Love Shys, Involuntary Celibates, True Forced Loneliness, etc.

[Immortal4life]

It seems to me that spirituality forums, and especially this place, have a consistent record of attracting guys who basically, for whatever reason, can't attract women.

 

I'm not sure why this is.

 

They always get strong reactions from other posters, and often create a commotion. Some people call them sexist, blame them for their own problems, women rarely can grasp the concept of involuntary celibacy, etc. They don't bother me, and if anything I tend to sympathize. I understand that if someone is in their 20s and is a virgin, they are socially far behind most other males, and are considered weird by society. This in turn makes them even more hopeless.

 

The Documentary Shy Boys: IRL

http://vimeo.com/28466163

 

More-

 

 

Clips from the Documentary-

 

Incels-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4jXJDUE7H4

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X98yHkJ7MA8

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5anjojdahU

 

Dr. Carpenter-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KzaB0ut3xg

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4e6Gizp0cuU

 

Dr. GIlmartin-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecYpk2Mb_kM

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65XVyVm1Wq0

 

 

Edited June 20, 2013 by Immortal4life

[Flolfolil]

i think i gave myself aspergers when i decided i didn't want to assume things about what people are thinking. it pretty much disabled my "understand social cues and sayings" sense completely

[xor]

Society places too much value on sex. I'd like to think that you can be perfectly happy without having had sex ever. If I wasn't with my partner, I'd probably go full celibate. Maybe what these guys need is another option and encouragement that they don't need sex to be happy?

[xor]

i think i gave myself aspergers when i decided i didn't want to assume things about what people are thinking. it pretty much disabled my "understand social cues and sayings" sense completely

 

That could be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on how much compassion you have.

[idiot_stimpy]

If the desire for something is making you so unhappy, then give up that desire.

[Thunder_Gooch]

Shy isn't the same thing as introversion.

 

Shy isn't the same thing as general misanthropy.

 

Some men did a cost benefit analysis of playing the game and found they would rather pay than play.

 

 

 

It seems to me that spirituality forums, and especially this place, have a consistent record of attracting guys who basically, for whatever reason, can't attract women.

 

I'm not sure why this is.

 

They always get strong reactions from other posters, and often create a commotion. Some people call them sexist, blame them for their own problems, women rarely can grasp the concept of involuntary celibacy, etc. They don't bother me, and if anything I tend to sympathize. I understand that if someone is in their 20s and is a virgin, they are socially far behind most other males, and are considered weird by society. This in turn makes them even more hopeless.

 

The Documentary Shy Boys: IRL

http://vimeo.com/28466163

 

More-

 

 

Clips from the Documentary-

 

Incels-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4jXJDUE7H4

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X98yHkJ7MA8

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5anjojdahU

 

Dr. Carpenter-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KzaB0ut3xg

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4e6Gizp0cuU

 

Dr. GIlmartin-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecYpk2Mb_kM

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65XVyVm1Wq0

 

 

Edited June 21, 2013 by More_Pie_Guy

[gendao]

I understand that if someone is in their 20s and is a virgin, they are socially far behind most other males, and are considered weird by society. This in turn makes them even more hopeless.

I wonder how many more 20 or 30-something male vs female virgins there are these days? Are there any actual statistics on this, from the "incel" community?

Edited July 1, 2013 by vortex

[Immortal4life]

Here's a study which claims-

http://www.newscientist.com/blogs/shortsharpscience/2009/06/who-is-the-40-year-old-virgin.html

The study, led by urologist Michael Eisenberg of the University of California, San Francisco, will appear in an upcoming issue of the Journal of Sexual Medicine. His team's survey found that 13.9 per cent of men and 8.9 per cent of women said they have never had sex.

[Toni]

It seems the incel problem is only becoming more widespread. Some serious people are beginning to claim that this could become a real social problem in the west, as their numbers are only raising

Edited November 29, 2019 by Toni

[Earl Grey]

30 minutes ago, Toni said:

It seems the incel problem is only becoming more widespread. Some serious people are beginning to claim that this could become a real social problem in the west, as their numbers are only raising

Pop culture seems to be for the first time since the sexual revolution to be actively afraid of sex and sexuality. After Gen-X laughed about it, it is revealed younger Millennials and Edgers are having less sex but marrying more. A lot of pop culture is more puritanical these days—the contradiction of a woman dressing like a slut is considered anti-feminist, yet shaming her is also anti-feminist, whereas someone actively embracing her sexuality is also seen as not doing something she likes but being brainwashed by the patriarchy.

 

 I miss the days of riot grrls, who loved to be sexual and sexy. I miss the days when you didn’t have guys pretending to be sensitive feminists who end up being insincere and truly just want to sleep with women. I miss the days when people could just talk with each other instead of hide behind dating apps and make everything transactional instead of natural. I miss the days when having sex was not political, but a very human thing and beautiful, man and woman, man and man, woman and woman.

[Toni]

I have to say I don't like this new criminalization of sexuality typical of modern feminism. I also miss the more open and free scene of some years ago but I think we are heading into more prudish socities, which is a regression.

 

Also some claim that with dating apps we are having a 80-20 pareto rule in the sexual transactions, with women only dating super hot guys

Edited November 29, 2019 by Toni

[Earl Grey]

23 minutes ago, Toni said:

I have to say I don't like this new criminalization of sexuality typical of modern feminism. I also miss the more open and free scene of some years ago but I think we are heading into more prudish socities, which is a regression.

 

Also some claim that with dating apps we are having a 80-20 pareto rule in the sexual transactions, with women only dating super hot guys

Modern feminism isn’t actually feminism, it’s just using the name.  actual feminists I know don’t like this fourth wave at all. They fought to be free to be sexual and then a fringe group who criminalizes sex and family became the inspiration for modern understanding. Many intellectuals now are still bitter about it and there’s a lot of influence from social media and technology, as it’s primarily woke white western women who ignore complexities, especially of dark and poor women.

[Toni]

Yes, I think this last wave of feminism is very dangerous to society. It is full of hate towards men, sex and the family, and this is dangerous.

 

And the worst is that they are powerful now.

Edited November 29, 2019 by Toni

[liminal_luke]

4 hours ago, Earl Grey said:

 

 I miss the days of riot grrls, who loved to be sexual and sexy. I miss the days when you didn’t have guys pretending to be sensitive feminists who end up being insincere and truly just want to sleep with women. I miss the days when people could just talk with each other instead of hide behind dating apps and make everything transactional instead of natural. I miss the days when having sex was not political, but a very human thing and beautiful, man and woman, man and man, woman and woman.

 

 

Me too!  Well, maybe not the riot grrls so much (who are they?) but all the rest of it.  The optimist in me thinks those days are coming back.

Edited November 29, 2019 by liminal_luke

[Jim D.]

I think it all started on a decline when the "pill" took away the fear of pregnancy. It takes about 10 years to change and make it stick. Competition for a mate, especially for women, became harder. They found themselves in a market that demanded that they do something different than the next female. Both men and women set the norm for dating and staying together. 

 

And geese mate for life. Nothing special about what they do. 

[Earl Grey]

1 hour ago, liminal_luke said:

 

 

Me too!  Well, maybe not the riot grrls so much (who are they?) but all the rest of it.  The optimist in me thinks those days are coming back.

They are punk and grunge alternative rock feminist musicians from the early 90s who gave us lipstick lesbians and women who were celebrated for wearing dresses and being feminine instead of wearing slacks and short hair in the 70s, and enjoyed being sexual or sexy.

[liminal_luke]

32 minutes ago, Earl Grey said:

They are punk and grunge alternative rock feminist musicians from the early 90s who gave us lipstick lesbians and women who were celebrated for wearing dresses and being feminine instead of wearing slacks and short hair in the 70s, and enjoyed being sexual or sexy.

 

Were you here when witch was an active poster?  Now there was a woman who enjoyed her sexuality!  Story goes that she attracted the wrath of Max Christianson (the man who brought us Kunlun) by astrally tempting him with her feminine wiles.  Witch says she was just playing; reportedly, Max was not amused. She had a whole program for boosting orgasms, even wrote a book.  If I remember correctly her program involved downing massive amounts of fish oil and chocolate.  There`s no comparable woman Bum posting at the moment but, as the song goes, nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors.

Edited November 30, 2019 by liminal_luke

[Earl Grey]

1 hour ago, liminal_luke said:

 

Were you here when witch was an active poster?  Now there was a woman who enjoyed her sexuality!  Story goes that she attracted the wrath of Max Christianson (the man who brought us Kunlun) by astrally tempting him with her feminine wiles.  Witch says she was just playing; reportedly, Max was not amused. She had a whole program for boosting orgasms, even wrote a book.  If I remember correctly her program involved downing massive amounts of fish oil and chocolate.  There`s no comparable woman Bum posting at the moment but, as the song goes, nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors.

Sounds more Courtney Love end of the riot grrl spectrum. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Riot_grrrl

[Forwards]

I'd say that in general a lot of spirituality focused males end up in the unenviable position of being lead into trading in masculine/testosterone/yang based behaviors for feminine/yin behaviors.

 

Spending years telling you to control your passions and emotions without also using compatible practices to keep them powerful and roaring.

 

I think the idea of being shy is excellent in this case.  Being shy, or avoidant, or whatever else you want to use sticks around if your lust, or whatever other tactic you decide to use, doesnt overcome it.  Growing up there were shy kids, but self image problems and doubt can be overcome by the sheer need for tail.  The thirst drives you lol

 

Now a days with so much interaction being online it also makes sense how a shy, or even a normally adjusted person, would have difficulties in getting with another for sex.  You not only have to get along with them but you have to be around them in the first place.

 

I've told people before that if i was single and looking to score I'd be hitting up single christian gatherings.  Lots of individuals susceptible to carnal falls there.  Just make sure to say "i don't know if we should do this" before sticking your hands down their pants and you'll seal the deal since it'll be easy to justify that your sins were uncontrollable.

[Taomeow]

3 hours ago, Forwards said:

 

I've told people before that if i was single and looking to score I'd be hitting up single christian gatherings.  Lots of individuals susceptible to carnal falls there.  Just make sure to say "i don't know if we should do this" before sticking your hands down their pants and you'll seal the deal since it'll be easy to justify that your sins were uncontrollable.

 

Mr. President, is that you?  

[Toni]

This sounds a little bit PUA

[Forwards]

1 hour ago, Toni said:

This sounds a little bit PUA

Im not really familiar with pua besides the need to have a weird name and you sell products that tell boys to talk to girls

[Toni]

If the 80/20 rule is correct then pua games are useless. Besides today u can have legal problems with these tricks

[Forwards]

7 minutes ago, Toni said:

If the 80/20 rule is correct then pua games are useless. Besides today u can have legal problems with these tricks

I agree.  There is no magic or secret skill in dating women besides consistently talking to and flirting with them.  If you strike out you move on 

 

Now other stuff does go into it, but that's just common sense.  Take pride in your appearance,  do things you care about, don't be a terrible person.  That'll cover your bases and then its just a matter of connecting.

[Taomeow]

.

Edited December 7, 2019 by Taomeow