How to develop unconditional love?

[narveen]

It wasnt a reading by my shakini...it was just me....if I did it for you I'd probably be lying I'll see what I can do though if I see posts by you I will hit you with my sword made of synthetic gems that shoots lasers out of it.

 

looks like your dragon is fully trained and ready for action?

[Songtsan]

looks like your dragon is fully trained and ready for action?

 

No I havent been back at it yet....I'll get to it though...there are commands to memorize and you have to train it to your voice...the thing is it comes with a standard dictionary, but all the eastern terms people use on this site might confuse it, so I am going to start by letting it analyzing my writing....I've just been busy.

 

Guess I jumped the gun the other night....

[Marblehead]

Always say always, never say never, more or less.

See?

 

Never say always either.

[Songtsan]

See?

 

Never say always either.

 

just stop saying stuff always/never of the time

[Marblehead]

just stop saying stuff always/never of the time

Yeah, sometimes I would be better off if I just kept my big mouth shut.

[Marblehead]

so long as we dont take what we say seriously we should be ok

But sometimes people should have taken me seriously. Sometimes I am serious when I make a post. Sometimes I try to be humorous - most times people don't understand that it was a joke.

 

But from this point on I will leave others' illusions and delusions alone. Life is so full of life! What more do we need beyond life? But some want more. That's their choice.

 

I will, however, stick with my choices as they have served me very well.

 

Now peace out!

[Flolfolil]

Sometimes I try to be humorous - most times people don't understand that it was a joke.

this is where emoticons come into play...

[Marblehead]

this is where emoticons come into play...

Yep. Many people take life too seriously. Let's face it - we all are going to die. If a person can get a hancle on that they will find that life becomes much easier to live and so very much more enjoyable.

[Songtsan]

Yeah, sometimes I would be better off if I just kept my big mouth shut.

 

but not always, because we wouldnt know you then, and we would miss you

[Songtsan]

But sometimes people should have taken me seriously. Sometimes I am serious when I make a post. Sometimes I try to be humorous - most times people don't understand that it was a joke.

 

But from this point on I will leave others' illusions and delusions alone. Life is so full of life! What more do we need beyond life? But some want more. That's their choice.

 

I will, however, stick with my choices as they have served me very well.

 

Now peace out!

 

you can go now...just dont leave

[Marblehead]

you can go now...just dont leave

Oh, I won't be leaving. Sorry to those who wish I would.

 

Okay, I went. I'm ready to start all over again.

[Songtsan]

Oh, I won't be leaving. Sorry to those who wish I would.

 

Okay, I went. I'm ready to start all over again.

 

you should come back then

[Marblehead]

you should come back then

I'm back. Actually, I'm Marblehead. But that's not true either. Where did my freakin' truth go?!?!?!?

[Songtsan]

I'm back. Actually, I'm Marblehead. But that's not true either. Where did my freakin' truth go?!?!?!?

 

You had to let it go, because if you truly love it, you need to let it go. If it returns to you, then you are set.

[Marblehead]

You had to let it go, because if you truly love it, you need to let it go. If it returns to you, then you are set.

Maybe that's it. Stop looking. It will appear when I am ready.

[Songtsan]

Maybe that's it. Stop looking. It will appear when I am ready.

 

It will be ready when you disappear

[narveen]

It will be ready when you disappear

 

[Marblehead]

It will be ready when you disappear

I stopped playing peek-a-boo a long time ago.

[manitou]

i want to be able to love my "enemies" and friends equally. i can say that i do, but i don't feel like it comes from within. i believe that my annoyance and avoidance of undesirable people is just hatred under a new name, and i don't like it.

 

Does anyone have any advice/books/links that might help me?

 

this could turn into a debate about whether i need to or not, but i know i don't -need- to. i want to. i see other people that feel love for everyone and everything and i don't feel it. i don't see the point in striving to help others other than for my own emotional gratification. i feel like accumulating merit is just a point-system to give us a false reason to feel good about ourselves. Please, help me understand the possible error of these thoughts and bring me to a greater appreciation of humanity.

 

Flofolil, what a beautiful topic for discussion. When I read your initial post I happened to be reading, 'How to Use the Science of Mind' by Ernest Holmes. Mr. Holmes is trying to communicate the healing mindset necessary to enable the healing, and he speaks of this unconditional love in this way. It seems to fit: (please sidestep the biblical reference if needed):

 

EXAMPLE

 

"I will fear no evil for thou art with me." Today Divine Love and infinite tenderness sustain me. In order that I shall not separate myself from this love, I endeavor to see it reflected in everyone and everything. I shall permit only that which is loving, kind and true to find entrance or exit through my consciousness. Thus I shall be assured that I am bathed in the warm glow of that Love which casts out all fear.

Today I bestow the essence of love upon everything. Everyone shall be lovely to me. My soul meets the soul of the universe in everyone. Nothing is ugly; everything is beautiful, everything is meaningful. This love is a healing power touching everything into wholeness, healing the wounds of experience with its divine balm.

I know that this Love Essence, the very substance of Life, the creative Principle back of everything, flows through my whole being, spiritual, emotional, mental and physical. It flows I transcendent loveliness into my world of thought and form, ever renewing, vitalizing, bringing joy and harmony and blessing to everything and everyone it touches."

 

And then he continues:

 

Although it is not easy, something stimulates him to persist in his effort, so he gradually reverses his thoughts about people. He comes into harmony with life. He unifies with living. He begins to see good in everything. As he does this, the good that was already in him, the love that had merely been wearing the mask of hate, the jealousies, animosities and resentments which had been born of a sense of isolation, disappear. The love which was already there comes to the surface.

 

People begin to see that a great change has come over him, that, after all, he is not such a bad person, there is much in him to admire. Gradually, this thought changes from one of speculation to one of confidence, from one of intellectual analysis to one of deep emotional response, and finally, to one of spiritual awareness whereby people see in him the embodiment of love, of kindness, of sympathy and of fellowship. He has found union with love. He no longer seeks it. He is it.

 

 

Flolfolil, it is a mighty worthy goal you have set for yourself, as I see it.

[silent thunder]

I've recently lost my desire to punish.

I achieved this through no effort or great knowledge.

I did not achieve this.

 

A natural manifestation of my awareness.

 

When I fall in love, no effort.

I do not achieve love.

 

Love manifests.

[manitou]

I've recently lost my desire to punish.

I achieved this through no effort or great knowledge.

I did not achieve this.

 

A natural manifestation of my awareness.

 

When I fall in love, no effort.

I do not achieve love.

 

Love manifests.

 

 

The use of the term Falling in Love has a connotation of exclusivity, as with one person. We've all done this, but usually with selfish motives and a disappointment down the road because 'they' are not who we thought they were and they aren't capable of 'satisfying all our needs'. This often involves selfishness and a desire to have our own needs met. Doesn't it seem that the kind of Love we're talking about here is a universal phenomenon, as opposed to an individualized one?

 

Falling in love is a strange thing. I 'fell in love' about 30 years ago with a man in the most dire situation - an alkie who could not stay sober for more than a few months at a time. His drinking time was spent on skid row, bouncing between two worlds, like one foot on a banana peel, the other in hell, if there were such a place. My own sick 'need to fix someone other than myself' kept me in check within this relationship. However, a funny thing happened. We were both able to transcend ourselves, over the years, and after doing inner work fix our own inner selves to a goodly degree. The relationship is most satisfactory now, after a lot of ins an outs - and the love I feel for him isn't the wild intense love of my youth - but rather a mature and ripened love and tolerance for another human and their foibles. and he for me, I know. Accepting the whole enchilada as it is. To me, that's love.

 

I do actually think there is an activity, an achievement that involves transcension of this type. It has to do with finding a way to love ourselves first, to get down to the nitty gritty of who we really are. As you succinctly put, you have lost your desire to punish. The hardest one to stop punishing is ourselves - our inner self knows our character, not our façade. We can quote all the beautiful words in the world and sound very learned and wise - but there is no shortcut on turning our eyes into ourselves and untangling those knotted noodles so we can get down to Truth and Self.

 

I think if Love (the type of agape or unconditional love we're talking about here) manifested on its own with no effort, this world would be a much better place than it appears to be. It is an absolute Practice to keep one's eyes high, focused on the good and the beautiful. Our thoughts have much more power than we think they do, and they affect those around us, aura to aura. Thoughts are tangible things, the masters tell.

[hydrogen]

The hardest one to stop punishing is ourselves - our inner self knows our character, not our façade.

 

Very true.

 

Self acceptance is very hard.

[silent thunder]

My Love is effortless.

It manifests spontaneously and requires no conditions.

 

In the end for me, all love becomes self Love. Healing myself is foundational, primary. It's the soil Love grows from.

 

Effort and grasping are not Love in my experience, but verbs about controlling or influencing perceived 'external conditions'.

Not to say there is no effort in my relationships. Quite a bit sometimes.

But Love is what spurs my action, not the result of it.

 

Thanks for sharing your story... I'm so glad you two found each other and grew together. Many blessings there.

 

The use of the term Falling in Love has a connotation of exclusivity, as with one person. We've all done this, but usually with selfish motives and a disappointment down the road because 'they' are not who we thought they were and they aren't capable of 'satisfying all our needs'. This often involves selfishness and a desire to have our own needs met. Doesn't it seem that the kind of Love we're talking about here is a universal phenomenon, as opposed to an individualized one?

 

Falling in love is a strange thing. I 'fell in love' about 30 years ago with a man in the most dire situation - an alkie who could not stay sober for more than a few months at a time. His drinking time was spent on skid row, bouncing between two worlds, like one foot on a banana peel, the other in hell, if there were such a place. My own sick 'need to fix someone other than myself' kept me in check within this relationship. However, a funny thing happened. We were both able to transcend ourselves, over the years, and after doing inner work fix our own inner selves to a goodly degree. The relationship is most satisfactory now, after a lot of ins an outs - and the love I feel for him isn't the wild intense love of my youth - but rather a mature and ripened love and tolerance for another human and their foibles. and he for me, I know. Accepting the whole enchilada as it is. To me, that's love.

 

I do actually think there is an activity, an achievement that involves transcension of this type. It has to do with finding a way to love ourselves first, to get down to the nitty gritty of who we really are. As you succinctly put, you have lost your desire to punish. The hardest one to stop punishing is ourselves - our inner self knows our character, not our façade. We can quote all the beautiful words in the world and sound very learned and wise - but there is no shortcut on turning our eyes into ourselves and untangling those knotted noodles so we can get down to Truth and Self.

 

I think if Love (the type of agape or unconditional love we're talking about here) manifested on its own with no effort, this world would be a much better place than it appears to be. It is an absolute Practice to keep one's eyes high, focused on the good and the beautiful. Our thoughts have much more power than we think they do, and they affect those around us, aura to aura. Thoughts are tangible things, the masters tell.