INDULGING YOUR EGO

[SEEKER OF TRUTH]

Nothing cuts me off faster, from inner peace, than indulging my ego. Seeing it in others is easy, seeing it in myself - more difficult.

 

I think the ultimate goal is to be completely free of ego, isn't it? How do we do it? Complete silence? They say, those that know, will never say. Those that don't know, well, you can never shut them up.

 

I have to say that the less I say, the better off I am. When I start trying to over explain myself that's when ego takes over. Sort of like now...... What do you think?

[Failed Save]

Personally, I think shutting down the ego entirely is not beneficial. I am a human being, and I am selfish by nature. Is this wrong? Is this a weakness? No, I do not think so. In fact, I believe everything we do is done with the self in mind, in some form or another. Even being generous is selfish, because it makes you feel good about yourself.

 

But I do believe we can easily put too much focus on the mask that is our ego, and not enough stock in the face behind the mask. To clarify my position, I believe the ego is important so, realistically, you don't get stepped on by your enemies or those who would seek to take advantage of you. But if you focus on beefing up the ego and not beefing up yourself, then you run the risk of protecting yourself with an illusory suit of armor... instead of a real suit of armor.

 

Figuratively speaking, that is. =D

 

However, I wish to say that I am not a Taoist, and my philosophy of life runs contrarry to "going with the flow."

 

"Peace is Death! Pursue Conflict!" (First Rule of Nine, Draco Mortose)

[Failed Save]

What I should have added to my previous post was...

 

I feel that you should induldge your ego! But do it honestly. Don't ever think you are greater than what you are, because you are setting yourself up for failure. And it all hinges on brutal self honesty. Lie to other people all you want, but the moment you begin lying to yourself and fall victim to denial of your failures, you've done what most people refer to as inflated your ego. It's puffed up and stretched, and can easily burst at the slightest poke.

 

"It's not braggin' if you can do it!" (?)

[thetaoiseasy]

There is no use in denying self, unless you mean to deny self-interest.

[SEEKER OF TRUTH]

"It's not braggin' if you can do it!" (?)

 

I wonder if it might depend on the context. Maybe humbly stating a fact about something is not indulging. I think the key may be in being humble though. But I guess it really depends on what your beliefs are, as to whether or not indulging your ego is harmful to the path you've chosen.

Edited January 29, 2013 by SEEKER OF TRUTH

[Flolfolil]

find a way to do both and you wont have to worry which way is better

[SEEKER OF TRUTH]

There is no use in denying self, unless you mean to deny self-interest.

 

I see.

Edited January 29, 2013 by SEEKER OF TRUTH

[Vanir Thunder Dojo Tan]

what if self is at conflict with self?
Personal problems I do not want surfacing, and yet...

[Cat Pillar]

what if self is at conflict with self?

Personal problems I do not want surfacing, and yet...

 

 

 

I would say that it is not your "self" that is in conflict, but rather ideas and concepts about/inside yourself are in conflict.

 

I've had some good results lately in handling personal problems by investigating the assumptions that underlie them, and questioning whether those assumptions are objectively true.

 

I haven't found a single objectively true assumption underlying my personal problems yet. Doesn't mean I'm completely rid of them, but it does help to take the sting out and undermines the perpetual energy the conflicting thought patterns get through repression.

 

If your thoughts don't have space to breathe, they don't have space to leave.

 

Just my opinion.

[Vanir Thunder Dojo Tan]

yeah, I have tried to reason with myself what is really necessary, but nothing is making heads or tails in my skull or (romance)heart...

[Cat Pillar]

It's not really about reasoning, though. It's more about looking at the pillars of your worldview and picking away at them.

 

I can't really make sense of my own personal issues in a rational way, but I can rob them of their power by recognizing that I don't have to "resolve" them in the conventional sense of coming up with solutions or explanations. I guess that's the hard part about it...instead of using another thought or concept to mitigate the problem thoughts/concepts, there's a recognition that the problem thought itself doesn't have an objective basis in reality (i.e., your current direct experience) - denying it a foothold in your reality, it is free to float through your being like a cloud.

 

I hear what you're saying about romance, that's a tough one that I struggle with a lot too. All I can say is don't believe everything you think or feel - accept that these feelings or thoughts are there, allow them space to breathe, recognize that RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, those things only have the reality you allow them in your mind.

 

Whatever concepts you have about yourself are just that; concepts. Concepts don't dictate the truth. Truth dictates the truth.

 

My best wishes to you.

[Vanir Thunder Dojo Tan]

ing away at them, isn't that reasoning??? OR maybe I have only seen it that way in spite of it being more applicable to "the age of reason" misconceptions?

What can I say? The "conventional" never held water in my mind, so I was always whittling away at everything I experienced...



The thing I could never whittle down is that... these feelings are present, there is nothing I can do to stop them from being there, nor is there anything I can do to genuinely ignore them... they are alive beings their own, not mine to control, yet I have no consent to host many of the attached feelings.... I truly do not see myself as being the one who is attached to the thoughts and feelings but that they are attached to me, begging for attention that I express them all...



but to be.... so many conflicting people... how can I EITHER OR express any one of them without the overwhelming influx of others or just ignore them all altogether?

Edited January 29, 2013 by Northern Avid Judo Ant

[Edward M]

Now, I haven't done this.. but i hear from someone who has done this and has got somewhere, that it isn't about killing the ego, it is about purifying it through a retraining based on wisdom and understanding.

Basically the more you understand about your own psychology, and the deeper the level of understanding e.g from the heart, then the more you will see through the ignorance of the ego.

 

This all involves dealing with ones stuff and not taking the easy route of projecting it onto others. That in itself takes a lot of heart felt understanding to do.

 

I feel making some way through the various jhanna's would help with that.. see gerard's post in the celibacy thread.

 

Peace

[GrandmasterP]

Nothing cuts me off faster, from inner peace, than indulging my ego. Seeing it in others is easy, seeing it in myself - more difficult.

 

I think the ultimate goal is to be completely free of ego, isn't it? How do we do it? Complete silence? They say, those that know, will never say. Those that don't know, well, you can never shut them up.

 

I have to say that the less I say, the better off I am. When I start trying to over explain myself that's when ego takes over. Sort of like now...... What do you think?

........

If one buys into that 'ego' idea then the 'id' has to be taken into account too and possibly indulging the id now and again might be fun.

I'm not so sure 'ego' as an idea isn't fairly recent and possibly psychotherapeutic in origin.

Could be wrong. Do know in our own field that when I was training to teach 'left and right' brain theories were all the fashion but since tomography came in and brain activity can be seen along with research done with stroke survivors, left and right brain ideas have been discredited in the academy.

You still hear them being used as a shorthand to describe a personality type and maybe 'ego' serves a similar purpose, but one is as well served by calling a car a 'pip pip', it's just words and, if those words don't accurately reflect that which they claim to represent; then they are devoid of meaning beyond that which the user thereof chooses to ascribe to them.

One person's 'egotist' might well be another's guru.

Edited January 29, 2013 by GrandmasterP

[SEEKER OF TRUTH]

........

If one buys into that 'ego' idea then the 'id' has to be taken into account too and possibly indulging the id now and again might be fun.

I'm not so sure 'ego' as an idea isn't fairly recent and possibly psychotherapeutic in origin.

Could be wrong. Do know in our own field that when I was training to teach 'left and right' brain theories were all the fashion but since tomography came in and brain activity can be seen along with research done with stroke survivors, left and right brain ideas have been discredited in the academy.

You still hear them being used as a shorthand to describe a personality type and maybe 'ego' serves a similar purpose, but one is as well served by calling a car a 'pip pip', it's just words and, if those words don't accurately reflect that which they claim to represent; then they are devoid of meaning beyond that which the user thereof chooses to ascribe to them.

One person's 'egotist' might well be another's guru.

Interesting, especially that last part and sadly, I have to agree with it.

 

What is painfully obvious to some, is just basic daily mode of operation, to others and there is really no way to prove or disprove which way is best, or right.

 

I know which gives me serenity and which doesn't, so I guess I know which is best for me. Acceptance of the differences, is probably the only way to keep a hold of that serenity though. I tend to forget that part, a lot.

[idiot_stimpy]

If the self is false, why indulge in Mara/Delusion?

[三江源]

Nothing cuts me off faster, from inner peace, than indulging my ego. Seeing it in others is easy, seeing it in myself - more difficult.

 

I think the ultimate goal is to be completely free of ego, isn't it? How do we do it? Complete silence? They say, those that know, will never say. Those that don't know, well, you can never shut them up.

 

I have to say that the less I say, the better off I am. When I start trying to over explain myself that's when ego takes over. Sort of like now...... What do you think?

I dont think its that 'they will never say' just that they cant say.. its something we have to put up with not being "told."

 

SIlence is good if its internal, not just external..

[SEEKER OF TRUTH]

I dont think its that 'they will never say' just that they cant say.. its something we have to put up with not being "told."

 

SIlence is good if its internal, not just external..

Yeah, the inner silence in the midst of unsavoriness, thanks for the reminder, that's an easy one to forget.

 

I'm just grateful you can't go to jail for what you think. Not that I'm always having felonious thoughts, but I've been known to entertain a few now and then - most are traffic related.