What Matters?

[Vmarco]

What Matters?

 

 

"Soon we all will die; our hopes and fears will be irrelevant...." Padmasambhava

[Vmarco]

What would a healthy world look like?

 

Competition = anti-society.....Cooperation = society.

 

Competition is not only a distraction to spirituality, but has an inherently hostile, us verses them mentality that is contrary to the true nature of basic human beingness. Competition is about as natural and needed as the Abrahamic religions. Just as there is no such thing as healthy delusion or a healthy religion, there is no healthy competition. Competition does not build character, it reinforces low self-esteem.

 

Competiion encourages animosity, envy, hostility, hate, war, and illiberalism. The synonyms of competition include contention, rivalry, conflict, strife, struggle and combativeness. For competition, there is only a winner if their is a loser When viewed integrally, competition undermines all healthy human enterprises. Competition reinforces a psychological dependence on external, object-ive activities. In a competitive society only the winner is good enough. Success is seen through defeating others, not cooperation.

 

Harvard Business School professor Dr. Teresa Amabile, author of Creativity in Context and Growing Up Creative, has given much attention to team creativity, organizational innovation, assessing creativity and motivation.. In one experiment she had two groups make artistic collages. One group competed for prizes through a contest, while the other was unaware of any competition. The art was then independently judged by seven professionals. Those competing for prizes were considered much less creative and complex than the non-competitive crafted collages.

 

Social psychologist Alfie Kohn pointed out in his impressive 'No Contest - The Case Against Competition' a multitude of negative effects of competition, many of them subtle. Kohn articulates that competition arises from four myths. First, the "survival of the fittest", which really manifests a purpetual struggle in society. Second, that competition builds character. Yet it has been shown that only those with low self-esttem require competitive activities. People with high self-esteem has no need to externally prove anything or beat others. Thirdly, that competition is fun. Competition reduces spontaneous play to superiority/humiliation dynamic. Fourthly is the fallacy that competition increases productivity. However, study after study shows that cooperation, not competition, leads to higher levels of achievement. "That most of us consistently fail to consider the alternatives to competition is a testament to the effectiveness of our socialization." Alfie Kohn

 

How could a truely loving parent put their children in competitive surroundings? For me, I never hesitated to play games with my kids. For example, we'd occasionally play the word game known as Scrabble. It wasn't played competitively, but cooperatively. We didn't take part to beat each other, but to continually see how many overall maximum points could be extracted from our play. We would help and encourage each other to find fantastic words. We would use a dictionary to learn new words and their suggested meanings.

 

Competitive contests encourage division, thus reinforcing the illusion of separation. As long as the belief that we are separate is clung to, we keep our sapiential mind obscured, and our thymus glands atrophied. Competition stimulates physical aging. Cooperation on the other hand, not only perpetuates an enhancing of human potential, but promotes a healthy relationship with humanity and our environment.

 

　

[Flolfolil]

Defending, not just offending, is a form of competition. If nothing really matters then.....well you probably see where i am taking this...

[Marblehead]

Defending, not just offending, is a form of competition. If nothing really matters then.....well you probably see where i am taking this...

There is a big difference between defending someone or something and competing. If I save a young child from being run over by a car I am not competing with the driver of the car, I am defending the young child. (That is, unless the driver were actually trying to run over the child.)

[Flolfolil]

Yes marblehead, but do you go around proclaiming that nothing matters? My comment is solely aimed at people who say that and no one else.

[Marblehead]

Yes marblehead, but do you go around proclaiming that nothing matters? My comment is solely aimed at people who say that and no one else.

Hehehe. Okay. No I don't do that. But I have said "Everything matters but nothing matters." This is speaking to the thought that while we have a life everything that effects our life matters. But after we have died nothing matters (as we have no life for it to effect).

[Vmarco]

....I have said "Everything matters but nothing matters." This is speaking to the thought that while we have a life everything that effects our life matters. But after we have died nothing matters (as we have no life for it to effect).

 

The question in the video (3:48 min) is What Matters?

 

To say for example, nothing matters after you die, is dishonest. Perhaps your hopes and dreams no longer matter,...but to say nothing matters, is like saying there are no stars above you in the day time.

[Marblehead]

To say for example, nothing matters after you die, is dishonest. Perhaps your hopes and dreams no longer matter,...but to say nothing matters, is like saying there are no stars above you in the day time.

No, it's not dishonest. After I die nothing will matter to me because I will no longer exist. Things will still matter for those who are still alive.

[Songtsan]

This is all great stuff - thank you.

[thelerner]

Good competition stretches us. Makes us reach further, go longer and reach deeper. There can be too much of it, but some can be a powerful way to bring out the best of a persons talent. Like everything its about balance, neither a military regime, but too lovey dovey, everyone wins mentality, all the time, is bad too. It can create comfort in mediocrity. And competition can be great at teaching cooperation, being part of a team is profound learning experience. Getting along, working together, competing against other teams is not all bad.

 

I think its good to play games non competitively, but there should be room for playing to win. Both can be very fun, for winners and loser. There is an obligation to raise kids to function in society. To never let them join group sports because of some social psych theory, or be competitive in anything, may be ham stringing them when they enter the real world.

 

Balance. Ofcourse I'd add it depends on the individual. Kids with one predilection or the other need to be exposed to the other side. The competitive child needs to learn to chill, enjoy a game for its own sake and be sensitive to others. The kid who shy's away from competitions needs to stretched, to be okay with winning and losing gracefully while on a competitive team. Because they're going to be exposed to competition in life and you don't want them curling into a ball or finding excuses.

Edited July 15, 2013 by thelerner

[Marblehead]

I clicked that I like the post and I do. However, I feel like you are speaking to those who are unable to bring out their best all on their own. There are some people who will always do their best without proding from anyone. (Regretfull many of those are found in governments and they use their power to take advantage of others.)