...

[ganjaboy]

I am a 19 yr old male and i have been currently been celibate for 30 days. In that time, I have already seen great transformation of mind and my psychological approach to the world. I feel that I have gone from being a rather ordinary slacker with little self confidence to a much more confident and determined individual.

 

I don't know how else to describe the changes that have occurred except to say that it has been made clear to me how damaging self-pleasure was to my soul and mind. my intellectualizing of it is that the more often jing-essence is released, the more empty the soul and heart become, the less confident a man will feel, as well as more physically connected to the world. i went from being a user of pornography, whom was uncomfortable around women, to a guy who can casually engage any girl in conversation. i am aroused by real women. Girls seem to sense this energy and are more drawn to me as well..... i get hit on by girls now more than ever, lol. i was always self-confident about my size, as i am only 5'5" and 110 lbs, but now i truly do not care...because i can feel the inner fire burning

 

also -- statistically, I believe it is true that men experience more orgasms than women. this addicts men to the physical aspect of sex, and they will do anything to have that physical experience, with ANYONE, hence, prostitution, et cetera. since women are more conservative, they are more discriminating with regard to partner and they must have their heart-energy attached as well. they also are more in-tune with the heart and soul orgasms that can occur in life...

 

since being celibate, i receive joy and orgasm of SPIRIT by simply being in the COMPANY of women, if that makes sense. the "jing", or fierce, intense, primal willpower which is present as a result of being celibate, i channel into music, which is my passion. i can create more fiercely than ever before, and my determination is strong as an ox. i do not need to waste this willpower on expenditure of genetic material, lol.

 

so, haha....the path to enlightenment....am i doing it right?

Edited October 27, 2013 by dhiggs

[Aetherous]

my intellectualizing of it is that the more often jing-essence is released, the more empty the soul and heart become

 

Good observation.

[ganjaboy]

That's right. Already, I have no desire for pornography/prostitution at all, nor do I have a physical need for sex which results in release of jing-essence. I feel the energy flowing through me by being in the presence of women, and even men lol.

 

Call me crazy, but the longer I restrain/retain/cultivate jing, i am actually witnessing physical and social effects. Women/girls smile at me and notice me more, as do gay men. my brow has become heavier, and my eyes darker and more full of "life". i feel that these effects are bordering on magical...

[RiverSnake]

Yeah after reading this and some deep contemplation, I decided that I don't need sexual desire. It's my second day on trying to destroy the obstruction. Since you have no need for sex, there's no need to care about whether you're cute or ugly. So you're walking around and now people can pick up on your jing. You think of it like this, you're going back to a baby state where you didn't know about sex yet hundreds, thousands of people keep pointing out how cute you are. The people can't stop but stare and smile at it. Since you're an adult, the women say he's very cute, just like a baby, since he's old enough let me sleep with him. That's where the danger come.

Destroy is not the best word choice to use IMO, I think it is both psychological and emotionally unhealthy to have that kind of attitude that you have to destroy a part of yourself. IMO, it is better to relax into tension and slowly dissolve. Ofcourse there are other approaches as well, the ladder is a bit of a watery way of approaching....but you'll find you have all the fire you need when practicing celibacy.

 

My 2 cents, Peace

[Uroboros]

Destroy, relax. both getting rid of something haha.

 

Both involve a breaking down/ release. The attatched meaning is somewhat different, though.

 

Destruction is a getting rid of, a battling. Completely breaking something down until it no longer exists.

 

Relaxing is simply letting it go. Letting something be. An expanding. Fluidity.

 

This may not be how everyone sees these words. My point is that words are given meaning and the words we use are important.

 

Each time we say destruction, we conjur into our minds the other meanings.

 

Its a somewhat subtle distinction that can be important.

 

Peace

[ganjaboy]

It has been my experience that the "breaking down" produced by jing conservation is that of ego. Jing is not a physical substance, and those who claim that jing=semen are mistaken. It is a certain consciousness, a fire in the eyes, steady, unvarying willpower, strong as an ox. It may seem trivial, but it has become clear to me that masturbation literally robs the soul of life, determination, and willpower, especially and perhaps exclusively for men. My doing so in puberty was literally admitting defeat before the battle had begun. It also predisposed me to inflated ego, yet sensitivity, as well as selfishness and inability to step outside myself. It is now clear to me that men who built muscle, etc. in effort to establish masculinity have the wrong idea; pure masculinity or the yang force is more so the desire and feel for necessity in strength of will and character.

 

It has been over a month since I have last jerked off and the psychological transformation in that time has been profound. I am convinced that the presence of semen in the body literally affects the chemistry of the brain. The realizations that I have come to have at times been so powerful and earth-shattering that they have produced anxiety for me. I have been using marijuana just to calm myself down lol.

 

Though I have been a boy in soul, I fear no more because I know that if I continue these practices, the man that I wish to be shall emerge on his own.

Edited September 18, 2013 by dhiggs

[Uroboros]

why do I like to argue about nothing or things of no importance? I do not know why haha. The words may be different but the meaning of them are different in my mind. If I showed it in pictures, perhaps one would understand. Thus I should not criticize your meaning as I wouldn't criticize my meaning.

 

 

 

 

The wisdom one has is so deep. So don't freak out. Funny that you're smoking pot. Normally, smoking pot makes some one very horny. That's why it is avoided, same with alcohol.

 

I was not criticizing you, Malikshreds! Just pointing towards how words and meanings combine to create "things" that may not be apparent.

 

If you know what they mean to you, thats all that matters!

 

Peace.

[Uroboros]

Haha who are you criticizing? Don't worry.

I was merely reflecting on my actions and thoughts and do not wish to worry you. Otherwise, I am tongue tied in what to say. hahaha

 

Who?! I dunno. The cosmic, wonderous, mysterious who, indeed! haha.

 

Okie! I wanted you to know I was not jabbing at ya, just adding a point of view. Tongue tied?! ......make a scarf with your tied tongue!

[RiverSnake]

Read the Sutra in 42 Sections.

http://www.cttbusa.org/42sections/42sec_contents.asp

 

In order for one to cultivate the Way, one have to let go of sexual desire.

I find it a bit humorous that you posted a link to a sutra. One should understand that sutras, mantras, hymns, prayers.....etc....these are all WORDS. Words have power....a lot of power.....the words that we speak vibrate in a certain way and are a reflection of a certain level of consciousness (atleast IME).....this is what I was pointing at with my initial post...the language and words we use often orchestrates a certain state of consciousness.

 

When divisive words such as "destroy" are used they naturally set up a certain state of conflict that may or may not have been present to begin with. In my understanding people repeat certain mantras because they vibrate on a certain level that uplifts consciousness.....you are disminished or uplifted by the words you speak, the thoughts you think....and the feelings you emote. I did not mean for this to be a big discussion, were all free men and can write and say whatever we want, I just hope I made my point as clearly as possible so there is no confusion in my original intent. Linguistics is an interesting topic.

 

My 2 cents, Peace

[ganjaboy]

off the topic at hand, but i am a musician and artist in addition to my spiritual practices. i recently played music with a friend, and transmuted my jing to increase the energy and feeling that i was using to play. i felt that this energy was so strong and so thick that it was almost tangible.

 

now i am not superstitious, but i had recorded the session, and when i played it back i noticed a low-frequency, electromagnetic hum that had not been present before...and as my enthusiasm died down the hum faded. is it possible that the energies used by the brain and heart have electrical presence in the air?

[eye_of_the_storm]

I find a diet of fresh fruit and vegetables helps significantly in such practices/ overall well being / clarity / harmony

A more subtle energy

I think diet is at least 75% of the journey

Be Light

Edited September 21, 2013 by White Wolf Running On Air

[mjjbecker]

I find a diet of fresh fruit and vegetables helps significantly in such practices/ overall well being / clarity / harmony

 

A more subtle energy

 

I think diet is at least 75% of the journey

 

Be Light

 

 

 

 

Fasting too.

[ganjaboy]

I will admit that diet is important. I notice that I tend to increasingly gravitate toward food that comes from the east, such as nuts, seeds, fruit, and vegetables. I don't eat grains but I do eat meat on occasion. Diet affects the mood as well.

 

As far as the cultivated jing, I still experience the occasional nocturnal emission, but I do not consider it a release of jing because it is not a voluntary act, i.e. a violation of willpower. I have no desire for porn or hookups, and ignore the advances of girls who bat their eyes at me just for a one-night stand. This is because i understand that jing is a precious substance, which I intend to sublimate into my creative pursuits. When the jing is conserved, I am as strong as an ox in terms of willpower; God help anyone who stands in my way. That will leave room for actual loving in a relationship, which should not be oriented sexually around the destruction of jing. When I do find a partner I would like to practice Tantra which cultivates energy rather than expend it. Can anyone give me any resources? Thanks

Edited September 22, 2013 by dhiggs

[KenBrace]

Very interesting! How long do you plan on going?

[ganjaboy]

I plan on going until I have embodied the vision of the type of man I wish to be in life. Cultivation is the utmost form of living naturally; when you cultivate you feel the imperative need to be strong, but not in the muscle-building or fitness-freak phenomenon of Western culture. Strong is of character. Cultivation also makes it very, very clear that we are in essence spiritual beings, that what is truly necessary is love, and how much of all else that causes suffering is self-inflicted; merely greed, laziness, or ignorance. I wish to be one who is strong and of utmost character, yet who is sensitive. I wish to also practice cultivation until I feel that I have used my energies to the best of their potential creatively, and make my mark on the world. At the time that I develop a relationship, in perhaps 10 years, sex will truly be able to be about mutual love instead of the evil destruction of essence and willpower that has predominated Western view, and will be a continued form of energy cultivation for me. Bless all who have helped in this thread thus far.

dhiggs

Edited September 22, 2013 by dhiggs

[niveQ]

It is very good to hear your revelations. I am thankful for all of your stories and information shared in this thread.

 

 

One worry that I have is that retaining semen will damage my prostate gland. Is this a legitimate worry? Sometimes it feels as if I feel a pleasure that could make me burst if I took advantage of it, just by sitting on a hard surface.

[voidisyinyang]

Transform by ionization purification burning

 

Transform by ionization purification burning

[niveQ]

Transform by ionization purification burningTransform by ionization purification burning

 

How does one do this?

[joeblast]

"mind celibacy and stilling the heartmind"

 

drew's said that one a million times.

 

still the heartmind through proper breath mechanics and focusing the awareness, staying in the present.

 

no need to worry about prostate issues when lustful thought is restrained and the area given mild exercise with correct breath mechanics.

[RiverSnake]

"mind celibacy and stilling the heartmind"

 

drew's said that one a million times.

 

still the heartmind through proper breath mechanics and focusing the awareness, staying in the present.

 

no need to worry about prostate issues when lustful thought is restrained and the area given mild exercise with correct breath mechanics.

+1

[eye_of_the_storm]

I think you may find the physical side follows

+ that physical strength can translate to spiritual strength...

people usually neglect one or the other.

[ganjaboy]

It has now been 42 days since the beginning of my voluntary celibacy, and in that time I have only spilled the seed once involuntarily, and this was due to a demon in a dream. I have since minimized this by adjusting diet and meditating before bed.

 

i don't know whether to go for permanent conservation of jing or just set myself a period such as 5 yrs.

 

i kid you not, but my body has literally changed in this period. my eyes are darker, more full of life magic. my voice has deepened, and others are more aware of me and my energy.

During the day however I still struggle with keeping some of the energies at bay. Occasionally when I am in the presence of a physically desirable female I feel a slightly pleasurable, warm feeling that originates in the kundalini gland and percolates up the spine until i can literally feel it entering my brain....when this happens, it feels like fireworks are occurring in my brain and I often get a headache. i keep advil on hand, lol.

should i feel bad about these feelings? my understanding is that these feelings and desires are natural, but the ultimate goal is to completely redirect the energies into the highest form of life pursuit.

One thought does occur to me - at some point in my life, i would like to enter into a serious, lasting intimate relationship with a woman. How could i practice a form of sexuality which cultivates, rather than destroys this energy, without seeming to be a deviant or prude? the type of sexuality i seem to be able to experience doesn't even require contact, i feel that in such a setting, i could just be in the presence of the body and soul of another i love and soak up the energy itself. is this unnatural or strange?

[liminal_luke]

the type of sexuality i seem to be able to experience doesn't even require contact, i feel that in such a setting, i could just be in the presence of the body and soul of another i love and soak up the energy itself. is this unnatural or strange?

 

sounds pretty nice to me

 

Liminal

[ganjaboy]

minor essay below...please excuse misspelling....up all night + a fifth of scotch have done their job...hehehe

Don't attach good or bad to the feelings. They're feelings man. The reason you have such a reaction is because subtle forms of sexual desire are still there. Seeing the last paragraph it seems that you don't want to let go of sexual desire completely as you want an intimate relationship.

 

If you want a lasting relationship with a women, find that one woman who cultivates just like you. Also like I said above, find a teacher who teaches how to cultivate sexual practices. Pick up sexual meditation by Bruce Frantzis.

Well, that's part of what I struggle with. Should I want to compleely let go of (evil) sexual desire of this form, and should I make this detachment a priority? As I understand it that is a quality of total enlightenment.

 

I do think it is possible to transmute the desire of sex into pure energy. So far I do this through my music. If this earthly desire of sex is still there though it can lead to unhappiness.

 

The thing is though, at just 19 yrs old, I was already at the age where just physical orgasm was becoming meaningless for me. orgasm itself is very overrated, especially for men, because most don't feel as much of a heart orgasm going on simultaneously. Guys who just want go out and lose their essence are still trapped by the instinctual limitations of being a man. I felt more pleasure and one-ness in feeling, retaining, as well as sublimating the energy

 

also once u get bored with masturbation you just start looking for other petty ways to spoil yourself, which leads to a crappy, self-indulgent lifestyle.

 

there is a mild physical pleasure to arousal, but I don't seek release through sexuality in any means. I like it because it lets you feel rooted to humanity and one of the essences of life. I get this just by being around women, and occasionally men. It makes me feel like an "energy-vampire". Is this a perversion? am i really taking anything from anyone by capturing the vibrations they are putting out, intentionally or unintentionally? i could feel this magic as equally from sitting across the room from a naked woman than I could passionately making love to her. To some extent i feel that "making love' in western society can be the opposite than that.....if men just seek physical release then they are allowing there spiritual batteries to be drained rather than recharged.

 

occasionally, as i said, i am male, so of course i still struggle with some of the basic desire for physical pleasures. i kinda hate myself for it when it happens, but i think of it as Ram Dass said....we all have selves, and there is one "me" who watches all the other "me's". he said the "selves" were neither good or bad as long as the true self remains in the drivers' seat. as long as i can think, "ah, there's the horny-guy-who-just-wants-to-screw-some-girl-off-the-street"-self, i think i can be okay.

 

i particularly like this explanation by ram dass because it helped me realizing that "growing up" is really an illusion. adults have plenty of inner children and moments when they feel, and sometimes act like children. the only difference is that adults hide it better.

 

comments? conclusions?

Edited September 29, 2013 by dhiggs

[ganjaboy]

Another question. Once I have reached say 100 days, if I feel I have reached a stable state of life, would it be objectionable to allow myself the physical pleasure of a release of jing/essence, and give the energy up to the Tao? or does even one instance violate the lifestyle/mindset and non-physical sublimation of jing which I have intended to transition to. I don't necessary think that that one instance would undo all of this. If I did so i would at the very least attempt to find a partner (not just some horny-chick-succubi), a young woman with whom i could share company. it is a giant step up from self-pleasure. Thoughts? It is extremely hard to even begin to think about the old path I do not wish to return to, and I think it would come down to whether I trusted myself and my discipline. Then again, i am young, maybe i am thinking too hard and just need to enjoy life every once in a blue moon for a change...haha