Loneliness and Lack of Connection

[thelerner]

I've been reading threads from members about how isolated they feel. It's probably not just young people either. I don't know if its epidemic in our society, but its pretty common, more so then it used to be. We don't connect because we don't have to. We have forums, computer games, TV, videos, facebook tons of choices and faux relationships to entertain and fill our time 24/7. We don't need to look to others and too often we don't.

 

We don't have the opportunity to meet others and too often ignore old friends. Meeting others has become a niche event instead of common place.

 

There's no easy solutions. Self confidence helps. A great builder of that is the Secret Smile. If people are interested google or use search here for the directions. It's basically running positive emotional energy through the orbits ie relaxation, confidence, humor and sexual. It's fast and works well, but to have a real effect it needs to be done consistently.

 

The second, because meeting a niche event, people need to get out there comfort zone and join up with something. Then use that connection to make friends- actively call people to do things.

 

That's my two cents on the subject, but its an important one that's affecting our lives.

 

 

[Tom Lin]

Loneliness? Once you begin to learn how to communicate with your spirit guides, life is anything but lonely..

[dogson]

i'm gunna come right out and say this - as a guy, if you're fapping, that kind of loneliness and existential angst is almost guarenteed. Because you're literally looking out there for energy, trying to draw it in from somewhere, and the strongest energy of course is what we get from other people.

 

When I started hanging out in R/NoFap on reddit and doing streaks of 7, 10, 15 days that just went away for me.

I'm new to this community but I'm sure the idea of conserving fluids and building up jing is discussed a lot. For me, it makes an immense difference.

 

There's also a factor of neuro-pathways when using a computer - I find the more I meditate, I can differentiate really subtle degrees of this, like I can drop into a habitual mode where I feel the need to "look for" something - it's a conditioned pleasure response in my brain from getting emails from loved ones, etc. I feel it now just as a shimmer, and I can center myself again, but for years I would get dragged into hours of zombie-mode internet addiction from that need for energy.

 

Secret smile is awesome. Reading books is awesome. Taking walks, listening to music, anything to give yourself a separator state. The trick is knowing if you're in an internet hole in the first place. . .

[i am]

It is interesting. I'm very rarely lonely, and when I am, it's when I'm away from people, never when I'm surrounded by them. And even that rarely happens.

 

I don't know if its me personally, or if its due to how I live my life. I crave human interaction more as I get older, but I crave solo time just as much.

 

Would be intersting to talk to someone my age, who gets lonely a lot, and really explore what's going on.

 

With teens especially, loneliness, isolation and general moodiness just come with the territory...Not sure trying to relate to that again would be of much use to me. Once you're in your late 20s, into your thirties, you get a lot more confidence and kind of figure yourself out. That causes less of a need to be accepted by others...which often leads to more meaningful relationships. But it sounds like a lot of seniors suffer from loneliness, so something must start happening again as you get really old.

 

That's why, long before I really took Taoism all that seriously, I was attracted to it. The whole "figure yourself out first, then go out into the world". If you know yourself, you know which people are good for you and which aren't, and you have much higher quality relationships. Which matters way more than quantity, obviously.

Edited May 24, 2013 by i am

[hydrogen]

Yes. Loneliness is hard for me as well. I have to accept it as part of pakage in life. Having experienced depression, I know that I can feel loneliness amongst family and friend in a festive occassion. I also know that I'm the only key holder to my heart. It's my responsibility. I can't transfer the duty to others.

 

Anyway, I love this forum. I believe any form of connection is better than none. So many people here have helped me. As a social gethering place. This forum is better than any bar/club I've been to.

 

And this is a good training ground for people are super nicer here than usual places. If I can't make a civilized conversation here, it's unlikely I'll make any friends outside in the "real" world.

[Maddie]

I think the reason many people feel "loneliness" is because when they are by themselves they are left with only their own minds which is what most people are trying so desperately hard to get away from in the first place. My roommate is this way, she literally can not bear to be by herself, she always has to be around someone. I think I must totally baffle her cause I try to be alone as much as humanly possible so that I can be with myself, not escape myself lol.