...

[ganjaboy]

Yet another awesome thing that is occurring - i am starting to grow a pretty badass beard, lol i guess it corresponds with feeling like a man...now i am actually looking like a man. i am blown away by the physical and mental transformation this is bringing about. i think that eventually i will feel such power within me that i dont need to prove anything out of fear or rage anymore.

 

no need for fighting, violence. strength yields kindness, generosity. lack of fear.

 

i just possess the strong yang resonance of spirit, and with that shield i can act out of compassion and generosity toward the human race. It is a Taoist principle that one extreme will bring about another. isn't it funny that the incredibly strong, driving force i now possess yields the utmost sensitivity and love to complement it?

 

it's weird. the more i feel like a man, the more i feel like a kid. i can act spontaneous or goofy like i did when i was a kid, because i feel strong of character. i am starting to not take myself as seriously or act as reserved as when i was a younger teenager. i belief that the constant robbing of JING led to low-self confidence due to lack of the spirit.

 

this stuff is incredible.

Edited October 20, 2013 by dhiggs

[ganjaboy]

if i make it my goals to 1) absorb sexual energy, rather than destroy it physically, 2) use it to affirm spiritual/sexual status, 3) use it to nourish jing, which in turn will open heart centers, are these a worthy goal? thanks

 

the important thing for me is breaking free permanently of the need for release of tension or destruction of energy (well, not really destruction - semen outside the body is just energy that has been allowed to reach a physical state). i feel that addiction to ejaculation makes one addicted to conflict, insecure, and chronically looking for battles. needless to say this undermines creative pursuits.

Edited October 20, 2013 by dhiggs

[Uroboros]

if i make it my goals to 1) absorb sexual energy, rather than destroy it physically, 2) use it to affirm spiritual/sexual status, 3) use it to nourish jing, which in turn will open heart centers, are these a worthy goal? thanks

 

the important thing for me is breaking free permanently of the need for release of tension or destruction of energy (well, not really destruction - semen outside the body is just energy that has been allowed to reach a physical state). i feel that addiction to ejaculation makes one addicted to conflict, insecure, and chronically looking for battles. needless to say this undermines creative pursuits.

 

The important thing is whether you feel its a worthy goal. You are the one who is going to be doing the work. You must feel passion and drive for this path, otherwise you probably wont put in the enormous effort to change your self.

 

Peace

[ganjaboy]

The important thing is whether you feel its a worthy goal. You are the one who is going to be doing the work. You must feel passion and drive for this path, otherwise you probably wont put in the enormous effort to change your self.

 

Peace

I am determined to not waste the vital energy unless either 1) it is needed for procreation, the generation of new life, or 2) I feel that, according to my best judgement, I have utilized the energy very efficiently in a non-physical and creative manner, to better my life, and I have my life together and can afford to surrender some energy for physical pleasure. That is why I may do this after, according to my current plan, another 2 years and 6 months. I am going to use the energy and iron willpower to improve my life in the meantime.

 

By the way, when I was younger child, and I experienced my first lust, orgasm and ejaculation, I felt very distraught by it in a way which I could not understand. I have concluded that this was the higher self sensing the beginning of the closing of the third eye, which usually happens at puberty. I am attempting to grow up, but re-open the third eye. The reason puberty often closes the third eye (often permanently, unfortunately) is because it is at this time that the person often transitions from a spiritual to a sexual being, the latter of which is the same as any animal in the wild whose purpose is solely to reproduce. It is my belief that these two can live in harmony - yin and yang.

 

The challenges I currently struggle with are that while the saved essence creates an immense feeling of inner strength, it can also leave me feeling very alone, and at times depressed. However, this most likely strengthens the heart centers and will make me more loving and compassionate, all in all.

 

By the way, through cultivating, I have since had no desire for outward aggression, hurt, or hostility. I seek not to destroy feeling or energy, but to bring it into my soul.

 

I have a body and mind practice I do currently, which has helped mainly with the willpower to not allow the essence to leave the body, i.e. manifest physically. The hard part is that when I draw up the energy from the loins to the brain and heart, it feels like fireworks going off in my brain, and at times my thought can be clouded and confused. I hope I am not killing brain cells lol. any suggestions?

Edited October 20, 2013 by dhiggs

[ganjaboy]

update! further insight: i read somewhere that often, women may (subconsciously) try to "pull" an orgasm or ejaculation from men during sex. i'm not saying women are energy-sucking vampires lol, but i very much believe that they can sense the energy in men and may find it more "comfortable" when a man is the dull, unexcited state of post-orgasm, i.e. he's lost his juice....this is all deeply rooted in the subconscious and internal energies.

 

see the thing is, women's validation sexually and spiritually isn't rooted in a single act such as that which man has, i.e. an ejaculation. they by nature possess more chi and are in tune with the heart centers and get heart orgasms as well. i am attempting to rewire my validation sexually to be more about spiritual sense, if i get high on the confluence of yin and yang which occurs. that FEELING that fills the shen is enough. if used correctly it can also make you more compassionate and confident, not irritable and angry.

 

it might seem from what i am posting that making love is war, not so, the energies just need to live in harmony.

 

i want the purpose of my love/cultivation with my partner/shakti to be:

 

1) recharge and increase my jing/yang resonance, which by principle, will allow me to

feel fully in connect with the yin, chi and heart essences. i have found that the fuller the jing essence, the more confident i can be, which also goes along with loving, caring, and feeling.

 

2) -- actually, basically & essentially do the same for her, with the caveat that for her (and most women), chi is almost a given, they naturally have more of it then men, so the encounter will arouse and fuel her yang-fire, which men have a natural abundance of (sometimes too much, it needs to be kept in check).

 

* important: love, in a relationship, is a condition, not an act. that's why i feel that "making love" that just ends in a needless destruction of energy for me is a disservice to myself and my partner. if i remain in a condition of perpetual energy, the heart centers will always remain open. why? because i love her, and i need her and constantly wish for her to make me full and complete.

 

i feel that for me, a cultivation-relationship is probably the only solution. i dont really even care about just having sex with anyone anymore, it's probably pointless

 

horniness (lol, but let's be honest) is an energy, a feeling - and as an artist, i thrive on those. that is why i like the idea of always conserving the feeling -- not become addicted to ridding myself of it. it is my belief that the men who are the strongest don't need to prove it.

 

treating ejaculation as stress relief is like taking a hammer to a precious china cabinet.

 

does it sound like i have a good handle on a partner practice thus far? thanks and peace

 

dhiggs

Edited October 21, 2013 by dhiggs

[ganjaboy]

So you're saying you're not complete? You're made of yin/yang and the five elements. What is missing?

how can i feel complete sexually from a spiritual sense unless i do not share sexual company with another? how could i do so on my own, unless i was asexual? Can I just absorb sexual energy from people in everyday environments?

Edited October 21, 2013 by dhiggs

[hagar]

update! further insight: i read somewhere that often, women may (subconsciously) try to "pull" an orgasm or ejaculation from men during sex. i'm not saying women are energy-sucking vampires lol, but i very much believe that they can sense the energy in men and may find it more "comfortable" when a man is the dull, unexcited state of post-orgasm, i.e. he's lost his juice....this is all deeply rooted in the subconscious and internal energies.

 

see the thing is, women's validation sexually and spiritually isn't rooted in a single act such as that which man has, i.e. an ejaculation. they by nature possess more chi and are in tune with the heart centers and get heart orgasms as well. i am attempting to rewire my validation sexually to be more about spiritual sense, if i get high on the confluence of yin and yang which occurs. that FEELING that fills the shen is enough. if used correctly it can also make you more compassionate and confident, not irritable and angry.

 

it might seem from what i am posting that making love is war, not so, the energies just need to live in harmony.

 

i want the purpose of my love/cultivation with my partner/shakti to be:

 

1) recharge and increase my jing/yang resonance, which by principle, will allow me to

feel fully in connect with the yin, chi and heart essences. i have found that the fuller the jing essence, the more confident i can be, which also goes along with loving, caring, and feeling.

 

2) -- actually, basically & essentially do the same for her, with the caveat that for her (and most women), chi is almost a given, they naturally have more of it then men, so the encounter will arouse and fuel her yang-fire, which men have a natural abundance of (sometimes too much, it needs to be kept in check).

 

* important: love, in a relationship, is a condition, not an act. that's why i feel that "making love" that just ends in a needless destruction of energy for me is a disservice to myself and my partner. if i remain in a condition of perpetual energy, the heart centers will always remain open. why? because i love her, and i need her and constantly wish for her to make me full and complete.

 

i feel that for me, a cultivation-relationship is probably the only solution. i dont really even care about just having sex with anyone anymore, it's probably pointless

 

horniness (lol, but let's be honest) is an energy, a feeling - and as an artist, i thrive on those. that is why i like the idea of always conserving the feeling -- not become addicted to ridding myself of it. it is my belief that the men who are the strongest don't need to prove it.

 

treating ejaculation as stress relief is like taking a hammer to a precious china cabinet.

 

does it sound like i have a good handle on a partner practice thus far? thanks and peace

 

dhiggs

I don´t have alot of really good advice to you. But there is a sense that you are sincere, so you deserve honesty;

Stop thinking that sexual practice will do you any good before you reach a quite a ways, practice-wise. Personally, I have thrown the whole idea of heated practice on the boat years ago and never looked back. It was a sound decision. Most books or people on the subject only lead you astray with guesswork.

 

The best thing for you, and many others who reached your sense of accomplishment is to let go of pretty much everything you think you know.

 

These things tend to have an inherent structure to them, and especially if there is feeling of getting anywhere: then stop immediately. It´s like thinking you are in the ONE pyramid scam that actually will work.

 

You would really benefit from finding a good teacher. Interestingly enough, the way to find a good teacher is to work on yourself. And the way to work you yourself is to start opening to the terrifying fact that the guy that is working on himself doesn´t actually exist. Then, more by good grace a teacher will find you.

 

And my experience is that if you find anything outside yourself that completes you, ask yourself what needs completion.

 

best of luck

 

h

[mjjbecker]

update! further insight: i read somewhere that often, women may (subconsciously) try to "pull" an orgasm or ejaculation from men during sex. i'm not saying women are energy-sucking vampires lol, but i very much believe that they can sense the energy in men and may find it more "comfortable" when a man is the dull, unexcited state of post-orgasm, i.e. he's lost his juice....this is all deeply rooted in the subconscious and internal energies.

 

No, it isn't 'insight', but it is intellectual masturbation.

 

Sex is an act of creation. This requires the merging of energy from two sources: the male and the female.

 

More often the 'problem', if you're looking for one, comes (pun intended) from the man rather than the woman. It is the man who has 'an itch he needs to scratch', to get his rocks off. It is the man who is chasing after 'release'. Look at who has driven the growth of the porn industry. Men, and male demand.

 

Yes, men throw away energy and women seek it, but do try to remember who contains and grows the new life. Given this, of course the woman seeks energy from the man.

 

You really might want to try spending some time around a woman in an actual relationship rather than continue to engage in this speculation, because that is what it is.

 

Stop the speculating and get some real experience.

[mjjbecker]

how can i feel complete sexually from a spiritual sense unless i do not share sexual company with another? how could i do so on my own, unless i was asexual? Can I just absorb sexual energy from people in everyday environments?

 

There are male and female paired practices that are not sexual.

 

Also, just by being around people there is an exchange of energy. It isn't an accident that qigong masters have people practice together in groups.

[KenBrace]

Wet dreams used to be a MAJOR problem for me and no matter how hard I tried to stay celibate, I couldn't last longer than 4 days max without having a nocturnal emission. Through disipline and practice though I have been able to make nocturnal emissions less and less frequent. Today was my seventh day of complete celibacy (the longest I've gone so far) and I've been able to deal with the energy quite well. Dhiggs, how long did it take for you to start seeing results with celibacy?

[ganjaboy]

Wet dreams used to be a MAJOR problem for me and no matter how hard I tried to stay celibate, I couldn't last longer than 4 days max without having a nocturnal emission. Through disipline and practice though I have been able to make nocturnal emissions less and less frequent. Today was my seventh day of complete celibacy (the longest I've gone so far) and I've been able to deal with the energy quite well. Dhiggs, how long did it take for you to start seeing results with celibacy?

it took me about a month if i remember correctly. if you're used to wanking (aka nursing your bleeding ego) a lot, it may be essential that you wean into it. i weaned into it over a period of over a year, then just eventually stopped completely, and even THAT was difficult.

 

it's pretty brutal honestly, i feel pretty alone inside and now am seriously looking at ways to improve my character and quality of life. there's more meaning to life but it takes a lot of courage. be careful with this if you are already prone to depression.

 

also be aware that 100% celibacy will affect your mind and psychology similar to psychotic medication

 

as far as the speculation claims, yeah there's truth in it. i'm not giving up this path though. my willpower is gonna remain strong. i pretended to be a man for long enough, its long been time to be one. but yeah, fuck the needless dialogue haha. if this site is still around in 934 days (the 1000th day of my challenge to myself), i'll post back with updates, hopefully positive.

 

edit: if in that time, this thread happens to be archived, can a mod send me the link? thanks

Edited October 22, 2013 by dhiggs

[ganjaboy]

click the download button at the bottom. It's like a bunch of icons at the bottom. You see the "facebook like button". Well it's two to the left.

 

You could just ask for a personal profile.

thanks, but i was hoping i could post an update in this thread in 934 days as well. also, what is a personal profile?

 

anyways, i'm sure it'll still be around in some form. thanks to everyone for the insights. peace and may the great all-knowing whatever be with you

Edited October 22, 2013 by dhiggs

[ganjaboy]

Oops not personal profile but personal practice.

thanks. got it, will do. first couple months were just breaking into the program, but i'm gonna start the energy work now.

[Kasuku]

i hope you know what your doing. and u have the right practice.. u don't wanna find u did a thousand days for nothing - if u were with a real master with 3 years of celibacy you could be somewhat of an immortal by the end...

[Kasuku]

Wet dreams used to be a MAJOR problem for me and no matter how hard I tried to stay celibate, I couldn't last longer than 4 days max without having a nocturnal emission. Through disipline and practice though I have been able to make nocturnal emissions less and less frequent. Today was my seventh day of complete celibacy (the longest I've gone so far) and I've been able to deal with the energy quite well. Dhiggs, how long did it take for you to start seeing results with celibacy?

i dont normally say things like this or post like this, but wow... just wow... i have no words, literally no words to say.. and u do neikung?

[KenBrace]

i dont normally say things like this or post like this, but wow... just wow... i have no words, literally no words to say.. and u do neikung?

Yeah I practice nei kung.

 

Today was day 8 and I'm still completely celibate! Shooting for 100 days!

Edited October 22, 2013 by KenBrace

[nickyro]

I practice strict sexual continence (no orgasm nor ejaculation) for many months now (maybe half a year, 150+ days), I sometimes have tantric sex with my GF without ejaculation and no blocking method (since I believe it is as well a loss of jing, also reported by the "healing tao school")) in the Yabyum or any verticalized position (since it promotes sexual energy ascendance).

I came here to warn people:

-Celibacy alone (normal diet, no meditation etc) in a low level cultivator wont do anything and can lead to jing stagnation in the lower centers, pain in lower back and into the perineum (same pain as the "blue balls"), especially if you don't have a physical/intellectual activity as an outlet.

It is NOT a valid spiritual practice.

 

-Celibacy alone with meditation and normal occidental diet will lead to abnormal social behaviours (irritability, too high sexual arousal..), because lower centers are way too much stimulated by a normal diet (spices, red meat, alcohol, acid sodas..., or anything that irritates your Gastro Intestinal Tract including the prostate) and makes your energy/jing to have a overall descendent direction and will lead to a higher ejaculation risk or maybe nocturnal emission.

 

-Celibacy with spiritual diet and no meditation is sterile as well, it is not enough to sublimate and you need meditation (void meditation or anapanasati, or qigong or even asanas...) to "purify" higher centers with Ajna as your first and safest target.

 

-With a Vegetatian/sattvic diet you can reach your 1000 days very easily but the amount of Jing will IMO not be enough to fuel your spiritual practice if you are a low or mid level cultivator. I think the ideal diet should remain "Sattvic" and sometimes (1-2 times per week) we can eat very fresh fish (not frozen as it has a "tamasic" action) to increase your jing.

But this sentence is not a true for everybody statement since we do know that diet is a cultivator-dependent parameter, as our map of obstructions in our "occult anatomy" can be very different.

Edited October 24, 2013 by nickyro

[mjjbecker]

-Celibacy alone ...It is NOT a valid spiritual practice.

 

Yes, but there are a lot of kids on this forum that think they know better, and ultimately are going to learn things the hard way. I know I've had to experience hardships in order for things to penetrate my own thick skull at times. I only hope these kids don't cause themselves irreparable damage in the process.

 

FWIW, I'll repeat myself again and say it is vital to have a teacher to guide you if you are going to try certain practices. At the very least a teacher than can help you when you do stupid things.

[SonOfTheGods]

ensure some prostate care!

[ChiDragon]

Only with moderation, ofc.

Edited October 25, 2013 by ChiDragon

[寒月 Hanyue]

It IS vital to have a teacher to guide you if you are going to try certain practices.

 

At the very least a teacher than can help you when you do stupid things.

 

And I'll repeat it again, because it is sagely advice too often ignored by many who think things don't apply to them, until they find themselves posting on a forum asking for help from people they don't know.

 

This is not a comment upon any posts in this thread in particular, it is a comment on a general situation as viewed by myself and others who understand neigong much better than I do. Apologies if this is a derail.....

Edited October 26, 2013 by snowmonki

[寒月 Hanyue]

Everyone who practice cultivation eventually get a teacher (rather physical or nonphysical). Tell me one person who hasn't?

Chidragon?

[ChiDragon]

"Everyone who practice cultivation eventually get a teacher (rather physical or nonphysical). Tell me one person who hasn't?"

Chidragon?

I know all the teachers will be repeating the same thing that has been written in the books, verbatim, without any good explanations. I can read books or from the internet with people whom have good insights at any instance. I cannot and will not take this for granted: "Chi flows in your body." So, I may become a teacher and repeat the same thing to the next student; and the next student pass down to the next and on and on. There are so many meanings of the character, Chi(氣). Everybody looks at Chi only with one definition as "energy". Fortunately, this the not the right approach for me. I need to look deeper and more subtle then that. Besides, a good teacher can only give you good guidance but cannot make you a better student. The key is how much a student can be absorbed or digested. It is mainly by the intuition and intelligence of the students.

 

The comprehension of the basic principle is the key to cultivation, it was not only by the words from the guidance of a teacher.

 

PS....

I thank you for addressing this question for me to clarify....!!!

Edited October 26, 2013 by ChiDragon

[ganjaboy]

*clears throat*

 

You guys are gonna think I'm crazy, as per the title of this thread, but....

 

After doing some deep thinking on comments made earlier...I had sex with a female partner. (Not kidding). I'm still sort of reeling / in shock from this, because two months ago I would have lacked the confidence or belief in myself to be able to find one. But the energy had to go somewhere I guess. The events leading up to it and the actual thing itself happened in a total of one day and a night. When it became clear to me through our dialogue that it could happen, I kind of forgot about the precepts and speculation I had held and just automatically seized the moment. I tried not even to think about self-confidence as being relevant at all; if another had seen me worthy of her company, then what my perceptions were were irrelevant.

 

In retrospect I can't really say whether it was a mistake or not. I guess I always sort of knew that for someone my age, over two years of celibacy was a rather impractical, if prudish goal. On the other hand, I'm sort of aware of both a new depth and shallowness to sexuality. I don't really feel like any more of a man than I did before, perhaps there is a bit more self confidence, but I guess I feel like...it was just sex. It was just a thing, like hunger, or sleep, or anything else. There was pleasure, yes, but like anything else, it may have been able to be better expressed or experienced if the needs on each person's part were better understood. I put my partner first and was not selfish, but for something of this nature it is hard to get it completely right the first time.

 

I did have a chance to do a mild degree of energy retention/cultivation during the experience, but again, it would have been more controllable if not as spontaneous an encounter.

 

Not sure what to think here, though. In some ways I feel relieved and opened, in other ways I sense a greater responsibility and deepness to life. I don't really crave sex anymore than I did before, it's just that the "breaking in" sense is gone, and to be honest, I'm all for eliminating obsessions in life. Thoughts?

Edited October 27, 2013 by dhiggs

[ganjaboy]

Don't worry. You can start over again

hahahaha....haha...ha....302thsdfhasdhasdsa

Edited October 27, 2013 by dhiggs