PUA and Spirituality

[Maddie]

First of all, it is not as simple as trying to help = good. Think about it. Have you never been put off by someone who wanted to help you? Perhaps because you didn't want or ask for their help. Perhaps because you didn't want to change your situation in the first place. Perhaps because the person trying to help you was clearly more interested in feeling good about them self than helping you. I'm sure there are plenty more reasons to feel put off by someone trying to help you.

 

Second, I most certainly did not "present a problem" in the first post I made. If you go back and read, you'll see that I was merely telling a story about my life, and explicitly stated that I was confident that I was on the right track to heal. Despite this, you inferred that I was presenting a problem and needed your help, and this is precisely what put me off in this particular circumstance. Well, that and the feeling that it was presumptuous of you to dictate a diagnosis and prescription. Like "Who is this guy who has never had a personal conversation with me yet thinks he can just tell me 'it's all in your head; meditate and your problem will dissolve' just from reading one post?" Friendly advice would have gone over much better.

 

I realize that from an "enlightened" perspective this is just my ego taking things personally (and I must point out that my ego was especially vulnerable because I was publicly sharing about such a painful and private issue). It was great practice for me to try to let go and not get so offended. I went back and read your posts and they didn't push my buttons anymore. But if you want to be a healer be advised that I am not the only person out their with a fragile ego, especially when talking about painful private issues.

 

At least you have cogniscience of the effects of ego so you have that going for you so that's good.

 

There is this guy at my school and he does not have cogniscience of the effects of his ego upon him and he is one miserable frustrated bloke. It's doubly frustrating because you watch him go around frustrated and suffering but since he refuses any attempts to offer insight into the effects of ego and his great amounts of repressed anger the suffering continues.

 

So basically what is going on with this guy is very typical of the common frustrated beta male pattern. He has a lot of unresolved ego issues which lead to smoldering repressed inner anger. This anger expresses itself in subtle and minor body language and facial expressions which he is unaware of because its on a subconscious level and he refuses to look within. So its a vicious catch 22 feedback loop. He puts people off because he has repressed anger and because they get put off he becomes further frustrated just adding to his repressed anger.

 

In the past I tried to help him by pointing this pattern out with the hopes he would become conscious of it and thus resolve this issues so he could be happier in life, but the difficulty with this is that because he has such large amounts of entrenched repressed anger this causes him to perceive any attempts to help him as a threat to his ego thus causing him to react with more anger thus deepening the pattern. Realizing that this was his tendency I decided that the most compassionate thing to do in his case was to say nothing as to not add the repressed anger that is entrenched within his liver.

 

Another unfortunate condition of this situation is that the liver is the general in the ministerial system classification of the organ network. Being the case it is most related to our sense of "justice". If too much smoldering wood element qi stagnates with in the liver our sense of justice will become corrupted and instead of having an appropriate understanding of cause and effect which would be taking appropriate responsibility for our actions (true justice) it causes us to have a "false justice" in which we place ourselves in the victim role even when we don't belong there. When we then feel like a victim for the effects of our own causes this further reinforces the negative feedback loop of a dysfunctional liver perpetuating the cycle.

 

Unfortunately because this negative feedback loop is so deeply entrenched with in him it is likely that it will continue to cause him considerable suffering for some time to come.

[Creation]

Even as I accepted responsibility for my resentment of your advice, please do take this away from the discussion: People will respond sub-optimally to your attempts to help if you talk to from "outside" and "above", that is, like specimens you are observing and and mentally theorizing about, and dictating to them what they should do, respectively.

 

If I had to guess, this is something you have done your entire life, and you you probably don't even notice that you are doing it or realize that it would be possible to do otherwise. So heads up.

Edited May 26, 2013 by Creation

[nine tailed fox]

I am hesitant to post this here, but maybe something interesting will come of it.

 

I am 23, and I have never had a girlfriend or had sex. I used to think that girls didn't find me attractive. Well, when I started paying attention I realized that they in fact do find me attractive. Just yesterday I was walking by a group of girls I had never met and one says "Hey sexy" as I walk by. I regularly see girls checking me out of the corner of my eye. So that's a step in the right direction. But when I try to interact with people, I normally feel a flatness, a deadness, like "I don't care" "I'm not interested". But in the case I am interested, it somehow never gets past that initial attraction. Sometimes they flake, sometimes they put me in the friend zone, sometimes they move on to another guy when they realize I am not going to reciprocate. They certainly haven't done anything to pursue me, like some of the guys here who are uninterested but beating potential partners off with a stick, LOL, but I suppose that is understandable given how stagnant my emotional energy is.

 

I have been been trying to find a more satisfying way of relating to people in general and women in particular for years now, with limited success. I have looked a lot a lot of dating and relating advice stuff, and learned a lot that will probably be useful at some point, but none of that material has done much to get me past the deep emotional and psychological blocks I have. Such as extreme feelings of isolation, rejection, unwantedness, unworthiness, high standards for and criticalness of potential partners, and intense fear of intimacy, physical or emotional. Mostly their philosophy for this type of stuff is hypnosis and affirmations, which really don't clear out the old gunk to make room for the new, and "clearing" techniques like EFT never worked for me either. The blocks around intimacy in particular hold me up from even taking a first step. Yesterday I tried gently and lovingly caressing my own skin, and I started screaming, then crying. That happens every time I try that. It's like I have all these clogged up emotions around not experiencing love and intimacy that I am unable to receive love and intimacy, even from myself. To be open to loving intimacy with a woman would mean opening up to all that pain with her. Which is terrifying. Because I know that is not something most women want, or could handle.

 

There are a lot of absurd things in this world.

 

Still, at this point I am quite confident that I am heading in the right direction with the work I am doing with myself. I can tell that the emotional baggage is being reduced and that it's just a matter of time and effort.

 

i think the problem is

 

you are cute/handsome but you are not attractive, i mean you probably dont have that sex appeal

 

actually one of the reasons for me to make this thread was to know how can you more more attractive , how can you increase your sex appeal

 

sex appeal is a non physical thing so i think it is possible to increase it

 

i will give you an example

 

look there are too women who live next to my house

 

one woman whom has very good features and complexion ( she has beautiful features considering indian beauty standard)

 

she has big eyes, fair complexion and good face structure

 

the other one not necessarely have ideal features,she has small eyes, good complexion but she is extremely attractive

 

 

so the thing is i would never ever sleep with the first women even though people call her beautiful (they dont call her attractive)

 

but the other women , i would just love to have sex with her, she has something

 

so it shows that attraction matters

 

generally people are attracted because they wanna have sex (its in the subconscious you cant change it)

 

so you would naturally feel attracted to someone who is sexy

 

so what matters is how attractive you are and how much sex appeal you ooze

 

btw did i tell you that both women are married

[voidisyinyang]

 

This has got a lot of PUA inside-info.

 

I'm waiting for Joe to diss yoga somewhere in this podcast....

[Maddie]

Even as I accepted responsibility for my resentment of your advice, please do take this away from the discussion: People will respond sub-optimally to your attempts to help if you talk to from "outside" and "above", that is, like specimens you are observing and and mentally theorizing about, and dictating to them what they should do, respectively.

 

If I had to guess, this is something you have done your entire life, and you you probably don't even notice that you are doing it or realize that it would be possible to do otherwise. So heads up.

 

I realize I'm analytical, this is a trait that the Buddha encourages, so yes of course I notice that I do it because I do it to myself constantly lol, its how one develops insight. My analysis isn't what is making you upset though. If analysis made people upset then other people to whom I offer insight would also be resentful yet many people are grateful as they apply the insight to their specific problem and it helps them to solve the problem. Granted I notice females tend to respond this way more often than males, and this is probably due to their yin (receptive) nature.

 

What in actuality is making you upset is your perception of what I'm saying, your conception of its content, your volition or judgement of its meaning, and your consciousness or awareness of this process, thus the five skandhas in action. Most likely due to habit and conditioning even this insight (which I'm speaking of now) is going to produce anger within you, but this does not have to be the case. Rather an alternative reaction to such insight as opposed to an anger reaction could be a wisdom reaction. That is these teachings of the Buddha can be applied to ones life to reduce suffering. My point of view was never one of "outside" and "above" but I won't argue that you perceived it that way. I assure you my motive was not one of condescension or judgment but rather I was trying to be helpful.

 

So like I was saying in my previous post, anger held onto not only causes the one feeling anger to suffer from the emotion directly, but that particular vibration repels the very object of one's desire thus producing further feelings of anger and frustration. So understand me pointing out this trend is not my thinking that I'm better than you, but after having first realized it in myself through introspection I'm attempting to point it out to you so that you can step out of the very pattern that frustrates you. Hope that helps. I'm not going to say any more about this.

Edited May 26, 2013 by dmattwads

[Jetsun]

 

At least you have cogniscience of the effects of ego so you have that going for you so that's good.

 

There is this guy at my school and he does not have cogniscience of the effects of his ego upon him and he is one miserable frustrated bloke. It's doubly frustrating because you watch him go around frustrated and suffering but since he refuses any attempts to offer insight into the effects of ego and his great amounts of repressed anger the suffering continues.

 

So basically what is going on with this guy is very typical of the common frustrated beta male pattern. He has a lot of unresolved ego issues which lead to smoldering repressed inner anger. This anger expresses itself in subtle and minor body language and facial expressions which he is unaware of because its on a subconscious level and he refuses to look within. So its a vicious catch 22 feedback loop. He puts people off because he has repressed anger and because they get put off he becomes further frustrated just adding to his repressed anger.

 

In the past I tried to help him by pointing this pattern out with the hopes he would become conscious of it and thus resolve this issues so he could be happier in life, but the difficulty with this is that because he has such large amounts of entrenched repressed anger this causes him to perceive any attempts to help him as a threat to his ego thus causing him to react with more anger thus deepening the pattern. Realizing that this was his tendency I decided that the most compassionate thing to do in his case was to say nothing as to not add the repressed anger that is entrenched within his liver.

 

Another unfortunate condition of this situation is that the liver is the general in the ministerial system classification of the organ network. Being the case it is most related to our sense of "justice". If too much smoldering wood element qi stagnates with in the liver our sense of justice will become corrupted and instead of having an appropriate understanding of cause and effect which would be taking appropriate responsibility for our actions (true justice) it causes us to have a "false justice" in which we place ourselves in the victim role even when we don't belong there. When we then feel like a victim for the effects of our own causes this further reinforces the negative feedback loop of a dysfunctional liver perpetuating the cycle.

 

Unfortunately because this negative feedback loop is so deeply entrenched with in him it is likely that it will continue to cause him considerable suffering for some time to come.

Maybe this guy needs this experience to grow, half the teachers in the spiritual community spend many years in misery and anger before they wake up, some of them suddenly over night. Even if it looks like they will spend years in the same cycle you don't actually know they will, that is the nature of emptiness. If you are completely honest it is almost impossible to really know what will happen in the next moment, the mind projects what it thinks will happen onto the world and then we take it as reality, but if you analyse it enough the mind really doesn't know, it is assuming and projecting and then we are shocked or suffer when life doesn't match our assumptions.

[gendao]

You gotta be good looking like President Obama

Black men are racially-profiled as macho bad boys. That alphaesque archetype alone can override looks or any character defects..

Rapper Shawty Lo is pictured with his 11 children and their 10 mothers in an online video promoting the planned Oxygen TV special “All My Babies’ Mamas.”

Well, when I started paying attention I realized that they in fact do find me attractive. Just yesterday I was walking by a group of girls I had never met and one says "Hey sexy" as I walk by. I regularly see girls checking me out of the corner of my eye.

 

none of that material has done much to get me past the deep emotional and psychological blocks I have. Such as extreme feelings of isolation, rejection, unwantedness, unworthiness, high standards for and criticalness of potential partners, and intense fear of intimacy, physical or emotional. Mostly their philosophy for this type of stuff is hypnosis and affirmations, which really don't clear out the old gunk to make room for the new, and "clearing" techniques like EFT never worked for me either. The blocks around intimacy in particular hold me up from even taking a first step. Yesterday I tried gently and lovingly caressing my own skin, and I started screaming, then crying. That happens every time I try that. It's like I have all these clogged up emotions around not experiencing love and intimacy that I am unable to receive love and intimacy, even from myself. To be open to loving intimacy with a woman would mean opening up to all that pain with her. Which is terrifying. Because I know that is not something most women want, or could handle.

 

Still, at this point I am quite confident that I am heading in the right direction with the work I am doing with myself. I can tell that the emotional baggage is being reduced and that it's just a matter of time and effort.

Hey, that's more than most guys ever get!

 

And it makes sense that if you have a LOT of repressed pain, you would fear intimacy because that would open that giant wound. Therefore, you subconsciously repel any intimate relationships. So, as you slowly purge that pain out of yourself, you will steadily decrease your fear of intimacy and relationships.

 

Pretty stunning insights for a guy of just 23!!!

Thats a good question. I have never known anyone who was unable to attract someone, no. Not ever... I have known people very out of shape who have found partners, people very thin and neurotic who have found partners, people who are to me, deeply tedious who have found partners. To be honest, my viewpoint is that people want to be together.

Not to say that people dont have dry spells where the pool looks devoid of possibilities.

Currently I know one of a woman who is having a long dry spell. She ticks the boxes, on the outside, she's slim, presentable, attractive. but in her head she has a strong script of what her next partner must be like.. and she hasnt found him yet.. I see her script as limiting her a good deal, and blocking her ability to meet anyone of an unexpected nature. If she doesnt ease up on her list of wants, I think she may stay solo.

 

A member of family suffered quite a lot of facial paralysis and brain damage at an early age, it affected her looks radically, her mood and personality, we were all pretty concerned at how life would pan out for her. She fell in love and got married and had children.

 

I dont mean to minimise the pain of being single, and how painful it must be to feel unable to find a partner. I'm sorry if I appear to be doing that. I am sorry if I appear glib or priveleged about relationships, that must be kind of irritating..

Any examples of men found less attractive by women and so perpetually-single? There have been numerous young males on this site alone struggling with this today. They all stumble through here with the same syndrome on a regular basis now. And many of them are not physically deformed, but "yin"-natured and above-average intelligence, if anything.

 

I've heard of a number amongst certain groups of men living in North America who were very relationship-inexperienced or virgins into their 40s. Again, all stereotyped as or fitting the general characteristics mentioned above (quiet, smart, introspective, physically "yin," etc.). Essentially, the type of well-behaved men that feminists would have no beef with and ideologically want - yet appear in practice the most unwanted amongst men.

 

Whereas, I think I would be VERY hard-pressed to find any female virgins past age 21 anymore... Most American girls lost theirs in the mid-teens (18 considered late). Anything beyond 18 for a girl is considered "freakish" now.

Another unfortunate condition of this situation is that the liver is the general in the ministerial system classification of the organ network. Being the case it is most related to our sense of "justice". If too much smoldering wood element qi stagnates with in the liver our sense of justice will become corrupted and instead of having an appropriate understanding of cause and effect which would be taking appropriate responsibility for our actions (true justice) it causes us to have a "false justice" in which we place ourselves in the victim role even when we don't belong there. When we then feel like a victim for the effects of our own causes this further reinforces the negative feedback loop of a dysfunctional liver perpetuating the cycle.

Interesting, so in addition to the 5 phase circle jerk, is there also a top-down chain-of-command? Could you outline how the rest of the organs fall into this hierarchy then?

Edited May 26, 2013 by vortex

[RongzomFan]

So let me get this straight.

In PUA, you can do a few jedi mind tricks and get a lot of hot girls?

 

Women are that stupid?

[skydog]

ya im pretty sure who i intended the post for read it

Edited May 26, 2013 by sinansencer

[Immortal4life]

 

And it makes sense that if you have a LOT of repressed pain, you would fear intimacy because that would open that giant wound. Therefore, you subconsciously repel any intimate relationships. So, as you slowly purge that pain out of yourself, you will steadily decrease your fear of intimacy and relationships.

 

Pretty stunning insights for a guy of just 23!!!

 

Any examples of men found less attractive by women and so perpetually-single? There have been numerous young males on this site alone struggling with this today. They all stumble through here with the same syndrome on a regular basis now. And many of them are not physically deformed, but "yin"-natured and above-average intelligence, if anything.

 

I've heard of a number amongst certain groups of men living in North America who were very relationship-inexperienced or virgins into their 40s. Again, all stereotyped as or fitting the general characteristics mentioned above (quiet, smart, introspective, physically "yin," etc.). Essentially, the type of well-behaved men that feminists would have no beef with and ideologically want - yet appear in practice the most unwanted amongst men.

 

Yeah we have definitely seen this pattern, among many posters on this forum over the last few years.

 

Coincidently, I just yesterday, stumbled upon some videos about this very subject. You never hear about this condition in the media, no one ever talks about it. These people call themselves Incel's or Involuntary celibates.

 

I almost hesitate to post about this, because I do think a lot of these people have very unhealthy views about themselves, the world, and especially women. These men are usually 100% convinced that they are ugly, unattractive, and will never get a girl they actually want and like.

 

The problem is that while some of these factors do affect them, their own beliefs hurt them even more. It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. They believe they aren't attractive because they don't get girls, but they also don't get girls because they believe they aren't attractive.

 

Documentary called Shy Boys, IRL -

http://vimeo.com/28466163

 

Incels-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4jXJDUE7H4

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X98yHkJ7MA8

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5anjojdahU

 

I really don't know what to do for these men. From what i can tell, none of them would ever believe they could be attractive to women, or that it's possible to learn to be attractive to women.

 

They are kind of screwed, in this society they really don't have any options other than to say fuck it, I can meet girls. They will never believe it. It's a social problem, but they are also causing themselves problems too, So they get beat down by the competitive society, but also from themselves.

 

The only way would be for a hot girl, to approach them out of pity, because they feel sorry for them....not likely to ever happen.

Edited May 26, 2013 by Immortal4life

[Immortal4life]

Dr Carpenter talks about Incels-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KzaB0ut3xg

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4e6Gizp0cuU

 

Dr. Gilmartin-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecYpk2Mb_kM

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65XVyVm1Wq0

[Immortal4life]

So let me get this straight.

 

In PUA, you can do a few jedi mind tricks and get a lot of hot girls?

 

Women are that stupid?

 

I'm not so sure it works like that. I don't think you can trick anyone into anything. When you have some go to responses in your bag of tricks though, it does show that you have a certain social intelligence, and this is actually genuine, because you did put the effort in to develop your social skills.

[Maddie]

Whereas, I think I would be VERY hard-pressed to find any female virgins past age 21 anymore... Most American girls lost theirs in the mid-teens (18 considered late). Anything beyond 18 for a girl is considered "freakish" now.

Interesting, so in addition to the 5 phase circle jerk, is there also a top-down chain-of-command? Could you outline how the rest of the organs fall into this hierarchy then?

 

Sure. So basically the ancient Chinese considered the human body a microcosm of the kingdom. So the heart was the emperor as it housed the Shen/mind/spirit. Everything else depended on the emperor issuing good orders and providing clear direction. The pericardium was likened to the captain of the emperor's guard. He decided who could and could not have access to the emperor. The small intestine was considered to be the wall around the forbidden city. It also was meant to protect the emperor, and like the guards at the gate of the forbidden city it decided who could come in to the city. The outer most layer was the san jiao or triple burner and this was likened to the great wall that went around the whole kingdom. So that's the whole fire element network.

 

The Lung is considered the prime minister. Containing the Po or corporeal soul which is our animal nature it was meant to handle the routine tasks as to not bother the emperor with such trivialities.

 

The Liver is the general and contains the Hun ethereal soul. The general is responsible for strategy, plans, decision making, problem solving and direction. People who are very angry and ruled by passion (as this is the emotion of the liver) are likened to the general throwing a coup against the emperor since the righteous mind of the emperor no longer rules the kingdom.

 

The Spleen is the minister of the grainery. This is kind of like what Joseph did in the bible story in Egypt. He made sure the kingdom had enough grain stored up to eat, thus the spleen can tend to worry lol.

 

The Kidney's are the minters of energy. Its their job to store and distribute energy. Kind of like the department of energy in the presidents cabinet.

[theurgy]

With my history, I assume that there must be something creepy or off-putting about me and I feel pretty desperate for someone to give me some feedback on it what it is. Like "WHAT AM I DOING WRONG PLEASE TELL ME" So I'm quite sure that I would have taken it the same way in person.

 

I imagine that some dating gurus would tell me that the only thing that is creepy and off putting about me is my belief that there is seeming creepy and off putting about me, as amplified by my desperation to know what it is and what to do about it. Which is a very spiritual idea, to come back to topic. It's just a mirage, an illusion, a shadow in the room at night that I mistake for a person.

 

This will sound trite but really you must develop Self-Love. Stop wounding yourself with all the criticism. Our beliefs create our reality as you already know by now. I recommend sitting upright in a chair in front of a mirror and using a method from Huna with a twist. Gaze at your reflection and open your heart and say to yourself "I'm sorry. Please Forgive Me. Thank You. I love you."

 

You are apologizing to your Self for all the memories of embarrassing situations and negative self-talk/beliefs you are holding onto. It's important to be honest about just how much we abuse ourselves. Repeat the mantra for every new thought/memory that arises. This technique dissolves blockages.

 

Finally after lots of information comes into your awareness, ask your Subconscious mind to release all of the painful data back to the Tao/Absolute/God.

 

I myself have used this technique to great effect after previously writing it off as New-Agey. Try it.

[theurgy]

I really don't know what to do for these men. From what i can tell, none of them would ever believe they could be attractive to women, or that it's possible to learn to be attractive to women.

 

The only way would be for a hot girl, to approach them out of pity, because they feel sorry for them....not likely to ever happen.

 

This is something I have pondered. Sometimes one needs a radical approach. On this forum we often say "Love yourself more, meditate, etc" (I just did). But perhaps the single best thing to do would be to hire the hottest escort you can find and explain that she's going to get to "deflower" a virgin. If you get the right girl she will rock that young man's world and create an imprint that will last a lifetime. Think about it: if you lose your virginity to the hottest girl you can imagine your confidence will skyrocket and girls will no longer be a mystery as you've already had the holy grail.

 

Not the most "spiritual" approach but it makes me smile to think of making this happen for a brother in need

[RongzomFan]

now shit is just getting even more weird.

Edited May 26, 2013 by alwayson

[Sloppy Zhang]

So let me get this straight.

 

In PUA, you can do a few jedi mind tricks and get a lot of hot girls?

 

Women are that stupid?

 

It's not "jedi mind tricks" to get women.

 

It's understanding what traits women look for in a man, and either displaying those traits (which you have but never show) or developing those traits (if you don't have the traits, you get them).

 

Self confidence, outcome independence, a sense of non-neediness, a bit of cocky humor/playfulness, etc.

 

Women take a lot of factors into account when judging a man's attractiveness. It's more than just physical (which is why you do see attractive women with men who are not as equally attractive), but it's also more than just emotional (which is why "nice guys" can't get a girl).

 

It really is a whole picture kind of thing. How he looks, how he carries himself, how he interacts with others (men and women), how he interacts with her, how he handles obstacles, etc.

 

These get her to say "you know, this guy seems to have something, so I'm going to continue forward." And she might either find out that you're a totally uncaring abusive narcissistic asshole. Or she might find that you're an empathetic, caring, conscientious guy.

 

But you have to know the traits that women "screen" for, and how to display them.

[Sloppy Zhang]

This is something I have pondered. Sometimes one needs a radical approach. On this forum we often say "Love yourself more, meditate, etc" (I just did). But perhaps the single best thing to do would be to hire the hottest escort you can find and explain that she's going to get to "deflower" a virgin. If you get the right girl she will rock that young man's world and create an imprint that will last a lifetime. Think about it: if you lose your virginity to the hottest girl you can imagine your confidence will skyrocket and girls will no longer be a mystery as you've already had the holy grail.

 

Not the most "spiritual" approach but it makes me smile to think of making this happen for a brother in need

 

I'm not completely opposed to this strategy.

 

I was a virgin up until my senior year of college. I got introduced to this blog from a discussion here on TTB's, http://heartiste.wordpress.com/

 

And decided that in my last year of college, I'd put that knowledge to good use and get laid.

 

So I found a few girls that I wouldn't mind banging, and started gaming them. One of them I got to know really well, we started fooling around, I got to know her really well, and wound up falling for her. Then we made love/fucked and we're still dating a year and a half later.

 

I'm not the first guy she's been with, but I'm by far the best

 

I'm a naturally nice guy, but I also understand why women find the "bad boys" attractive. So I act impulsively, I keep things fresh, change it up, handle pressure with grace, and I don't sweat the small stuff.

 

The biggest sources of anxiety, and what took the longest to get over, was just the plain logistics of sex. Will I get the condom on? Will I keep it up? Will she know I don't know what I'm doing? What did the other guys do with her? What did she do with them?

 

The fear of the unknown AND the fear of what she would think were the two biggest drivers of anxiety.

 

Young bloomers who have their first encounter in the 14-16 range where neither of them know what they're doing and their partner is probably not a "serious love" is much different than when you're in the 22-25 range and you're seriously liking this person, you both might have put a good amount of time and finances into each other, and you want to make it "work." More anxiety.

 

Getting someone just comfortable with the physical act of sex in a 100% no judgment zone sounds like a great plan.

 

 

Unless he falls for the escort

[Immortal4life]

More for the hard cases-

[Immortal4life]

now shit is just getting even more weird.

Yeah let's get away from depressing things, and on to more Awesomeness!

 

http://www.rsdnation.com/jlaix/blog/get-more-girls

 

 

Meet Evil Stiffler-

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQ24IVUvhdg

 

In field-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TF_6Xqspn-o

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKzItO1Rm4o

[liminal_luke]

I also think it's a false categorization to label some girls as "drunk club sluts" and others as "normal". Some girls in clubs who like to party will be hard to crack, but some girl in a park reading a book, or off the internet, or wherever, who seems so sweet and wholesome is actually a total bad girl deep down and is totally dtf.

 

Women who want to have sex are bad???

[Immortal4life]

So very, very bad. It's ok though I don't judge, and is kinda why I love them.

Edited May 26, 2013 by Immortal4life

[Immortal4life]

Julien in field-