How to help a terminally ill but incredible sturdy person who is unfortunatelly resistant to change?

[4bsolute]

Hello dear ones,

 

I guess this is a prime example everyone has at least one or two people with such attributes and attitude in his or her family. THE ultimate challenge:

 

A person who is terminally ill, caused by his oder her own emotional eating habits. Ontop of that, this person is resistant to change, addicted to the food he or she eats of course And due to the overconsumption of chemical (imbalance) from said food, so emotionally charged that every previous attempt ended up in an arguement. And this is not the real end to it. He or she is constantly under medication, visits hospitals very often And is depressed about his or her own situation.

 

So yeah, everything you can imagine in one box. Everything. Probably even a challenge to Jesus himself - lol

 

We dont want to be ignorant, we want to help. How do we do it? Super, super passively, explaining him or her the real deal about food is (actual medication), how it affects the body and that we should at best only eat fresh from mother earth? And then bring the person the food, maybe make it secretly more tasty that it is?

 

I'm looking forward to your words, hopefully with a personal background of actual experience in that field. Much as I'd like to... but theory is not helpful here.

 

PS: He or she is a little over 80 but to all of my family members who are awakening, it is obvious that she has worked off SO MUCH karma in this lifetime, that despite her physical health, she could live for another 20. But I really want to end her suffering.

Edited May 21, 2013 by 4bsolute

[hydrogen]

. But I really want to end her suffering.

 

Remind me a line "I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it".

 

How do you know he is suffering?

 

If you really want to help him, ask him what he wants and help him with what he wants.

If you really want to hellp yourself, figure out what you want yourself and make it happen.

 

"I can't be happy because there are African kids starving" gets no resonant from me.

"I know what's better for him than himself" will send me running away for I smell holy war.

[4bsolute]

Remind me a line "I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it".

 

How do you know he is suffering?

 

If you really want to help him, ask him what he wants and help him with what he wants.

If you really want to hellp yourself, figure out what you want yourself and make it happen.

 

"I can't be happy because there are African kids starving" gets no resonant from me.

"I know what's better for him than himself" will send me running away for I smell holy war.

 

It always comes down to personal questions, doesn't it?

 

Okay.

 

What about he or she tells me now that he or she does not even know what he or she wants? Can you see the loop of doom? I had a time where I steered clear off someone who told me that he does not know what he wants, I know the feeling of your last lines...

Edited May 21, 2013 by 4bsolute

[ChiForce]

Well, I am having similar situation. Kind of. My grandmother on my father side is recently diagnosed with cancer. She is in her 86. She was never a kind person. She has caused many great karmas in her life time. When I do see her, which is rarely, I have to put up a wall in front of me so that her karmas does not affect me. We, my family, aren't that close to her. She does not have a lot of times to live. I am hoping she would make peace with herself at one point. Not with me but at least with those she hurts in her life time.

 

In another notes, my grand mother on my mother side, of who I have attachment too, she began to practice Buddhism after she was diagnosed with a serious stage of diabete. She passed away in her 60s. I dream of her many times and I hope in her next life she would be reborn again and living in a more better social situation. She was brought up during the Japanese occupation in Hong Kong, during WWII. As a little girl, she used to constantly seeing dead bodies on the streets. That what she used to tell us.

 

In your case, are you attached to this person in anyway. Is there a good reason for you to become attached to them. If not, don't cling on that feeling. Just let them be. If the prospect of dying isn't enough incentives to reflect and to re-evaluate one's life habits, these people are hopeless. The only thing you can do is to hope that there is some slight wisdom in them to see that it is bad karma to die without changing one's life bad habits.

[hydrogen]

What about he or she tells me now that he or she does not even know what he or she wants? Can you see the loop of doom? I had a time where I steered clear off someone who told me that he does not know what he wants, I know the feeling of your last lines...

 

We all have that moment that we don't know what we want.

 

Is he in the stage that he cause physically harm to himself directly?

 

Does he want to enjoy the rest of his time on earth as enjoyable as possible? Or does he want to stay on earth as long as possible? Or does he secretly deny death?

 

You can only do your part. He has to do his part. Not all kids grow up to be doctors. Not all elderlies die happy.

[Stosh]

As I read it ,

Lao and Chuang would've told you to mind your own business.

Leaving folks to their own ways can be considered quite charitable and harmonious

Folks often ask for it by name as in

butt out !

and more commonly fxxx-off axxhxxx

regardless of your good intent.

I read in eskimo-inuit cultures is is considered the height of intrusion

to tell someone else what they should do.

 

If they ask thats a different thing ,

but even then, you might not have a slam dunk

because 'asking' only requests your input

it hardly ever changes anyones mind about things

to the extent that they will heed the advice

Its highly likely that all it will do is make the person

feel rejected just that much more.

 

But thats just my hardaxxed opinion... which I rightly figure will be ignored exactly like I just described.

Edited May 21, 2013 by Stosh