Methods for excess sexual heat dissipation

[ganjaboy]

I have a dedicated cultivation/meditation and practice sexual q-gong pretty much consistently now. Even though I have a partner I treat the relationship as an extension of the cultivation, which is good for the "relationship" part because I am always ready for her to share herself with me as the raw yang-desire (from the jing) is never satiated. This isn't a bad thing though! The idea is to take what is primarily an animal desire, let that flow through me, feel it, note it, but make the conscious choice to not waste this energy, and instead transform that into a yin-feeling. After that's done, i sort of have this feeling of "what is the big deal about?", and can cater with love to my partner's needs in a totally non-selfish manner.

 

Even when my partner isn't around I get aroused normally during the day. I attempt to sublimate this energy. The best way I have found so far is, if I get a hard-on or lustful thoughts, to sit naked and cross legged in a quite room and meditate on the desire itself. Naked because it is, in my opinion, a relatively innocent way to feel in touch with your sexual center without being overly lustful. It's important to allow the lust feelings to pass through you (the horniness plays an element) but to make the intuitive realization that the desire comes from emptiness. I find it's best to envision myself in a situation in which I acted on lust, and to decide whether I would truly have been happy or not. Once I've let it go, I find that doing yoga is a great way to get rid of some of the heat.

 

It's odd, but I feel like the true enlightenment comes when you feel sexually "full" and verified as a human but without the animal desire to commit an act of lust. Lust is an obstacle and I am curious to see if through enough cultivation I could rid the desire completely.

 

By the way - I discovered that diet did play a role after all. My nocturnal emissions reduced to almost none since getting a partner, but especially after I became a vegetarian and stopped eating lots of "violent", dense or salty foods. I eat fruits and vegetable dishes with mild spices, and get protein from nuts and beans which are less harsh than meat. I also feel lighter and overall have more energy.

 

Anyways - thoughts on all this?

Edited December 2, 2013 by dhiggs

[RiverSnake]

 

It's odd, but I feel like the true enlightenment comes when you feel sexually "full" and verified as a human but without the animal desire to commit an act of lust.

 

Interesting observations. Thanks for sharing.

 

My 2 cents, Peace

[liminal_luke]

 

Lust is an obstacle and I am curious to see if through enough cultivation I could rid the desire completely.

 

You may well be right dhiggs but I really hope not. I'm definately a retention newbie, at least in terms of actual acomplishment, but one of the things I like most about not ejaculating is how horny it makes me. There's a feeling of aliveness and vitality in desire that I'm just not ready to give up. Then again, I've been known to go into bakeries when I'm on a diet just for the pleasure of ogling the chocolate cake. Is it possible to "enjoy" the wanting itself without feeling compelled to indulge? Successful ascetics will, no doubt, speak of the infinitely greater joys after extinguishing those pesky urges, but I dunno. I think I'd miss it.

[ganjaboy]

You may well be right dhiggs but I really hope not. I'm definately a retention newbie, at least in terms of actual acomplishment, but one of the things I like most about not ejaculating is how horny it makes me. There's a feeling of aliveness and vitality in desire that I'm just not ready to give up. Then again, I've been known to go into bakeries when I'm on a diet just for the pleasure of ogling the chocolate cake. Is it possible to "enjoy" the wanting itself without feeling compelled to indulge? Successful ascetics will, no doubt, speak of the infinitely greater joys after extinguishing those pesky urges, but I dunno. I think I'd miss it.

I think that what you're feeling is just natural verification of your existence as a sexual being, and in my opinion there's nothing wrong with that. The desire isn't evil, it's just a feeling, like any other. But as Ram Dass said, you have to be the "me that's watching all the other me's." These states that you feel or find yourself in are always only temporary, just passin' through. There's the horny self yes, but also the jealous self, hungry self, embarrassed self, angry self, etc. I've been pretty amazed myself by the transformation of the physical sexual "need" to an internal feeling almost. I've found with my partner that over time you can morph the need to have sex in an animalistic sense to almost just cosmic vibration that connects through space. Like, her and I can sit across the room from each other and i'm still feeling vibes. It's great fun actually lol. It works out well too because if she doesn't feel like having sex, i'm aroused just by her presence and can be content with that. it reminds you of the shortcomings of the physical attachment to sex.

 

I feel like when you orgasm/ejaculate, it's the most physical manifestation of this energy possible, i.e. its lowest outlet. But if you don't do that you'll find that the energy comes through in your life in other ways. You literally will physically change, an effect somewhat similar to steroids, and your eyes will be brighter. You'll also have way more energy and motivation if you are careful, but it can also lead to depression if done incorrectly

 

In a nutshell, my observations - When the jing (精) is full you're reminded of all there is to life besides sex, and you're also more compassionate. When it's empty you want to do nothing except have sex. Sex addicts are addicted to the physical release of sex and are low or empty on the internal yin-energy that we seek to cultivate.

Edited December 2, 2013 by dhiggs

[liminal_luke]

 

Sex addicts are addicted to the physical release of sex and are low or empty on the internal yin-energy that we seek to cultivate.

 

If I understand you correctly, I agree. Sometimes the more sex you have, the less sexual you are.

[ganjaboy]

If I understand you correctly, I agree. Sometimes the more sex you have, the less sexual you are.

 

In particular I think it is that way for men, because (traditional) Western sex is a decharging act for them instead of a recharging one. The energy that some schools of Tantra, for instance, teach you to keep inside the body and ascend to the brain or heart gets wasted every encounter. The last time I brought myself to ejaculation it was so readily apparent how draining and destructive it was that I pretty much vowed not to do the same again, nor could I do so without bringing on self-hatred. The fact that I completed the 100 day challenge (without intentional spilling of semen) proves that the physical release of sex can be entirely done without, at least for me, and there are so many better ways to sublimate the energy instead. I legitimately think there is a place for self-experimentation and practice sexually (don't confuse with replacing a partner), but not really beyond the teenage years because by then (hopefully) you've figured this out. That said, I'm 19 and I am sure there are people older than me who haven't, lol.

 

Whenever I lose essence I feel more earth-bound, unmotivated, and not as deep in any of my realizations or meditations for a period of time. Conversely, when I've retained for a long time I perceive a richness to life that isn't present when I'm spiritually empty. It doesn't just cause increased awareness of sexuality, it also makes you more liable to aggression, and at times, paranoia. That's why it's important to redirect it efficiently. The more I cultivate/retain however, the less affected I am by occasional nocturnal setbacks.

Edited December 3, 2013 by dhiggs