How is it to explain that during times of cultivating Life Force you get grumpy as a male?

[4bsolute]

If you have no creative outlet, do not meditate very often - why is it that as male (I can only speak for my own male being) that you tend to get more straight forward, more expressive in a rather offhand or harsh way?

 

Even tho I do not mean to be that way deep inside because I know my yin nature very well (from the past when I didnt know anything about cultivation).

 

I literally cant stand my own self at some days... and getting told left and right that I am too demanding to my self. Too challenging in how I live my discipline and that this is carrying over to the life of others. More controlling. Even tho I practice not to interfer with other lives. One sentences a day of gentle critique seems to be like a sledgehammer for the ego, enough for one entire month.

 

But especially regading my discipline I feel perfectly fine. It's just that my environment and sadly my entire cultive I live in mostly doesnt know anything about body, mind, sould discipline / cultivation. hashtageurope slashsigh

 

I want to jump on my Ironshirt practice but 'have' to wait another two weeks in order to complete one entire month...

 

Are these all the qualities of unrefined Yang?

Edited November 26, 2013 by 4bsolute

[Seeker of Wisdom]

Keep cultivating, watch the layers of the onion peel off one at a time. Rather than putting yourself down for where you're at, take joy in steady improvement.

Edited November 26, 2013 by Seeker of Tao

[juliank]

You are correct that you will seem overly brutal if you are harnessing jing and do not express it in some fashion or have a steady practice of meditation.

 

You are referring to retention, correct ?

 

I laughed at your description at seeming like a sledgehammer to others even though your critique is 'gentle'. Also this critique that you are referring to is towards others, right ? I couldnt quite understand if you meant towards others or towards yourself.

[z00se]

Hmmm.... I know what you mean. I think you can try to not be so demanding with foresight, which will no doubt be alot of effort for you, or just be as demanding as you please, and finally you will be forced into being less demanding in a way you won't like. Either way it doesn't matter, the fact that you will need to change you won't like it. Nobody does, in all the people i have taught anyhow.

Lets see, if nobody wants to talk to you anymore or you lose friendships over your being demanding you will have some gentle force to change. If you practice qigong intensely and demand hours of practice of yourself each day, the energy will actually force you to be less demanding. I had this experience, you realise you are literally fighting against yourself. It's being shown, open to suggestion and learning from whats around you that cultivation is all about. When you realise this it can be easier to change. Sometimes the long way is quicker and easier than what appears to be a short cut.

 

 

"But especially regarding my dispipline i feel perfectly fine.... sadly my entire culture.... *sigh* " (paraphrased because for some reason i can't paste)

 

This is the funniest part of your post. This is typical western thought, like humans are right, and the land is for us. Natural disasters are just an annoyance and set us back, etc. U belong to your environment, you are not the light in your sick culture. The culture and you're country is you, the time is now, flow and flourish with it. It's not the goal to seperate yourself from everything and have all the good (because the bad will search you out believe me), rather change your reactions to your environment. Maybe when the people tell you you need to change they are right. Maybe change in a way that you feel comfortable with AND sees you get along better with others.

 

I not sure which iron shirt you are talking about but if it is anything like the HT version if you be gentle and take it slow i'm sure you could start straight away. In fact i think it would probably help if you are retaining.

[h.uriahr]

I tend to get back into my 'fleshy' side if I don't cultivate-pray too. I see it as the ego rearing its head. I do have times though when I'm plugged into 24 7 and it is amazing...stay plugged in brother

[CloudHands]

I think it's more or less normal to feel that living today's world is toxic and that our culture is disconnected from our root. I could develop (really) a lot on that. What's funny is that was the same case 2500 years ago. What's curious is that was "annoying" enough for him to quit to the west.

I can only tell for me, I'm not full light, not darkness either, just trying to feel the balance.

This feeling is the very base on what I'm trying to go a smaller way than the mainstream. That's what adaptation is.

 

Somewhere me talking here is pointless, pratice is the key. I just thought you (z00se) was a bit hard in you post.

 

 

What is my thinking now is that a way or another people are always trying to get full. Here "cultivation" it's just about a more "refined" way. Question is, to do what ?

 

It's said that taoism is not about being full.

 

 

I'm not trying to make a point, simply expressing my feeling.

 

 

Always a pleasure to read this forum.

[idiot_stimpy]

Have Compassion

[Gemstone]

For me, the most important aspect of jing is the childlike nature.

It has the ability to disarm conflicts.

To educate with jokes and laughter.

 

It is the perfect attitude to ground energies from cultivation.

[dwai]

It'll be good remember that "forcing" anything is not the Daoist way. Daoist way is about moderation, about not trying too hard. When we try too hard, we end up putting emotional and physical pressure on ourselves. Be kind to your self and to others around you.

 

Learn to play a musical instrument or paint or something. Often, channeling your energy through an artistic medium is a good way to not only let off some of the "steam" and relieve pressure, but also a good way to develop intuition, etc.

[4bsolute]

You are correct that you will seem overly brutal if you are harnessing jing and do not express it in some fashion or have a steady practice of meditation.

 

You are referring to retention, correct ?

 

I laughed at your description at seeming like a sledgehammer to others even though your critique is 'gentle'. Also this critique that you are referring to is towards others, right ? I couldnt quite understand if you meant towards others or towards yourself.

 

Retention yes.

 

Towards others yes. Ego-answers, dont hurt me.

 

Keep cultivating, watch the layers of the onion peel off one at a time. Rather than putting yourself down for where you're at, take joy in steady improvement.

 

I dropped the idea to take notes on my journey. But occasionally I do. Like some experiments on birds when I focus on my heart and they literally want to make little baby birds with me haha! I know what you mean

 

Hmmm.... I know what you mean. I think you can try to not be so demanding with foresight, which will no doubt be alot of effort for you, or just be as demanding as you please, and finally you will be forced into being less demanding in a way you won't like. Either way it doesn't matter, the fact that you will need to change you won't like it. Nobody does, in all the people i have taught

 

You would be surprised that since my very first contact with meditation I got a sucker for change. It came natural. Changing constantly. That is why nowadays I have a hard time grasping peoples ignorance towards change. Like with my Girlfriend: I have all tools to make her feel well, but she is not in the mood to ask (since I am too challenging at the moment) and she is also resistant to change. Or at least lets call it "in the phase of resisting change" and not embracing it.

 

Change is such a beautiful thing once you felt it with more than just your brain forming it into a hard idea like discipline. I mean everything changes? Only our very ignorance keeps us from ever-changing. This is why people get "old", this is why people get stiff. Mentally and then physically.

 

 

Lets see, if nobody wants to talk to you anymore or you lose friendships over your being demanding you will have some gentle force to change. If you practice qigong intensely and demand hours of practice of yourself each day, the energy will actually force you to be less demanding. I had this experience, you realise you are literally fighting against yourself. It's being shown, open to suggestion and learning from whats around you that cultivation is all about. When you realise this it can be easier to change. Sometimes the long way is quicker and easier than what appears to be a short cut.

 

I feel very often my kidneys. Which are associated with gentleness which is exactly the opposite on what I am living. So the practice would be to practice gentleness and automatically "recycle" the negatively stored energies that can arrise through cultivation and not being cycled in your body correctly.

 

For the last week it was the left "back" side of my kidney and since this week its the front part of my right kidney, that hurts. Like a feeling of "being too full" of something.

 

Real Qi Gong practice is delayed for another 2weeks in completion of 1month of cultivating Qi due to my "naughtiness" mid-early this month. But I will see, I feel I want to start slowly.

 

And you are correct regarding my culture. I am in that culture and I already do my best everyday to change these cultural patterns. I see very clearly that all cycles in nature have it's reason to exist, to balance itself out. I find nature always a great example. It is somewhat of the last cauterization of my ex-rebellish nature that sometimes my mind is angry about the unconscious lifestyle of my fellow humans around me. These thought patterns will clear itself aswell.

 

I should remind myself more of the magic in my childhood when I was at school and painted streaks of my hair in a different color each day and other kids found me really strange. So I dropped it just to see them coloring their hair a few weeks later, calling it 'trend' and seemingly couldnt remember me doing it in the first place. Really interesting from a point of non-bias or ego.

 

The funny part here is actually that with these thought patterns I fuel exactly the seperation I do not want to be in. Crazy right? If we understand more about a collective sub-consciousness (at first) then it so obvious to drop these patterns in no time.

 

In general: When one cant change easily, one simply lacks a greater deal of perspective.

 

Thank you very much!

 

 

I think it's more or less normal to feel that living today's world is toxic and that our culture is disconnected from our root.

 

Even venting is a valid point

 

You are this culture. You are human consciousness, there is no exception. We only make things worse if we seperate us mentally.

 

Our root is the core of this planet here. Root yourself daily in a sense of grounding. You can even stand on naked soil with your bare feet in the winter, it will give you warm after a short time. This rooting is at the moment very important, since all our foods are GMO'd. Means your DNA is getting a mess if you do not ground yourself. Grounding towards the earth's core has the effect of resetting your DNA. Do this daily.

 

Connection to our earth and to the sun is very important in these times. If you do, you will understand the bigger picture regarding the changes on this planet now, speaking of our sun, the change in density and our corporations here. Since fear is ready to be extinguished out of our global consciousness I will not go in detail.

 

All the best and again: Thanks to all of you

Edited November 27, 2013 by 4bsolute

[johndoe2012]

Being grumpy I know about.

 

For me it is more like a bodily irritation that is reflected in speech and action.

 

What helps is walking in the woods, being with children, reminding me of the senses "how am I experiencing this moment through my senses?" to avoid being caught in the thinking mind.

 

From a almost fanatic approach to cultivation I had to slow down and integrate daily life more which also helped.

 

EDIT: contemplating "why do I see myself as separate?" continously cuts down ego-tendencies

Edited November 28, 2013 by chris d

[BaguaKicksAss]

I get grumpy when my cultivation hits a bump and I'm working through something. I'm not male though .

 

Also I have noticed that folks who practice a LOT, (including myself) tend to project their emotions much more strongly than intended. I have been on the accidentally sending, as well as the receiving end of this. What we perceive as slightly annoyed tends to energetically come across as angry sometimes. I find that keeping my thoughts and energy neutral when communicating with people helps this a lot.

[Aetherous]

I think it can really help...nah actually it is essential...to actively cultivate compassion and feelings of love, forgiveness, acceptance, etc, for each person in your life. This will transmute the grumpies into goodies.

[juliank]

"If you have no creative outlet, do not meditate very often - why is it that as male (I can only speak for my own male being) that you tend to get more straight forward, more expressive in a rather offhand or harsh way?"

 

No offense, but that is the crux of your issue. I think you already knew this but it cannot be reiterated enough so that others can read this. If you are retaining meditation is an absolute must. The longer you retain the more critical this becomes. I don't even want to know what my retention journey would have turned into had I not made space for my meditation practice on a daily basis. Meditation not only calms your whole system down so that your excess yang gets refined and becomes subtler in its application but its the vehicle for sublimation itself. Somewhere on this board I read something to the effect "rocket fuel is worthless if you have no rocket". Meditation is that rocket. Get to it