Nikolai1 Posted March 24, 2013 (edited) Edit Edited April 6, 2022 by Nikolai1 Wish to delete sensitive content 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
三江源 Posted March 24, 2013 maybe you are projecting your anima onto someone who resembles that part of you. maybe your previous psyche was lacking space for your anima. maybe your heart isnt open to your wife and her lack of desire for tortilla chips closes you down. maybe the young girl likes tortilla chips and this gives you a whiff of freedom in your imagination about her. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
三江源 Posted March 24, 2013 maybe you needed an outpouring of love. maybe you needed to be inspired by the feminine. maybe you needed to give and receive attention of an exploratory kind. maybe your heart longs to love and this is where you have found an ignition. Maybe not caring about mortality and your body is creating a huge compensatory drive in your psyche, to affirm life. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
三江源 Posted March 24, 2013 what kind of test could it be... a test to ... love someone that you cant be with. a test to be with someone whom you love despite the difficulties? a test to love your wife more? a test of your peace and ability to be alive. I liked it that your original title said 'falling in live'... 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flolfolil Posted March 24, 2013 i am going through this exact same thing and what got me through it was realizing that i found an amazing friend, and that it doesn't need to be anything more than that for me to be happy. my yoga instructor told me, "you don't have to hate yourself for loving everyone." 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydog Posted March 24, 2013 (edited) It could be a past life issue or something. Get advice or healing from a psychic. I have/still experience feelings for someone who two different people told me was my wife in two past lifes. Edited March 24, 2013 by sinansencer Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vanir Thunder Dojo Tan Posted March 24, 2013 The head thinks, it perceives, it deceives, it remembers, it *can have* knowing, but it does not know.The heart knows, gnows, yeilds truths to those who listen and resign fear.The root grows, nourishes, digests lies, and asserts.So many of us have over 7 minds that we juggle futilely as we are blind leading blind. But once in a while are introduced to, exposed to or even immersed in the guidance of one who is familiar with truth. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flolfolil Posted March 24, 2013 The heart knows, gnows, yeilds truths to those who listen and resign fear. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
konchog uma Posted March 24, 2013 (edited) no kids and never been in a 9 year relationship but its happened to me that someone else (especially young foreign women wtf) will seem much more attractive than the woman i go home to. seems pretty normal. why not just be honest? if you cant be honest with your partner, which is understandable, but regrettable, then be honest with G. If you can't do that, at least be honest with yourself. Or keep being honest, as the case may be. Let it pass. It'll pass Edited March 24, 2013 by konchog uma 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RiverSnake Posted March 24, 2013 (edited) Sound like your thinking with the wrong head. There are gonna be many women out there whom you have a connection with, doesn't mean you should have relations with them, especially if you are tied up. My 2 cents, Peace Edited March 24, 2013 by OldGreen 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
konchog uma Posted March 24, 2013 i dont think it sounds like "love".. more like infatuation or a crush agree with oldgreen, and strongly reiterate let it go its a sign that you need to reconnect with your partner, fresh it up a little, take a trip, get more open or honest, i dunno i dont know you two just throwing some typical ideas out there. Seems like its time to renew your appreciation for her tho 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
三江源 Posted March 24, 2013 Never in my life have I met a person who is so wonderful and beautiful as her. This is how it feels.I yearn to see this woman so badly that it is actually painful. I got pain in my chest to begin with but now I mostly get it in my abdomen. All the peace that I had is gone. The only time when I feel at rest is when I’m actually with her and then it is more like a feeling of relief, like a load has been lifted. I have this, yes. Best homecoming ever, and to a person. No more seperation. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
de_paradise Posted March 24, 2013 It may be a test, but not in how to stifle emotions. The other way round. Kundalini says, hmm, this guy's not dead, I can work with him." Poof", a woman of younger, unfulfilled dreams appears, and your chakras start steaming up. Let him experience hot and cold, infatuation,closeness, unrequited, unfulfilled bipolar love till he turns inside out. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theurgy Posted March 25, 2013 Let him experience hot and cold, infatuation,closeness, unrequited, unfulfilled bipolar love till he turns inside out. Wow. Can I ever relate to this. I nearly completed the 100 days twice and broke it with the same girl each time. The first time was on our first date. It was like Mount St Helen's erupting in Hell. The second time came after we broke up and no contact for a year. Night sweats. Fever. Aching all over. My chest opening up like a hot air balloon. Very little sleep. Unrequited, unfulfilled bipolar love has been one of my greatest teachers. It's a painful ride though. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Antares Posted March 25, 2013 (edited) Last year had similar experience. She is 20 I am 35. Just came up to her on a street. Now I recognize it was my unfulfilled infatuation coming from my past when I did not receive enough love from a NICE girl. NICE means the girl "from my dream" - tall sexy brunette with blue eyes... We understood that it could not last long. But had nice time together. No sex, just some intimacy. Still thinking of her sometime. But I understand that may be it was not love but just desire. Why not love? Simple. We have absolutely different states of psyche. While talking about music, movies, school, some jokes etc all was good, but when started about something more serious there was gap between us which was a great challenge which she could not accept. 20 years old human is still teenager. Who wants fun, alcohol, party, bar, toys, primitive movies, wild sex and does not bother anything spiritual etc. And if you are 36 and on the path of spirituality the gap is doubled. Just let it pass and look inside. But you can go into desire and you will see the end. Even if stay together how long? One, two months...? Common... In one two years she will find somebody younger and more sexy. This is facts of life. If you are on the path of spirituality you need somebody mature. I would prefer to have more matured spiritually women than myself. This would be a greater challenge for the growth. But I think this is nearly impossible. Just can not see myself laying in bed with someone instead of my practice. IMO waste of time. Edited March 25, 2013 by Eugene Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
zanshin Posted March 25, 2013 (edited) banana Edited April 19, 2020 by zanshin Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Antares Posted March 25, 2013 Your wife doesn't want a hierachal relationship Who's wife? Who are you talking to? What is hierachal? Guys talking here of feeling and spirit. Latter is what i am interested more than in just sex. Of course there is hierachy if you aware of it or not. All people are in different levels of their path. If there is huge gap in the way you live there is less chance you will be happy together. She wants party with friends every weekend, you want to practice chikung extensively at the weekend. She wants sex in the morning i want meditation and chikung. What is the compromise? Fulfill someone's desires? Most women never even think of it. And this is hierarchy Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nikolai1 Posted March 25, 2013 (edited) Edit Edited April 6, 2022 by Nikolai1 Old Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hydrogen Posted March 25, 2013 Nikolai, Have you thought about open marriage? Are you perfectly OK with the idea that your wife having sex (either physically or mentally) with other guy? If so, can you talk to your currect woman about open marriage? You never know. She might want to know other guys too. I worked in a swing club for a few years. I've seen different kind of arragement between husband and wife. I don't know if their marriage are better or worse than traditional ones. But they sure communicate to each other more openly than average family. Isn't that sad that you can open your heart to a bunch of strangers online while you can't talk to the woman with whom you plan to spend the rest of your life? (no blame here. I did similar things before) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
zanshin Posted March 25, 2013 (edited) Banana Edited April 19, 2020 by zanshin Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flolfolil Posted March 25, 2013 hydrogen what do you mean by mentally having sex? OP, i discovered the love could be platonic by realizing that love is just love. You have the same love for your friends as you do for your partner. It becomes more than just friends when you make a commitment and add sex, for me anyways. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Antares Posted March 25, 2013 Well there is no appropriate age for love and everything is possible. but it may be just first feelings. You have to spend more time together and then you will see. Of course it is easy to fall in love with young pretty girl. But time will show. I can not judge anybody and I dont know her. Some people at 20 are quite mature another ones are still childish. I wanted to continue our relationships but dont think it would last long anyway. My first impressions of her were false. Some people not saying truth and put masks. I did not know she smokes and going often to clubs, she did not tell me. I am just saying if she is not interested in spirituality you will not be able to understand each other in some points. But if she is nice and clever person everything is possible. Better not to put limits and just flow and listen your heart. But do not forget about mindfulness. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Antares Posted March 25, 2013 And another issue here. If you fell in love with another girl then what is the point to continue relationships with your partner? That only means you do not love her anymore and you deceive her. It is better to think about it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hydrogen Posted March 25, 2013 And another issue here. If you fell in love with another girl then what is the point to continue relationships with your partner? That only means you do not love her anymore and you deceive her. It is better to think about it. Can a person love two people at same time? Who made the rule that a man can only love ONE woman? To take the point further, who made the rule that a man can only marry ONE woman? The God by Islam interpretation doesn't have problem with polygamy. Why do I have to convert to Islam to pass the morality problem? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Antares Posted March 25, 2013 I dunno. Love includes trust and honesty. Will you be happy with your partner (wife) if she would lie you for instance if she says to you she is going to see her mother but actually she is going to make love with other man? What about polygamy and morality in such the case? If you would discuss it with your partner and both okey with polygamy then it is fine. Treat to other the same as you wish other treat to you 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
