Motivational Proverbs on Solitude, Loneliness and Friends

[becomethepath]

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Edited September 8, 2013 by becomethepath

[Jetsun]

It might be worth considering that the desire to escape from others is mostly a masculine yang approach to spirituality, the feminine approach is usually more relational with an embracing of all, like the mother's complete loving embrace. So the desire to be alone is not necessarily any better for you spiritually than the desire to be with and connect with others.

 

Being 21 I think it is much healthier to be connecting with others than alone, it is a very healthy drive for someone of your age. A person doesn't stop being a divine being just because they don't see it in themselves or others, they never stop being what they are even if they don't recognize it and spend their time clubbing and drinking. It can help to find others with similar spiritual interests though, you help each other wake up.

[grady]

It's better to be alone than to wish you were.

[becomethepath]

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Edited September 8, 2013 by becomethepath

[SEEKER OF TRUTH]

In order to know the center, to be in the center and find a balance, you must know the extremes and you must experience them, to truly know them, otherwise finding a balance is only a theory that we read about. It takes 48.4 years to find a balance, so have some fun, don't take it all so seriously, and keep questioning yourself and your motives (ego) and maybe you can knock a few years off and find peace by 45.

[Chang]

“Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a god”

 

Francis Bacon

 

Solitude is painful when one is young, but delightful when one is more mature.

Albert Einstein (1879-1955) German-Swiss-U.S. scientist.

Edited August 7, 2013 by Chang

[LCH]

After a night of contemplation and solitude on this topic, I finally reached a conclusion.

 

I tell myself everyone is scared to be alone, I'm doing something that no one has the courage to. The truth hurts, the truth about reality, and life, it's scary to know the truth, the unknown, where there is no sense of control, and security. Friends are illusions, people are "friends" with each other because they are scared to be alone, in the end we are all alone in this world. Even friends that care about you, they are alone as well, they are scared that's why they are your friend, you keep them secure, like a distraction, and escapism from their own pain. People that are popular, that have many friends, they are alone as well, strip away the materialism, strip away the friends away and they will crawl and curl up, scared to see the truth. Friends are an illusion, a form of escapism from the truth, from reality. But it is amazing how people can meet each other in this world, they can date, they can bond, it's crazy! But in the end, nothing is permanent, the love that was once there is also impermanent. People will feel sadness and sorrow, and thus continue the cycle of suffering, there will be times of happiness, times of joy and laughter but even those are impermanent. Escapism and distractions such as drugs, alcohol, videogames, gambling, working, watching movies blinds you from the truth. Activities that invoke excessive emotion such as adrenaline, fear, esctacy, laughter will also blind you from the truth. I feel like the only way to truly enjoy bliss and happiness is to love oneself, to go into solitude and seek the truth, to see that this world is an illusion, to see we are all atoms and energy connected with each other, to be able to develop the sense of pure love in oneself. Compassion and love is good, compassion and love brings positive energy to this world, although temporary feelings, they are still positive energy the world needs. That's why it's important to go into solitude and mindfulness, to find your trueself and to see the truth, once you love yourself and is in oneness, you'll find permanent happiness (oneness) in this world and beyond thus allowing others to follow your inspiration and create their own paths as well. We live in a prison, in order to be free from the prison we must free our mind from addictions, pain, suffering, attachments and distractions. Amituofo.

 

 

Just from personal experience...

 

There is benefit to external interaction. It can serve as a great catalyst for personal cultivation through the observation of human interactions and the "stealing" of potential.

 

Not every friendship is based on a fear of being alone. "Real" ones can give you that feeling of recognizing the entire universe/omniverse/all-that-is in the head of a needle. "Real" ones are void of co-dependency and exist over any period of "time".

 

Having said that, the goal in my practice is to live that time/space illusion in every interaction I have with people. In our modern world, this can be difficult since most every collective expression is branded with an energy to the contrary. People always rushing from here to there, wanting to buy this or that. Who am I to judge them? In fact, observing this behavior allows me to fall more comfortably into my own path.

 

Often called the path of the fool...

 

Yes, as one self-actualizes more and more, the need for many friends diminishes because those needy aspects are being satisfied on a personal level. Ultimately, "need" is no longer recognized.

 

The dynamics of the collectively held belief about inter-personal romantic relationships do not resonate well with someone who is working on attaining "wholeness" within themselves. I can attest to this, and it is one of my longest held programs. One that I have finally gotten under control.

 

but...

 

As one becomes more "whole" why not share such a gift with the world? I ask myself this on a daily basis. Sharing without demands or expectations. Through this process, others on a similar path will make themselves known, even if they know nothing of "spirituality" or self-cultivation.

 

It takes tremendous courage to swim in the opposite direction, and I commend you, BTP. Perhaps you will realize that you can swim against the currents while flowing with the current.

 

Thus, to me at least, is the paradox of the Tao.

 

Thanks for the opportunity to delve into this in my own experience.

Edited August 7, 2013 by LCH

[C T]

"When the clarity of practice becomes obscured by the dark and swirling energy

of emotional distress, it is useful to have some clear and concise reminders to bring

us back to reality. The first reminder is to awaken aspiration. On an elementary level,

to awaken aspiration means simply that we remember to practice. Once we remember

to practice, to awaken aspiration means that we see our particular distress as our path.

Instead of seeing our distress as the enemy, as something to get rid of... instead of giving

it juice by solidifying the thoughts around it into the heaviness and drama of 'me', we learn

to view distress as our opportunity to see and to open." --- Ezra Bayda

 

 

 

no mud, no lotus.

[C T]

[idiot_stimpy]

I'm only 21...

 

 

Hats off to you for coming to these realizations and being so young.

[becomethepath]

Hats off to you for coming to these realizations and being so young.

thank you, for some reason I feel like I'm growing younger and younger everyday!

[hod]

Solitude is painful when one is young, but delightful when one is more mature.

Albert Einstein (1879-1955) German-Swiss-U.S. scientist.

In my life I have found this to be very correct.

 

 

I would suggest not to fight your nature.

Regret can be a scare that will never heal.

Don't be the 40 year old trying to party with college kids.

Socialize now and find solitude when you truly are ready for it.

Following the path is following your nature, not forcing your nature.

 

 

My two cents from what I've learned from life.

[thelerner]

"Solitude is the highest stage. Only in solitude can man attain..union with the eternal God. Therefore a man must seek to be alone, at least for an hour each day, especially at night, when everyone is asleep and all things are quiet. Solitude in the open air, in the forest or in the desert, is of the utmost importance." -Jewish mystic Rabbi Nachman of Bratzlav

Edited August 8, 2013 by thelerner

[skydog]

There is a story of a shaman who heard voices in his head so he went to learn about nature from a mountain for 12 years.Many people do these things, only concepts says its bad.

 

SOmetimes solitude is painful but giving up would be a waste one comes to learn from it.

 

Do you want to be a guy that needs others around for his sense of self and cant say no or yes to friendships etc, if you are that guy then you will have low quality friendships and little freedom

 

On the other hand

 

Relationships are a great way to grow, Eckhart Tolle said one can learn more from one year of 3 3 month relationships than 10 years on an island or something.

 

When are we ever alone?

 

Im not a quoting person, so I usually share my own/others thoughts.

Edited August 8, 2013 by skydog

[rex]

By sheer chance this just popped into my mailbox:

 

Dear Rising Phoenix,

 

The Ageless Wisdom teaches that, all the knowledge garnered through our previous incarnations is stored in the deeper level of the Soul, in the Neschamah.

Many people write to me asking: “How can I develop my inner senses to access my higher knowing?” The main factor that prevents a person from discovering their inner riches is . . . other people!

There are too many people impinging on each other all the time. The sound of voices talking, always talking, deadens our sensibilities - our subtle hearing. Why do people continuously listen to canned music, to voices on TV, on radio, on headphones - for hour after hour? It is because of their secret fear of silence.

No living soul should ever be compelled to be in the company of others, at all hours of the day or night. It is soul-destroying; and it cripples our ability to think, to reason, and to intuit. It prevents the deeper things within us from flourishing.

Everybody could find at least some part of the day when they could be by themselves (even if only in a public place - among strangers to whom they need not speak). Being alone is not a physical condition, it is a mental skill. The ability ‘to be alone’ is a great accomplishment. When you can cut yourself off from the ‘the babble of humanity’, then you can hear the voice of Nature, of the heavenly Spheres, and of the Angels. Those things are drowned by the clatter of tongues. True Wisdom is, above all, the supreme study of those who have the ability to be alone, for then the Higher Worlds will open. This teaches the value of being solitary - of setting yourself apart by deed and thought from the noise of mankind - so that you may commune with the highest in you.

And, I get even more people writing to say: “Oh, I would love to study spiritual and esoteric matters, if only I had the time.”

Well, we all have the time - if we make it so - if we put aside the trivialities of life. None of us has time for anything meaningful, if all we do is our work, our duties, and then just entertain ourselves.

One must be keen on finding the Light within; and that needs time dedicated to it. Even one hour a day would help – one hour in which you studied something pertaining to higher things. And yet so few people make the time to learn about what is their imperishable Self!

If we sleep one hour less a night – then, over a week – we would have seven hours to dedicate to working with our Soul.

There is a Sufi saying about being Alone with the Alone (the All-ONE). Unless we make time to be quiet with ourselves – to focus upon the things of the Spirit - we will never progress.

 

Thank you for being a subscriber.

 

May All Our Efforts Manifest in Beauty,

 

David Goddard
Co-Founder - Rising Phoenix Foundation

 

Edit: tpyos

Edited August 12, 2013 by rex

[becomethepath]

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Edited September 8, 2013 by becomethepath

[becomethepath]

Solitude is the place of purification.
Martin Buber

 

The more powerful and original a mind, the more it will incline towards the religion of solitude.

Aldous Huxley

 

One can be instructed in society, one is inspired only in solitude.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 

Great men are like eagles, and build their nest on some lofty solitude.
Arthur Schopenhauer

 

Cultivate solitude and quiet and a few sincere friends, rather than mob merriment, noise and thousands of nodding acquaintances.
William Powell

 

Solitude is independence.
Hermann Hesse

 

He who lives in solitude may make his own laws.
Publilius Syrus

 

To go out with the setting sun on an empty beach is to truly embrace your solitude.
Jeanne Moreau

 

Solitude is un-American.
Erica Jong

 

Solitude, though it may be silent as light, is like light, the mightiest of agencies; for solitude is essential to man. All men come into this world alone and leave it alone.
Thomas de Quincey

 

Solitude has its own very strange beauty to it.
Liv Tyler

[becomethepath]

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Edited September 8, 2013 by becomethepath

[becomethepath]

Life is too short!

Edited August 16, 2013 by becomethepath

[Jetsun]

You can be in solitude when around others, I have come to the conclusion that when some masters talk about solitude they are talking about not taking ideas, beliefs and perceptions with you rather than actually being physically alone. To go into solitude within yourself is to go into yourself with a completely beginners mind with no attempt to change anything to look squarely in the eye whatever is there without any help from any outside force, it may help to get away from others to do this but not necessarily.

[Gypsy]

Aloneness solitude is your nature.

One Path. Either you follow the path of love, devotion, dancing, dissolve yourself-other completely into your love toward the inner divine. The path is of dissolving, no awareness is needed. You are needed to be drunk, completely drunk with ThyRock. Or choose the path of meditation. Try 50 hours a week. There you are not needed to be dissolved into anything. There you will become very integrated, alert, aware. Follow the path of love and one day, suddenly, you will see that meditation has flowered within you-thousands of white lotuses. Enjoy your being, that's all. Enjoy Life, that's all. A being of warmth is simply health. No more searching, or claiming a result. Everything just is, as it is. Life's whole works consist of moving inside. The religion world is the world of the within. And the within is the beyond.

 

In Latin sin has 2 meanings: one is "missing the target," and the other is even more beautiful--"without." Sin means to be without, to be outside yourself-(thinking inner content)-haha. Virtue means to be within--to be inside yourself-with content.

 

"Soon after the death of Rabbi Moshe, Rabbi Mendel of Kotyk asked one of his disciples, "What was most important to your teacher?"

The disciple thought and then replied, "Whatever he happened to be doing at the moment."

The moment is the most important thing!

[LCH]

There seems to be times for solitude in the sense of being physically alone, and times to learn from interaction with other humans.

 

Personally, the "Tao" is easy to see on a hilltop in autumn when no other human souls are around, but can that recognition and feeling be taken into the mall on a Friday night?

 

Oh, how I have bemoaned the existence and lives of others who just didn't "get it". Of course, it was I who had yet to "get it" as I had yet to fully realize, remember and embody my primordial "beginning". There are still times where I do not embody this awareness, and the disharmony is instantaneous. Not acting on it has become my challenge.

[LCH]

Becomethepath mentioned a Huxley quote above. Huxley was an interesting character, who, I feel had a bit more of an agenda.

 

I have included an excerpt from his book "Point Counterpoint" (1928). He describes rather eloquently the pitfalls of becoming too intellectual about life and not being able to integrate into society.

 

I can relate to this excerpt because I have a penchant for intellectualism, and I used it to withdraw from society.

 

I added the bold to parts I found a particular connection to.

 

[...] The chief difference between us, alas, is that his opinions are lived and mine, in the main, only thought. Like him, I mistrust intellectualism, but intellectually, I disbelieve in the adequacy of any scientific or philosophical theory, any abstract moral principal, but on the scientific, philosophical, and abstract-moral grounds. The problem for me is to transform a detached intellectual scepticism into a way of harmonious all-around living.

The course of every intellectual, if he pursues his journey long and unflinchinly enough, ends in the obvious, from which the non-intellectuals have never stirred. [...] Many intellectuals, of course, don’t get far enough to reach the obvious again. They remain stuck in a pathetic belief in rationalism and the absolute supremacy of mental values and the entirely conscious will. You’ve got to go further than the Nineteenth Century fellows, for example; as far at least as Protagoras and Pyrrho, before you get back to the obvious in which the non-intellectuals have always remained. And one must hasten to make it clear that these non-intellectuals aren’t the modern canaille who read the picture papers and listen-in and jazz and are preocupied with making money and having the awful modern “good time”. No, no; one isn’t paying a compliment to the hard-headed business man or the low-brow. For, in spite of their stupidity and tastelessness and vulgarity and infantility (or rather because of all these defects), they aren’t the non-intellectuals I’m talking about. They take the main intellectualist axiom for granted-that there’s an intrinsic superiority in mental, conscious, voluntary life over physical, intuitive, instinctive, emotional life.

 

The whole of modern civilization is based on the idea that the specialized function which gives a man his place in society is more important than the whole man, or rather is the whole man, all the rest being irrelevant or even (since the physical, intuitive, instinctive and emotional part of man doesn’t contribute appreciably to making money or getting on in an industrialized world) positively harmful and detestable. The low-brow of our modern industrialized society has all the defects of the intellectual and none of his redeeming qualities. The non-intellectuals I’m thinking of are very different beings. One might still find a few of them in Italy (though Fascism has probably turned them all into bad imitations of Americans and Prussians by this time); a few perhaps in Spain, in Greece, in Provence. Not elsewhere in modern Europe. There were probably quite a lot of them three thousand years ago. But the combined efforts of Plato and Aristotle, Jesus, Newton, and big business have turned their descendants into the modern bourgeoisie and proletariat.

 

The obvious that the intellectual gets back to, if he goes far enough, isn’t, of course, the same as the obvious of the non-intellectuals. For their obvious is life itself and his recovered obvious is only the idea of that life. Not many can put flesh and blood on the idea and turn it into reality. [...] I perceive now that the real charm of the intellectual life – the life devoted to erudition, to scientific research, to philosophy, to aesthetics, to criticism – is its easiness. It´s the substitution of simple intellectual schemata for the complexities of reality; of still and formal death for the bewildering movements of life. It’s incomparably easier to know a lot, say, about the history of art and to have profound ideas about metaphysics and sociology than to know personally and intuitively a lot about one’s fellows and to have satisfactory relations with one’s friends and lovers, one’s wife and children. Living’s much more difficult than Sanskrit or chemistry or economics. The intellectual life is child’s play; which is why intellectuals tend to become children – and then imbeciles and finally, as the political and industrial history of the last few centuries clearly demonstrates, homicidal lunatics and wild beasts.

 

The repressed functions don’t die; they deteriorate, they fester, they revert to primitiveness. But meanwhile it’s much easier to be an intellectual child or lunatic or beast than a harmonious adult man. That’s why (among other reasons) there’s such a demand for higher education. The rush to books and universities is like the rush to the public house. People want to drown their realization of the difficulties of living properly in this grotesque contemporary world, they want to forget their own deplorable inefficiency as artists in life. Some drown their sorrows in alcohol, but still more drown them in books and artistic dilettantism; some try to forget themselves in fornication, dancing, movies, listening-in, others in lectures and scientific hobbies. The books and lectures are better sorrow-drowners than drink and fornication; they leave no headache, none of that despairing post coitum triste feeling. Till quite recently, I must confess, I too took learning and philosophy and science – all the activities that are magniloquently lumped under the title of “The Search for Truth” – very seriously. I regarded the Search for Truth as the highest of human tasks and the Searchers as the noblest of men. But in the last year or so I have begun to see that this famous Search for Truth is just an amusement, a distraction like any other, a rather refined and elaborate substitute for genuine living; and that Truth-Searchers become just as silly, infantile, and corrupt in their way as the boozers, the pure aesthetes, the business men, the Good-Timers in theirs. I also perceived that the pursuit of Truth is just a polite name for the intellectual’s favourite pastime of substituting simple and therefore false abstractions for the living complexities of reality. But seeking Truth is much easier than learning the art of integral living (in which, of course, Truth-Seeking will take its due and proportionate place along with the other amusements, like skittles and mountain climbing).

 

Which explains, though it doesn’t justify, my continued and excessive indulgence in the vices of informative reading and abstract generalization. Shall I ever have the strength of mind to break myself of these indolent habits of intellectualism and devote my energies to the more serious and difficult task of living integrally? And even if I did try to break these habits, shouldn’t I find that heredity was at the bottom of them and that I was congenitally incapable of living wholly and harmoniously?

[C T]

"congenitally incapable of living wholly and harmoniously"

 

 

Cant agree with the above. Habits which give rise to contractive states can be transformed for sure. The idea is to know (i mean really know) when and how to reroute an intention once a particular one come to the fore of consciousness so as to yield a transcended outcome to that same intention.

 

For example, one notices the arising of an emotion which will lead to anger. Instead of diverging into an analytical mode to try to find an understanding of this particular emotive spark, find creative ways to channel that energy elsewhere which could bring a beneficial outcome to oneself and others. Do this often enough, and it becomes a new habit. Then that particular disturbance becomes a sort of protector instead of an enemy. The great thing is one need not even do anything directly to try and exert some sort of forced influence to change one's self. All it takes is a genuine desire to bring some joy and happiness to others. With this as the motivation, every negative emotional spark can be effortlessly channelled to yield a wanted outcome.

[LCH]

"congenitally incapable of living wholly and harmoniously"

 

 

Cant agree with the above. Habits which give rise to contractive states can be transformed for sure. The idea is to know (i mean really know) when and how to reroute an intention once a particular one come to the fore of consciousness so as to yield a transcended outcome to that same intention.

 

For example, one notices the arising of an emotion which will lead to anger. Instead of diverging into an analytical mode to try to find an understanding of this particular emotive spark, find creative ways to channel that energy elsewhere which could bring a beneficial outcome to oneself and others. Do this often enough, and it becomes a new habit. Then that particular disturbance becomes a sort of protector instead of an enemy. The great thing is one need not even do anything directly to try and exert some sort of forced influence to change one's self. All it takes is a genuine desire to bring some joy and happiness to others. With this as the motivation, every negative emotional spark can be effortlessly channelled to yield a wanted outcome.

 

I agree, and perhaps Huxley was aware of it, though he definitely takes the position of an esteemed "intellectual" in this passage.

 

I feel he is lamenting his abundance of knowledge which has not been transformed into a means of "living the way".

 

Whether he got it or not, is immaterial to me as he is writing about something that often plagues the human mind. Nature/nurture, predisposition etc...