BKA's guide on how to pickup women.... and lizard people

[Nungali]

Are you trying to CHEAT ? THAT is 2 1/2 hours practice there ! Get to it

[Nungali]

The Egyptian.

This morning I awoke to a beautiful day. I poured a pitcher of water over my head and put on a clean white robe. My sleeping wife looked so at peace I left her and went down to the river to greet the dawn. I assumed the position of adoration and held my palms up to feel the Sun's rays and commenced the 'Adoration of Ra’ as the Sun came over the horizon. The ripples on the water glittered red and gold and the day started to come alive. A flock of geese crossed the river high in the sky, a fish jumped and splashed in the water and I, now in ecstasy, knew I was alive inside the body of God.

I returned to my house and went inside and greeted my wife, she looked exceptionally beautiful this morning. We ate together, I looked into her eyes and kissed her and went out to plough the fields.

Later I came back to rest from the heat of the day. My wife had prepared raisin cakes and barley beer. I ate and drank and then, looking at her, became filled with passion but she held her palm against my heart, gently holding me back and with the other hand offered me the plate of raisin cakes and said, "Last night I had a dream, please take these cakes and offer them in the temple." I looked at her, not understanding, but saw the love was still in her eyes, so I obeyed.

I went to the temple and thought to offer the cakes to Ra but on my way to his shrine I noticed an alcove on the side and within stood a Goddess I have never seen before. I could not identify her, so I went through the temple until I found a priest and asked him, "Who is that Goddess in the side alcove of this temple?" he looked at me strangely and replied,
"There is no side alcove in this temple."

Thanking him, and hoping that he would soon recover from whatever madness had afflicted him I went back and made my offering to the strange but somehow familiar Goddess.

Later that night I made love to my wife. Something happened. We have never joined like that before. She was like a new person and my heart was aflame with passion. We thrashed and convulsed in a dark pool of energy whose surface rippled and snaked up in tendrils of darkness and shook and splashed out surrounding us and out of the darkness condensed tiny points of light with the brightness and colors of the gems in Pharaoh's crown. They sprinkled down upon us. My wife lay back seductive, deliciously, yet modestly and I have never seen such a beautiful sight in my life - it healed my eyes. She looked somehow different, yet familiar, it was as if her face had changed, but it was still her face. And then I knew! She had the face of the Goddess in the temple!

The next morning, again she slept peacefully, not wanting to disturb her I went to the river to adore Ra in his rising. I picked a blue lotus flower and rushed to the temple to offer it to the Goddess.

When I arrived I could not find the alcove or the statue. I approached another priest and asked him about it.

"Foolish old man," he replied, "I do not know of any temple around here like that or any such Goddess - go back to your wife."

So I did, taking her the lotus, but on the way home I saw a neighbor,
"Good news!" he called to me and came over. "As you know," he said, "my wife and I crave for a child and we could never have one, but this very morning the doctor told her she is with child."

I saw another elderly neighbor and noticed he had lost his limp. All the sunflowers in the field had opened. Another neighbor - cranky, old Ahmose - was sharing his breakfast with a stray dog.

I entered my house and gave the lotus to my wife, kissing her on the cheek. She took it and smiled and looked deep into my eyes and said, "Something wonderful has happened."

"I know." I told her.


[ No ... it's not for you BKA ... but BOY have I got one for you ! ( 'The Demon Lover'. ) ]

Edited January 1, 2014 by Nungali

[Marblehead]

 

Women can be clever when it comes to getting what they want

With me they never had to be very clever at all. I was pretty easy in my younger days.

[3bob]

having a friendly dog and taking it for lots of walks is one way to meet people, (at least dog friendly people) such doesn't work with cats.

[Marblehead]

having a friendly dog and taking it for lots of walks is one way to meet people, (at least dog friendly people) such doesn't work with cats.

Hehehe. I had a cat I made a harness and leash for. He, most times, had no problem with going for a walk with me. He was hell on wheels when anything spooked him though.

[suninmyeyes]

There used to live this man in my city and he would always walk his duck and everyone knew him .

So maybe duck could be an option too ..

[Captain Mar-Vell]

...

And there was that mad poet with the lobster...

...

[Apech]

[Marblehead]

...

And there was that mad poet with the lobster...

...

I never heard about him.

[Captain Mar-Vell]

...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gerard_de_Nerval

 

Nerval had a pet lobster named Thibault which he took for walks in the Palais Royal gardens in Paris on the end of a blue silk ribbon.

 

I don't have a lobster by the way.

 

Or any other pet.

 

And I think making a harness and leash for a cat is a damn shame.

 

Kinda funny, but a damn shame.

...

Edited January 1, 2014 by Captain Mar-Vell

[Wells]

Simply wear this T-Shirt. Chicks will immedeately understand and comply.

 

[Captain Mar-Vell]

...

I want one that reads;

 

Pussy Magnet.

 

Ha ha ha!

...

Edited January 1, 2014 by Captain Mar-Vell

[Wells]

Incarnate the Dark Triad (Psychopathy, Narcissism, Machiavellism) and wear a nice suit, then chicks' pulse will raise up & brain will shut down, even if you are a skinny, quiet, small and middle-aged man!

(A wide high-testosterone indicating jaw bone doesn't hurt also...)

 

Evidence:

 

 

 

 

Edited January 2, 2014 by Dorian Black

[Aetherous]

Incarnate the Dark Triad (Psychopathy, Narcissism, Machiavellism) and wear a nice suit, then chicks' pulse will raise up & brain will shut down, even if you are a skinny, quiet, small and middle-aged man!

(A wide high-testosterone indicating jaw bone doesn't hurt also...)

 

You've got to ask yourself...who would want to be with that type of girl?

[Wells]

You've got to ask yourself...who would want to be with that type of girl?

 

As it is an evolutionary imperativ in the genes of all women to go for Dark Triad guys when they are at the peak of fertility every month during ovulation.

The high-level testosterone guy (with good genes for a good immune system) is the preferred "short-term mate" for every normal woman (for getting pregnant!), the a-bit-over-average-level testosterone guy is the preferred "long-term mate" (to bring the children up)....which in 1 of 5 cases (!) means that he can upbring the child of another man!

Scientific facts!

Edited January 2, 2014 by Dorian Black

[Wells]

So...if you are not a high-level-test dark-triad-behaving wide-jaw guy yourself and your gf tells you about a typical Dark Triad dude in a bar that she finds his self-glorifying behavior "disgusting", then it's probably better when you take care that she doesn't go with her gf for a drink into said bar during her ovulation...or you could probably be in for a treat 9 months later!

First saying of your gf after the birth to you then: "The child looks exactly as the father!"...which you will most probably misunderstand with thankfulness...as intended!

Edited January 2, 2014 by Dorian Black

[Aetherous]

I prefer the type with a functioning prefrontal cortex, who has evolved beyond the animal level of always acting purely out of evolutionary impulse, and who lacks the slave programming which bows down before those with personality disorders.

They're somewhat rare...but the colloquial and elusive "normal girl".

In the meantime, I primarily contemplate this, since it's the only thing I would care for: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+31

[BaguaKicksAss]

As it is an evolutionary imperativ in the genes of all women to go for Dark Triad guys when they are at the peak of fertility every month during ovulation.

The high-level testosterone guy (with good genes for a good immune system) is the preferred "short-term mate" for every normal woman (for getting pregnant!), the a-bit-over-average-level testosterone guy is the preferred "long-term mate" (to bring the children up)....which in 1 of 5 cases (!) means that he can upbring the child of another man!

Scientific facts!

 

AWESOME, that means they leave all the other ones for me!!!! :)

[Wells]

I prefer the type with a functioning prefrontal cortex, who has evolved beyond the animal level of always acting purely out of evolutionary impulse, and who lacks the slave programming which bows down before those with personality disorders.

 

They're somewhat rare...but the colloquial and elusive "normal girl".

 

In the meantime, I primarily contemplate this, since it's the only thing I would care for: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+31

 

The "normal" girl is the average girl. The scientific results describe the behavior of the average girl.

During ovulation, if exposed to the strong stimulus of a social dominant behaving high-test dude, who picks up the average girl, her prefrontal cortex obviously stops functioning temporarily.

[BaguaKicksAss]

And all of my friends... though I have one friend who likes a guy in a nice suit, she is 60, the rest of us are younger .

 

her prefrontal cortex obviously stops functioning temporarily.

 

Well I guess that could explain my ex.... ROFL he wasn't wearing a suit though.

 

Edit: half an hour of Bagua, coming right up!

[Wells]

AWESOME, that means they leave all the other ones for me!!!! :)

 

The below-average-test androgynous non-threatening males are considered non-attractive by most women and are therefore friend-zoned ( ) and mostly free...or gay!

 

And all of my friends... though I have one friend who likes a guy in a nice suit, she is 60, the rest of us are younger .

 

 

Well I guess that could explain my ex.... ROFL he wasn't wearing a suit though.

 

Edit: half an hour of Bagua, coming right up!

 

The suit plays no role, I just added it as detail so it would fit Rumple.

Although, the suit could symbolize wealth, which is an important long-term mate factor for most women because of obvious reasons.

In Rumple's example it could also symbolize sophistication on the outside, the ability to self-control and civilized behavior despite his high-test aggressiveness level (=> also good long term mate because he has his high aggression under control and therefore he doesn't immedeately beat up the kids & wife if they go on his nerves...but still is a great protector for them because he still can direct his high aggression against possible threats to the family).

Edited January 2, 2014 by Dorian Black

[Wells]

Well I guess that could explain my ex....

 

Ok, so your genes are normal and healthy!

[BaguaKicksAss]

*sigh*, let me just spell it out for you guys... judging by what my friends and I talk about and post on facebook this is what women look for in a man:

 

 

 

[Aetherous]

The "normal" girl is the average girl. The scientific results describe the behavior of the average girl.

During ovulation, if exposed to the strong stimulus of a social dominant behaving high-test dude, who picks up the average girl, her prefrontal cortex obviously stops functioning temporarily.

 

Well then...only interested in the abnormal woman. lol

 

Lets put it in the terms of the opposite gender...say, you see a girl who looks like an 11 on the scale of 1-10. Imagine your brain shutting down completely, and being unable to resist impregnating her due to your genetics. Complete override.

 

Has that ever happened to you? Me either.

 

I could admit at times...wow she's really attractive. But to basically become an entirely different person in one moment and forget all about your aspirations in life...that's not what I'm about, nor do I want it to be what my future children's mother to be about.

[Wells]

*sigh*, let me just spell it out for you guys... judging by what my friends and I talk about and post on facebook this is what women look for in a man:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aragorn fits well the rare "suited" (and therefore even possibly long-term) high-test short-term-mate type:

 

1) facial features: square big jaw bone, dominant chin.

2) psychopathic behavior: fearless hero, warrior, hunter, doesn't care about his own safety.

=> high-test level and therefore good genes and good protector for a possible family!

 

1) restraint behavior, gallantry, hero-code

=> good self-control, therefore good father

 

1) Prince, high wealth, big castle etc.

=> good bread-winner & good nest-provider for his brood & family

 

 

=> ideal partner type in the eyes of most women!

Edited January 2, 2014 by Dorian Black