to be stored in the lower tan tien.

 

O.K. last summer I was working the pick axe -- and I was sublimating my anger energy -- but I was focusing on the source of the anger -- only using the pick axe to take it out -- so it turned into chi energy and then it became telepathic communication.

 

I describe it in my blog -- http://fulllotusqigong.blogspot.com/2012/07/revisiting-my-telepathy-experiences-and.html

 

On telepathy with a relative of mine -- but that was an example of how I channeled my anger and I didn't harm myself - but it turned into chi energy and then created telepathy.

[Birch]

Well the energy goes from the kidney to the liver to the heart -- that's the process of turning jing into chi energy.

 

So the energy has to be built up and converted -- for the liver from anger to wisdom which is the green energy.

 

But the heart on its own does not know good from bad so if there is a lot of liver anger -- it can be "righteous anger" that then turns into chi energy of the heart - and this chi energy of the heart can be dangerous to others.

 

So the brain has to guide the energy with good intentions.

 

For example - when I sprained my wrist I was working the bow saw -- but last summer I had anger when I was working the pick axe.

 

As for the anger being repressed or not - I just mean that instead of directing the anger at its source I just bottle the anger up.

 

So I know it's bottled up but I don't know well enough to go meditate to transform the anger - and so that can cause damage.

 

So for example of the chi energy builds up in the heart and sticks there it can cause imbalances - too much over-excitement, etc.

 

So that's why the chi has to be stored in the lower tan tien.

 

O.K. last summer I was working the pick axe -- and I was sublimating my anger energy -- but I was focusing on the source of the anger -- only using the pick axe to take it out -- so it turned into chi energy and then it became telepathic communication.

 

I describe it in my blog -- http://fulllotusqigong.blogspot.com/2012/07/revisiting-my-telepathy-experiences-and.html

 

On telepathy with a relative of mine -- but that was an example of how I channeled my anger and I didn't harm myself - but it turned into chi energy and then created telepathy.

 

Thanks PythagoreanFL! Interesting.

 

I have other questions about how 'heart energy' can be dangerous to others. And what about directing it to its source (which is complicated, I think because where is the actual source?)

The green light, yes 'seen' it (internally during pre-sleep or as part of a dream). It's definitely a visual experience.

I have some subjective experiences of 'telepathy' that could be confused with just knowing what a given person tends to do. A 'hunch'. Not so clear cut.

[suninmyeyes]

 

...

So therefore, its good to get into situations where your " buttons" will get pushed, as long as you can understand how to isolate the feelings, and let them pass through your body.

...

This is true. It is like volountary entering our darkness and learning to swim in it , instead of drowning .

[voidisyinyang]

Thanks PythagoreanFL! Interesting. I have other questions about how 'heart energy' can be dangerous to others. And what about directing it to its source (which is complicated, I think because where is the actual source?) The green light, yes 'seen' it (internally during pre-sleep or as part of a dream). It's definitely a visual experience. I have some subjective experiences of 'telepathy' that could be confused with just knowing what a given person tends to do. A 'hunch'. Not so clear cut.

 

http://fulllotusqigong.blogspot.com/2012/10/maintaining-state-of-listening-but-not.html

 

I have Yan Xin quotes that get into that -- just scroll down on that blog post.

 

Basically the energy is "bidirectional" so if there is an error of intention then the mind can reverse the damage.

 

Actually the lower tan tien is not a physical place - so storing the energy there - eventually other physical bodies are created, etc. Yeah but it is an endless process of energy creation from impersonal consciousness going into the Emptiness as spacetime, etc.

 

the liver stores the incorporeal spirit which then goes out of the eyes when they are open.

 

So by immersing that energy into the water energy it steams it into the chi energy.

 

Otherwise the jing liver energy turns into the incorporeal spirit energy but then leaks out of the eyes -- dissipates.

[三江源]

I guess this is why we read someone by the look from their eyes. we are checking out their spirit in one of its most readily perceptible ways.

[Ansijia]

Once this person was really mad at me and I could sense their anger -- even though they tried to hide it in nice words in an email.

 

The energy of the email was strong anger even though the words of the email were nice.

 

So I took in that anger energy and I fasted for three days in full lotus and finally the anger was transformed into a huge internal erotic bliss that shot up my spine.

 

So anger is not bad in itself - if it can be transformed and used properly.

 

It' s a great example of transforming anger into something good, thanks for sharing. I understand that energy by itself is not good or bad, we give it the meaning. Energy can be used in a productive way and I'm interested how in practice alter that polarity, perhaps should start in my mind.

 

 

[Ansijia]

Cleansing with qigong.

 

no 'deeper' method available.

 

Hi Cat, can you please give an example on how to perform that cleansing with qigong? thanks!!

[voidisyinyang]

It' s a great example of transforming anger into something good, thanks for sharing. I understand that energy by itself is not good or bad, we give it the meaning. Energy can be used in a productive way and I'm interested how in practice alter that polarity, perhaps should start in my mind.

 

Yeah I still do this -- I suck up people's anger and they suck up my chi energy -- and then I go sit in full lotus meditation and then their anger is extra energy that I transform into chi energy.

 

Umm but qigong master Jim Nance says not to even think like that -- because really it's just about going into the Emptiness. Yeah he says I need to build up my energy so that people can not even sense it and so then they can not take my energy all the time. haha. I think this means to have the third eye fully opened. Jim said it takes a lot of work to get to that level.

Edited February 12, 2013 by pythagoreanfulllotus

[adept]

Thanks for all this Drew. You're blog is fantastic by the way.

[johndoe2012]

.

Edited August 18, 2013 by chris d

[Ansijia]

yes, I came to know that I'm performance perfectionist and the roots are deep, all these wrong perceptions of ourselves are shaped throughout the childhood

Currently reading

 

Prisoners of Hate: The Cognitive Basis of Anger, Hostility, and Violence

 

http://www.amazon.com/Prisoners-Hate-Cognitive-Hostility-Violence/dp/0060932007/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1360686591&sr=1-1&keywords=prisoners+of+hate

Pretty good to reflect on your behavior and experience in daily life.

 

Also maybe this site could be helpful

 

http://futurevisions.org/eq_bs.htm

 

You might want to look at "mental filter - we dwell on the bad event and let it discolor our entire view of life, a little like the drop of ink that discolors a glass of water" as there is a weakness there.

 

and

 

Irrational Idea 3 - Certain people are bad, wicked, or villainous and they should be severely blamed and punished for their sins.

 

Performance perfectionism: I must never fail or make a mistake.

 

also weaknesses for you.

[Ansijia]

Yeah I still do this -- I suck up people's anger and they suck up my chi energy -- and then I go sit in full lotus meditation and then their anger is extra energy that I transform into chi energy.

 

Umm but qigong master Jim Nance says not to even think like that -- because really it's just about going into the Emptiness. Yeah he says I need to build up my energy so that people can not even sense it and so then they can not take my energy all the time. haha. I think this means to have the third eye fully opened. Jim said it takes a lot of work to get to that level.

 

thanks! i'm really curious to know HOW? how do you transform it while meditating if I may ask? Do you observe that anger, or yourself, or just let it all go, or what?

Edited February 13, 2013 by Ansijia

[voidisyinyang]

thanks! i'm really curious to know HOW? how do you transform it while meditating if I may ask? Do you observe that anger, or yourself, or just let it all go, or what?

 

Yeah it's a deep psychophysiological experience.

 

So I always feel a magnetic bliss in the center of my skull and when I sit in full lotus then my lower body emotional energy goes up into my skull to turn into chi energy.

 

So if I have my eyes closed this works much better as that "turns the light around" of the spirit energy otherwise leaving the body via the eyes.

 

But sometimes I just sit in full lotus and read, or watch t.v., or at the computer, etc.

 

Anyway so I can feel the different organs get cleared out.

 

For example once I was in B.K. in full lotus reading and a big Native American man walked in, ordered food, was on the other side of the room and when he looked at me - his energy just was transmitted into me - strong anger energy. My liver got real hot. I just noticed him staring at me out of the corner of my eye. I didn't dare turn my head -- I just kept reading in full lotus and feeling my liver burning hot so I knew he was having all this anger towards me.

 

So then I "flexed" my pineal gland and I transmitted energy back to him as chi energy and so when that happens it creates like a energy vaccum in my brain so then the lower body negative emotion energy is sucked up and transformed. Oh yeah that dude actually came over to me and said: Thank you! It was really mind blowing as I had never seen him before.

 

So then my neck pulsates and the skull makes cracking noises and this is the arteries and nerves pulsating the jing energy.

 

So I can feel my right side vagus nerve connecting down to my reproductive area and so what happens is that the negative emotional energy of the organs -- like anger of the liver or fear of the kidney or worry of the pancreas or sadness of the lungs -- all of that needs to be transformed into the positive energy before it can be turned into chi energy.

 

So then this transformation may take a while but as Freud said - it's all based on repressed libido and so when the positive energy transformation occurs it happens through an internal orgasm via the vagus nerve.

 

So this happens after an hour of full lotus -- the initial internal orgasm vagus nerve.

 

There's an article on the Qigong Institute by this lady who said she discovered she could just activate internal orgasms when she meditated. So this is the same thing.

 

But again this is just preliminary jing energy and also it doesn't turn into chi energy unless the mind is emptied out - but what is happening at this point with the internal orgasm is that the left side vagus nerve is then activating the heart center as the oxytocin love bliss energy.

 

So it's kind of like the MCO or small universe -- the jing energy then goes down the front of the body and the lower tan tien gets hot and that is one cycle -- at a 2 hour meditation -- and so that creates some chi energy but mainly it exorcises out the bad emotional energy.

 

So when the left side vagus nerve is pulsating this actually exorcises or clears out the left side of the skull prefrontal cortex - I can feel the blood and energy -- neurohormones as neurotransmitters -- pulsating and cracking open the skull cavity on the left side of the skull and this empties out the language center which until then had been stuck on the lower emotional blockage.

 

Oh yeah I don't have to "flex" my pineal gland for this process to happen -- sometimes I just sit in full lotus and let my thoughts wander and try to ignore them -- sometimes I'll fall asleep in full lotus -- sometimes I do "japa" or internal mantra of the I-thought or the six word chant - Ohm Mani Padme Hum. Sometimes I do the small universe exercise in full lotus or sometimes I visualize the sun in the third eye or I visualize the sun in the lower tan tien. But the main priority is to sit in full lotus with the eyes closed -- I usually take a break at an hour for bathroom or else I adjust my legs.

 

But actually the best practice combines the standing active exercises and the small universe and the self concentration -- like a four hour session with alternating the techniques - I do the http://springforestqigong.com practice.

Edited February 13, 2013 by pythagoreanfulllotus