The Three Treasures

[Marblehead]

I had a difficult decision to make this morning. You will see what I am talking about if you take the time to read this post.

 

As most of us know, there is what is called The Trhee Treasures in Taoism:

Love (Most often translated as Compassion)

Frugality, and

Not wanting to be first in the world.

 

There is an ongoing thread on this board that contains words of hate.

 

I think it is sad that any of us, and especially myself, would speak speak of hate and hatred of others. I think it should be avoided at all costs, and refuse to allow feeling the emotion of hate.

 

Yesterday I failed. I got caught up in a discussion that was filled with hate. I felt the emotion of hate.

 

I did manage to stop yesterday. Too late, yes. This morning I still feel the residue of this hatred.

 

The decision I had to make was whether or not to log on and post this morning. I came to the board earlier and then logged off without making a post.

 

The name of this board is The Tao Bums. And here I am; I can't even hold to all three of the treasures. Sure, we can say that I am only human. I don't accept that as justification. I can easily forgive others. Forgiving myself is far more difficult. During these last couple days I have been a hypocrite. How sad is that?

 

Please understand, I am not looking for advice here. I know what the problem is. I know how to eliminate the problem. But putting goals into action is very difficult. And following through to the end is even harder.

 

More than anything else, the reason that I started this thread is to let you all know that I am still fallible. I too can lose the Way of Tao. But I can return anytime I am ready to do so. And so can anyone else.

 

Now please excuse me as I have work to do.

 

[Moonbar]

... well then ... we are all guilty.

[Marblehead]

... well then ... we are all guilty.

Thank you for the kind and simple response. Acknowledging that there is a problem is the first step in the problem solving process.

[Stosh]

Give yourself as much a break as you would give somebody else ,

(about now and whats done and what will be even yet)

not doing so is a waste of time.

 

I have to keep reminding myself that what I consider ' play ' or ' fair retribution'

isnt universal , I get grumpy and let a bit of it fly around

, but like a squall that burns itself out real quick

there is an aftermath I didnt intend

Old habits die hard , and since I dont believe in "grace" ,

I figure I just have to live down what Ive done or said , and try to recalibrate

Its my conviction that there is a tipping point I need to notice , when things are going to go south

Im usually wrapped up at the time which makes it difficult to see, but I think it is always there.

Ps dont label yourself as a hypocrite either ,

If the left hand may have said something the right hand didnt see at the time ..So what. yesterday is gone

and we all have fresh boo-boos to make

[flowing hands]

Dealing with others is sometimes our greatest test. Dealing with ourselves perhaps even a bigger one! We all fail, without failure how can there ever be growth and success!

 

Learn from your mistakes and move forward.

[9th]

Excess of the great means there is an excess of yang energy. As for the qualities of the hexagram, above is lake, joyous, and below is wind, entering. Going along with what is inside, delighting in externals, following what one desires, when happiness culminates it produces grief. In the body of the hexagram, inside are four yangs and outside are two yins; yang exceeds yin, and yin does not come up to yang—therefore it is called excess of the great.

This hexagram represents harmonious blending of the medicinal substances, in which fullness requires use of emptiness. It follows on the previous hexagram nurturance of the great. In nurturance of the great, one is strong yet can stop and be still; stilling strength, not letting yang energy get too excessive, is properly the means to nurture strength.

In spiritual alchemy, the path of the gold elixir, we take two times eight ounces of the polar energies and congeal them into an embryo; it requires that the great and small be undamaged, and both realms be complete. If yang energy is too strong and yin energy too weak, then yin and yang are not in harmony, and you lose the path of continual renewal; when yin culminates there will be decay, and when yang culminates there will be deterioration—going on in this way, the trouble of "the ridgepole bending" and breaking is inevitable. When the ridgepole snaps, the whole house falls down. In the same way, practitioners of the Tao who promote yang too much, who do not know when enough is enough, who can be great but cannot be small, suffer damage to their spiritual house.

If you can proceed breezily without becoming too intense, being harmonious and easygoing without clinging, mastering the ability to adapt to changes, preventing danger and being aware of perils, then firmness and flexibility will correspond, yin and yang will balance each other: Though great, you can avoid excess, so that it is beneficial to go somewhere — consummating essence and perfecting life, you develop without hindrance.

The ridgepole is raised; good fortune. There is another shame.

Great yet able to be small, the mind equanimous, the energy harmonious—this is like the ridgepole being raised and not crumbling; action meets with good fortune. When practice of Tao reaches the point of greatness capable of smallness, this is already the joining of yin and yang: One should not be too yielding any more, because if yielding is excessive it will damage firmness, and the great path will be impossible to complete—one will become a laughingstock, and only reap shame. This is firmness using flexibility appropriately and not excessively.

A withered willow produces flowers, an old woman gets a young man for a husband: no blame, no praise.

Being strong in joy but unable to yield in joy is like a withered willow bearing flowers, an old woman getting a young man for a husband: Being too luxurious and self-satisfied, when yang culminates it gives rise to yin, and the real is injured by the false, as a matter of course. It is fortunate when strength is balanced, and one has inner autonomy and is not deluded by external influences; thereby one can be blameless. But, having filled the belly, if one cannot empty the mind and rest in the center, then there is no praise either. This is excess of the great in the sense of being strong and continuing to apply full strength.

[thinker]

Yesterday I failed. I got caught up in a discussion that was filled with hate. I felt the emotion of hate.

 

I did manage to stop yesterday. Too late, yes. This morning I still feel the residue of this hatred.

 

I think that you're beating up on yourself without justification.

 

Daoism encourages us to act in accordance with nature. One of the mistakes that I frequently see Daoists make is to assume that "negativity", in whatever form, is not part of nature. All emotions are nature's way of guiding us towards pro-survival behavior. In this light, hate is no more unnatural than love. Because hate is unpleasant, and usually associated with unpleasant events, we try to avoid it. We come to consider it intrinsically bad. Sometimes we even enshrine such mistaken beliefs in our religion. Then, when we fail to live up to our mistaken ideals, we feel unjustified guilt.

 

Hate is no more intrinsically bad than a gun is. A gun may be used to rob, or to defend against robbery. Hate may encourage us to assault someone who doesn't deserve it, or may give us the strength necessary to defend ourselves against unjustified assault. Hate is only bad if it controls us so completely that we either fail to make the right judgements concerning our hateful behavior, or make the right judgements but lack the self-control necessary to implement them.

 

Further, it's natural to feel hatred even when it's unjustified. Remember that we don't always have complete information about a situation in the first few instants, and sometimes nature doesn't give you any more time than that to prepare yourself to deal with a threat. i.e. it's a pro-survival trait to get the fight-or-flight juices going quickly, just in case the rapidly approaching caveman is coming to kill you. You can always abort your intended defense as soon as he gets close enough for you to see that he's your brother coming over to ask you how the cavewife is.

 

So accept your hatred as natural. Don't get upset unless you ran off and killed someone between paragraphs.