Just so everybody knows...

[Stosh]

Now now now, lets not get all bent out of shape, dissagreements and conflicts crop up all the time. I know from personal experience that our seeming enemies can hold the most crucial things to hear. I've learned far more from perzons that I dissagreed with than I ever learned from folks I was already in ageement with ( admittedly it wasn't always what my enemy was proposing )

Please take it from a person surrounded by conflict , continue to engage. It is all an illusion a dream , a vortex .. its all good or can be seen as such.

 

Wow Ss that's more personal stuff than ha been posted by everyone altogether!

I hope youu put it in the book , (but I don't know how it would be received)

Edited July 5, 2013 by Stosh

[Songtsan]

Now now now, lets not get all bent out of shape, dissagreements and conflicts crop up all the time. I know from personal experience that our seeming enemies can hold the most crucial things to hear. I've learned far more from perzons that I dissagreed with than I ever learned from folks I was already in ageement with ( admittedly it wasn't always what my enemy was proposing ) Please take it from a person surrounded by conflict , continue to engage. It is all an illusion a dream , a vortex .. its all good or can be seen as such.

 

I will not accept personal attacks from someone who knows very little about me. This isn't the first time she has scornfully and malignantly harassed me. It's over with. I have no problem with someone disagreeing with my philosophy, but when someone personally attacks my character, someone I don't even know, I draw the line. My threshold has been reached. I have personally found that some of the most spiritual people are those who came from the school of hard-knocks. I have also found that some of the least spiritual are those who have had the easy life - they are what I called 'surface spiritual,' but 'judgment deep' - They judge others because they have only seen those people's lives through the schema/looking glass of their 'perfect' world. I don't know whether this applies to Cat or not, but I suspect it.

 

Cat, since I am continuing to judge you, I will read any rebuttals you have to make, but I do intend on limiting our correspondence after this for my own health.

Edited July 5, 2013 by Songtsan

[Jetsun]

You have had an eventful life so far, makes mine sound so boring. But it is your own story which is going to sell and make it stand out from the thousands of other life help manuals, people like the human story, especially if it is a bit different and by the sounds of things it is very different.

[Stosh]

Ok Ss , but it gains you nothing IMO

[Songtsan]

You have had an eventful life so far, makes mine sound so boring. But it is your own story which is going to sell and make it stand out from the thousands of other life help manuals, people like the human story, especially if it is a bit different and by the sounds of things it is very different.

 

hmmm...interesting point.

[Songtsan]

Ok Ss , but it gains you nothing IMO

 

It gains me something, I think. I am acting from my heart when I say what I say. That is always valuable. I am also being fearless. I am not afraid of being ridiculed, I simply respond in like kind and quality, not maliciously or superficially, but by saying exactly what I feel. The truth of someone's heart is always the strongest medicine. People are like mirrors. Arrogance breeds arrogance. That which we do to others shall be done to us. That which others do to us, we will likely do to them. This maintains a balance, as people realize that to start a fire, is to burn yourself. Hate sent forward to someone else also burns the hater. Hater, the act of hating, and the hate itself become one. When people hate me, they hate themselves. They really are hating a thought construct of the person they think they see, and that thought construct exists within them and only within them. Cat's thought construct for me that she has assembled is not the true me, and vice versa. I simply like to get the nasty stuff out in plain site. It makes sense from an evolutionary perspective. I do not fake it until I make it, and I do not shove my greasier parts down into a skeleton closet. Show me your ugly face, and I will show you mine. My ugly face can tear a person a new asshole. I like myself. I like my ugliness. Most people don't/can't accept their ugliness, so they are not whole, they are not integrated inside. I am actually more integrated than most people, and have had no easy time getting there. People love to hate me, because I love the parts of myself that they hate. I practice radical acceptance, which also includes accepting my own rejection of others and displaying it. I have no problem with who Cat is, I simply am following a pattern that is somewhat based on crazy wisdom practices and left hand Tantra. It's who I am. Disagree with who I am and you will get a mouthful, as that is also who I am. I learned long ago not to care if people like me or not.

Edited July 6, 2013 by Songtsan

[C T]

`interesting life story, Songtsan! Kudos for sharing... a part of me says its made up, but thats only because im a little jealous at all the adventures you have had, experiences which would have knocked the average guy off the perch, but you, my friend, seem to have come good! Well done, and every success to you in the near-future launch of your book! I am sure it will be well received.

 

Btw, i once had a swim coach who could not swim too well. Come to think of it, most top tennis players in the circuit have coaches whose names were never mentioned in any of the slams... ever. Tacticians. Wizards. They eat integrity and spit fire into the bellies of their charges and make them walk tall while they themselves look less than fit & wear glasses.

 

Not sure if you have heard of a guy named Vince Lombardi? He is the one who, many years ago, took the Green Bay Packers from obscurity to greatness. His ability to motivate others knows no equal, and this speech of his is a small gift from me as a sort of thanks for having the guts to get up and fight each time you get mown down.

 

Edited July 6, 2013 by C T

[Songtsan]

`interesting life story, Songtsan! Kudos for sharing... a part of me says its made up, but thats only because im a little jealous at all the adventures you have had, experiences which would have knocked the average guy off the perch, but you, my friend, seem to have come good! Well done, and every success to you in the near-future launch of your book! I am sure it will be well received.

 

Btw, i once had a swim coach who could not swim too well. Come to think of it, most top tennis players in the circuit have coaches whose names were never mentioned in any of the slams... ever. Tacticians. Wizards. They eat integrity and spit fire into the bellies of their charges and make them walk tall while they themselves look less than fit & wear glasses.

 

Not sure if you have heard of a guy named Vince Lombardi? He is the one who, many years ago, took the Green Bay Packers from obscurity to greatness. His ability to motivate others knows no equal, and this speech of his is a small gift from me as a sort of thanks for having the guts to get up and fight each time you get mown down.

 

Oh its real...I provided enough information that a savvy person could go look up who I am and see my mug shot online...I dont care if people know me, it is fear based to want to hide oneself from others. Ego based. People on the internet fear to be known so much, we all hide behind these avatars and whatnot. Not that I am judging, but it doesn't matter to me anymore. I have messed up in my life and destroyed enough relationships that I see no reason to hide that I am abnormally unstable and have done some crazy stuff. Anyone I meet and form a relationship with will find out eventually anyways...might as well be upfront. Radical acceptance of self generally leads to having no problem if others know who you really are.

 

BTW I have never been one of those super fit personal trainers - I have always been skinny and long-limbed and weaker because of the physics of my joints...I dont care about being some kind of muscle magnet...people see me and dont think anything special about my physique, but I still know how to stay in shape better than most gym rats. So yes, in a way I am a thinker, not a doer. A teacher more than a student, even though I could stand to be more disciplined. It is what it is.

Edited July 6, 2013 by Songtsan

[Stosh]

I personally like

That which you appear to be and intend to communicate

Ill say more tomorrow

[narveen]

I have personally found that some of the most spiritual people are those who came from the school of hard-knocks. I have also found that some of the least spiritual are those who have had the easy life - they are what I called 'surface spiritual,' but 'judgment deep' - They judge others because they have only seen those people's lives through the schema/looking glass of their 'perfect' world.

 

i disagree with that.

 

as for your book, i did say from the beginning (in another thread) that i like your writing style. it's rambling and punchy like steinbeck (grapes of wrath). it's the kind of writing that the reader cannot stop reading from start to finish.

 

dragon would be the excellent tool as you punch out one chapter after another speaking into your microphone hooked to your iPhone/computer whenever and wherever you get that rush to spit it all out on any topic weaving your life experiences into it. forget the punctuations. do that later.

 

spiritual books are boring. your rambling narrative form would be something down-to-earth, here-and-now.

[skydog]

I like your posts songtsan.

 

So do you know about your past lives and removing trauma.

Edited July 6, 2013 by skydog

[松永道]

@Songtsan

 

It would be a mistake not to include your life story in your book. Your life story is immeasurably more interesting than your résumé. And the two combined are more interesting still. People don't just want to know what you've done, they want to know who you are and what you've been through. Then they'll want to read what you have to say.

 

Eloquent theories and hypothesis are a dime-a-dozen. But If you put your truth, your heart and your experience onto the pages then your theories, reflections and hypothesis will stand out. And then you just might have a chance at writing something great.

 

Good luck.

 

Also, I read through this whole thread. I don't get the sense that cat was intentionally trolling you.

[de_paradise]

I think Cat's point is that you are not spiritually attained enough to write an instruction manual, as in the blind leading the blind. This is a legitimate and even stylistic criticism because your attainment colors each sentence your write. Bite the bullet and thank her, because here's ego rearing its ugly head: the need to be heard and admired, to hear your valuable golden advice.

 

This is an isse that comes of for alot of us here, since we know that relative to most people, we have alot to offer. Every once in a while I start thinking about forming a school, writing books, creating communities. Then usually what happens is Im walking along and some guy shoves me a leaflet on Jesus. He starts talking about the path through Jesus. And its all pretty reasonable spiritual advice. And yet we are both still in the maze.

 

I think you should write your book but with the approach of humbleness, that you can make spiritual progress through the writing, and that it can reveal more of your flaws to you. Maybe some people will read it if you make it not so rambling. People write books all the time, why not you?

[skydog]

...hmm..

Edited July 6, 2013 by skydog

[narveen]

I think Cat's point is that you are not spiritually attained enough to write an instruction manual, as in the blind leading the blind. This is a legitimate and even stylistic criticism because your attainment colors each sentence your write. Bite the bullet and thank her, because here's ego rearing its ugly head: the need to be heard and admired, to hear your valuable golden advice.

 

This is an isse that comes of for alot of us here, since we know that relative to most people, we have alot to offer. Every once in a while I start thinking about forming a school, writing books, creating communities. Then usually what happens is Im walking along and some guy shoves me a leaflet on Jesus. He starts talking about the path through Jesus. And its all pretty reasonable spiritual advice. And yet we are both still in the maze.

 

I think you should write your book but with the approach of humbleness, that you can make spiritual progress through the writing, and that it can reveal more of your flaws to you. Maybe some people will read it if you make it not so rambling. People write books all the time, why not you?

 

why don't you write your book the way you think it should be written and leave songtsan to do his his way? i think he has something that would appeal to his generation of 30 something. my bio-age is 35. how old are you?

[Songtsan]

@Songtsan

 

It would be a mistake not to include your life story in your book. Your life story is immeasurably more interesting than your résumé. And the two combined are more interesting still. People don't just want to know what you've done, they want to know who you are and what you've been through. Then they'll want to read what you have to say.

 

Eloquent theories and hypothesis are a dime-a-dozen. But If you put your truth, your heart and your experience onto the pages then your theories, reflections and hypothesis will stand out. And then you just might have a chance at writing something great.

 

Good luck.

 

Also, I read through this whole thread. I don't get the sense that cat was intentionally trolling you.

 

The reason that I did believe that she was intentionally trolling me is that she already made it clear that she didn't like me and I her, and yet she comes into a thread started by me, and basically about me and starts posting negative character opinions on me. See me next post in this thread for what I have decided to do on that.

[Songtsan]

I think Cat's point is that you are not spiritually attained enough to write an instruction manual, as in the blind leading the blind. This is a legitimate and even stylistic criticism because your attainment colors each sentence your write. Bite the bullet and thank her, because here's ego rearing its ugly head: the need to be heard and admired, to hear your valuable golden advice.

 

This is an isse that comes of for alot of us here, since we know that relative to most people, we have alot to offer. Every once in a while I start thinking about forming a school, writing books, creating communities. Then usually what happens is Im walking along and some guy shoves me a leaflet on Jesus. He starts talking about the path through Jesus. And its all pretty reasonable spiritual advice. And yet we are both still in the maze.

 

I think you should write your book but with the approach of humbleness, that you can make spiritual progress through the writing, and that it can reveal more of your flaws to you. Maybe some people will read it if you make it not so rambling. People write books all the time, why not you?

 

One does not have to be an enlightened master to write a book. I am writing it anyways, and it will be what it is. I dont think anyone on this site is in any way enlightened enough to know whether I am or not. It all comes to to opinions, delusional opinions, and more ego-based opinions. See my last post in this thread for what I am deciding to to about this

[Songtsan]

Here is what I have decided to do and why. I am not going to be posting on the site anymore. I simply end up getting in arguments with people all the time, and it is a complete waste of time/energy, and reckless to boot. I am like a person trying to quit gambling who sees his gambling buddies playing cards and cannot help but get hooked line and sinker. Another way of looking at my mental illness is that I have what is called Emotional Intensity disorder. What this means is that I have a high level of 'emotional lability' meaning that I am like a prima donna. I am a leaf on the wind, and the wind is my emotions. There are too many people like me here, who like to get into arguments and blow off steam here, and I see that half of what I am posting is in direct reaction to what others are posting. I have an internet addiction. I am going to quit cold turkey. If you are someone who really likes me, and wishes to stay in contact, PM me and I will give you my email address. I like many of you, and wish you well. You have been like my virtual family. I will be removing my personal story from this thread in a few days, as I don't want it immortalized on the internet, at least for now.

 

Delusional ego constructs arguing with other delusional ego constructs is delusional to say the least.

Edited July 6, 2013 by Songtsan

[Stosh]

See ?

In your heat ,,You have not gained but rather lost

and we have lost greatly as well.

In three days reconsider .

Edited July 6, 2013 by Stosh

[Songtsan]

See ?

In your heat ,,You have not gained but rather lost

and we have lost greatly as well.

In three days reconsider .

 

It's only indirectly related to my heat...I am actually right now quite relaxed, and I know this is for my best. I am going to devote all my time to cultivation, and to writing. I did too much incessant and impulsive posting/checking posts on this site. Sometimes being all or none is good, sometimes bad. I feel confident in what I am doing. My life is filled with many chapters of excess. Like a mansion with many rooms, sometimes I become so enamored of certain rooms, that I never leave the room to go explore other rooms. It is time I go explore some of the rooms that I haven't been to in a while, such as the room of discipline, and the room of self-study. Sometimes too many opinions flying in every which way can blind one to ones own wisdom, as one gets caught up in opinion wars. I am trying to hold to my Buddhist vow of 'seeking to not cherish ones own opinion.' That really means quit getting caught up in wars to defend ones own belief systems. Belief systems are transitory. Even the book I am writing will be transitory. It's a transitory world. I am simply seeking to complete some karma of a different sort. I came here, did a bunch of arguing, gave a bunch of advice, read a bunch of advice, learned a lot, taught a lot, and especially learned that I am quite confident in my own belief system, and now I am ready to get to the next step. I know how to teach myself now, how to test information to determine its accuracy, and how to constantly throw out old, outdated information. I know what I do is for my own best.

[Stosh]

Ill tell you how it looks from here

You have been the brightest light

And most interesting of folks

That have posted here.

In your brief conflict over Cats comments

You kept your dignity, even exposing yet more

The greater majority found your personal story very interesting

We do not see it as some reason to not accept you

That there are things you have overcome and survived

Is a credit !

I would too relate-reveal more about myself but its rather boring.

And what greater sin is there than being boring ?

You can look far and wide at all the wise things that have ever been written,

And you can memorize them and ponder them ad nauseum,

but they merely speak to the everyday experiences we all bounce into.

That you should walk away from posting here is ludicrous,

because you enjoy the fodder.as do I.

Toughness is to neither agress nor retreat.

I am not telling you to alter course but

Give it three days cold turkey.

Edited July 6, 2013 by Stosh

[Songtsan]

Ill tell you how it looks from here

You have been the brightest light

And most interesting of folks

That have posted here.

In your brief conflict over Cats comments

You kept your dignity, even exposing yet more

The greater majority found your personal story very interesting

We do not see it as some reason to not accept you

That there are things you have overcome and survived

Is a credit !

I would too relate-reveal more about myself but its rather boring.

And what greater sin is there than being boring ?

You can look far and wide at all the wise things that have ever been written,

And you can memorize them and ponder them ad nauseum,

but they merely speak to the everyday experiences we all bounce into.

That you should walk away from posting here is ludicrous,

because you enjoy the fodder.as do I.

Toughness is to neither agress nor retreat.

I am not telling you to alter course but

Give it three days cold turkey.

 

I am not leaving so much because of specific people, but the fact that I have been getting into arguments with multiple people and getting stressed over it. But it is not so much that, as I want to go hermit again. I want to focus on myself for a while. I want to spend time each day writing my book - aiming for 10 pages a day minimum, and I want to finish my 1000 page book in six months.. I love to go all out on something like that. Plus I have to be my own editor. I like going through extreme phases, and find moderation to be not as fun for me. I also want to get out of the house more and make friends in the physical world. I assure you am not running away with my tail between my legs, I am simply disappearing into the woods for a while, to go camping. Also, I am not sure that I have anything to add to discussions right now. My posts are started to get repetitive. I haven't been doing much actual learning lately, just posting my own beliefs and arguments and then defending them left and right as soon as someone disagrees with me. I have a bevy of material I need to study, including much material that I have learned from others at this website (links, books, etc.). So I am focusing on self-study and writing. I may look in once and a while and see what people are getting excited about, but my days of posting my own opinions, arguing over my own opinions or against others, and getting into personal character conflicts with others are over. It serves me no purpose. If I come across any great information in my studies, I will be sure to stop by and post, but I will probably not stay long to see the discussion on it. Who knows, this could be a short phase, I may get antsy and come back soon. It doesn't matter, everything will work out for the best. I can't stand stagnation for that long is all, and I found myself running in the same maze after a while here.

[C T]

Summer. Camping.

 

Tea bag. Hot water.

 

Why not?

 

Have fun, Songtsan!!!

 

Please come back soon!

[ChiForce]

No offense but are you going to have a disclaimer about your "knowledge" is from the use of drugs in your cultivation process?

[Songtsan]

No offense but are you going to have a disclaimer about your "knowledge" is from the use of drugs in your cultivation process?

 

I assure you that my big will have a whole chapter on the use of entheogens in the use of spiritual cultivation, and I will discuss my own experience from them. If you assume that a great percentage of my knowledge is from the use of drugs, you are of course incorrect. Most of my knowledge comes from research, from questioning Shakti, and from long drawn out hours of contemplation on all the issues I will discuss, which were for the most part done while straight. If I learned anything special while on drugs, I honor that knowledge as the equal of any knowledge gained not on drugs. I always test knowledge that I gain through any method over and over again.