HELP!

[Saso]

Hello

 

im an 19 year old from Slovenia. Have just finished high school and going to study electro engineering. I have had an interesting upbringing and am a atheist and a nihilist. I have a long term relationship with my girlfriend. I wanted to improve our sex life and after searching i found the book Taoist secrets of love: cultivating the male sexual energy by Mantak Chia. I have read the book and had began to practice testicle breathing and scrotal compression. Because I had some problems with SC i did a search and got really confused. So i want to ask you, since you have experiece: HOW BEST TO BEGGIN? I want do practice sexual tao and later move on to other stuff, since doing this is already new for me. I want to be able to last long in bed and bring amazing orgasms to me and my girlfriend. What is the best way to do this. Should I go by the book? Or as some have suggested open the MCO. Also what to do about sex and ejaculation? If you could post a schedual of how I should proced I would be most grateful. Much thanks

[三江源]

Hi Saso.

To start with, why not click on some of the tags you have created and read someof the extensive sharings on this topic that are on this site. You will find a very large amount of personal testimony and ideas about all this to widen your current picture.

 

welcome to the forum.

[Saso]

Yes I tried doing that and got completly overwhelmed by information. If you would kindly tell me where is the best place to start I will look it up. All i realy need is clarity because of the extent of the information on this site and maybe a mentor?

[hydrogen]

First, you need to know what you have to work with. i.e. your own body. Be familiar with your own body.

 

In a comfortable position, close your eyes, try to feel your genitals, perinum, anus and tail bone in detail. Practice this daily in different situation when you're more advanced.

 

Second, you need to seperate orgasm from ejaculation.

 

The self edging is a good tool. Basically you pleasure yourself as long as possible without ejaculation.

 

After that you need to understand your girlfriend's body/mind/energy ... However concentrate on the yourself first. It may take a while.

[Alchemistgeorge]

Unless your girlfriend is also practicing too, you are "asking for trouble". If your goal is to improve your sex life and relationship, without her active participation I would NOT recommend this. I've tried that multiple times. It never worked for me.

 

With her active participation, you are talking about a difficult path which can lead to the deepest forms of intimacy far beyond anything that can be said in words. In a very real sense, dual cultivation involves mixing the deepest aspects of yourself with that of your partner.

 

In order to start, IMHO, you need a foundation upon which to build. I think you need to have a solid daily non-sexual meditation practice, an active strategy for keeping yourself grounded AND some practice for integrating the sexual energy (which could be from your daily meditation).

 

When I was trained I was taught these were an ongoing requirement. The sexual practices make you very 'high'. You can only build a building as high as the foundation is strong.

 

So if you want to pursue this path, I'd suggest you start developing a daily meditation practice, if you don't have one already. Next, you must open your microcosmic orbit.

 

 

[RiverSnake]

I would stay clear of Mantak Chia. Here is a good thread on the topic: http://thetaobums.com/topic/24876-a-few-questions-about-important-questions-about-ejaculation-control-and-sexual-energy/

[hydrogen]

n order to start, IMHO, you need a foundation upon which to build. I think you need to have a solid daily non-sexual meditation practice, an active strategy for keeping yourself grounded AND some practice for integrating the sexual energy (which could be from your daily meditation).

 

:

 

So if you want to pursue this path, I'd suggest you start developing a daily meditation practice, if you don't have one already. Next, you must open your microcosmic orbit.

 

Well, not everyone learn to swim wants to swim across English channel. Most people are just content with splash in the back yard pool.

 

IMHO, i don't think these are "must" at all.

 

I could do two hours on average without a single day of meditation. My personal record was 12 hours non stop except rest for water and breath. That happend before I knew any form of meditation. I think that's good enough for most people's need.

[ragamor]

It is a while ago now but when I was going at it, I used to do a combination of male deer exercises and sleeping gigong. They are both easy to do for any beginners.

Sleeping gigong is great for a lot of energy.

Male deer exercise "upgrades" your sexual abilities

[Saso]

Thank you all so much Correct me if im wrong but the way i understand it is:

-live healthy ( good food, exercise, sleep)

-meditate ( later MCO )
-edging ( avoid ejaculation )

-strenghten pelvic floor muscles

 

What about testicle breathing and scrotal compression? Are some parts of Mantak Chias good or should I avoid it as a whole? Also i would like to mention that I do wish to involve my girlfriend later, but first I want to be able to last longer so we have something to work with. What are good book or places to find about this topic and opening the microcosmos orb ( is Mantak Chias book good here or not ) ?

[Saso]

PS One more question. Is it safe to not ejaculate if I have not opened the MCO? I do have sex on a regular basis and have experienced pain in the testicles, when i avoided ejaculation. Also what about prostate massage? I have read on this forum that this is the best way to get full body orgasm. Any thoughts?

[Flolfolil]

If you continue and eventually screw yourself up, send a PM to "chidragon" on here. He helped me make my balls and pubic region stop hurting after a failed retention attempt. The pain was hell.

 

Good luck

[Saso]

PPS: Is Mantak Chias book Awaken Healing Energy through the Tao good or not for a beginner. I have come to the conclusion that without openin the MCO I am basicly doing everything for nothing, and have decided to open the MCO first. Is this a good book to start or do i go for ther books? Also answers to my previous post would be appreciated

[hydrogen]

PS One more question. Is it safe to not ejaculate if I have not opened the MCO? I do have sex on a regular basis and have experienced pain in the testicles, when i avoided ejaculation. Also what about prostate massage? I have read on this forum that this is the best way to get full body orgasm. Any thoughts?

 

http://thetaobums.com/topic/25797-multi-orgasmic-man-am-i-doin-it-right/page-2

 

In this thread, Alchemistgeorge and I already answered some of your questions.

 

It's good to open MCO. But it may take a few years. What do you plan to do with sex at meantime?

 

I still think it's very useful to separate orgasm from ejaculation to get to multi-orgasm stage. Most teen masturbate frequently anyway.

 

The prostate massage is a good idea in general. However it's totally new experience. And, you're only 19. How do you feel about inserting something into your anus? it's not a simple skill either. It may take a few years to experience orgasm through prostate massage.

 

Any compression is effective and dangerous. I don't suggest scrotal compression to beginners.

 

You're only 19. You shouldn't worry about ejaculation yet.

 

Remember, anything you learn, you want it to enhance your life, not panicing over leakeage of vitality.

[Saso]

Thank you Well i have time and better start now =) In the mean time I plan to have the best possible relationship with my girlfriend and will definitly try improving my sex life, just not in the taoist way. And just to clarify I do not masturbate, since I do wish for my sex life to remain between my girlfriend and me About prostate massage... Well im liberal, so I will probably try it, hopefully with my girlfriend. Thank you so much. Only question I have is what is the best book for MCO for begginers =)

[joeblast]

MCO (and chia's work in general) requires a foundation of good practice, cultivating stillness, keeping the mind in check. The sexual benefits of meditation and practice are conveyed firstly from good conditioning and movement. So the stillness and grounding of energies is a prerequisite for his cultivating male sexual energy book. If you only look at the sexual aspects and dont pay attention to the basics then it is simply asking for trouble. So like in my MCO thread that I created I made sure to begin with prerequisites and stress that those should have a decent measure of experiential accomplishment before doing things that work with your energy directly. Best to learn how to be still and balance yourself and then begin moving, this way if things arent smooth enough then you have already established a basis for settling and integrating energy before moving and perhaps encountering a blockage. Not that those cant be dealt with, but always best to avoid problems before they happen instead of dealing with things as they arise.

[z00se]

Well, not everyone learn to swim wants to swim across English channel. Most people are just content with splash in the back yard pool.

 

IMHO, i don't think these are "must" at all.

 

I could do two hours on average without a single day of meditation. My personal record was 12 hours non stop except rest for water and breath. That happend before I knew any form of meditation. I think that's good enough for most people's need.

 

12 hours non stop? Are we talking meditation or sex? If you are talking the latter i find it difficult to believe and undesirable to even want. Are you taking some kind of medicine or is something wrong with you?

[RiverSnake]

. Not that those cant be dealt with, but always best to avoid problems before they happen instead of dealing with things as they arise.

I tend to disagree with this. I feel it's better to deal with things as they arise rather than trying to prepare the path before you even walk it......but maybe that's just my style. Different strokes for different folks.

 

My 2 cents, Peace

[hydrogen]

12 hours non stop? Are we talking meditation or sex? If you are talking the latter i find it difficult to believe and undesirable to even want. Are you taking some kind of medicine or is something wrong with you?

 

Yes. It's type of thing that when I look back and shake my own head and say "was I crazy? How did I do it? I don't think I can ever do it again." I did smoke a little weed when I did that 12 hours run.

 

Vanity, another deadly sin.

[ChiForce]

Unless your girlfriend is also practicing too, you are "asking for trouble". If your goal is to improve your sex life and relationship, without her active participation I would NOT recommend this. I've tried that multiple times. It never worked for me.

 

With her active participation, you are talking about a difficult path which can lead to the deepest forms of intimacy far beyond anything that can be said in words. In a very real sense, dual cultivation involves mixing the deepest aspects of yourself with that of your partner.

 

In order to start, IMHO, you need a foundation upon which to build. I think you need to have a solid daily non-sexual meditation practice, an active strategy for keeping yourself grounded AND some practice for integrating the sexual energy (which could be from your daily meditation).

 

When I was trained I was taught these were an ongoing requirement. The sexual practices make you very 'high'. You can only build a building as high as the foundation is strong.

 

So if you want to pursue this path, I'd suggest you start developing a daily meditation practice, if you don't have one already. Next, you must open your microcosmic orbit.

I agree. Why am I getting the feeling that the OP is looking for ways to have a better sex life....

[Saso]

Yes having a better sex life was my goal and i saw that the tao way was the best. I was also planning to start meditating, since it is helpful. And if i live healthier and longer that would be great. Spirituality is not my biggest priority, but I may become later when i have a little ecperiance in the tao. I would still like to know what is the best for a begginer ( most MCO source are a bit out of my league). I have decided to push the sexual kung fu back, and focus on the foundation. My only question is where to start building it? Which book are best for complete begginers? Pleas just answet that question, because i would like to get started Joeblast has given me a link for MCO but I dont understand it. I know im kinda naggy but just point me to the begginer guides or books so i can get started and progress. Oh and my girlfriend said that she would also like to try medidation and I see a real option for dual cultivation later on =)

[三江源]

12 hours non stop? Are we talking meditation or sex? If you are talking the latter i find it difficult to believe and undesirable to even want. Are you taking some kind of medicine or is something wrong with you?

Sounds good to me, like something right with you.

[joeblast]

I tend to disagree with this. I feel it's better to deal with things as they arise rather than trying to prepare the path before you even walk it......but maybe that's just my style. Different strokes for different folks.

 

My 2 cents, Peace

I can see where you're coming from with that, and to an extent that is a good approach, but my context...hm, look at my first quote in my sig Build fundamentals and then the dealing with things as they arise...is already underway as they arise, in a way.

 

Yes having a better sex life was my goal and i saw that the tao way was the best. I was also planning to start meditating, since it is helpful. And if i live healthier and longer that would be great. Spirituality is not my biggest priority, but I may become later when i have a little ecperiance in the tao. I would still like to know what is the best for a begginer ( most MCO source are a bit out of my league). I have decided to push the sexual kung fu back, and focus on the foundation. My only question is where to start building it? Which book are best for complete begginers? Pleas just answet that question, because i would like to get started Joeblast has given me a link for MCO but I dont understand it. I know im kinda naggy but just point me to the begginer guides or books so i can get started and progress. Oh and my girlfriend said that she would also like to try medidation and I see a real option for dual cultivation later on =)

MCO is surely not a beginner practice, it is just as well you dont understand at this point in time There's plenty of approaches one can begin with. Personally, I advocate a rote physical method to begin with, but of course not everyone will resonate with that approach the most. Some people like to quiet the mind as a way to smooth the breath, some work better smoothing the breath to calm the mind. So the first "physical goal" of meditation (imho) is dropping the flow of air beneath the threshold of turbulence in the air passageways - all of the mechanisms get analyzed, smoothed out, and harmonized until the processes become very efficient, then as the signals get attenuated further and further, the eventually drop away. Each component has its duration, extent, energetic culmination - so part of it is working on the timing of the structures so that the energy potentials may constructively amplify.

 

With a good net positive energy breathing protocol ingrained into one's muscle memory, less and less mental capital is required to execute the motions, and this great stillness is pretty much the foundation of meditative practices - so whatever energy work one does, it is best harnessed and integrated in the context of utter and complete stillness.

[Alchemistgeorge]

PPS: Is Mantak Chias book Awaken Healing Energy through the Tao good or not for a beginner. I have come to the conclusion that without openin the MCO I am basicly doing everything for nothing, and have decided to open the MCO first. Is this a good book to start or do i go for ther books? Also answers to my previous post would be appreciated

IMHO it is a good book for a beginner.

 

The method presented in the book is very simple, and is the method that Mantak Chia was taught when he was a student. You can use it too.

 

I used to teach the foundation course in this subject and we taught people three things: the inner smile meditation, the six healing sounds, and how to open their orbit (MCO). All three are good practices. I think of the inner smile meditation as the first steps through the doorway into the world inside your body. The six healing sounds regulate (balance) the six major organs.

 

Here below is the way I was taught (by Mantak Chia) how to open the MCO. It is my favorite method of all the methods I have been taught, and it is no longer the method they teach. Not everybody is up to this method as a beginner - if you can't feel energy yet either use the method in Chia's book or learn some simple qigong (8 pieces of brocade, etc.) until you have the necessary skill. Use the diagram in the book for the names and locations of the points on the microcosmic orbit. Read the safety points in the book and follow them. All of Chia's books have really good safety points, do not ignore them. This is a very brief write up.

 

sit comfortably, eyes closed.

Breathe in. Breathe out. With your in breath, feel (not imagine, not visualize) feel energy coming towards you in the breath. Inhale and draw that energy in with your breath into your 3rd eye point on the orbit. Feel it move there, and exhale back out into the universe (horizontally). Do this until you feel 'something' at that point - like warmth. All the points on the orbit are close to the surface of the body - stay shallow here and with all points.

Do this until you get something. It might be 10 minutes, 10 hours, 10 days or 10 months. At the end of each practice, regardless of where you have or haven't gotten collect your energy at your navel (see below)

When you have something happening here at the third eye point, you add the next point. Next you breath into third eye, and draw the energy down to your palate (tongue touching the roof of your mouth), Feel it move there, and exhale letting the energy go up to the third eye point and out. When you can feel something happening at the palate point - like warmth or tingling, its time to go to the next point.

inhale to 3rd eye, draw down to palate point, then draw down to throat point, exhale up to palate to third eye and out.

After that, inhale to 3rd eye, draw down to palate, then draw down to throat, then to heart point, exhale up to throat, up to palate up to third eye and out.

keep on doing this point by point until you get all the way around.

What you are doing is waking up the points one by one and clearing the path between them. This is a superficial wake-up. It can take a while to get a response from a point - hours, days or weeks. Go point by point. Take your time. At the end of each practice session, concentrate on the navel point or the lower dan tien. Do the spiraling technique described in the book - you are collecting all energy you've brought in or woken up - if you want to be safe and health at the end of each practice bring the energy to the navel point or the lower dan tien.