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[三江源]

 

 

Sex Perfection

Rudolf von Urban, a psychiatrist and psychologist, was originally associated with Sigmund Freud but, like Wilhelm Reich, later immigrated to the United States. In 1952 he published Sex Perfection (Rider & Co, also see http://www.reuniting.info/sex_perfection_and_marital_happiness_von_urban) in which he relates experiences and insights that led him to the conclusion that there is a bio-energetic potential difference between sexually charged males and females which requires about half an hour to be exchanged and reach an equilibrium.

Knowing that his colleagues would not take kindly to facts that contradict their theories, he waited for 30 years before publishing his discoveries. In addition to Karezza he also related the following observations which we need to consider when formulating a theory of sexual energy.

The Arabian Couple: The first account is of a former patient, a medical doctor, and his young Arabian bride. After caressing naked for about an hour without sexual contact in a dark room, he saw the body of his wife surrounded by a greenish-blue hazy light. Moving his palm close to her breast a visible and audible electric spark jumped from the breast to the palm, causing some pain. Von Reichenbach, a distinguished scientist, had previously described similar phenomena without being taken seriously by mainstream scientists.

Following von Urbans suggestions the couple made a series of experiments with the following results: when they caressed for an hour and then had orgasmic intercourse lasting for less than 27 minutes, sparks still moved between them. However, if intercourse after caressing lasted 27 minutes or longer, no more sparks would fly. Furthermore, if they started intercourse immediately without caressing, the woman would not emit a visible radiation, and no sparks would develop regardless of the length of the intercourse.

In addition, caressing followed by orgasmic intercourse lasting less than 27 minutes induced in both a strong desire to have more sex. But if they acted on this with another brief intercourse, they both developed health problems afterwards, such as headaches, asthma and heart-palpitations. Also after caressing and intercourse of short duration the sparks between them became stronger. Urban interpreted these events as showing that a short intercourse eliminated the tension in the sexual organs but increased tension in the rest of their bodies.

The sparks also were stronger a day before the start of her menstrual period, again indicating increased body tension. Von Urban wrote that intercourse for periods of less than 27 minutes increased the distance at which the sparks would jump to more than one inch, indicating that the tension in their bodies became stronger with each (orgasmic) intercourse of short duration.

These sparks, which may only be observed in individuals with strong sexual energy, show that the skin is highly charged with bio-energy. This is pleasurable and desirable as part of sexual foreplay but then it needs to be discharged as part of a prolonged sexual union. If, instead, the skin remains charged up because the following union is too short, then the individual becomes tense and may in time develop stress-related symptoms and diseases.

So, to summarize, orgasmic intercourse for half an hour or more, with or without initial caressing, did not produce any sparks and therefore appears to eliminate all tension. Intercourse for half an hour or more was followed by a pleasant relaxation of the whole body with increased love and happiness of the couple and no desire for another sexual connection for 5 or more days. If the intercourse lasted for an hour this contentment lasted for one week, and after a 2-hour intercourse it lasted for two weeks. This was true even when there was an early ejaculation but they remained sexually connected with a non-erect penis. Later von Urban found these observations confirmed by reports of other couples.

South Sea Islanders: Von Urban also describes the sexual practices of some Melanesian societies as confirming the experiences of the Arabian couple. Foreplay with kissing and caressing takes at least half an hour, but a man never touches the clitoris. Then they connect with their sexual organs and lie motionless together for at least another half hour before starting movements, and after orgasm they remain sexually connected for a long time. On nights when they did not have sex they slept skin to skin but without any kissing or caressing. They had intercourse not more than about every five days, and sexual problems seemed to be unknown in these societies. They made fun of what they regarded as the immature sexual practices of Westerners.

The Neurotic Woman: A beautiful young woman was terrified of men, but after falling in love with a medical assistant of von Urban eventually agreed to marry him on the condition that he would not try to have sex with her. After six weeks, they finally spend their first night together, naked but without any sexual contact. After about half an hour of lying together both experienced an indescribable delight and rapture that lasted the whole night.

However, after 7 hours they had to separate or they would get a feeling of suffocation unless they had a shower, and then they could continue lying blissfully together. During the day they felt exceptionally happy, relaxed and energetic. For 14 years they practiced this celestial type of love-making until they tried conventional sex and lost it. As with the Arabian couple, their experiences were enhanced by having a shower before lying together.

Edited July 19, 2014 by cat

[三江源]

How to achieve sex perfection with a partner, apart from making sure that sex lasts 27 minutes, here is some detailed information.

 

 

 

Von Urban’s Six Rules of Perfect Sex

Preparation: A day chosen for making love should be filled with mutual kindness and affection. A period of love play with kissing and caressing should precede the sex act. Clitoral stimulation should be avoided. Woman who are used to clitoral orgasms should gradually, within a few weeks or months, be helped to refocus on vaginal stimulation.

Comment: Von Urban believed that clitoral stimulation increases tension and makes deep relaxation of the whole body more difficult, and if one is used to clitoral stimulation it also may make it more difficult to achieve deep vaginal orgasm. The main goal for von Urban was not creating strong excitement and coming quickly to an orgasm but rather having a loving and strongly bonding connection with a partner. This does not mean that everyone needs to do it this way, von Urban just believed that it gave the best long-term results in regard to health and relationships.

Position: The partners should adopt a position that allows them to remain fully relaxed during a long intercourse. Preferred is the Scissor Position: the woman lies on her back with knees drawn to the chest, while the male lies on his left side crosswise to her, so that his penis touches the entrance of the vagina. She now drops her legs and he places his right leg between her legs. With this, her left leg is between his legs while her right calf rests on his torso. Sides may be reversed.

The man places the tip of the penis at the opened entrance of the vagina. Now all kissing and caressing should cease and both lovers focus on the energy streams between their sexual organs. It does not matter if the penis is soft or erect. After half an hour and full exchange of sexual energy the penis usually becomes erect and may now enter provided that the vagina is naturally moist. The use of oil is discouraged as it slows the exchange of energy (but this should not be a problem with long connections), and condoms must be avoided (except possibly temporarily for the purpose of ejaculation) because they block the exchange of bio-energy and lead to increased body tension. These recommendations are for couples in long-term relationships, for casual encounters use safe sex practices.

Duration: After the man has learned to control his ejaculation, the 30 minutes outside the vagina are no longer required. For a long connection of one to three hours the couple remains mainly motionless or with slow movements. If ejaculation occurs prematurely, the soft penis should remain inside until at least half an hour since entering. If unwanted pregnancy needs to be avoided then withdraw shortly for ejaculation, urination and washing, and then connect again the penis to the inner lips.

Concentration: During the whole sex act from preparation to finish the couple should focus on each other and what they are doing, become aware of the sensations where they are touching and the energy flows within and between them.

Relaxation: It is essential to relax not only physically by choosing a suitable position, but also mentally and emotionally. Any kind of worry, guilt or preoccupation with work or family problems prevents relaxation and full exchange of bio-energy. Try to overcome such problems by dealing with them at other times, and use relaxation exercises and meditation to switch off when you want to. Another problem is that a woman may suppress her sex drive because of previous abuse or disappointment, and may resist subconsciously. This can usually be overcome with much tenderness, love and patience of her partner.

Frequency: While this may depend mainly on the desire of the partners, von Urban observed that generally after a 30 minute intercourse with proper preparation couples are happy with a five day interval, after one hour intercourse with one-week, and after two hours with two-week intervals. He regards a sufficient interval as important to fully recharge the body batteries with bio-energy.

Comment

Von Urban’s observations seem to show that the undesirable effects of conventional orgasmic sex may be mainly due to unreleased body tensions rather than hormonal changes per se, although hormonal changes may be a result of bio-energetic changes. The increased contentment and happiness after von Urban’s Perfect Sex appears to be the same as after Karezza, and would be due to the combination of persistently raised oxytocin levels and increased relaxation.

The rest period of five days to two weeks between orgasmic events may mean that prolactin rises and testosterone receptor levels fall as after conventional orgasm, but that the duration of the changes depends on the degree to which the body tensions have been neutralized. If there is a prolonged reduction or fluctuation of dopamine levels as after conventional sex, it may be offset by increased oxytocin so that overall there is no negative emotional effect. My personal view is that high oxytocin levels will probably stabilize dopamine levels.

It is not clear if after Karezza there is a 5 to 14 day period of decreased desire for sexual union as after Perfect Sex. Some authors, such as Stockham seem to say so and advocate a waiting period of two weeks or longer between Karezza encounters, while some modern couples may connect daily but often just lie peacefully together or in a meditative state or just snuggle up for comfort. Any period of decreased desire may be much less pronounced with Karezza and mainly due to contentment of being in a bio-energetic equilibrium rather than to an unfavorable hormonal effect.

I suggest that for full heart-centered Karezza sessions a rest period of several days may be appropriate similar as for Perfect Sex to fully charge our sexual batteries, but that for meditation or comfort short daily connections are also fine. For more details on Perfect Sex see http://www.health-science-spirit.com/Sexuality.html.

[三江源]

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Edited July 19, 2014 by cat

[Vanir Thunder Dojo Tan]

A quick fuck maybe not such a good tension reliever after all, then.

 

I am psychologically incapable of "just fucking". I can make love, but it wont "work" for me if my partner just wants a quick fuck; it does not exist. I can make love, I can last for hours (I cant actually shorten the duration), and I can pleasure others, but so far.... I am pretty much a one-sided lay... its all for you, I don't get squat out of it except an ego boost.

[Friend]

Edited August 17, 2013 by Friend

[三江源]

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Edited July 19, 2014 by cat

[三江源]

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Edited July 19, 2014 by cat

[Vanir Thunder Dojo Tan]

You dont get squat out of sex?

 

other than an ego boost, everyone I've been with has either failed to get me off, or had no 'participation' involved (dead fish). I'm not seeking a mate, because im pretty well enough convinced I don't have one.

 

 

I've had better experiences with guys than I have with girls... the girls I've been with, with the sole exception of that crazy bitch I almost married, were completely dead fish. My ex fiancé was a good lay, I can say that to a degree, but 60% or more of the time, she'd quit while she was ahead, and leave me "blue ballsed" to whack it alone.

 

The guys I've been with are only marginally better... because they at LEAST put out long enough for me to get off, but it's still underwhelming when I know he came 30 minutes ago...

 

[Uroboros]

Perfect post, Cat!

 

I started reading Tantra the Yoga of Sex by Omar V. Garrison yesterday and they talk about this in the book.

 

Not as specific as your post, though. The specifics of time and duration are very helpful!

 

Thanks allot!

 

I do feel better after spending at least 30 minutes having sex. Have not tried this exact form yet, its on the list, though.

 

In the Tantra book they talk more about Polarity and harmonization between those the Feminine and Masculine/ Shakti, Shiva.

 

They used the same example of the Arabian couple.

 

Peace.

[Friend]

Edited August 17, 2013 by Friend

[Uroboros]

Friend- In the Tantra book I am reading (mentioned in previous post) they say that when two lovers/ partners are breathing thru both channels, the Pingala and Ida creating the Sushumna, a baby conceived then would be an old soul/ more evolved.

 

Dunno how much that would effect the spirit incarnating, I can see how it would affect the body/ spirit sack that is made, though.

 

Maybe this helps!

 

Peace

[Clarity]

 

I've had better experiences with guys than I have with girls... the girls I've been with, with the sole exception of that crazy bitch I almost married, were completely dead fish. My ex fiancé was a good lay, I can say that to a degree, but 60% or more of the time, she'd quit while she was ahead, and leave me "blue ballsed" to whack it alone.

 

The guys I've been with are only marginally better... because they at LEAST put out long enough for me to get off, but it's still underwhelming when I know he came 30 minutes ago...

 

 

There's definitely some karma there weakening your ability to connect with women. Won't post any details here publicly, but I strengthened you to the karma/spiritual experiences with women.

 

Great topic, thanks for sharing this info Cat.

Edited July 31, 2013 by Clarity

[Vanir Thunder Dojo Tan]

There's definitely some karma there weakening your ability to connect with women. Won't post any details here publicly, but I strengthened you to the karma/spiritual experiences with women.

 

Great topic, thanks for sharing this info Cat.

 

My life is an open book... (and from the 6'th grade onward) if it is conductive to helping me, public or private is irrelevant; i'd do well to know what you're omitting...

 

Post it wherever you're comfortable, I guess

 

[yugenphoenix]

All well and good Cat, but most of us are married with kids. My wife and I have sex 1-2 times a week, but only have time for 15-20 minutes because we have sex when the kids are watching a movie, right before bed when they go to sleep (we have limited time then cause we both work and get up early and need to sleep), etc. We basically have time for "quickies" and have kind of mastered them to keep sex in our life. I feel no increase in tension from them, in contrast we both are more relaxed and happy afterwards. Just my two cents.

[Clarity]

 

My life is an open book... (and from the 6'th grade onward) if it is conductive to helping me, public or private is irrelevant; i'd do well to know what you're omitting...

 

Post it wherever you're comfortable, I guess

 

 

Well, you were getting into some "hopeless" energy with your last few posts. You know the 'ol "I can't get no satisfaction" thing. That hopeless energy definitely must go.

 

OK, so the big thing was a karma of forcing others into prostitution (pimp karma). Faking it is a weakness. I heard "Fake it baby, fake it.....fake that orgasm." No weakness to pimping, prostituting, or faking it.

[Vanir Thunder Dojo Tan]

wow. doesn't sound like me, but if it was my past life, I want to get the hell rid of that karma

I've no relatedness this time... you sure it's ME? I've been able to, at the very minimal least bit, relate to your assessments of me every time until now...
I cannot relate to ever appreciating "faking it"... I've only ever valued authenticity... i'm not sure how to address the "hopeless energy" you describe, as I don't consider it hopelessness, but physics. im not hopeless to gravity simply because I cant fly any more than I am hopeless to sexual gratification just because others cant get me off.

I take great satisfaction in pleasing others... I only feel slightly upset that others cannot please me. I've stopped expecting satisfaction and just taking life as it comes, best as I can.

Good with the bad, sort of thing.

[Clarity]

wow. doesn't sound like me, but if it was my past life, I want to get the hell rid of that karma

 

I've no relatedness this time... you sure it's ME? I've been able to, at the very minimal least bit, relate to your assessments of me every time until now...

I cannot relate to ever appreciating "faking it"... I've only ever valued authenticity... i'm not sure how to address the "hopeless energy" you describe, as I don't consider it hopelessness, but physics. im not hopeless to gravity simply because I cant fly any more than I am hopeless to sexual gratification just because others cant get me off.

 

I take great satisfaction in pleasing others... I only feel slightly upset that others cannot please me. I've stopped expecting satisfaction and just taking life as it comes, best as I can.

 

Good with the bad, sort of thing.

 

It was definitely a karma, coming from the past (as in not this life). In terms of pleasing others and pleasing yourself, what I look for is balance. When there's a lot of unevenness, it creates a weakness.

 

Hopeless to gravity means you fall down.

 

When you say that others 'can't get you off,' perhaps you just haven't met the right person yet. The 'cannot' part of it was weak, that is what revealed the karma.

[Clarity]

So 27 minutes is the magic number.

 

Will have to take it up with the wife this weekend.

 

No pun intended!

[三江源]

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Edited July 19, 2014 by cat

[Creation]

cat, have you checked out Bruce Frantzis' book "Taoist Sexual Meditation"?

[Uroboros]

Cat- In my opinion sex is is a microcosmic version of creation. Both polarities, shiva/shakti/, yin/yang merge together and in that merging life can be created.

 

Even if there is no conception, the amount of healing and power generated is huge! Sexual energy is very powerful.

 

We can use that energy to create a new energetic vessel for a spirit or to heal and strengthen our selves.

 

I figure, since its so powerful and such a strong drive within us, it deserves a certain level of respect and devotion to understanding.. The potential, the truth of what it is.

 

As I have been thinking about the paths that use desires instead of destroying them.. I wondered if the reason so few take that path is because the desires, especially sexual, are so powerful that it is far harder to go into them without being consumed by them...

 

Just some thoughts. Thank you for the great posts, Cat!

 

Creation- What is your opinion of the Taoist Sexual Meditation book? Im curious as to the quality/ usefulness of the information...

 

Peace.

[joeblast]

Its a good book...I havent gotten through all of it yet but it is well written, presented well. Many levels of it, good starting foundational techniques, all right along with BK's water path style of teaching that his other material follows. Of course it'd be nice if one's partner was open to cultivating these things also, otherwise its just not quite the same potential.

[Creation]

Creation- What is your opinion of the Taoist Sexual Meditation book? Im curious as to the quality/ usefulness of the information...

I can't praise it enough. It's not just about sex, it's about the Taoist path in general, the various topics unified by the common thread of sexuality. Frantzis trained for years in a left-hand Taoist sect, and he brings an incredible amount of knowledge and experience to his writing. There is information on techniques for enhancing ordinary sex, synergy between taiji, qigong, etc. and sex, Taoist morality, five phase personality and compatability, all sorts of useful stuff. But when it gets into sexual qigong and sexual meditation it really shines: It is nothing short of astounding to me that information about inter-personal energy work and meditation at that high of a level is available in print.

 

Check out the table of contents here:

http://www.energyarts.com/sites/default/files/Taoist-Sexual%20Meditation-Table-of-Contents.pdf

Edited August 1, 2013 by Creation

[Uroboros]

Thank you, JoeBlast and Creation! I have been pondering whether or not to buy it...Now I will put it on my list!

[Bubbles]

A quick fuck maybe not such a good tension reliever after all, then.

 

My experience showed me that it is indeed a very very bad tension reliever.

During the first months after I met my wife, we knew nothing about karezza but we would often spontaneously make love the karezza way. When we had quickies, it would leave us sad.

When tension is there, just make love to it , and treat the root cause, not the symptom.