Love Shys, Involuntary Celibates, True Forced Loneliness, etc.

[Earl Grey]

On 12/8/2019 at 4:13 AM, Forwards said:

I agree.  There is no magic or secret skill in dating women besides consistently talking to and flirting with them.  If you strike out you move on 

 

Now other stuff does go into it, but that's just common sense.  Take pride in your appearance,  do things you care about, don't be a terrible person.  That'll cover your bases and then its just a matter of connecting.

Seriously, sometimes people forget that saying hello is often all that is needed to get the ball rolling, because the chemistry, if it isn’t there, guard up or not, is what determines a lot of things. Anyone who tries to woo someone who isn’t initially interested may find that without chemistry, it’s a lot harder to maintain something that they try to pursue and force.

 

Case in point: I was rejected by a gorgeous gal in college, but we had chemistry. Took it in stride, still hung out, she knew I was into her and I just let her do what she did, laughed at a couple guys whom she thought were handsome, and we would study together. A few months later, while I’m already at the point of indifference, she springs herself on me because my sincerity and lack of desperation or arrogance was what made me appealing—she was testing me the whole time.

 

The guys she liked were just complete tools who had more love for their gym time and their cars. 
 

Score one for being yourself. Score with more people for being yourself, not your car, your abs, your pickup lines, your measurements, your income, your job title, or your online profile. 

 

On top of being yourself, if you aren’t happy about not getting laid and fixate so much on it, imagine how you look to the opposite sex. Be someone you’re happy to be, and the others will see that and like you for that too.

 

 I am happy being a slacker with a temper, intellectual, a gamer and nerd, and rocker, and being not tall. And if nobody likes that, sucks for them, I’m cool with myself and somehow still find girls attracted to me anyway. So if someone is bitching and getting trigger happy? The issue isn’t about sex, the issue is self-worth, most of the time.

 

Find a hobby!

Edited December 9, 2019 by Earl Grey

[AngelsView]

With the world in the state its in now, I fear Orwells prediction.

 

[Forwards]

23 minutes ago, AngelsView said:

With the world in the state its in now, I fear Orwells prediction.

 

If they end up eradicating the orgasm I'll quit!

[Earl Grey]

1 hour ago, Forwards said:

If they end up eradicating the orgasm I'll quit!

 

Earlier this year, a Feminist scholar in the New York Times was talking about how there was a very extreme smaller cabal of feminism in the 1970s that was very loud and aggressive with their views, to the point that the average feminist then refused to associate with them because they were so far removed from the ideas of gender equality that they themselves sounded like the mythical "cultural Marxist" conspiracy that people love to drudge up. Today's extremist misogynistic views naturally led to some of those ideas resurfacing. 

 

They were called "cultural feminists" and they didn't just feel that relationships, men, and marriages were unnecessary, but that sex was unnecessary too. That last part was enough to raise the alarms and cause a lot of feminists to disown them, reminding everyone that this was obviously not feminism. Some of their more bizarre views was that they would push for in-vitro fertilization and the elimination of Miss, Ms. Mrs. 

 

The problem that many cultural feminists had is that this relied on capitalist western views and had a very universalist agenda that ignored complexities for women of color and different socio-political cultural backgrounds in different countries. Cultural feminism is sadly the model by which fourth wave is heavily influenced by, and the privilege of social media and access to technology that working class and non-western people do not have as much easy access to themselves. 

 

A Woke Western White Woman from Washington can't tell a Gambian woman on Facebook what is proper and how to deal with toxic patriarchy as there are too many contextual variables she doesn't consider. It's sadly historical too that these distortions come from a place of assuming gender alone is the only context that affects women, due to the fact that when American women got universal suffrage, this did not extend to women of color--who fought for that as well but were betrayed by their white sisters. The generational issue is covered in one liberal's book who is lost in an era where those who call themselves liberals have diverged in such a way that the label doesn't include her. Thinking that women alone would make a utopia and assuming men are the toxic part of society don't realize that capitalism is a bigger influence than they think.

Edited December 9, 2019 by Earl Grey

[AngelsView]

Yep. Feminist extremism is bullshit.

[Earl Grey]

2 minutes ago, AngelsView said:

Yep. Feminist extremism is bullshit.

Fourth wave and cultural feminism, yes, but let’s not throw out the baby with the bath water! What feminism stood for originally and its original philosophy is fantastic.

Don’t let the taint of modern people who claim to be feminists who aren’t even feminists affect your views of it, whether it’s the misanthropic woman who hates men and thinks women are superior or the snake of a man who pretends to be woke and sensitive, but really just wants to sleep with everyone in a dishonest way.

[Toni]

They even hate the family now, that's insane. 

[Toni]

Jordan Peterson, a serious academic, talking about these topics:

 

 

 

Edited January 11, 2020 by Toni

[SirPalomides]

Jordan Peterson, serious academic... oh boy

[CloudHands]

 

 

[Toni]

I think he is an honest person, and sometimes what he says is interesting

Edited January 11, 2020 by Toni

[Toni]

In the first video above Jordan Peterson says a very big truth, with deep sociological and political implications: today the majority of women are only interested in a minority of men, he says 85% of women are only interested in the 15% of men, the most physically attractive. This is the big truth of the XXIst century, a truth denied by the media. I am sure this will cause big problems in the next years, and it is already causing a lot of suffering.

Edited January 20, 2020 by Toni

[thelerner]

On 1/20/2020 at 9:36 AM, Toni said:

In the first video above Jordan Peterson says a very big truth, with deep sociological and political implications: today the majority of women are only interested in a minority of men, he says 85% of women are only interested in the 15% of men, the most physically attractive. This is the big truth of the XXIst century, a truth denied by the media. I am sure this will cause big problems in the next years, and it is already causing a lot of suffering.

You don't think that's true going the other way?  That men aren't looking/hoping for the most attractive partners? 

 

As time goes by, the grownups evolve whats important to them and find partners.  Or don't change and get lonely and angry. 

[Toni]

Men are not that picky, that is pretty obvious. This is not a personal problem, it is a social and political problem with serious implications

Edited January 21, 2020 by Toni

[Earl Grey]

9 hours ago, Toni said:

Men are not that picky, that is pretty obvious. This is not a personal problem, it is a social and political problem with serious implications

I am very picky myself, after finding out that not being picky led to terrible relationships.

 

As for what constitutes attractiveness, it can vary widely amongst societies, culture groups, and subcultures, then even individual preference.

 

I knew an attractive young woman whose type is fat bald men, and nobody could explain why. Her boyfriend, my classmate, didn’t care one bit, and he also had a string of attractive women he had dated who didn’t find his type of being fat and bald as their type, but he had a lot that made him charming, such as a good sense of humor and was an artist.

[ilumairen]

On 1/20/2020 at 10:36 AM, Toni said:

In the first video above Jordan Peterson says a very big truth, with deep sociological and political implications: today the majority of women are only interested in a minority of men, he says 85% of women are only interested in the 15% of men, the most physically attractive. This is the big truth of the XXIst century, a truth denied by the media. I am sure this will cause big problems in the next years, and it is already causing a lot of suffering.

 

You'll have to forgive me for not watching the video; the "why a sexually liberated society is not good for all men" is telling enough for me. 

 

May I ask if the metric you offered refers to statistics gleaned from "hookup sites"? (referring to the 85/15 bit here)

[Toni]

This statistic is what Jordan Peterson (an university professor) says it is happening. I remember in the video he quotes several studies, like one from a hookup site that analyzed how women choose their dates in the site.

Edited January 22, 2020 by Toni

[SirPalomides]

1 minute ago, Toni said:

This statistic is what Jordan Peterson (an university professor)

 

This again. Look, anyone who has spent time in academia and has met their share of professors will know that being a university professor, or having a doctorate, is far from a guarantee of credibility, even when they aren't straying far beyond their area of specialization.

 

And it seems your answer to Ilumairen's question is, "Yes."

[Toni]

And what is the problem? In hookup sites you can also see the real behaviour of people, as in real life. But Peterson also talks about what he sees in campus.

 

Denying reality is not very intelligent

Edited January 22, 2020 by Toni

[ilumairen]

The above "responses" should be taken as, "thanks @Toni for answering my question, and thanks @SirPalomides for your clarity. 

[SirPalomides]

Let me make a friendly suggestion. I will not attempt to dissuade you if you think Jordan Peterson is brilliant. He certainly has... gifts. But set him aside for a while- say, two years. In those two years, read through some of the figures of civilization and culture that Peterson likes to reference. Plato, Dante, Shakespeare, Milton, take your pick. Peterson would definitely agree that these are all worth reading. And definitely read some Marx- not summaries, some actual Marx. A fair amount of philosophy in general is good- Peterson would surely agree. When the reading feels heavy, take breaks in between with some mythology or poetry. After two years of this come back and see if you still find Peterson impressive.

Edited January 22, 2020 by SirPalomides

[Toni]

Honestly i couldn't care less about him haha. It is not that i like him in general. I am just trying to explain the sexual behaviour of modern women, and why it is causing inceldom, that is all. I used a video of Peterson as i could have used someone else. The real thing is this 80/20 rule and hypergamy, which i believe is true and can have negative social consequences

[ilumairen]

Went looking into this Jordan Peterson and the claim he is a "serious academic," and found the following article which,  towards the end, highlights the issues with this view.

 

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2018/feb/07/how-dangerous-is-jordan-b-peterson-the-rightwing-professor-who-hit-a-hornets-nest

[ilumairen]

14 minutes ago, Toni said:

I am just trying to explain the sexual behaviour of modern women, and why it is causing inceldom, that is all.

 

Why do you believe it's the sexual behavior of women causing inceldom?

 

And why do you believe you are able to paint the sexual behavior of women (in a general sense, instead of an individual one) in the first place?

 

 

[ilumairen]

 

19 minutes ago, Toni said:

The real thing is this 80/20 rule and hypergamy, which i believe is true and can have negative social consequences

 

Wait.. what???

 

Hypergamy correlated with this "80/20 rule" as evidenced and highlighted by hookup sites???

 

What am I missing here?