...

[ganjaboy]

I meditate on all of these energies a lot. To some extent I have witnessed great benefit, the retention and cultivation of jing opens the heart chambers in ways formerly lost to me.

 

on the other hand, I am a young, vital male in his prime (20), and I feel that to completely deprive myself of the company of a lady is almost self-punishing. I do not know if it is valid that an experience at my age will completely ruin my life or vital energies, especially if i can find one with similar goals and practice cultivation, rather than squandering, of the energies the experience creates.

 

the fact of the matter is that experience will help bring me into the real world. i am not saying it will automatically give me self-confidence, but i am curious in at the very least experimenting and affirming myself as a spiritual and sexual being.

 

all of this causes many feelings in me, including doubt and sometimes guilt. is it all natural? am i a bad person?

 

the desire has to come from the heart-chamber....not from the destructive or evil force.

 

peace and love

Edited October 16, 2013 by dhiggs

[ganjaboy]

Well sexual desire is sexual desire. No matter where it comes from. Which begs the question, where does it come from?

 

Honestly, I met many virgins who are like "I need to experience sex." Then they're disappointed when they have it Like someone said above, if you have no sexual experience, it will depend on your karma rather you'll do well with cultivating sexual methods. Not all people have the past actions of knowing how to do it intuitively. It's a different ball game when it comes to having sex.

 

Honestly, the fact that you're still worrying about seeking a future sexual relationship shows that you haven't truly gotten rid of sexual thoughts. Slow down mate and enjoy the moments you have. Don't be so impatient with yourself. It's like how I used to always worry about getting married. Once I put the thought down, it didn't matter rather I got married or not in the future.

 

You haven't even finished college yet haha

Its not exactly that I need to experience SEX. I need, at the least, validation of myself as a sexual and spiritual being. We all possess this duality and to ignore it is to ignore our fundamental status as humans. I have a difficult time purging myself of this desire and I don't know that it is entirely natural to do so.

[Kasuku]

you have to ask your self why you want to practice? if its not to reach god and be one with the dao you'll fall short and yinshen earthly mind will over power

[Kadesdes]

i have two conflicting notions here.

 

on one hand, the longer i conserve jing, the less desire i have for physical release. i am falling in love with the energy and the glowing feeling of fullness itself. i feel that i could be with a partner and bask in the energy, i.e. Tantra, without having to ravish her like a wild animal just to release the essence.

 

but yet, there are times when i experience overpowering sexual desire, unspecific to a particular woman, with the exception of her whose body i find appealing.

 

what can i do about this??? two months since release of jing, and i am going crazy with the denial/deprivation of all physical pleasure, yet i do not wish to be a heartless soulless creature. how can i find a middle path that balances physical pleasure with spiritual fulfillment???? i am desperate for answers!

 

it is as if this jing is the most powerful substance...yet...one little squirt and its all over...

 

You do not need to overthink it: If you get overpowering sexual desire just observe it, acknowledge that it is there, there nothing intently wrong with this, only relative to your goals and aspirations and how you think about the matter.

 

Once you accept that those feelings are there either continue powering on with your practice or allow yourself to experience sex with someone else, even if they are not you "soul mate" you can still share sex with them with an attitude of love - just treat them as you would want to be treated with respect etc.

 

We are not yet super immortal beings we are in transition and thus we sometimes are haunted by the conflicts of our dual nature and thus the animal aspect of ourselves can still be treated kindly and allowed to dissolve gently. If you decide or end up indulging in this part of yourself it does not necessarily make you soulless creature. I personally do not think what one does is what decides whether it is virtuous or not but rather how and why it was done and with what attitude and how it "flows" with the energy of the moment.

Edited October 17, 2013 by Kadesdes

[hagar]

Cultivating Jing in any form is dependent on a strong foundation in cultivating Shen, and usually with the assistance of a teacher.

 

If you start working with Jing, the only thing you do is expanding and increasing what is allready there, both advantageous and detrimental to your path.

 

Never forget that you practice to live a full life, and stop thinking you can plan so long a head. If you fail, you will lose your way. Instead, do the practice that is independent on failure and success. This also a way to integrate practice in your life. The first instance life challenges you, and you are allready challenged by depriving yourself of basic aspects of your self, then you might end up in a great deal of trouble. If you think you get anywhere by controlling anything you will fail.

 

I know, and I learned the hard way. Its possible to not learn through failure.

h

[Kadesdes]

Cultivating Jing in any form is dependent on a strong foundation in cultivating Shen, and usually with the assistance of a teacher.

 

If you start working with Jing, the only thing you do is expanding and increasing what is allready there, both advantageous and detrimental to your path.

 

Never forget that you practice to live a full life, and stop thinking you can plan so long a head. If you fail, you will lose your way. Instead, do the practice that is independent on failure and success. This also a way to integrate practice in your life. The first instance life challenges you, and you are allready challenged by depriving yourself of basic aspects of your self, then you might end up in a great deal of trouble. If you think you get anywhere by controlling anything you will fail.

 

I know, and I learned the hard way. Its possible to not learn through failure.

h

 

Can I ask what your experiences have been when you say "I learned the hard way"?

 

Kadesdes

[hagar]

Can I ask what your experiences have been when you say "I learned the hard way"?

 

Kadesdes

 

Primarily focusing too much on chi and Jing as something to be saved and contained created a very unhealthy and dualistic perspective both on my practice, my self-perception and my relationships towards others and society. Came nothing good from it. It also gave me quite a few issues energetically and physically.

 

The ironic thing was that my teacher did not focus on retention nor "heated" jing practice at all. It was only I who became smitten by this notion of retention. I addition, the whole idea (it is an idea) that chi is something to save and hoard is very neurotic indeed.

Only when I realized that chi cannot be owned, nor saved, did I finally let go of this stupidity.

 

Later I realized that we are not containers of energy at all. The body is not the body, and we are more like conductors, or maybe even more like constellations, energetically speaking... From then, the rabbit hole really has not stopped going.

 

interestingly; all my "personal" ambition in qigong was actually what created problems. The only way to not get into trouble is do your practice for all, for the universe, wanting nothing. This means completely accepting how faulty and neurotic your personal self is, and how this self is constantly trying to hijack everything.

[RiverSnake]

Primarily focusing too much on chi and Jing as something to be saved and contained created a very unhealthy and dualistic perspective both on my practice, my self-perception and my relationships towards others and society. Came nothing good from it. It also gave me quite a few issues energetically and physically.

 

The ironic thing was that my teacher did not focus on retention nor "heated" jing practice at all. It was only I who became smitten by this notion of retention. I addition, the whole idea (it is an idea) that chi is something to save and hoard is very neurotic indeed.

Only when I realized that chi cannot be owned, nor saved, did I finally let go of this stupidity.

 

Later I realized that we are not containers of energy at all. The body is not the body, and we are more like conductors, or maybe even more like constellations, energetically speaking... From then, the rabbit hole really has not stopped going.

 

interestingly; all my "personal" ambition in qigong was actually what created problems. The only way to not get into trouble is do your practice for all, for the universe, wanting nothing. This means completely accepting how faulty and neurotic your personal self is, and how this self is constantly trying to hijack everything.

 

An interesting perspective: http://thetaobums.com/topic/16419-shamanism-use-and-misuse-of-power/

 

 

[Jetsun]

Its not exactly that I need to experience SEX. I need, at the least, validation of myself as a sexual and spiritual being. We all possess this duality and to ignore it is to ignore our fundamental status as humans. I have a difficult time purging myself of this desire and I don't know that it is entirely natural to do so.

 

It's not natural or even possible to purge yourself of that desire, unless you become a eunuch

[Ish]

Yeah, it's not about purging - but transforming.

 

Diet, good habits and meditation can help the process significantly.

[traveler]

Consider the words of Osho:

 

The basic natural possibility of this [muladhara] chakra is the sex urge of the physical body. The very first question that arises in the mind of the seeker is what to do in regard to this central principle. Now there is another possibility of this chakra, and that is brahmacharya, celibacy, which is attainable through meditation. Sex is the natural possibility and brahmacharya is its transformation. The more the mind is focused upon and gripped by sexual desire, the more difficult it will be to reach its ultimate potential of brahmacharya. ... On the one hand there is a need; on the other hand there is a suppression which causes the meditator to fight the sex urge. Suppression is an obstacle on the path of meditation. This is the obstacle of the first chakra. Transformation cannot come about with suppression. (Osho)

 

Suppression is not going to work. Sublimation works to become celibate if you are evolved to the point where this will work, not before. Celibacy is a natural shift without effort once the vital energy is mature, once the earthly heart has died and the heavenly heart is born. Sex combined with sublimation without ejaculation is a good in between step because it is a healing mechanism and will lead you to natural brahmacharya in time. Ejaculation has its own place as a tool to transform your consciousness. Don't underestimate its spiritual powers. Everything has its place.

 

Kadesdes said, "The animal aspect of ourselves can still be treated kindly and allowed to dissolve gently." Eventually, your shen will awaken in a spectacular way and then there will be no tuning back. The Shen will lead you unerringly. Brahmancharya will follow. You will know when this stage is reached for you will not find this difficult in the least bit. In Taoist terms, your vitality must be mature which is indicated by your sex organ shirking and retracting.

 

I agree with everything that has been posted here. Dhigg, if you are determined to follow this goal to the 1000th day, then mental celibacy is necessary for your sanity. Your perception is right on about feeling more power within after attempted celibacy; this is a power that no other kind of sublimation can offer. On a physical level, the attractiveness you have observed is due to your higher testosterone levels. Only a guess. If your goal after the 1000 days is to attract a mate that will work with your practice, then this higher jing, or hormones, or whatever you want to call it will attract her to you ... with the appropriate affirmation.

 

I will remind you of a paragraph in Taoist Yoga that will work the miracle over your mental arousal.

 

Old people who are weak should avail themselves of the arousal of vitality to act immediately even before turning away their perverse thoughts. They should concentrate on the mortal gate (at the root of the penis) and breathe in to lift (the vital force there) up to (the lower tan t'ien cavity which is) 1-3 inches under the navel, pause a little before concentrating on the chiang kung centre (or the solar plexus) and then breathe out to lower the vital force there to the cavity of vitality (under the navel). From there positive vitality will spread to all parts of the body, killing an sexual desires. This exercise is to be repeated until the genital organ shrinks. If they so train how can there be desire for sexual intercourse? (Taoist Yoga, ch10, by Charles Luk)

 

Now, with a tool like this, you have a choice every time you feel aroused: you can give in and enjoy this natural sensation or you can perform this simple breath work and observe your arousal fade away. There are other tools which are even more potent.

 

One perspective is that you never want your sex drive to dry up. You always want your sex energy to ask to be sublimated.

 

Please understand that in order to perform rite number six [a tool for sublimation specifically for the celibate], it is absolutely necessary that an individual have an active sexual urge. He or she could not possibly transmute reproductive energy if there were little or nothing to transmute. It is absolutely impossible for a person who has lost sexual urge to perform this rite. ... Instead, such an individual, regardless of age, should first practice the other five rites [a form of yoga] until they regain a normal sexual urge. When this is achieved, he or she may then go into the business of being a superman or superwoman.

 

Also, an individual should not attempt rite number six unless he or she is genuinely motivated to do so. If an individual feels incomplete in terms of sexual expression, and must struggle to overcome its attraction, then that individual is not truly capable of transmuting reproductive energy and directing it upward. Instead, energy will be misdirected into struggle and inner conflict. the sixth rite is only for those who feel sexually complete, and who have a real desire to move on to different goals. (The Eye of Revelation, by by Peter Kelder )

 

Then after having made the choice to sublimate and feeling this inner power fill you in place of the arousal, you can smile because you will have learned a secret: This is a VERY sexually fulfilling state of mind, just as much as any other form of sex. Like all other stages of sublimation, it is only a stage, relating to the Brahma Body or 6th Body. There is nothing ignoble or lacking in the other stages of sexuality. What I am talking about is the possibility of having sex though each of your chakra levels. Each experience is beyond wonderful. Every stage, including the first. Here is a rather long quote, I hope you enjoy it and also get what he is saying: being whole is not necessarily related to celibacy.

 

God: No real master will ever say that sexual celibacy is the path to mastery. ...

 

One does not engage in sex because one realizes one’s responsibility to the human race to procreate. One engages in sex because it is the natural thing to do. It is built into the genes. You obey a biological imperative. ...

 

The biological imperative is not to guarantee the survival of the species, but to experience the Oneness which is the true nature of your being. ...

 

The biological imperative is not to create more life, but to experience more life—and to experience that life as it really is: a manifestation of Oneness. That is why You will never stop people from having sex, even though they have long ago stopped having children. ...

 

This gets us back to the subject of chakras, or energy centers. I said earlier that “the higher you raise the energy of life through your physical being, the more elevated will be your consciousness.

 

Neale: Yes! And that seems to say “no sex.

 

God: No, it does not. Not when you understand it. Let Me go back to your previous comment and make something clear: There is nothing ignoble, or unholy, about having sex. You have got to get that idea out of your mind, and out of your culture.

 

There is nothing base, or gross, or “less than dignified” (much less sanctified), about a passionate, desire-filled sexual experience. Physical urges are not manifestations of “animalistic behavior.” Those physical urges were built into the system - by Me. Who do you suppose created it that way? Yet physical urges are but one ingredient in a complex mixture of responses that you all have to each other. Remember, you are a three-part being, with seven chakra centers. When you respond to one another from all three parts, and all seven centers, at the same ti me.

 

If you are having sex from only your lower chakra center, you are operating from the root chakra alone, and missing by far the most glorious part of the experience. Yet if you are being loving with another person and coming from all seven energy centers while you are being that, now you are having a peak experience. How can this not be holy? ...

 

And so the invitation to raise the life energy through your physical being to the top chakra was never meant to be a suggestion or a demand that you disconnect from the bottom. If you have raised the energy to your heart chakra, or even to your crown chakra, that doesn’t mean it cannot be in your root chakra as well. Indeed, if it is not, you are disconnected. When you have raised the life energy to your higher centers, you may or may not choose to have what you would call a sexual experience with another. But if you do not, it will not be because to do so would be to violate some cosmic law on holiness. Nor will it make you somehow more “elevated.” And if you do choose to be sexual with another, it will not “lower” you to a root-chakra-only level - unless you do the opposite of disconnecting at the bottom, and disconnect from the top. So here is the invitation - not an admonition, but an invitation: Raise your energy, your life force, to the highest level possible in every moment, and you will be elevated. This has nothing to do with having sex or not having sex. It has to do with raising your consciousness no matter what you are doing. (Conversations with God, bk3, by Neale Walsch)

Edited October 17, 2013 by traveler

[ganjaboy]

Consider the words of Osho:

 

 

Suppression is not going to work. Sublimation works to become celibate if you are evolved to the point where this will work, not before. Celibacy is a natural shift without effort once the vital energy is mature, once the earthly heart has died and the heavenly heart is born. Sex combined with sublimation without ejaculation is a good in between step because it is a healing mechanism and will lead you to natural brahmacharya in time. Ejaculation has its own place as a tool to transform your consciousness. Don't underestimate its spiritual powers. Everything has its place.

 

Kadesdes said, "The animal aspect of ourselves can still be treated kindly and allowed to dissolve gently." Eventually, your shen will awaken in a spectacular way and then there will be no tuning back. The Shen will lead you unerringly. Brahmancharya will follow. You will know when this stage is reached for you will not find this difficult in the least bit. In Taoist terms, your vitality must be mature which is indicated by your sex organ shirking and retracting.

 

I agree with everything that has been posted here. Dhigg, if you are determined to follow this goal to the 1000th day, then mental celibacy is necessary for your sanity. Your perception is right on about feeling more power within after attempted celibacy; this is a power that no other kind of sublimation can offer. On a physical level, the attractiveness you have observed is due to your higher testosterone levels. Only a guess. If your goal after the 1000 days is to attract a mate that will work with your practice, then this higher jing, or hormones, or whatever you want to call it will attract her to you ... with the appropriate affirmation.

 

I will remind you of a paragraph in Taoist Yoga that will work the miracle over your mental arousal.

 

 

Now, with a tool like this, you have a choice every time you feel aroused: you can give in and enjoy this natural sensation or you can perform this simple breath work and observe your arousal fade away. There are other tools which are even more potent.

 

One perspective is that you never want your sex drive to dry up. You always want your sex energy to ask to be sublimated.

 

 

Then after having made the choice to sublimate and feeling this inner power fill you in place of the arousal, you can smile because you will have learned a secret: This is a VERY sexually fulfilling state of mind, just as much as any other form of sex. Like all other stages of sublimation, it is only a stage, relating to the Brahma Body or 6th Body. There is nothing ignoble or lacking in the other stages of sexuality. What I am talking about is the possibility of having sex though each of your chakra levels. Each experience is beyond wonderful. Every stage, including the first. Here is a rather long quote, I hope you enjoy it and also get what he is saying: being whole is not necessarily related to celibacy.

thanks, this is by far the best response I have gotten in this thread. I needed to know that my animalistic, basic urges were not ones to experience guilt or self-hatred about, because others I would constantly hate myself for having such desire and would wish to suppress it.

 

i have noticed that celibacy allows the heart to open and for the subtle emotions from the heart chakra to fill the mind again, which is impossible when the powerful, hot jing-force has been drained completely. in the past whenever the jing has been drained i feel purposeless, lifeless, and often hate myself and are unkind to others. i believe that this destruction can be a root of unhappiness.

 

You were exactly right - i have learned to enjoy the feeling of fullness. when i receive arousal from women, i am able to sit back and bask in the energy and this internal feeling, a validation of myself as a spiritual and highly sexual being. it is good for confidence.

 

the jing-urge, however, is more biological, and there are also times when i would rather have a more physical encounter rather than just observation. i feel that if i was to cultivate with my female partner / shakti, i could have two options: 1) practice a more reserved, gentle form of intercourse, almost spiritual rather than physical at all. this is where i allow my heart and soul to be filled with the magic of being with another who has opened themselves to me. this is a very yin state. 2) have more physical (sexual) relations, which is more similar to the jing or biological drive in manner. this is more yang state.

 

i am not a sexually obsessed being, please do not get me wrong, i am just a young man with high jing, yet i am not like the average guy, i recognize its incredibly potent power as a life force. when jing is conserved, i can dedicate much more passion and intensity to my craft, which is music. this is a yin practice - transformation of energy. at the same time, as a male species who cannot deny physically sexual relations, perhaps i should not try to fight the urge to occasionally have a more overtly sexual experience and surrender some of this energy to the Tao. in those instances i just have good-old fashioned sex and ejaculate, i will just say to the Tao "here, have one on me."

 

the important thing is that there is ALWAYS JING in the bank, and that you are never drained completely. i am a young man, so my hormones are probably at peak levels. by conserving now, i am ensuring that i will always have jing stored.

 

the important thing is that when i complete the transformation period of my 1000 days, when i do find a cultivation partner, whether temporary or a soul-mate, she understands where i am coming from and can cater to either practice (that is, the yin state, or the yang state). most average females will not understand if a man does not want to ejaculate, and may even subconsciously attempt to allows drain them of this force on each sexual encounter. if my partner is of like mind, however, she can be sensitive to this, and I to her, and the experience can be about loving, energy, and cultivation. love does not have to make war - and i feel that making love and always losing essence creates war.

Edited October 17, 2013 by dhiggs

[traveler]

dhiggs: I needed to know that my animalistic, basic urges were not ones to experience guilt or self-hatred about, because others I would constantly hate myself for having such desire and would wish to suppress it.

 

The sex centre has to be relieved of the burden of guilt, condemnation. You have to start relearning about it; only then can the damaged sex centre function in a healthy way. You have to start relearning to enjoy it - without any guilt. (Osho)

 

dhiggs: i have noticed that celibacy allows the heart to open and for the subtle emotions from the heart chakra to fill the mind again, which is impossible when the powerful, hot jing-force has been drained completely. in the past whenever the jing has been drained i feel purposeless, lifeless, and often hate myself and are unkind to others. i believe that this destruction can be a root of unhappiness.

 

Here is an alternate way of looking at this: The shift into negative emotions you described can be mitigated by flavoring the sex energy with love. Hug your lover afterwards for at least a half hour and you will not experience negative emotions or a drop in alertness even. Why? Just as the male gives his essence to the female, the female gifts her essence to the male. It is an exchange which takes place while hugging in stillness.

 

Von Urban also describes the sexual practices of some Melanesian societies:

 

Foreplay with kissing and caressing takes at least half an hour, but a man never touches the clitoris. Then they connect with their sexual organs and lie motionless together for at least another half hour before starting movements, and after orgasm they remain sexually connected for a long time. On nights when they did not have sex they slept skin to skin but without any kissing or caressing. (Walter Last)

 

Sit in meditation and hold your hands over your heart center after sex. If you are celibate, perform some form of sublimation and end by breathing deeply with your hands over your heart. Sex energy amplifies whatever is going on within. If you are angry, the increase in sex energy will amplify your anger. Holding the heart converts this energy to love and that is what is amplified. Hugging your lover after sex is a strong form of holding your heart.

 

By all means cultivate your Shakti connection. For me, this included a very life-like being climbing into bed with me. This sex felt physical in every way.

 

Dissolving your yin energy into the source of universal life, attracting the yang energy from that same source, you leave behind individuality and your life becomes pure nature. Free of ego, living naturally, working virtuously, you become filled with inexhaustible vitality and are liberated forever from the cycle of death and rebirth. (Hua Hu Ching, ch70, by Lao Tzu)

 

The Chymical Marriage needs to two to tango. You need a god and a goddess. The path to wholeness includes finding the parts first.

 

I am a musician. We have something in common, it seems. I play the harp to signal the end of our meditation time for the local yoga group.

 

The most effective method is always that to which the student's natural energy most harmoniously responds. For one, celibacy and self-cultivation will be appropriate; for another, properly guided dual cultivation will derive the greatest benefit. A discerning teacher will determine the proper balance of practices for each individual. (Hua Hu Ching, ch71, by Lao Tzu)

 

This can be interpreted on many levels. Dual cultivation could be seen as intercourse in stillness such as Karezza or Yab Yum. This wakes the Heart Center, as you said. Self Cultivation could be seen as celibacy. Both are useful and have their place. Dual cultivation could also be seen as celibacy when your dual cultivation takes on a nonsexual character where you feel at One with everyone.

 

If you master the art of celibacy then you will not be bothered by waiting for your lover to be ready for your next sexual adventure. Or, you can abstain indefinitely; your choice. It's nice ti have a choice ... without your physical chemistry getting in the way.

 

I'll quote Eric Yudelove:

 

As the Taoists say, "You either control your sex or you are controlled by sex." Men will find that Testicle Breathing tends to cool off an over-active sexual imagination. This helps you reign in the powerful Yang sex drive with peaceful, gentle and soothing Yin Sexual Energy. In time you gain the ability to detach from the powerful spell that sex weaves upon us. This doesn't mean that you will be less sexy (you will probably be more sexy), or that you will enjoy sex less (you will probably enjoy it more). It does mean you will waste less time and energy thinking about or fantasizing about sex. (100 Days, by Eric Yudelove)

Edited October 17, 2013 by traveler

[ganjaboy]

Here is an alternate way of looking at this: The shift into negative emotions you described can be mitigated by flavoring the sex energy with love. Hug your lover afterwards for at least a half hour and you will not experience negative emotions or a drop in alertness even. Why? Just as the male gives his essence to the female, the female gifts her essence to the male. It is an exchange which takes place while hugging in stillness.

 

 

Sit in meditation and hold your hands over your heart center after sex. If you are celibate, perform some form of sublimation and end by breathing deeply with your hands over your heart. Sex energy amplifies whatever is going on within. If you are angry, the increase in sex energy will amplify your anger. Holding the heart converts this energy to love and that is what is amplified. Hugging your lover after sex is a strong form of holding your heart.

 

By all means cultivate your Shakti connection. For me, this included a very life-like being climbing into bed with me. This sex felt physical in every way.

 

 

The Chymical Marriage needs to two to tango. You need a god and a goddess. The path to wholeness includes finding the parts first.

 

I am a musician. We have something in common, it seems. I play the harp to signal the end of our meditation time for the local yoga group.

 

 

This can be interpreted on many levels. Dual cultivation could be seen as intercourse in stillness such as Karezza or Yab Yum. This wakes the Heart Center, as you said. Self Cultivation could be seen as celibacy. Both are useful and have their place. Dual cultivation could also be seen as celibacy when your dual cultivation takes on a nonsexual character where you feel at One with everyone.

 

If you master the art of celibacy then you will not be bothered by waiting for your lover to be ready for your next sexual adventure. Or, you can abstain indefinitely; your choice. It's nice ti have a choice ... without your physical chemistry getting in the way.

 

I'll quote Eric Yudelove:

Thanks so much again for your insights. The bit near the end resonates strongly with me -- I should technically be able to live, function, and thrive without physical release of jing. On the occasions that I do, I can, as I said before, consider it an indulgence, and a "fun" little surrender of energy to Tao, Allah, God, or whatever deity/force you prefer lol. This way, in an eventual relationship, I will not be bothered in the least if my lover is just not feeling it that night, or prefers gentler sex, i.e. Karezza, Tantra. Ideally, she, my Shakti, would be the one who decides whether her heart desires physical relations. In this manner, I could be of loving and loyal service to her, from MY heart. In that instance, I will feel no guilt whatsoever in enjoyment.

 

60 days of complete celibacy, and I have by no means mastered the art internally, but I am getting close. I am learning to work with the feelings, recognize them, let them flow through me, and utilize the energy elsewhere. My nocturnal emissions have become almost nonexistent, the result of careful meditation and sleeping.

 

Long ago, I broke free of the juvenile mindset that sexuality means you are a man. If anything, it means you are a male. But essentially, little boys can still have sex just for pleasure. Being a man means loving and cherishing your partner, giving pleasure to him/her, and protecting him or her. There are guys out there who look and like, and who we would perceive as grown men who still act like little boys with regard to sexuality. If you look closely their lives are usually unfulfilled elsewhere.

 

It is my belief that my 1000 days will give me the opportunity to grow up into a man internally, though I definitely do not deny the presence of external development occurring simultaneously, and perhaps influenced by the internal hormones/chemistry. In 1000 days, I will be graduated or nearly graduated from college, and hopefully will have utilized my creative energies in alternate ways.

 

There is one addendum I will make, and I am hesitant to make it out of fear of hypocrisy claims. Nevertheless here, it is. If anything, I do believe in being complete as a person, and having a very real, full bank of life experiences to draw on. To be frank, after 1000 days, my jing will be extremely high, I will be in an extreme state of horniness, and it is likely that I will also be having women attracted to me as well. Now, I have not experienced sex period, and I believe that at the very least I should experience sex once before having a long-term partner. Would there be any harm in me, who will be a 22 yr old man, having disconnected, unfeeling intercourse? My take on it is, if I have never experienced sex without feeling, how can I ever appreciate sex with feeling? I do not wish to get in a long-term relationship for purely sexual reasons. I am not asking about sleeping with one girl, then another, then another. I am asking about just one -- partially for pleasure, partially to reward myself for my discipline (for nearly 3 years, lol), and partially to highlight the contrast between the "with and without" feeling I had described. I don't just plan on counting the days in the interim btw, I am going to get busy with the energy.

 

To make the music comparison again, I, as a musician, did not know how to play music with feeling without first having played it with none whatsoever.

 

My goal is to become a fully realized, and perhaps semi-enlightened being. If the above encounter would assist to furnish this endeavor, is there harm, as long as I treat my partner with respect? I feel this is an "end justifies the means" thing.

 

My alternative to the above proposal would be to remain resilient in celibacy, further channel the energies, to the point that I have completely subverted the need for physical sex, and to get into a relationship based purely on the yin/heart energy. However, I am not entirely convinced that this will be possible to do, as, mentioned above, it is a complete neglect of the basic nature of me as a human.

Edited October 18, 2013 by dhiggs

[Kadesdes]

 

If you get to 1000 days and become a semi - enlightened then I doubt by then you will want to reward yourself with or have huge sex urges because by then you would have become quite proficient at sublimation and transmutation that the energy doesn't build up enough to feel than uncontrollably horny. I think this question reflects more how you are feeling at this moment or at least part of you and having said that I would not think there is anything wrong with this if it is done with respect and consent from the other party.

Edited October 18, 2013 by Kadesdes

[ganjaboy]

If you get to 1000 days and become a semi - enlightened then I doubt by then you will want to reward yourself with or have huge sex urges because by then you would have become quite proficient at sublimation and transmutation that the energy doesn't build up enough to feel than uncontrollably horny. I think this question reflects more how you are feeling at this moment or at least part of you and having said that I would not think there is anything wrong with this if it is done with respect and consent from the other party.

Thanks. Granted, the last time I had uncontrolled, unfeeling release of jing-essence, there was no fulfillment to me except for the obvious fleeting physical one. I almost feel that the less essence is released and the closer to enlightenment you become, the more negatively powerful each surrender becomes, or at least in perceived feeling.

 

Let me put it this way - if I start to have physical lust, I can easily sublimate it if I go and channel that passion rooted in carnality into passion for my craft of music. In my view, it is a transformation and just a different use of the same vital energy, an essence of life and the state of humanity. I am getting better at this sublimation, which has allowed me to view actual reality, re-open the heart centers, and feel a stronger connection with Krishna (God).

 

The only reason I brought up this "sex with another person" business is because it is just something i feel that I should experience, for the aforementioned reasons.

 

 

This will not be about a relationship, this is about an experience. I will lose jing, but it i think that it is important I have at least one loss in this way to be able to realize the contrast. It's a "curiosity killed the cat" type thing that I don't know I can work around. Satisfaction in the divine, spiritual state is what I know will bring me back. I don't want to eventually, further down the road, get into a relationship with a woman thinking "Oh boy, I finally get to get it on!" I think that the relations-outside-of-marriage stigma from some large world religions have attached far too much negative emphasis on it. That said, cultivation with a meaningful partner is best.

 

I need to realize life is a river, not a mountain you climb up, reach the peak, and then fall back to earth.

Edited October 18, 2013 by dhiggs

[traveler]

If you want to silence your mental sexual chatter and remove the sensation of sexual arousal or the "horny" feeling, the following breath will accomplish this. I have included an explanation of all the parts as if the reader knows nothing about energy work and breath so that anyone reading this post will be able to do this breath.

The Pubic-Coccyx Breath

Full Abdominal Breathing

Stand erect and pretend there's a string attached to the top of your head pulling you upward as you breathe in, stretching your spine and elongating it. You may feel yourself getting taller.

Next, pretend that your lungs are in your belly, the area just below your bellybutton. Touch yourself there to let your mind know where this is. Imagine that there is a mouth right where the memory of your touch is lingering as you breathe in, and that the air is filling these belly lungs. Then relax as you exhale and let it flow back out of that belly-mouth. The only part of your body that should expand for this first step as you inhale is your belly - like a beach ball blowing up and then releasing air as you exhale. It's important to totally relax as you exhale.

The second step is to smile. Let's learn about smiles. They start in the eyes - actually, the outer creases of the eyes. Smile in just these creases, not the mouth, then the whole eyes. Make them twinkle with mirth. Now let that twinkle in your eyes spread to your mouth, causing a grin.

Touch your belly-mouth again as you smile like I just taught you, then swallow and follow your saliva down as if it is a ball of energy - all the way to your lower belly. I know you're thinking that the stomach is higher than that, but the energy of the saliva will move past the stomach all the way into the belly if you tell it to. Your belly may feel heavy as if something is growing inside you.

Let's put this together so far. Stretch your spine upward and inhale by breathing in so just your lower belly expands, then exhale while you smile into your eyes and mouth, remembering to relax as you let the energy fall into your lower belly. Swallowing helps you learn to do this.

Step three is to add the full abdominal breath. By expanding only your lower belly as you breathe, you are moving the organs down and out of the way, causing the lower part of your lungs to fill first. Now we are going to fill the rest of your lungs.

Breathe in as before, expanding just the belly, then when that feels fullish, expand the middle chest, and last of all, fill the upper chest with air. Your shoulders should rise slightly. That's it. Hold your breath. Can you possibly get any more air in those lungs of yours? I bet you can. That's it, gulp in some more air. At the end of the fullest inhale you can manage, "sniff" in three more short breaths. If you smile while inhaling, this opens up your nasal cavities allowing more air to enter your lungs. Also, a smile brightens your emotions.

It's time to exhale. Let it out slowly while doing that special smile and relaxing as you let the energy fall down to the belly. You should empty your lungs in reverse order of how you filled them - let the air out of the upper chest first, then the middle chest and last, empty the belly. You want the lungs to be as empty as possible before taking another breath. A good way to totally empty the lungs is to lean over and suck in your belly as if it's wrapped around the spinal column. Now that's empty! Another way to empty your lungs which is more convenient is to exhale completely, then "puff" some air out with pursed lips three times. Blow out like you're blowing through a straw with flat lips. This forces more air out. The puffing action comes from the diaphragm.

When you get the hang of this, exerting yourself to fill your lungs to over-flowing or completely emptying them will not be needed for general use in most alchemical formulas or in meditation. The reason is that you will have increased your capacity to hold air in your lungs and a normal breath will hold more air than your best efforts of breathing and exhaling deeply did in the beginning.

Emptying Your Lungs

Stand erect, feet shoulder's width apart and slowly let all of the air out of our lungs through your mouth, As you are exhaling, bend forward as far as possible, put your hands on your knees, and keep your knees slightly bent and relaxed. Compress your chest and push upward with your diaphragm and abdominal muscles to expel all the stale air from your lungs. Stand erect and pull your abdominal muscles back as if to pin your stomach to your backbone. Give three more puffs to get really empty lungs as explained above.

The Pubic Breath

If you lean backwards. arching your spine, you may notice that extending your belly as in a Full Abdominal Breath is not very practical. Because the skin of the belly is stretched taut, extending it will not feel natural. So, hold your breath instead and continue sucking in your abs as in the last step of Emptying Your Lungs explained above.

After you have emptied your lungs and are standing upright, pull your lower abs in to completely and fiercely compress these muscles BEFORE you lean backward. Try not to lean back too far. You may place your hands on your hips to support your back. This breath isn't, in my opinion, a case where you are trying to arch your spine to the max as in a stretching exercise. It is a Power Breath. Arch your spine just far enough to stretch your lower abs and aid your efforts to pull in the abdominal muscles, no more. If you are having trouble pulling these muscles in as you arch your spine, you are bending backward too far. Grip the ground with your feet and tense up a good deal of other muscles. If you focus on abdominal muscles compression, clawing the ground and the other muscle tension will take care of itself.

Just what muscles are you compressing? All of the abdominal muscles but the most vital area to compress is the lowest ones which attach to the pubic bone. Let's locate the pubic muscles.

Exhale and then crimp your pelvic floor, the PC muscles. What do you notice happening to your pubic muscles area? They flatten. It's a natural response; you won't be able to help yourself. Regularly preforming yoga poses will make this phenomena more pronounced. Crimping the PC muscles while sucking in your abs on an inhale will naturally draw the pubic area inward. This is part of the mechanics of the Reversed Breath.

Here's another way to locate the pubic muscles. Isolate the muscle that makes your penis twitch, just the penis. If you crimp the PC or just about any other muscle in the groin area your penis will contract as well. But, you can just contract the penis and not the other muscles. Feel the very lowest muscles of your abs contract as you twitch your penis. These are the pubic muscles I am wanting you to engage. Pull them in as hard as you can along with compressing the rest of the abdominal muscles and leaning backwards slightly.

Here are the steps for this Pubic Breath:

1) Stand erect and inhale as in a Full Abdominal Breath with shoulders rising slightly at the end of the inhale.

2) Exhale completely while leaning over and resting your hands on your knees. Stand up and give three more puffs to further empty your lungs. Pull in your abdominal muscles, especially your pubic muscles, compressing them most fiercely as if you are trying to press them against your spine. You are now holding your breath.

3) Lean back, arching your spine, but only enough to feel the abdominal muscles stretch, but not so far as to hinder your ability to compress those muscles. Continue to tighten your pubic muscles.

4) Don't breath in, but keep those lungs empty. Count to ten slowly.

5) Return to an upright position as you inhale. The exhale will be explained next.

Focus on the Heart Center

Sex energy when sublimated amplifies whatever is going on in your body at the time without judgment. If you are happy, sublimation will make you more happy; if you are angry, sublimation will make you even madder. To flavor the energy, you need only to pass it through one of the energy centers. The heart will take the sublimated sex energy and turn it into love energy. Instead of sublimation simply amplifying your current mood, it will transform your mood into love as it passes through the heart.

To direct the energy through the heart you can place your hands over the heart center. You can place your hands over the chest, palms pressed together and fingers extended. Or, you can cross your forearms over your Chest. I prefer to simply place my hands there with my palms facing inward.

The Coccyx Breath

First, let's find your coccyx. Place a finger above the anus and press upward while sliding the finger along the butt crack until you feel the end of a bone. That's your coccyx. Your sacrum is just above that and crimping your coccyx will naturally include this second group of vertebrae.

A natural pose for doing this breath is what I call the M-pose and it goes like this: Sitting on butt, knees bent, feet flat on ground, arms straight and supporting body behind with palms flat on the ground. Now raise your butt slightly off the ground. Body should look like an M from a side view.

Become aware of your coccyx and sacrum with your mind. Feel it fill with energy, with your awareness. Coccyx Breathing is Full Abdominal Breathing with a slight change:

1) Place your hands over your Heart Center.

2) Inhale from your belly except also allow the breath to fill the cavity around (behind) your coccyx, like filling a balloon. It may help to place an imaginary mouth on your coccyx. As you suck the imaginary air into this "mouth" on the inhale, you should get a sensation as if you were filling the area surrounding the coccyx with air. Also, the "mouth" should feel as if it is opening to gulp in the "air".

3) When you exhale, crimp the coccyx muscle. This pumps energy and spinal fluid up your spine into your head. You are closing the imaginary mouth. It's OK if the anus and PC muscles also crimp.

3) Repeat as needed.

At some point in your progress with sex energy work, your coccyx may fill with energy without you consciously telling it to. This is a sign that your body now understands that you want the sexual energy to flow backwards, not out the tip of your penis. The gates are clear, the energy blockages are gone. Be thankful when this happens. So, when your coccyx fills like a balloon, all on its own without consciously instigating a coccyx breath, during sex or other energy work, just finish the process by gently crimping your coccyx muscle on the exhale to pump the sex energy collected there up the spine and into the rest of the body.

Conclusion: The Pubic-Coccyx Breath

1) Stand erect with your hands at your side, and take a few Full Abdominal Breaths.

2) Do one really good Pubic Breath, I mean really empty your lungs by puffing out air repeatedly. At the end of this breath you should feel the coccyx filling involuntarily with energy which leads naturally into a Coccyx Breath.

3) Do a three Coccyx Breaths.

One Pubic-Coccyx Breath, if done with the proper intensity, is enough. Enough for what? This will sublimate sex energy very completely.

Edited November 9, 2013 by traveler

[Uroboros]

If you want to silence your mental sexual chatter and remove the sensation of sexual arousal or the "horny" feeling, the following breath will accomplish this. I have included an explanation of all the parts as if the reader knows nothing about energy work and breath so that anyone reading this post will be able to do this breath.

 

The Pubic-Coccyx Breath

 

Full Abdominal Breathing

 

Stand erect and pretend there's a string attached to the top of your head pulling you upward as you breathe in, stretching your spine and elongating it. You may feel yourself getting taller.

 

Next, pretend that your lungs are in your belly, the area just below your bellybutton. Touch yourself there to let your mind know where this is. Imagine that there is a mouth right where the memory of your touch is lingering as you breathe in, and that the air is filling these belly lungs. Then relax as you exhale and let it flow back out of that belly-mouth. The only part of your body that should expand for this first step as you inhale is your belly - like a beach ball blowing up and then releasing air as you exhale. It's important to totally relax as you exhale.

 

The second step is to smile. Let's learn about smiles. They start in the eyes - actually, the outer creases of the eyes. Smile in just these creases, not the mouth, then the whole eyes. Make them twinkle with mirth. Now let that twinkle in your eyes spread to your mouth, causing a grin.

 

Touch your belly-mouth again as you smile like I just taught you, then swallow and follow your saliva down as if it is a ball of energy - all the way to your lower belly. I know you're thinking that the stomach is higher than that, but the energy of the saliva will move past the stomach all the way into the belly if you tell it to. Your belly may feel heavy as if something is growing inside you.

 

Let's put this together so far. Stretch your spine upward and inhale by breathing in so just your lower belly expands, then exhale while you smile into your eyes and mouth, remembering to relax as you let the energy fall into your lower belly. Swallowing helps you learn to do this.

 

Step three is to add the full abdominal breath. By expanding only your lower belly as you breathe, you are moving the organs down and out of the way, causing the lower part of your lungs to fill first. Now we are going to fill the rest of your lungs.

 

Breathe in as before, expanding just the belly, then when that feels fullish, expand the middle chest, and last of all, fill the upper chest with air. Your shoulders should rise slightly. That's it. Hold your breath. Can you possibly get any more air in those lungs of yours? I bet you can. That's it, gulp in some more air. At the end of the fullest inhale you can manage, "sniff" in three more short breaths. If you smile while inhaling, this opens up your nasal cavities allowing more air to enter your lungs. Also, a smile brightens your emotions.

 

It's time to exhale. Let it out slowly while doing that special smile and relaxing as you let the energy fall down to the belly. You should empty your lungs in reverse order of how you filled them - let the air out of the upper chest first, then the middle chest and last, empty the belly. You want the lungs to be as empty as possible before taking another breath. A good way to totally empty the lungs is to lean over and suck in your belly as if it's wrapped around the spinal column. Now that's empty! Another way to empty your lungs which is more convenient is to exhale completely, then "puff" some air out with pursed lips three times. Blow out like you're blowing through a straw with flat lips. This forces more air out. The puffing action comes from the diaphragm.

 

When you get the hang of this, exerting yourself to fill your lungs to over-flowing or completely emptying them will not be needed for general use in most alchemical formulas or in meditation. The reason is that you will have increased your capacity to hold air in your lungs and a normal breath will hold more air than your best efforts of breathing and exhaling deeply did in the beginning.

 

Emptying Your Lungs

 

Stand erect, feet shoulder's width apart and slowly let all of the air out of our lungs through your mouth, As you are exhaling, bend forward as far as possible, put your hands on your knees, and keep your knees slightly bent and relaxed. Compress your chest and push upward with your diaphragm and abdominal muscles to expel all the stale air from your lungs. Stand erect and pull your abdominal muscles back as if to pin your stomach to your backbone. Give three more puffs to get really empty lungs as explained above.

 

The Pubic Breath

 

If you lean backwards. arching your spine, you may notice that extending your belly as in a Full Abdominal Breath is not very practical. Because the skin of the belly is stretched taut, extending it will not feel natural. So, hold your breath instead and continue sucking in your abs as in the last step of Emptying Your Lungs explained above.

 

After you have emptied your lungs and are standing upright, pull your lower abs in to completely and fiercely compress these muscles BEFORE you lean backward. Try not to lean back too far. This breath isn't, in my opinion, a case where you are trying to arch your spine to the max as in a stretching exercise. It is a Power Breath. Arch your spine just far enough to stretch your lower abs and aid your efforts to pull in the abdominal muscles, no more. If you are having trouble pulling these muscles in as you arch your spine, you are bending backward too far. Grip the ground with your feet and tense up a good deal of other muscles. If you focus on abdominal muscles compression, clawing the ground and the other muscle tension will take care of itself.

 

Just what muscles are you compressing? All of the abdominal muscles but the most vital area to compress is the lowest ones which attach to the pubic bone. Let's locate the pubic muscles.

 

Exhale and then crimp your pelvic floor, the PC muscles. What do you notice happening to your pubic muscles area? They flatten. It's a natural response; you won't be able to help yourself. Regularly preforming yoga poses will make this phenomena more pronounced. Crimping the PC muscles while sucking in your abs on an inhale will naturally draw the pubic area inward. This is part of the mechanics of the Reversed Breath.

 

Here's another way to locate the pubic muscles. Isolate the muscle that makes your penis twitch, just the penis. If you crimp the PC or just about any other muscle in the groin area your penis will contract as well. But, you can just contract the penis and not the other muscles. Feel the very lowest muscles of your abs contract as you twitch your penis. These are the pubic muscles I am wanting you to engage. Pull them in as hard as you can along with compressing the rest of the abdominal muscles and leaning backwards slightly.

 

Here are the steps for this Pubic Breath:

 

1) Stand erect and inhale as in a Full Abdominal Breath with shoulders rising slightly at the end of the inhale.

 

2) Exhale completely while leaning over and resting your hands on your knees. Stand up and give three more puffs to further empty your lungs. Pull in your abdominal muscles, especially your pubic muscles, compressing them most fiercely as if you are trying to press them against your spine. You are now holding your breath.

 

3) Lean back, arching your spine, but only enough to feel the abdominal muscles stretch, but not so far as to hinder your ability to compress those muscles. Continue to tighten your pubic muscles.

 

4) Don't breath in, but keep those lungs empty. Count to ten slowly.

 

5) Return to an upright position as you inhale. The exhale will be explained next.

 

Focus on the Heart Center

 

Sex energy when sublimated amplifies whatever is going on in your body at the time without judgment. If you are happy, sublimation will make you more happy; if you are angry, sublimation will make you even madder. To flavor the energy, you need only to pass it through one of the energy centers. The heart will take the sublimated sex energy and turn it into love energy. Instead of sublimation simply amplifying your current mood, it will transform your mood into love as it passes through the heart.

 

To direct the energy through the heart you can place your hands over the heart center. You can place your hands over the chest, palms pressed together and fingers extended. Or, you can cross your forearms over your Chest. I prefer to simply place my hands there with my palms facing inward.

 

The Coccyx Breath

 

First, let's find your coccyx. Place a finger above the anus and press upward while sliding the finger along the butt crack until you feel the end of a bone. That's your coccyx. Your sacrum is just above that and crimping your coccyx will naturally include this second group of vertebrae.

 

A natural pose for doing this breath is what I call the M-pose and it goes like this: Sitting on butt, knees bent, feet flat on ground, arms straight and supporting body behind with palms flat on the ground. Now raise your butt slightly off the ground. Body should look like an M from a side view.

 

Become aware of your coccyx and sacrum with your mind. Feel it fill with energy, with your awareness. Coccyx Breathing is Full Abdominal Breathing with a slight change:

 

1) Place your hands over your Heart Center.

 

2) Inhale from your belly except also allow the breath to fill the cavity around (behind) your coccyx, like filling a balloon. It may help to place an imaginary mouth on your coccyx. As you suck the imaginary air into this "mouth" on the inhale, you should get a sensation as if you were filling the area surrounding the coccyx with air. Also, the "mouth" should feel as if it is opening to gulp in the "air".

 

3) When you exhale, crimp the coccyx muscle. This pumps energy and spinal fluid up your spine into your head. You are closing the imaginary mouth. It's OK if the anus and PC muscles also crimp.

 

3) Repeat as needed.

 

At some point in your progress with sex energy work, your coccyx may fill with energy without you consciously telling it to. This is a sign that your body now understands that you want the sexual energy to flow backwards, not out the tip of your penis. The gates are clear, the energy blockages are gone. Be thankful when this happens. So, when your coccyx fills like a balloon, all on its own without consciously instigating a coccyx breath, during sex or other energy work, just finish the process by gently crimping your coccyx muscle on the exhale to pump the sex energy collected there up the spine and into the rest of the body.

 

Conclusion: The Pubic-Coccyx Breath

 

1) Stand erect with your hands at your side, and take a few Full Abdominal Breaths.

 

2) Do one really good Pubic Breath, I mean really empty your lungs by puffing out air repeatedly. At the end of this breath you should feel the coccyx filling involuntarily with energy which leads naturally into a Coccyx Breath.

 

3) Do a three Coccyx Breaths.

 

One Pubic-Coccyx Breath, if done with the proper intensity, is enough. Enough for what? This will sublimate sex energy very completely.

 

This is extremely helpful!

 

I have been experimenting with the udiyanbandhi and crimping/ breathing into the sacrum. I notice that if I pull the muscles around my sacrum up, I feel tinglies shoot up my spine into my head. There is also a space between the end of the tailbone and the anus that sucks inward when I do this.

 

I had not thought of connecting the heart with the sacrum breathing. The way you explained breathing into the sacrum/ coccyx gave me a different way of working with it.

 

Thanks for sharing!

 

Peace.

[SonOfTheGods]

I am a 19 yr old male and i have been currently been celibate for 30 days. In that time, I have already seen great transformation of mind and my psychological approach to the world. I feel that I have gone from being a rather ordinary slacker with little self confidence to a much more confident and determined individual.

 

I don't know how else to describe the changes that have occurred except to say that it has been made clear to me how damaging self-pleasure was to my soul and mind. my intellectualizing of it is that the more often jing-essence is released, the more empty the soul and heart become, the less confident a man will feel, as well as more physically connected to the world. i went from being a user of pornography, whom was uncomfortable around women, to a guy who can casually engage any girl in conversation. i am aroused by real women. Girls seem to sense this energy and are more drawn to me as well..... i get hit on by girls now more than ever, lol. i was always self-confident about my size, as i am only 5'5" and 110 lbs, but now i truly do not care...because i can feel the inner fire burning

 

also -- statistically, I believe it is true that men experience more orgasms than women. this addicts men to the physical aspect of sex, and they will do anything to have that physical experience, with ANYONE, hence, prostitution, et cetera. since women are more conservative, they are more discriminating with regard to partner and they must have their heart-energy attached as well. they also are more in-tune with the heart and soul orgasms that can occur in life...

 

since being celibate, i receive joy and orgasm of SPIRIT by simply being in the COMPANY of women, if that makes sense. the "jing", or fierce, intense, primal willpower which is present as a result of being celibate, i channel into music, which is my passion. i can create more fiercely than ever before, and my determination is strong as an ox. i do not need to waste this willpower on expenditure of genetic material, lol.

 

so, haha....the path to enlightenment....am i doing it right?

refreshing to hear a 19 year old with a solid foundation.

[traveler]

Uroboros: That space between the end of the tailbone and the anus is GV1, Governing Vessel 1. Glad to be of help.

[Uroboros]

Uroboros: That space between the end of the tailbone and the anus is GV1, Governing Vessel 1. Glad to be of help.

 

hehe, neat! Interesting how you can stimulate that channel so easily. The sacrum is very interesting.

 

Thanks!

[ganjaboy]

thank you for the assistance and help.

i just had a breakthrough realization. it is quite simple, really; if am harboring these thoughts of physical lust, then they can only end in one place, and that is destruction / waste of the vital jing energy. what i would need to do to be purer would be to enter into a relationship with a woman who will allow me my cultivation practice, and practice a gentle form of intercourse (coitus reservatus, Karezza, or Tantra) in which my fulfillment is in her spiritual pleasure, because i love her. I do not know why this was not clearer before, but now i realize that it is simply a matter of doing it. the physical release of jing is always a tempting peak, which yields such golden promises of pleasure, but only ends in unhappiness and loss. this is not to say that i can allow some physical pleasure for myself in a relationship, i will just have to practice balance and work more on my relationship with my partner, my Shakti.

if this energy is conserved in my relationship, it will fuel and drive my creative pursuits like never before -- if i can master the transmutation.

as i mentioned above, i will likely have one other, brief sexual relationship in my life. it is my belief that it will "get it out of my system" and assist in making me realizing the ultimate truth which is connection with the divine energy.

i should also mention something else. the reason i want to have one one-night-stand in a few years is because in the meantime, this will force me to increase my yang resonance in order to be attractive to that sort of woman, aka grow up. i am still a youthful young man and i need to enter the "real world" so to speak....and a physical necessitation such as this will help to provide the fire for me to make that happen. this transformation will service me non-sexually as well, as i will be perceived as a man. i believe that growing up is both internal and external, and that the physical transformations as well are highly sensitive to internal energies, and environmental stimulation which stimulates stress hormones.

peace to all, and thanks.

Edited October 19, 2013 by dhiggs

[mjjbecker]

I once read a profound statement which has stayed with me over the years. It seems pertinent to this thread so I will share it here:






"There is nothing so underated as bad sex or a good shit."

Seems to be far too much thinking (constipation, which is definitely not conducive to a good shit) and nowhere near enough Daoist thinking (following the way and living in the moment). If you're at college and have the opportunity to get laid, what you should be concerning yourself with is making sure you practice safe sex-using condoms-and being aware of the danger of viewing prospective partners through beer goggles. For there is another deep saying you should also bear in mind:

"Fat girls are like scooters.

Both are fun to ride,

But you wouldn't want your friends to see you on either."

 

[ganjaboy]

I once read a profound statement which has stayed with me over the years. It seems pertinent to this thread so I will share it here:

 

 

 

 

 

 

"There is nothing so underated as bad sex or a good shit."

 

 

 

 

 

Seems to be far too much thinking (constipation, which is definitely not conducive to a good shit) and nowhere near enough Daoist thinking (following the way and living in the moment). If you're at college and have the opportunity to get laid, what you should be concerning yourself with is making sure you practice safe sex-using condoms-and being aware of the danger of viewing prospective partners through beer goggles. For there is another deep saying you should also bear in mind:

 

 

 

 

 

"Fat girls are like scooters.

Both are fun to ride,

But you wouldn't want your friends to see you on either."

It seems like what you are saying is that, to some extent, I need to worry less about everything being completely ideal or perfect all the time, and live in the moment and experience life, and if this includes a hookup / premarital sex, so be it, as long as I am aware of the consequences, and do not become trapped in dangerous ways of thinking. I agree to some extent - my peers have sex all the time and do not think twice of it.

 

I will admit that I am increasing conscious of myself as a spiritual being, especially since beginning cultivation, but as I said before, I do not know that there would necessarily be harm in ONE sexual experience before a long-term partnership further down the line, especially if I have been cultivating for a long while, which I will have (1000 days). I think that the intent on eventual cultivation in a relationship, the powerful mindfulness, and perhaps one sexual experience as I had mentioned is a very reasonable form of "walking the middle path". Thoughts?

[ganjaboy]

Just keep at your goal. Insight will come along the way.

Sorry, but which goal are you referring to? i have several.