the opposite of love

[roger]

specialness

 

 

I just want to share a few thoughts about this, mainly for my own sake, because I've been dealing with the idea of specialness, especially when it comes to negative emotions.

 

ACIM says, "Salvation is the end of specialness," and, "In this world specialness is the substitute for love."

 

 

Think about this. ON WHAT BASIS would one be special?

 

Specialness seems to me to be the ultimate "conditional love." It's because you meet certain conditions. A man loves a woman because she's pretty. That's not LOVE! A mother loves her son because he's her son. Again, not real love.

 

Here's the ultimate in conditional love, in specialness: I love myself because I'm I. THAT'S NOT TRUE SELF-LOVE!!

 

I think it's not that love SHOULD BE unconditional.....it can't not be.

 

 

Conditional love, which is the essence of "specialness," is the ultimate subject-object relationship, seeing others as an object to be gained from.

 

 

ACIM teaches that there is a moment when the meaning of love dawns on a person. A quote is, "Death is not overcome until the meaning of love is understood."

 

 

I see love as the meaning of itself. Therefore one must understand the NATURE of love.

 

 

That's why I'm making this post. I want to know what love is. You see, I, and most people, know what love is to some degree, we know love in part, but not fully.

 

 

Basically, I feel that we have to grasp the fact that love is unconditional and that no one is "special."

 

 

You are not special to yourself or to your loved ones in any real sense, it's just that they love you. We need to reinterpret our specialness AS love, and our APPARENT desire to be special as the will to love within us.

 

 

NO ONE truly desires to be special. What seems to be the desire to be special is the desire for love, and calls for reinterpretation.

[Nikolai1]

I've come to realise that our love for a special individual and our love for God are the same feeling.

 

The illusion is that the person causes our feelings of love, and so we get attached to that person in particular. But this is all back to front. Our love is always there, for all people, but we don't believe it - so it gets focussed on one person.

 

I now realise that we can both have many different loves, AND that there is one true love waiting for me. The one true love will be there when we stop loving anyone in particular.

Edited October 8, 2013 by Nikolai1

[Jetsun]

I think wounding like being made to feel worthless or insignificant is the other side of the coin of wanting to be special. One aspect of love is the fact that your whole being can never be completely trapped in such a dynamic

[baiqi]

Real Love has no opposite.

[idiot_stimpy]

Think about this. ON WHAT BASIS would one be special?

 

Being separate from others.

[Marblehead]

But I still think you are special Roger. Sorry.

[3bob]

every individual soul is unique and thus "special" in that sense or way but the universal spirit that powers every soul is the same,

not unlike the simple fact that every tree in a forest has its own life at a certain level yet all are powered by the sun.

[Nikolai1]

affinity/rapport/resonance/karmic connection

 

 

because when we have any of the above with someone, we think of them as 'special' to us, and that we have a deeper and more significant love with them than with others.

 

cat - I've always wondered about this. Why we meet someone and click / fall in love very quickly. Do you think this is more likely to happen the more we grow spiritually?

[idiot_stimpy]

"Salvation is the end of specialness,"

 

The end of feeling separate.

 

When the barriers of inside/outside, heaven/earth, formlessness/form breaks down what is you is indistinguishable from everything else.

[suninmyeyes]

...

 

And yes, if it's more than 'my neurosis fits in perfectly with your neurosis'.. if it's falling in love.. then its a mixture of this ...along with non psychological resonance.

 

...

I have recently read an intersting saying by Bushman on this

 

"Anger attracts ,

love transformes ."

 

As well as remeber reading Yogini Machig Labrdon who says (do not quote exactly -- along the lines of ) that it is actualy our demons who are eager to enter in the battle with each other when getting attracted to someone ..Which is not necesssary pessimistic point of view , becouse in order to become more transparent we need to be put against some situation or another . Like polishing a dimond .

Edited October 8, 2013 by suninmyeyes

[Nikolai1]

You know there is fitting together of unconscious complexes which draws people together like magnets. Often, ime, creating plenty of opportunity for SGP.

 

And if they are unconscious they can operate between people with any need for surface conscious affinity. This is hard. To fall in love with someone without anything tangible in the world to make it look sensible. Like your love is all in heaven and has no place here on earth. I'm sure this can only give opportunity for growth.

 

I wonder whether spiritual growth allows you to become aware of unconscious complexes. Almost like you are able to fall in love with people you could never have considered before.

 

I guess the lucky ones fall in love unconsciously, and there is no earthly reason why they shouldn't be together, so they are. The unlucky ones fall in love based on surface criteria that are more likely to change over time.

[SecretGrotto]

Fear is the opposite of love.

[idiot_stimpy]

http://www.opposite-word.com/default.asp