Overcoming premature ejaculation

[Jadespear]

Does anyone know of any techniques, herbs, routines to last longer while having sex for men?

[ChiDragon]

Practice Chi Kung or Tai Ji.

[RiverSnake]

1. Relax

2. Slow down your breathing

3. Be completely in the present, don't make sex a means to an end, but a moment you are enjoying with your lover

4. Circulate energy in your body

 

My 2 cents, Peace

[Sloppy Zhang]

Couple ways to go about doing it, and a few angles to consider.

 

One is physical tension. If you are tensed (especially in the genitals or in your body) you're going to ejaculate faster (it is muscle contractions that are responsible for ejaculation). If those muscles are perpetually contracted, or if they contract suddenly and unexpectedly, you're going to ejaculate.

 

So, during sex (or during masturbation practice) take note of where there is tension in your body and release it. The method I like best is the method outlined in B.K. Frantzis' Opening The Energy Gates of Your Body, which teaches you how to identify and release tension. But really any method you like will work.

 

In masturbation practice, you're typically going until the "point of no return," which is the point that, if you keep going, you're going to ejaculate. When you get to that point, you ease off, and you relax any tension. Then you pick up the pace, and when you get to the point of no return, you ease off and relax tension.

 

When you are having sex, you follow the same process of easing off when you get to the point of no return. This doesn't have to be sudden, but you can "cover up" your "backing off" process by emphasizing your kissing, rubbing, etc, and then resume once you've "cooled down" a bit.

 

Speaking of "cooling down" a bit, that's a nice segue into the "Dragon Breaths" taught by B.K. Frantzis. If I recall correctly, two kinds of dragon breaths are taught in his "Taoist Sexual Meditation" book, a heating breath and a cooling breath. When you are "too hot," you ejaculate. So you can use the cooling breath to cool the area of the genitals during sex. I haven't had too much chance to experiment/practice this method, but I have had some positive experiences with regards to cooling my body during solo practice (even in non-sexual practice ya pervs )

 

As an aside these heating/cooling breaths aren't purely sex related. they can be used to heat/cool the body in any situation depending on what ails ya (I'm not an expert on Chinese medicine, so I'll leave the topic of what issue are called by hot/cool/damp/whatever to others)

 

Other things to play with are where is your awareness during sex? Sometimes during intercourse I like to place my awareness in my feet (to drop the energy maybe?) I'm not a master of my awareness, so it sometimes doesn't always happen, or, depending on the position, I wind up feeling my partner's feet more than my own and the extra contact stimulates me more

 

Playing with the point of no return and relaxing/backing off is something I've been working on for the longest, so I've got the most experience. It's pretty handy, and can keep you going for a while. I've also heard that this is the way to get orgasm without ejaculation. If you train yourself to relax into the pleasure, rather than tensing up, the muscles that trigger ejaculation don't get engaged, and you orgasm without ejaculation. I have had a few non-ejaculatory orgasms, but isn't something that I can do reliably. It's mostly in the moment. As with most of my practices, I get lazy even with the fun ones.

 

I haven't tried any of the PC muscle clenching/tensing to stave off ejaculation. So I can't speak to that. I'm more a fan of the relaxation methods, so I lean toward that.

 

I have also only recently started working on the MCO, so not sure how effective that is during sex to circulate/divert energy away from the genitals.

 

 

As an aside, I've never had too much of a problem with premature ejaculation, aside from the standard male scenario of "men generally get off in less time than women, so I want to last longer for my girlfriend."

 

That said, sex with your hand or other masturbatory devices is a lot different than sex with another person, so even if you practice a lot on your own (always good) your practice is going to start over (to some extent) when you start practicing with another person.

 

 

Now let's not even start talking about feeling and playing with your partner's energy