Trust (and its abuses)

[Leidee]

I caught an advert for a television show where a lady was asking "Is it true that 'when the trust is gone' that it cannot be repaired?". I only briefly caught the end of the advert and, I have assumed, she is talking about the issue of trust in intimate relationships. But, it got me to thinking about trust and its abuses.

 

How much of "trust" is actually based on your personal assumption of appropriate behaviour and, consequently, and subsequent loss of that trust perhaps isn't necessarily caused by some other person's actions but by a lack of clarity in explaining what behaviour is or is not acceptable to you?

 

Or, is to say "I trust you" (based upon certain accepted behaviours that I may or may not tell you about!) yet another emotional manipulation within the dynamics of human relations? And, so in these circumstances, where does the abuse of trust begin? Is the first abuse the lack of clarity and expectation that some other person will behave in the exact same ways as I? The second abuse possibly the actions of the other person? The third abuse ???

 

In my view, it is trite to say that there is some universal moral or ethical behaviour that everyone should adhere to or, if not adhered to, at least accept that there is an expectation that such things should be ahered to. Clearly, when you consider some of the more extreme actions of people (murder, rape etc etc) it seems apparent that not everyone lives by the same moral/ethical code. Not that this realisation condones those behaviours (or the punishments sometimes applied to those behaviours).

 

Personally, my experience is that people often find it difficult to trust me in the immediacy because I am not an obviously consistent person. I can love and care for people and yet happily not see or contact that person for an extended period of time (even within romantic relationships) - perhaps my consistency or regard for relationships is in more of a global or universal mode, than a strictly personal consideration. I digress, though.

 

Anyway - just throwing this out there and am interested in other people's opinions. What is trust? How do we apply it in the context of ourselves and our relations with other people? Or whereever this particular conversation leads us

 

Peace out

L

[seadog]

When I was in Peru many moons ago I went to machu pinchu.There on top of those beautiful emerald peaks the Inca built a village.In the centre of this extrdinary place there is a stone called the hitching post of the sun.This one singularly simple stone informed the Incas about many things.When to plant when to harvest.But most importantly they believed this stone help anchor the sun so it would continue rise and fall and return to earth once more. Life to the Inca especially after the spanish came to their land was very percarious so much so they didn't even trust the sun riseing each day.

Once I was fishing off the rocks on a calm day with very little swell in a moment I turned my back to the ocean and a rouge wave knoked me off the rocks into the cold sea. Fortunately the wave knocked me into a quite cove.

Trust is a funny thing you gotta have some but not too much.Regardless I have never turned my back on the ocean again.