A journey of awakening.

[DragonsNectar69k]

Not to sure where to start this rant. But I would like to share what I have expierenced in the last year or two, to hopefully help others learn from my expierences and hopefully gain some light from all my trials and mishaps. Since I do not study under a master.

 

I began studying magick after witnessing a relative of mine (brother) got involved in some dark arts, due to his poor health and not knowing what else to do, it seems he caved into the 'dark side'. This was after the fact that I had learned he was doing such things in my home and was already kicked out. All I remember before I had learned about his doings, was I remember coming home one and feeling very depressed and negative. I was crying for no reason and was not aware of what was going on in the other room. My brother had complained of hearing pounding on the walls at night, while no one else in the house heard anything. Eventually my mother had found some candles and some sorcery/witchcraft stuff hidden in my brothers closet with her name on it and decided to kick my brother out of the stuff. Apparently he wanted to harm my mother because he felt she was the cause to all of his issues and problems in life. Not very logical or sound thinking.

 

Needless to say I was already studying esoteric teachings such as eckhart tolle and reading into hermeticism and what have you. I ended up finding some people online who were also studying magick but I ended up with more questions than answers. I did not care for the dark stuff, since I grew up in the catholic church as a youngster and had seen some exorcisms of people who practiced voodoo and such. Needless to say, I was scared straight. But after my brother left I did feel very disempowered for some reason. Apparently my brother had been paying a mage of some kind to help him get what he wanted in life. Which was to disempower his own mother and since I decided to agree with my own mother, myself as well. Typically bs these days.

 

Where my personal journey really starts was after I had got in touch with these people who were studying magick. I remember one night in a dream I had seen a black figure with static energy surrounding my field of consciousness. Sort of freaked me out. I was also heavily addicted to porn at the time as well. I was feeling hapless since my father decided to leave with my brother. Luckily whatever that was went away. A week after or so I remember having this burning chi sensation near my balls. I felt as if my balls were going to go into my stomach and it f*cking hurt. It burned like no other. I thought I was going to die. Luckily this went away as well but I was at the mercy and knowledge of the group I was studying with. There was some people in the group who were good and some who my intuition told me to stay away from but I failed to listen since I wanted to understand WTF my brother was doing.

 

My dreams began to get even weirder. I remember waking up to a black cloud over my body. Luckily that went away as well. I remember hearing other people, who I felt I couldn't trust asking me what it was I desired. But I would wake up before anything could happen. I had plenty of good and bad dreams. My most memorable one was when I woke up one morning and saw the image of an angel in my mind's eye. It was curled up in the fetus position and it began to stand up and a ball of light began to shine with it as it expanded its wings. I remember hearing a womens voice saying it was time for my awakening. No idea who she is.

 

I began meditating regularly in the shower and now have this dim violet ring of energy around my minds eye when I meditate. I now have plenty of visions and dreams. I had to stop all drug use sicne the last time I smoked marijuanna I felt my self come back into my body as a jolt of electricity on my right side of my brain. It was trippy and scared me straight. No idea what I did or where I went as well. I've had plenty of other OOB dealing with the magick of my 'family'. One night I was attacked by a witch astrally. No idea why. But I remember seeing the image of a witch in my minds eye. It was sort of like an avatar at first in my minds eye of a dark green skinned witch with black clothing. I was then looking at a chunky woman who had these galaxies in her eyes, I felt mezmorzied, who then 'pushed' energy onto me as she seemed irratated with me. No idea why. It felt cold and disillusioned. I then witnessed a tribal group burn a dog and direct the energy at me. I believe this was animal sending. All I remember hearing from a higher being was, "just love". It was all I could say that night. I remember waking up from work and trying to meditate this thick grey energy off of me and my aura. I was shaking violently. I had heard a voice within ask me if I needed deliverance and I replied with yes. I then felt fine and went to work that day without any further problems.

 

I began to have plenty of dreams and encounters. I kept in touch with one person from the group I use to talk to. I began to not eat and became very sensitive to energy, and had failed to ground myself. Needless to say I felt as if I was stuck in the astral realm. Sort of still do feel that way. I traveled to other worlds and planes that I dont really remember. Higher realms it seems. But they were really cool.

 

I was having dreams with other people and even recieved some help in exorcising my own home at one point from some people I have never met in my life. I had traveled into my brothers room and had noticed a homeless person's soul was laying on the bed with a news paper over its face. Which is why I think my brother was involved in sorcery. I told that person to leave in the dream. I had also witnessed reptile like spirits in my home, one of them being very malevolent, I sought to kill these beings but I woke up. I ended up going to the hospital due to not eating and having a low blood count, aka psychosis. I am better now. But during my visit at the hospital I kept going OOB and had some interesting dreams there as well. Some people in the hopsital had dark pitch black eyes. I was going a bit crazy and wanted to assisinate the pope. I felt i was working for the government and could use telepathy to activate a rogue to kill the pope. (dont ask). I was pissed at the pope for ordaining the 'saint of death' as a real saint. I felt it was sorcery and witchcraft.

 

While in the hospital I had a dream with two Goddesses who helped me settle down and simply acknowledged my anger for dogmatic religions. One had these really majestic eyes and the other was literally levitating when I saw them in my dream scape. I also had dreams of flying around in light space ships. It was freaking awesome. They were orb like ships.

 

After being in the hospital for two weeks. I then came home and had several dreams as well. I had one dream about the saint of death and I witnessed a table full of candles and a woman like witch who was watching over these candles. I saw plenty of statues as well. But luckily after praying she left me alone. I had another dream where I witnessed a sorcer's frustation with me since I did not care to cooperate but to only observe his ways.

 

And then my last and final dream in which everything seemed to clear up was with the Goddess Kwanyin, or atleast it looked like her, even though I had never prayed to her in my life. I had felt asleep in my mothers bed. I remember falling into a meditative state and went OOB with her. I noticed a man sleeping on the couch where I was sleeping beforehand who had blonde hair. I remember going into my brothers old room and feeling the energy there being a bit heavy but nothing was there. I then remember hearing a woman's voice with a deep OMMM mantra plugging away at my heart. I heard Kwanyin say I wasn't suppose to be here and I began focusing on the meditation as it was resounding and loud in the dream. It felt great and then I woke up. Now my dreams tend to be normal. I still happen to stumble upon people who tend to be vampiric now and then, but I still feel stuck in the astral. The last cool dream I had was when I traveled to this other star system in a light ship, and it was almost like star wars with other ships there. It was cool.

 

Needless to say. These other realms are real as well as the higher beings. We are all spiritual beings it seems. There are good and bad groups out there. From my own expierences I have found that many are seeking power to understand themselves and fulfill their desires and ego. Some people use magick as a 'technology' while others are looking for ways to 'get back' at others secretly, to empower themselves. It's rather sad though. It creates a endless cycle of suffering and pain. I see why one should possibly study under a master to learn etiquette and self-mastery. One can learn alot more if one practices restraint and compassion towards another than to attack back.

 

I am more focused on my health these days and bringing balance to my body. Since most of my chi has been focused to my head. The astral body still needs energy to operate. Which I am assuming is shen. Oh yea, I also got to witness some immortals. They had really huge heads, but they were nice. After all the traveling and trials I have expierenced, I am a bit more laxed about my journey. I feel things will happen when they are meant to happen and that one should not rush into spiritual pursuits to fulfill one's own sense of self. There is plenty to do here on earth to reduce the suffering of others and one's own sense of self. Escapism is not the answer, lol.

[DragonsNectar69k]

Oh yea I forgot to mention. I also had dreams with some catholic preist. The preist wanted me to become a catholic preist as well. This preist seemed to have spiritual powers as well. I felt him push his energy on me in a playful way in the dream. I found myself in a cathedral with this preist I have never seen in my life. I also think this preist had a minion because he had a little helper with him who was wearing the same clothes the clergy men wear. Pretty trippy. But I am no longer a catholic. So becoming a preist was out of the question.

[Hypnagog]

My my what an active soul! Hello! I am new here as well. I would first like to saw that my experience is similar to yours. Different, but similar. The active dreaming, interacting with Spirits and other humans in the dream state. Sensitivity to energy, violet rings around the third eye etc. I also se eshifting patterns of violet, blue, and sometimes green and yellow especially on blank surfaces when I am calm. I see rings of white energy around people that pulse with faint colors lke red yellow blue etc. Somtimes everything around me is one solid color, usually pink or violet. What does this mean? Is my third eye opening? When will it open fully? I really wonder. Maybe I will post about it. I am wondering also how old you are? I just turned 20 last month (pisces) I would love to talk about our journey more!

[DragonsNectar69k]

Yea. I've had plenty of dreams. Good and bad. Earth is a rather boring place compared to what is out there. No idea why I am here. Collecting past lives would probably be a good idea, but I have yet to find the time to do so.

[DragonsNectar69k]

Oh I forgot to mention this dream. I feel that it was in the higher realms. I was around people of indian descent. I found myself in a room with everything I ever needed. It was highly luxurious and quite spacious. I remember finding a pair of shoes I wanted and for some odd reason decided to steal them from this place. But before I tried to steal these shoes I was roaming around these mansion like rooms. I remember walking outside of these buildings that looked like apartments but when one entered they became utter mansions. Literally make-shift mansions. It was amazing. I remember sneaking out with these shoes into a dinning hall where there was a golden mermaid swimming about in a large pool side fountain and a bunch of indian men who I have never seen before eating at a big table laughing hysterically. I rememebr trying to leave this place, to only be told that I could stay and have whatever I wanted by my conscious was set on stealing these shoes and then the dream ended. I remember having another dream in this luxurious building where I was studying something, but have not been back since. Was it heaven... beats me

[Birch]

Welcome to TTB's!

[Hypnagog]

Mmmhm. Recently in my dreaming I am in great huge libraries. These places are like labyrinths often with other occupants sometimes not. I open books and step into different layers of dreaming and they often contain images that leave impressions in my mind. The library always looks different but I wonder if it is simply the "akashic records" of which so many talk about.
The other interesting thing that happens to me is that I often astral project or move into higher realms of dreaming while dreaming. After my experience in this "higher realm" (which is often more vivid that the previous) I will "wake up" into my previous dream and recollect my experience. Here is an example from a couple nights ago:
My perspective is in 3 parts. One observing, the other two acting.
There is an androidbeside me, face and body the same shape as my own but the texture of his skin is filled with blinking lights and coils of computer-chip jargon. As I move the android moves, trapped in an endless cycle. The third observing perspective moves into my organic one. The android must be fooled. We lie down, and I send a visualization, a wave of perception that peels apart my vision and opens into the androids own mine. Suddenly birds eye, the android is walking on a endless shore. The tide comes in, starting at the ankles but slowly moving up and up. The android continues walking but is quickly becoming submerged in water. Eventually the ocean brinks the androids head. As soon as the head is breached my awareness shoots upward, into pulsating blue rings of light and color. The feeling is indescribable. There is no "I" no body, only the awareness of this realm of light and sound. Eventually I feeling a downward sensation, my awareness plummets through the rings and back into my sleeping body, the android lays beside me.

[三江源]

hi dragonsnectar69k, thankyou for sharing this journey of yours.

 

I think it a useful and important sharing and would suggest it be copied to a part of the forum where it gets more widely read.

[DragonsNectar69k]

Hypnagog, yes I have only found myself in a library once. I was shown books by who I believe to be was a minion. I was also shown a certain form of divination by two witches it seems. They took a newspaper and then a piece of cloth and sewed them together and this would some how divine the future. I don't exactly remember how or why, because I don't practice divination. I also remember in this dream session. I also found myself surrounded by angels who were going in and out of caves to help others. The universe is a vast place. I definitely want to go back to the light ship. A very amazing expierence in first person view.

 

I also wanted to make a note about 'predators'. There are people who are very skilled at psionics and energy work. People who have invested the time to study and know they have spiritual 'gifts'. I remember when I began to notice my level of increased awareness allowed me to know that some of these people who I use to accompany would find their ways into my dreams, dream weaving without me knowing. It was how I became aware of other people's conniving nature, especially over the internet where you don't get to meet people face to face. I would highly suggest not practicing magick or anything spiritual with individuals you have met over the internet, unless you acquire the chance to know this person personally for a extended period of time. There are people who will take advantage of a neophite concerning esoteric arts, sad but it is reality for some. If this life ever permits me, I would love to study with monks as they make excellent teachers (of course) and tend to NOT have subliminal motives, like acquiring money and such from their students.

 

An example of a predator would be an individual who is seeking to know many personal things about yourself, which is obvious. Who may come off very innocent and benign, but are really a wolf in sheeps clothing to say the least. There is actually a whole genre of psionics on 'vampirism' and techniques one can use for energy work. But I wouldn't suggest developing such traits, as most of these people who take this path have a low sense of self-esteem and tend to hate everything about themselves and also developed addictive personalities and demonic chartacteristics that one can see and feel if one has the eye's to see and the ears to hear.

 

Grounding all that negativity aside, I have also had plenty of benevelont expierences with monks and higher beings who I have encoutnered in my dream scape at some point in time. I remember having a dream with a bald monk who had shown me a form of meditation in which the energy around my head became very serene and peaceful. If I could describe it, it seemed like the ultimate state of nothingness, or nirvana perhaps. I remember going to work that day, being highly content for no reason at all, with this force field around my head. In the dream I went OOB in my room and had witnessed the monk levitating over me while he meditated in full lotus posture. A very interesting person who I never saw again. I guess having these dreams is a perk of keeping a highly open mind.

 

Cat, where would you suggest I copy this too?

Edited April 10, 2013 by DragonsNectar69k

[三江源]

How about General Discussion?

[RiverSnake]

Hey Dragonsnektar, very interesting experiences. In regards to protecting yourself (if you dont already know how) from psychic attacks i recommend putting up one gold and one purple shield around yourself to ward of others influences and generally the heavy energy that we encounter on a daily basis, atleast that is what I have been taught. Welcome to thetaobums.

 

My 2 cents, Peace

[DragonsNectar69k]

Hello OldGreen,

 

Thanks for the advice. Yes influence is a big deal if your a neophite. I stopped talking to said people once I realized that my very own free will was being manipulated, which I did not like at all, for the egotistical fantasies of others. If anything I learned to trust myself even more and that making mistakes can also be the best teacher as well.

 

But I am not aware of the use of purple and gold around one's aura, I guess it is all in the intention. On good days I can sense if I am being read or possibly tampered with. If I am meditating I can sometimes catch glimpses of beings reading me who tend to flash in and out of my minds eye. It's rather interesting seeing these beings that people assiociate with. Some people can begin practicing magick and may not even realized who the entities they are working with or are possibly possessed by. Lack of awareness can be a grave danger, especially in the dark arts.

 

Ive had a couple of dreams and third eye moments where I have literally seen psychics and mages in my field of vision. Unfortunately in the hispanic community, relying on psychics, mages, sorcerers, tarot card readers is a big phenomeon. Many people will come to these kind of people who are seeking 'help' with their desires and intentions, which are not always pure to say the least. The idea of dominance and taking advantage of lessed developed souls is what tends to happen. My entire journey of awakening began because I knew I was being tampered with spiritually but I did not have the eyes to see or the hears to hear at the time. I remember the first night I had stupidily let my guard down (to explore and understand) and I had felt someone shove their hand into my lower dan tian, it hurt! Constantly being hit with heavy energy and dealing with the lies of your own family is no fun. It takes a toll on your health and can give rise to psychological stress and paranoia. I know when a family member is up to something because they usually show up in my dream scape with a candle or an object of some kind or I find I am being attacked by some sorcerers spiritual slave or demon. I have seen the goat of mendes as well a few times. But I have also seen catholic saints, Jesus with a rainbow body, monks, Goddesses, disincarnate souls, etc..

 

Needless to say, in dealing with such crap, I found that sending whatever energy back into the earth is a great way to nuetralize whatever it may be coming at one's self. I also tend to send ghost to the post-mortal realm, since I don't believe in sorcery and would want someone to help me cross over if I was stuck in a rut on earth after death. I believe they are not suppose to be here and feeding them energy is like having a pet animal. Hence why I said that many who practice magick tend to be looking for power. We reap what we sow, and this I know.

 

In developing this sense of self-defense I have realized that I missed a few things concerning cultivation just so I can be 'aware'. Which sucks. I am hoping to perfect and pursue better health for now and continuously work on learning and cultivating a sense of understanding, every trial being a blessing in disguise I believe.

Edited April 11, 2013 by DragonsNectar69k

[DragonsNectar69k]

In regards to moving this topic to the general discussion area, if a modertator would like to, please do so! Thanks!

[hydrogen]

I was having dreams with other people and even recieved some help in exorcising my own home at one point from some people I have never met in my life. I had traveled into my brothers room and had noticed a homeless person's soul was laying on the bed with a news paper over its face.

 

Next time, if you see the homeless people, ask him if he's hungry and offer him a comforter, which is more comfortable than newspaper.

 

Practice charity in your dreams as well as in real life.

[DragonsNectar69k]

Next time, if you see the homeless people, ask him if he's hungry and offer him a comforter, which is more comfortable than newspaper.

 

Practice charity in your dreams as well as in real life.

 

Haha. Yes yes! I know! I could have been more nice to this soul who was in my brother's old room. I did not have the courage at the time since, I, myself, felt I was under attack and did not realize that the entity that may have been pounding away at my brothers walls was this homeless soul, paranoia took over. Luckily that person did have a comfortable bed to sleep on for quite some time and this news paper was covering this person's head strangely enough. Sorcery is definitely mean in my opinion. I could only begin to imagine how that homeless soul got involved in black magick.

[Vmarco]

I would like to share what I have expierenced in the last year or two, to hopefully help others learn from my expierences and hopefully gain some light from all my trials and mishaps. Since I do not study under a master.

 

I began studying magick after witnessing a relative of mine (brother) got involved in some dark arts, due to his poor health and not knowing what else to do, it seems he caved into the 'dark side'.

 

"When one is ready to have

Everything one thinks one knows

Turned upside down and,

Inside out,

Then, as if by magic,

Wu Hsin appears."