Struggling with Life

[Gettodachopper69]

Hi All,

 

I am wondering if any of you would be willing to give me some guidance. I am really struggling with anxiety and mental chatter and I just cannot seem to get control of it no matter what i do. I started Spring Forest QiGong about 70 days ago and was doing really good for a while and got up to about an hour a day. Then once I got to an hour I lost motivation and went back down to 5-20 minutes a day and now I am barely doing that every few days or so.

 

I am back to my old ways of drinking coffee and eating sugar in excess throughout the day along with other unhealthy high carb foods. I am not overweight but they really cause me to lose control of my thoughts and before I know it I start struggling with fears and anxiety about life. A lot of it is status anxiety too, which is just nonsense but I feel like I am programmed to "fit in" in some ways and it keeps me from just being who I truly am.

 

Part of the problem is that I tend to be very over optimistic about my abilities and I try to do to many things at once. Before I fell off the wagon recently, I was lifting weights, journaling, reading self help/spiritual books, reading the newspaper, meditating and some other things. I was trying to do these every day but it turned into almost an addiction to getting ahead and I just couldn't handle the stress or find enough time to get it all in.

 

Since I was a kid I have tended to try to accomplish everything and find myself obsessing over the next "cure all end all" quick fix or magic activity that is going to change my life for the better. Some of the things I have pursued are: stock market/trading, self help books, memory training, speed reading, career advancement, beating social anxiety and shyness, kung fu, karate, at one point I thought drinking/drugs were the answer (sober now), Guitar, Piano, QiGong, Meditation, HRV Training and just generally trying really hard to be smart and make lots of money. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

 

But, these endeavors never seem to work out as I always end up quitting or start out really motivated and disciplined but later fall off the wagon and drive at a quarter of the speed. I feel like I end up going back to where I started. Many of them are very shallow especially when it comes to trying to make lots of money but what I really want is to become at peace with myself and to learn to love myself.

 

So my question is, in your experience, if I am able to commit myself only to QiGong, will it bring me to the place of mental clarity that I am looking for? Will the anxiety go away and will it bring me to a place of peace and harmony? How long each day should I practice? 5 minutes, 20 minutes, 1 hours, 3 hours? If not QiGong, then what will bring this? I realize I am basically asking to be enlightened but I thought I would share some of my story and get your perspectives. I appreciate your time and maybe I can be of help in the future.

 

Take Care!

[voidisyinyang]

First of all caffeine and sugar both deplete your kidney energy and then cause great fear.

 

So what happens is you get the sugar rush which is dopamine addiction but then too much sugar causes the pancreas to kick out too much insulin - and so then you get the sugar blues from too much insulin. Finally the body has to get the blood sugar back up again so is forced to pull sugar from the extremities -- so then there is cold hands and feet - and with this comes fear.

 

70 days of Spring Forest Qigong is just starting out - so just relax and go slow and enjoy the energy.

 

I would do just half hour of standing active exercise and then half hour of small universe meditation.

 

Do that twice a day if possible.

 

But the addiction to get ahead as you state - that is still "dopamine addiction" - it is the most common addiction for modern society - so you are the normal modern person. haha.

 

The thing is by slowing down the breathing then you increase the chi energy because normally there is 4 heart beats per breath - with each heart beat is chi energy - so if you slow down your breath then you have more heart beats per breath and so more chi energy per each breath. haha.

 

Seriously though so basically the dopamine then switches to serotonin.

 

what is happening is that sugar, caffeine, alcohol all increase dopamine but also increase cortisol stress hormones.

 

So for the typical male the dopamine switches to cortisol stress from ejaculation.

 

So instead you want the dopamine to stay in the relaxation parasympathetic nervous system so the dopamine switches to serotonin.

 

This serotonin increase is from slower breathing which slows down the heart -- so it is the alpha brain wave - also from slow music at 60 beats per minute. So then you become right brain dominant but as visualization energy for better memorization and mind concentration.

 

It is a light trance state of relaxation and very blissful -- but then when you go deeper then you open up the heart energy which then will increase the chi electromagnetic energy.

 

So to do that is slower breathing -- so it is the theta brain wave and is the trance drumming at 7 beats per second -- so the brain wave is 7 beats per second.

 

So that increases the oxytocin love hormone of the heart - it's the left side vagus nerve to the heart.

 

So yeah it is difficult to break out of the dopamine addiction since it's based on male ejaculation addiction as a positive feedback cycle -- but also the diet is the second cause of energy blockages. Salt also increases dopamine addiction but overstimulates the adrenals to burn them out.

 

So basically the diet and everything is based on dopamine addiction but it's based out of male ejaculation addiction.

 

You should get a phone healing from one of the Spring Forest Qigong masters -- call 1-952-593-5555 so then you can feel the laser spirit bliss energy and then you know what to shoot for experientially.

 

But yeah so your emotions are closely linked to diet but also your practice environment - the people around you, etc. - and so even if you are healing yourself then the people around you are stuck in dopamine addiction mentality - and so they suck up your bliss energy and then you take in their blockages and then you just heal yourself to remove the blockages.

 

So you become the "love radiator" - in the sea of dopamine addiction - it will maybe limit you from building up your energy but it is better than just being a part of the problem.

 

But anyway you learn from experience - so as the channels open up then the diet toxins will automatically be leached from the body-brain -- and so you learn to avoid sugar and limit caffeine to small amounts, etc.

 

For example drinking tea is better than coffee because there's more antioxidants in tea and so the antioxidants dilate your blood vessels while normally caffeine constricts your blood vessels. So coffee restricts the blood vessels but tea does so less and can actually dilate the blood vessels.

 

But the caffeine will cause the mind to be stuck in dopamine while you want to get into the serotonin state for meditation -- so then first do the active exercise until the mind calms down and then do the sitting meditation.

 

How long you practice is entirely up to how fast you want to build up the energy.

 

If you want to really work on progress then work on sitting in full lotus and this will transform the emotional diet blockages much faster.

 

So Western culture is very materialistic - Chunyi Lin does not have big muscles at all -- so lifting weights is not necessary to build up chi energy.. I know this because I built up strong chi energy without building up muscles.

 

Journaling, reading/writing - that's all left brain mentality that ideally should be kept at a minimum.

 

When I sit at the computer I'm almost always in full lotus so I can easily transform the energy.

 

But even full lotus with eyes closed is not near to meditation with mind concentration.

[Lemon_Squeezy]

Hi gettodachopper69.

 

You soulnd like a very ambitious and self-aware, intelligent person. This may be something to cherish since not many people in life have these qualities and are content with the daily routine and life's pleasures.

 

Reading a self-help book by Tony Robbins or Michael Johnson (slaying the dragon - awesome), may help to focus your energy into the directin you enjoy most and which offers the best career opoprtunities.

 

Obviously the golden rule to improving health is to eliiminate/minimise bad habits and introduce good habits, but only as long it doesn't cause you additional mental stress ("have I taken my mega fish-oil zincoplex supplmenmt today!?" hahaha). Since you are self-aware, doing this may come easily to you.

 

Also, since you are self-ware this could be driving you to finding something deeper in life. So, don't despair, take heart from the fact that you perhaps are unconsciously driving yourself to true happiness!

Edited April 25, 2013 by Lemon_Squeezy

[ChiDragon]

So my question is, in your experience,

if I am able to commit myself only to QiGong, will it bring me to the place of mental clarity that I am looking for?

Will the anxiety go away and will it bring me to a place of peace and harmony?

 

How long each day should I practice? 5 minutes, 20 minutes, 1 hours, 3 hours? If not QiGong, then what will bring this? I realize I am basically asking to be enlightened but I thought I would share some of my story and get your perspectives. I appreciate your time and maybe I can be of help in the future.

 

Take Care!

 

Yes, it will, only Chi Kung will bring you to the place of mental clarity that you are looking for. The anxiety will go away and bring you to a place of peace and harmony. If you do it only one way and go by my definition of Chi Kung. If you're really interested, PM me.

[Jetsun]

I can emphasise with a lot of what you say as I have a similar mindset. One thing that really struck a chord with me was when I heard Adyshanti say "you are not a problem to be solved" as that is how I had been treating myself. For me this was an important point as all the work I had been doing to try improve myself was just sending the message to myself that I was not ok, so I realised that most of the self help industry is a huge scam or just another racket where what they sell you to improve yourself helps helps reinforce that you need to improve yourself, so they sell you another negative feedback loop which helps keep you stuck. Many spiritual paths are also the same.

 

 

Real meditation and spiritual work is different in that it needs to be done without expectation of results, or for the benefit of others or in devotion. Although I can't say approaching meditation without the need to achieve anything is easy but that is most of the challenge. Maybe studying a bit of Adyshanti would help as he is the Zen do nothing kind of path which might help clarify a few things

 

 

oh and never trust anyone who says my way is the only way or my technique is the only technique that can help.

Edited April 25, 2013 by Jetsun

[RiverSnake]

Sounds like you already know what your problems are as well as the solutions, yes qi gong will bring deeper clarity and inner peace into your life if you practice it daily. I just have one tip for you:

 

1. Stop whacking off (it will give you more energy and motivation to pursue your interests)

 

 

My 2 cents, Peace

Edited April 25, 2013 by OldGreen

[Birch]

"most of the self help industry is a huge scam or just another racket where what they sell you to improve yourself helps helps reinforce that you need to improve yourself, so they sell you another negative feedback loop which helps keep you stuck. Many spiritual paths are also the same"

 

The +1 button didn't work so I'm giving this +10:-)

[hydrogen]

But, these endeavors never seem to work out as I always end up quitting or start out really motivated and disciplined

 

The definition of some words that you used.

 

Endeavor: Try hard to do or achieve something

 

Motivate: To provide with an incentive

 

Discipline: Training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior

 

It seems that you force yourself to do something that you don't like. How about doing something that you love to do and good for you?

[Maddie]

Ok if you came into my clinic and based just upon the things you said here I would say you have a Spleen qi deficiency. Two main indicators for this are sugar cravings and worry / lots of mental activity.

 

Sweet is the flavor of the Spleen and sweet cravings indicate the Spleen is deficient. That on is pretty straight forward.

 

The other factor all the mental business and worry (about doing this or that or being good enough) is also a Spleen issue.

 

I'd also say there is some Liver qi stagnation as stress can cause the Liver qi to stagnate and then the Liver can attack the Spleen further depleting it.

 

My recommendation would be the herbal formula "Xiao Yao Wan". It is good for building up the Spleen and relaxing the Liver. I would also recommend sticking with the qigong but not being so hard on yourself about it (self-compassion is very important). You might also want to consider Buddhist Anapana meditation where all you do is focus on just one thing (often the breath) and nothing else. This will have a great effect of quieting your mind, and helping you get over the habit of feeling like you have to "do something".In this practice you let things happen as opposed to do things. Do with out doing.

[joeblast]

haha, lol'd when I saw get to da choppa. good advice already given.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpEgQ3b_Ug0

[johndoe2012]

.

Edited August 18, 2013 by chris d

[Stosh]

Lots of great feedback, don't you think so too?

But since you have already tried many things,

You may be less than confident, about the next latest and greatest plan.

What I think should be said , though, is that all the techniqes have adherents for whom they work!

There is no reason why you can't also find peace from your anxiety, as long as there is no organic cause.

The body and mind are linked indisputably.

And karma is linked to attitude. Less certainly but highly suggested, is it not?

You will have to find the flaws in perspective that are submarining your peace..

Some of those things you are going to find, you really consider imperative.

You are really putting a lot of strain on yourself, and so, you really need to look at whether you are better off searching for intermediary concerns with such gusto.

Give your brain a break, as often as you can , start shusshing the internal dialog .If you are eating, just eat, if you are exercising, just exercise etc Make a decision once, prepare whatever you need to, for its getting done, once! Making the same decision a thousand times means you will change your mind at some point.

That's a start, and you may just find it easier than you ever thought to make positive strides towards anything you care to.

[Stosh]

Ps you already love yourself , you just need to express that with the same firm gentleness and wish for peace that you would wish for your kids or wife or dog to experience.

[mikem]

Please note that in your post you used "I' about 40 times. And words like struggle, try, control almost as often as fear and anxiety. Please, please, please, put it all down. Try this famous Daoist experiment: Stop thinking about yourself and your life and go help some suffering person. Do what you need to do to survive, but it won't matter what you eat, or what phone guru you call, none of that will matter, Just dedicate a significant amount of time to something like working at a hospice, and let me know after 6 months how that worked for you. I truly hope that helps.

[Gettodachopper69]

Thanks everyone I really appreciate all of your advice and that you all took time out to share your thoughts. I really have a lot of things to look into now. I'm very thankful for this forum!

 

Pythagoreanfulllotus - I can really relate to a lot of what you are saying. I have read some about dopamine and cortisol and its effects on the mind/body and it is really interesting. I think it is unfortunate that western society is so addicted to coffee and sugar and that the two are so socially accepted. Same with alcohol. There is no moderation in western society, its all about over indulgance. I am going to start incorporating the QiGong into my mornings and at night so hopefully I can get the two hours a day in that I need. I really hope the QiGong can help me with my addictions because they are a very unfortunate and negative part of my life. I feel that they really hold me back from my potential as a human being. Thank you again for your thoughts and advice, I am very grateful!

 

Lemon_Squeezy - Yes it is unfortunate that more people are not self-aware in western culture, it seems like 10% of the people are willing to work on themselves and grow and 90% are stuck in the materialistic side of life. Yes I feel like I am being driven to happiness, most of my days are filled with happiness and especially when I stay disciplined but it is just once a week or so that I get terrible anxiety and it just feels so crappy and scary. A lot of it has to do with not being able to let go of my ego and having social anxiety and shyness. But I am getting better each day and every opportunity I take to interact with strangers builds my self-esteem and makes me a more confident person. I feel that as long as I can live from my heart then I will be able to have great relationships with people and I shouldn't have anything to be afraid of. I think the chemicals just get in the way of that and when I lack discipline. Thanks again for your thoughts!

 

ChiDrago - Thank you! I will look into Chi Kung but for now I am more focused on the Spring Forest QiGong.

 

JetSun - I really like your avatar picture! Very funny. I really like how Adyshanti says that about "you are not a problem to be solved." In so many spiritual paths they focus on living in the now and I think when you can live in the now you realize that you are perfect and are not a problem to be solved but a "being" to be "experienced." A Spiritual being having a human experience. I definitely agree that when I try to "improve" myself I am telling myself (consciously or subcounsciously) that I am not okay the way I am and that is really not faithful in God. Trusting the moment just as it is, "NOW" is the ultimate act of faith. And yes, it is definitely hard to approach spirituality and meditation practices without "Wanting" something out of it. I think we are very programmed with survival mentality to get lost in "wanting" mind very often. The more we can stay out of wanting mind it seems the happier we are. After all, the quality of life in America is far greater than it has ever been and much better than other countries so it's kind of like, What am I bitching or whining about? I should be grateful and do my part in helping those who don't have it as great as I do. There really is an exorbitant amount of beauty in the world and so many reasons to appreciate and be grateful for life, even when chaos is happening.

 

OldGreen - Thanks for your thoughts, I will try this!

 

Birch - Yes, I feel to that way to about the self-help industry although I do believe that there still are some genuine people out there that really do have a lot to teach and good wisdom to share. But, always take what they say with a grain of salt and always put it through your own intuition first. But it's definitely not good to get caught up in the "problem to be solved" nonsense. Thanks for sharing!

 

Hydrogen - Yes, like I said in my post I sort of feel "programmed" to fit in. I feel like I have to do certain things to play along with society's "game." I feel limited in my ability to just "do what I love." One thing that I really like to do is golfing but I feel like to golf every day is really hard given the winter and my job situation. I think that learning to be at peace with myself would be more beneficial. I am also trying to get in touch with my artistic side. I am slowly working through "The Artist's Way" book. I am not sure if you or anyone here has heard of it before but it had a big following in the 90's I believe. Slowly but surely I am working at doing things I like to do simply to enjoy them and not feel obligated to do them or doing them out of discipline. I also would like to get back into martial arts. I took a little karate and kung fu in college. Have you found a way to do what you love? Thanks for your thoughts!

 

Dmattwads - That is very interesting about the spleen Qi deficiency, I will look into that more. I am definitely going to keep up with the qigong. I will also remember not to be so hard on myself about it! Very wise advice! I will also look at Buddhist Anapana meditation. I really enjoy all that I have learned about Buddhism. Thanks again for all your input!

 

Joeblast - I actually hadn't heard that song before. I was going for the straight Arnold clip from Predator, very funny. I liked the song although I'm not a huge metal head. Thanks for sharing!

 

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Xs_OacEq2Sk" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

 

Chrid D - Thank you for sharing the Adyashanti video. I had not heard of him before. I have listened to the first two parts of the this and his voice is so calming and inspiring. I really love his ideas about just meditation with minimal effort and trying to get in touch with the "awareness" of the thoughts, beliefs and feelings. Very powerful words! Thank you!

 

Stosh - Yes the mind/body are definitely linked. I feel as though western medicine is becoming more and more open to ideas relating to mind/body connection. Although there is still lots of work to be done, I think in some way, western medicine is waking up to eastern ideas and that overall it will turn out good. It's hard to watch the negativity in the news and think this but that's what my intuition says at least. I definitely believe that attitude is a large portion of life, if not all of it. In many ways, your attitude is everything. I read Victor Frankl's book "Man's Search For Meaning" a while back and he talks about how you can pick your attitude in any given situation. He was in a Nazi concentration camp and was able to find meaning in it. I really like your advice on the focusing and it reminds me of just living in the now and how AA puts it, "One Day At A Time!" and "Easy Does It." Very simple pieces of advice but very profound when you can understand their meaning. It also reminds me of a Buddhist story:

 

A man walking across a field encounters a tiger. He fled, the tiger chasing after him. Coming to a cliff, he caught hold of a wild vine and swung himself over the edge. The tiger sniffed at him from above. Terrified, the man looked down to where, far below, another tiger had come, waiting to eat him. Two mice, one white and one black, little by little began to gnaw away at the vine. The man saw a luscious strawberry near him. Grasping the vine in one hand, he plucked the strawberry with the other. How sweet it tasted! [it was the best strawberry he had ever had.]

 

Korny, but very profound about how you really can cherish things in the now and I think that life gets better when you just live in the now. SO, I am going to keep trying to incorporate the practice of NOW into my life. I will also try to be more gentle with myself. Thanks again!

 

Mikem - Thank you very much for pointing this out and holding me accountable! I probably doubled the amount of "I's" I used in this post as with my first but I am doing my best to live from my heart and help other people. I help a lot of people through AA and I am very close to volunteering. I would really love to go and work at a hospice or some other similar type of volunteer work and I am very close to doing this. It just gets hard for me with the social anxiety and shyness. I think my ego just gets in the way and I don't feel good enough. But I am getting closer each day and soon enough I will be able to volunteer a significant amount of my time and sharing my love and service with people who need it. I will let you know how it goes. Thanks again I appreciate your words!

 

Thanks everyone for your words!!

[Gettodachopper69]

I just wanted to add my post from another topic to this thread that I created a while ago to show the before and after of the healing I received. I really do appreciate all the responses I got when I first posted this thread back on April 24th 2013.

 

Healing session:

 

Okay so I wanted to share my phone healing experience with Jim Nance...

 

Just a couple of notes, this was my 2nd healing, I have been doing QiGong for probably 4-5 months now inconsistently, meditating inconsistently for about a year and a half, have been celibate for about 23 days and have been really good about fasting from sexual thoughts over the past week.

 

I did the phone sessions for general anxiety.

 

The first phone session I did not really feel anything and here is what happened on my second session...

 

Jim asked me about my anxiety issues and if its always apparent or if it comes and goes. I told him how it comes and goes and how meditation, QiGong and eating healthy help a lot with it. He said okay and said he wants to do some work right now so just told me to relax. I can tell how the phone goes in and out of static sounding to silence.

 

The first five minutes I was not able to relax and did not feel anything, he asked me to walk him through what I was feeling and I said "not a whole lot, just trying to relax and clear my head", he said okay, just try to relax. Then two minutes later I just got a profound feeling of bliss and joy in my center (maybe heart chakra or something?) and the second after I felt that, he said "okay something just shifted now didn't it!" in a very laughing happy voice and I started laughing to and was actually trying hard to contain how much laughter I had. I said "yes it did, wow thats really cool."

 

We talked for a bit more and he did another quick minute of healing and I am going to do more phone sessions with him but he said to watch what happens over the next week. After the phone I just kept laughing and am filled with bliss and joy about life with renewed energy. I am so absolutely convinced at how real this all is and how powerful it can be! I wish the feelings I am having would never leave but I know thats probably not realistic but it has showed me what I can aim for with my practice.

 

Here is more on what it feels like:

 

It honestly feels like I took some sort of happy drug and my outlook on life is just so rejuvenated and suddenly the trees in the backyard look beautiful even on this rainy day and all of my favorite songs are just so incredibly intense and inspiring. I am lucky that I know some good music that is able to keep up with how wonderful I feel right now.

 

I have just about ZERO anxious thoughts, and if I do have a worrisome thought or fear, it lasts less than a second. I feel empowered to do good in this world and am confident that I will be able to accomplish all that I need to and help plenty of people along the way and just be a nice, kind and loving person in general.

 

My whole center fluctuates with warmth rushes of happy love energy and I have been laughing sporadically throughout the day, sometimes for no reason at all except that I just feel so joyous and free!!

 

The experience has been surreal for me!

 

Update: 6 days after healing session and 26 day of no FAP, no PMO or sexual thoughts (very minimal). Also, no caffeine, no excess/refined sugar for about a week now.

 

I feel incredible, what else do I have to say. I am on day 26 or something like that of no fapping, no PMO, minimal sexual thoughts, and I feel amazing. Much more confident. Hardly any social anxiety at all. No fear of girls, less intimidated by groups of girls and groups of people. I have lots of things to say. I feel smarter, I feel more in control of everyhing. I feel more positive and like people are more attracted to being around my energy in general. I feel like a positive energy magnet.

 

I played guitar today and sang without carring if people heard me and it sounded pretty good and I haven't played in well over 3 months. I am singing more to music. Music sounds better in general. Work is easier and I can communicate like an executive with my coworkers and people at the office. I am a collaborater and an idea person. I am doing so well and I just feel so happy and joyful and full of life. I had an interview yesterday for a better job and I absolutely nailed it!

 

I feel like I have all the good effects of adderal and coffee combined without any of the negative side effects. I feel less addicted to things. I feel less like I am questioning my life or the "why" behind doing something. Instead I am just doing what feels natural and what I want to do and enjoying every moment of it. I am so much less afraid of things, less afraid of outcomes at work, less afraid of people, money, not worrying about things, not worried about things on the news.

 

Just genuinely happy and so willing to help people. I really hope I stay like this for as long as possible. I want to tell so many people I know how wonderful this is but then I remind myself that some people just are not ready for something like this and are so limited in their thinking that they won't understand it and just brush it off. But wow, just unbelievably amazing, who knew life could be so wonderful!

 

Thank you all for your help, I am very grateful!!

[voidisyinyang]

Sounds like qigong master Jim Nance did a permanent healing on you along with your qigong practice of course! That is awesome!!

 

I am very impressed with your training and congratulations on such amazing results!!

[RiverSnake]

 

But wow, just unbelievably amazing, who knew life could be so wonderful!

 

Thank you all for your help, I am very grateful!!

Indeed, not many people know how beautiful and enjoyable life can be. I am glad you were able to discover this for yourself.

 

My 2 cents, Peace

Edited June 13, 2013 by OldGreen