Slight mishap in the Hermetic forum

[Apech]

As Steward I feel I need to report a slight mishap in the Hermetic forum. A new member wandered into our regular Sabbat coven circle by chance and it seems that the Frogulus frogularum incantation (which we use as a regular protection) may have inadvertently transformed him into a toad. Unfortunately and perhaps a little carelessly I neglected to learn the reversing spell for this one … so it is probably permanent.

 

I have written to his family offering apologies under the title 'Oooops' and received a very warm and understanding email back from his mother. She says that until I wrote to her she had not even noticed the change in her son as he spent nearly all his time in his bedroom glued to his keyboard surfing on nsfw and so on. But now I have drawn her attention to this change, she has observed while previously he was pale and spotty … now his complexion, a healthy green, is a distinct improvement even though he is a little warty. He is now more outgoing and a big hit with the girls from school who like to pet and cuddle him which he seems to enjoy. He has even joined the local congregation although an attempted exorcism/laying on of hands backfired when after a lot of prayer and shouting to Jesus he simply croaked 'Alleluyah! I was blind and now I can hop! I was dead and now I am spawn again'.

 

I wonder if we should post some kind of warning on the main page but of course make it clear that TBs is an amphibian friendly board catering to a wide range of species and not just mammalians. However amulets of protection must be worn when entering the darker regions of the sub-fora.

 

[Zhongyongdaoist]

It's back to Hogwort's for you Apech! You obviously need some serious review time.

 

Purely pedantic rusty Latinist's note: Is Frogulus frogularum to be interpreted like Lord of Lords, King of Kings, Frog of Frog's? And also since us have used the masculine 'us' ending for frogul, shouldn't be the Latin masculine possesive 'orum' rather than the feminine possessive 'arum' or is some esoteric gender bending to be implied here like, Lady of Lords, Queen of Kings and finally, I regret I don't know off hand what the female of frogs would such that one could say vixen as in the case of foxes, so I will just say Frogess of Frogs? In any case my Latin is 35 years rusty and I may be completely misunderstanding the whole business.

 

As always your true fan even if you do need to go back to Hogwarts and possibly brush up on your Latin.

 

Second Note: Sorry, you see what rust and haste can do for you, or against you for that matter. I made the mistake of unwittingly importing Germanic/English place oriented grammer into my translation of Frogulus Frogularum, which in Latin where meaning is based on changing the endings rather then position of the sentence, would be Frog of Frogesses, which might explain his interest in and apparent success with the ladies.

 

Still forgetting the reversal spell is pretty unforgivable and success with the ladies could have been accomplished in other ways. So, it's still back to Hogwart's for you and maybe we both need to review our Latin.

 

Edit: added 'Purely Pedantic note etc. . . .'. People who liked this before are free to unlike after this change if they so desire.

 

Second edit: added second note above. Again people who liked this before are invited to unlike it after this edit also.

Edited August 9, 2013 by Zhongyongdaoist

[Taomeow]

I am reluctant to offer a protective spell for humans against similar mishaps, since apparently such transformation, according to the mother of the accidental recipient, could be a blessing in disguise, and I wouldn't want to take away anyone's bliss in exploring possible advantages of joining a different species. However, for those who wish to safeguard their pet animals, aquarium fish, and/or cattle from an onslaught of transformers, wolves in sheep's skin and humans in frog's skin and mutilating aliens and GM meddlers, here's a protective spell:

 

На море-окияне лежит бел Алатырь камень, а на камне небесная сила. Пойду я поближе, поклонюсь пониже: Силы небесные! Пошлите вашу помощь и силу на наш скот, милый живот, в чистое поле, в зеленые луга, в темные леса.

Edited August 9, 2013 by Taomeow

[Apech]

I am reluctant to offer a protective spell for humans against similar mishaps, since apparently such transformation, according to the mother of the accidental recipient, could be a blessing in disguise, and I wouldn't want to take away anyone's bliss in exploring possible advantages of joining a different species. However, for those who wish to safeguard their pet animals, aquarium fish, and/or cattle from an onslaught of transformers, wolves in sheep's skin and humans in frog's skin and mutilating aliens and GM meddlers, here's a protective spell:

 

На море-окияне лежит бел Алатырь камень, а на камне небесная сила. Пойду я поближе, поклонюсь пониже: Силы небесные! Пошлите вашу помощь и силу на наш скот, милый живот, в чистое поле, в зеленые луга, в темные леса.

 

Thank you TM ... I was hoping for some helpful serious magic ... and I got it ... some of your letters seem a little strange and back to front but nothings perfect.

[Taomeow]

Oh, sorry. Here's in letters of your tradition:

 

Na more-okiyane lezhit bel Alatyr'-kamen', a na kamne nebesnaya sila. Poidu ya poblizhe, pokloniyus' ponizhe: Sily nebesniye! Poshlite vashu pomoshch' i silu na nash skot, milyi zhivot, v chistoye pole, v zelyoniye luga, v tyomniye lesa.

[Apech]

Oh, sorry. Here's in letters of your tradition:

 

Na more-okiyane lezhit bel Alatyr'-kamen', a na kamne nebesnaya sila. Poidu ya poblizhe, pokloniyus' ponizhe: Sily nebesniye! Poshlite vashu pomoshch' i silu na nash skot, milyi zhivot, v chistoye pole, v zelyoniye luga, v tyomniye lesa.

 

 

Ah thanks I get it now

[Seth Ananda]

I have been trying to cover this up as much as possible, but that annoying Dan Brown has been snooping around looking for much needed inspiration for a new novel, but not close enough to activate the FF himself, yet...

 

As for the new member, I am concerned that all may be not as it seems. Frogulus may have done its job well. In scrying the event and with tea leaf readings I keep getting signs and omens of our ancient enemy, the Great Mecanoid Singularity Poodle. If our new member was indeed a plant, then things bode ill.

We may have been mistaken as more promiscuous clones to be infiltrated and converted to their ways of the hysterical prude.

 

Unfortunately if frogboy spent any time with us, he may have noticed our freedom from those dichotomies, which may jeopardize our ongoing operations within both those factions...

 

LVX 93 and more importantly ?&!

[Apech]

I have been trying to cover this up as much as possible, but that annoying Dan Brown has been snooping around looking for much needed inspiration for a new novel, but not close enough to activate the FF himself, yet...

 

As for the new member, I am concerned that all may be not as it seems. Frogulus may have done its job well. In scrying the event and with tea leaf readings I keep getting signs and omens of our ancient enemy, the Great Mecanoid Singularity Poodle. If our new member was indeed a plant, then things bode ill.

We may have been mistaken as more promiscuous clones to be infiltrated and converted to their ways of the hysterical prude.

 

Unfortunately if frogboy spent any time with us, he may have noticed our freedom from those dichotomies, which may jeopardize our ongoing operations within both those factions...

 

LVX 93 and more importantly ?&!

 

 

Sir! I salute you ... your paranoia is an example to us all.

[idiot_stimpy]

[Apech]

@idiot_stimpy - that is one fucking great frog!

[Apech]

@Donald Z. - "Frog of Frogesses"

 

Now you have perceptively wandered into the heart of the matter. As you know the primeval eight of Hermopolis (the Ogdoad were frogs and serpents) they 'existed' in a state called being 'combined with their shadows" ... thus in the pre-creational waters the powers which were 'later' to form the world hovered in and out of being, their positive and negative aspects, their male and female aspects being interwoven and not yet fully distinguished. Thus the frog could be a she/he he/she frog a transexual frog/not-frog indeed.

 

Thank you for pointing this out with your rusty Latin.

 

If you have anything else rusty please leave it out Tuesday morning when a man with a horse and cart will pick it up for recycling.

 

Thank you.

[idiot_stimpy]

If you have anything else rusty please leave it out Tuesday morning when a man with a horse and cart will pick it up for recycling.

 

Thank you.

 

 

[Vanir Thunder Dojo Tan]

I'll exhale for the frogs. but I hope you don't mind the smell of goat poo...

[Apech]

@idiot_s ... I said Tuesday morning!

[Apech]

I'll exhale for the frogs. but I hope you don't mind the smell of goat poo...

 

 

Good, good, now we're getting somewhere. frog =amphibians ... jumping about on lilly pads and so on ... eating flies. Goats = capricorn ... mutable earth sign ... hence the solid matter ... goat poo. You exhale = air. So frog/water, goat poo/earth, breath/air ... and what's missing? eh?? come on ....

Edited August 9, 2013 by Apech

[Zhongyongdaoist]

Remember Capricorn is the Sea Goat:



In a sense already amphibian. Great mysteries hiding here. We need to be careful what is posted on an open forum.

[Zhongyongdaoist]

I don't know, the look in its eye (the one you can see that is), the hands over his tummy . . .

 

 

Maybe he ate something he didn't like. It just seems to me to be an odd position for a frog to be in.

 

I know everyone will hate me for saying that, but I have to do something to change the topic, otherwise the secret of the Grosse und Gewaltige Meergeist may be revealed.

[Zhongyongdaoist]

The mysterious frog has disappeared, no doubt the invisible hand of the illuminati. So to give this whole unpleasant business some redeeming ending I am posting this enlightening discussion:

Naturally it has some distant relation to the peach of immortality, but exactly what I cannot say, except within the cone of silence.

 

Edit replaced 'invisible had' with invisible hand.

Edited August 12, 2013 by Zhongyongdaoist

[Apech]

 

Hermetic Sub-Forum HEALTH and SAFETY warning

 

It has been brought to my attention by the Hedgerow Witch Society that risks to health and safety exist in the field and that a public warning must be made to all participants in the monthly WILD HUNT.

 

Many of the local hedges are topped with Spikey Devils Claw and the razor sharp Thorned Adders Wort. As such they expose WILD HUNT revellers to a real and pertinent danger.

 

As is often the case the more enthusiastic members of the Hermetic Sub Forum are wont to leap such hedges when filled with full throttle ecstatic wyrding juice. It would be disappointing then, to say the least if they, on looking back from such a leap were to see their sacred glistening lingham of joy hanging like an over-cooked frankfurter from the high branches. We don't want this to happen and in order to prevent such an event we are issuing safety equipment.

 

The Stealth Armoured Telescopic Fore-sock OR the Pecker-Pouch Lite cod-piece MUST BE WORN by all WILD HUNT MEMBERS. NB. these must be correctly fitted and ordering the XXL for vanities sake will not be allowed. There is a plentiful supply of small to below average sizes.

 

Random spot checks will be carried out volunteers from the Moderation Team this will include strap tightening.

 

[Zhongyongdaoist]

This seems to be a dangerous place to hang out, literally or figuratively, are you sure anyone should be here at all?