ChiDragon Posted March 7, 2013 To what extent do you respect an individual...??? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
taijistudent Posted March 7, 2013 Respect can suggested in different ways. In terms of respect for what they are doing, it is judged upon my own value system. In terms of their life journey, I respect them all. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChiDragon Posted March 7, 2013 Respect can suggested in different ways. In terms of respect for what they are doing, it is judged upon my own value system. In terms of their life journey, I respect them all. If a person insisted upon one's own value system is the best and yours is the worse by attacking you with disparaging remarks, how would you respond to that....??? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
taijistudent Posted March 7, 2013 (edited) If a person insisted upon one's own value system is the best and yours is the worse by attacking you with disparaging remarks, how would you respond to that....??? Usually, I try to create distance. No reason to try to share if there is no sharing. Sometimes it is not possible and I have to search for a way out. These are the challenges in life. It certainly happens. Edited March 7, 2013 by taijistudent 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChiDragon Posted March 7, 2013 (edited) Usually, I try to create distance. No reason to try to share if there is no sharing. Sometimes it is not possible and I have to search for a way out. These are the challenges in life. It certainly happens. Yes, that was the end of that and it was a Taoist approach. Nice...!!! Now, let me ask you this. Based on your own value system, what do you find in an individual that will gain your respect....??? Edited March 7, 2013 by ChiDragon Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Basher Posted March 7, 2013 I try to respect everybody's opinion, beliefs, system, training. I might not agree with all or any of it, but who's to say that mine is more valid, functional or important. Unlike some people (Tao Bums included), I don't insult everyone that doesn't share my views... Sure I will defend my Instructors / systems etc if somebody else is knocking them, but some pupils seem like zealots trying to convert you to their system or way of thinking. My Instructors are perfectly able to defend themselves, without my help. To be honest, they're probably not in the least bit bothered by the "My Instructor is better than Yours" brigade. Leave them in the Playground.... Not mentioning any names you understand. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
taijistudent Posted March 7, 2013 Yes, that was the end of that and it was a Taoist approach. Nice...!!! Now, let me ask you this. Based on your own value system, what do you find in an individual that will gain your respect....??? This I do not know and have not learned. What I have learned is to be true to my own self. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChiDragon Posted March 7, 2013 (edited) I try to respect everybody's opinion, beliefs, system, training. Sure I will defend my Instructors / systems etc if somebody else is knocking them, but some pupils seem like zealots trying to convert you to their system or way of thinking. My Instructors are perfectly able to defend themselves, without my help. To be honest, they're probably not in the least bit bothered by the "My Instructor is better than Yours" brigade. If your instructors are really good, then it would be self explanatory. Is there really a need to defend them....??? Edited March 12, 2013 by ChiDragon Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChiDragon Posted March 7, 2013 This I do not know and have not learned. What I have learned is to be true to my own self. You had mentioned your own value system; what is your own value system then....??? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Birch Posted March 7, 2013 "Now, let me ask you this. Based on your own value system, what do you find in an individual that will gain your respect....???" My take is it doesn't have to be gained. It's there to start with. I don't think everyone works this way at all, and indeed we are embedded, willingly or not, into multiples of hierarchies based on - well, I wonder what they're actually based on? --opinion-- Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChiDragon Posted March 7, 2013 (edited) "Now, let me ask you this. Based on your own value system, what do you find in an individual that will gain your respect....???" My take is it doesn't have to be gained. It's there to start with. I don't think everyone works this way at all, and indeed we are embedded, willingly or not, into multiples of hierarchies based on - well, I wonder what they're actually based on? --opinion-- Usually, I try to create distance. No reason to try to share if there is no sharing. Sometimes it is not possible and I have to search for a way out. These are the challenges in life. It certainly happens. Yes, "respect" is there to start with. However, at the end, it maybe ended up with like taijistudent says. That would be the full extent in regard with this respect. Edited March 7, 2013 by ChiDragon Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydog Posted March 7, 2013 Yes I try to, I dont always do it, often I unconsciously have the Idea what Im doing is best (of course I wouldnt be doing it if I didnt think so) In think its best sometimes I want to show this to others or by law of nature think their way is not as good, (naturally this would result in one trying to show them the way you believe is right) It is very difficult to not believe anything is better than anything else. I often think that my ideas on spirituality is how everyone should think, I find it difficult to shut my mouth (even though this is getting better) and try very hard not to preach (even if it is unconscious) I am getting better at this although it is hard. I generally try to avoid the my way is better approach but on some level that can also be a form of "my way is better" lol. Like boasting about humility. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChiDragon Posted March 7, 2013 (edited) sinansencer....Wu Wei is the way to go as the Tao Te Ching suggested. Not doing anything to interfere someone's thinking. Perhaps, keep yourself neutral. Edited March 7, 2013 by ChiDragon 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydog Posted March 7, 2013 sinansencer.... Wu Wei is the way to go as the Tao Te Ching suggested. Not doing anything to interfere someone's thinking. Perhaps, keep yourself neutral. Oh yeh silly me I forgot Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
taijistudent Posted March 7, 2013 You had mentioned your own value system; what is your own value system then....??? It is difficult to articulate since a value system is what we are. But if I was to choose a single word, I would say "fairness". Not surprisingly, I am a Libra. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChiDragon Posted March 7, 2013 @sinansencer................. @taijistudent....I am a Libra too..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SEEKER OF TRUTH Posted March 8, 2013 It's really quite simple, if you want my respect, act respectable, no exceptions. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnC Posted March 8, 2013 To what extent do you respect an individual...??? To the extent that you choose to. There is no right or wrong, but only what you choose to do. You can choose to follow what other books/people/whatever say, but ultimately it is still your choice. John Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
joeblast Posted March 8, 2013 It's really quite simple, if you want my respect, act respectable, no exceptions. This. One shouldnt act as if he deserves respect. Reminds me of a story I once heard from the 1800s where an english lord came to the midwest and while out riding, his horse tossed a shoe and needed a new one. Coming upon a blacksmith, the lord saw him dutifully hammering away - so the lord sat there on his horse waiting to be serviced. After a while he got steaming mad, for the blacksmith simply ignored him. The lord dismounted and furiously went over to the blacksmith and said "why have I not been serviced? I demand to speak with your master!" to which the blacksmith turned, spat chew on the lord's boot and said, "that sumbich aint been born" 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Basher Posted March 8, 2013 If you treat others without any Respect, why are you surprised that they treat you in the same manner ? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
teknix Posted March 8, 2013 If a person insisted upon one's own value system is the best and yours is the worse by attacking you with disparaging remarks, how would you respond to that....??? Be assertive and critique the way that they address the issue and their arguments, to make evident the flaws in the argument and or manners. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stosh Posted March 8, 2013 I Never have been very clear at what respect was or is, since it seems to cover variable behaviors and attitudes depending on who is talking about it. And I dont think the reciprocal nature of respect has a strong connection , but Im not sure. Folks want it for themselves (sometimes), and often the more they do, the less they extend it. And well intentioned folk may do stuff that isnt standoffish (, and they may not be wanted to be standoffish). And other folks want the guise of respect for themselves ,but dont really care what the opinion of the actor actually is.(or vice versa) Such as if I said " yes sir", to someones face- and its a lie right to their face- and they know it -and still they think that respect was displayed! Its not a simple thing Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
teknix Posted March 8, 2013 (edited) Remember that ultimately you choose to be offended, as do they. I think the intention or motivation for the disrespect is the key in determining where the fault is. (Many times it can just be a misunderstanding or miscommunication) Edited March 8, 2013 by teknix 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LCH Posted March 8, 2013 Just from my experience... For many, "respect" is a conditional endeavor. In the midst of an energetic interaction with someone, a conditioned mind will assume many of its habitual positions depending on what is being externally perceived. One of these assumptions can be the expectation or desire for "respect". This is a position that can only be satisfied from "another", which works out well if "other" satisfies the desires. Disjunction occurs when "some asshole" is disrespectful. There are varying degrees of respect, and varying capabilities of recognizing and receiving respect. Example from a recent encounter: Expressing to a devout believer in something that you do not agree with them, but still respect them, might not be received very well. In your heart and mind, you know and feel respect for them, because perhaps you see beyond their ego-facilitated facade, but they are too deluded (not meant in a harsh way) to recognize that. Respect can also be a re-assuring thing from an external perspective. I does mean a lot to me if someone expresses that they respect me. Having said that, I have struggled with the whole "respect" thing in my life from time to time, and not until I perceived beyond my emotional body could I truly understand the dynamic. The "dynamic" I speak of is simply the contrast between ones ego with that of the "Tao", "God", "boozie-woozie", use whatever word you wish... Of course, this is what "material reality" is to me, the combination and observation/experience between tangible and intangible... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Birch Posted March 8, 2013 I used to confuse respect with deference. Usually to some kind of authority or to someone who made it clear they expected it from me. Those people tended to be (and sometimes still are) the people who don't respect me. With whom it is not mutual. And to be honest, I don't care much for that. However, my giving of it will not be conditional. Like someone else said already, I can walk away. But I'm now able to stand my ground too. That's a definite effect of cultivation, for which I'm extremely grateful. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
