BKA's guide on how to pickup women.... and lizard people

[bax44]

It doesn't matter whether or someone is consciously doing it or not, the successful guy is going to do the same things that other successful guys do (good guys, douche bags, whatever) and the successful guy is going to be doing the things that unsuccessful guys AREN'T doing.

 

The intent, or lack of intent, is not the determining factor, it's the moves that he's making.

 

I change my behavior and I tell my friends to change their behavior so we do the things that guys who are "naturally" good with women do.

 

The guys who are "naturals" don't think about it, in their mind they're just "doing their thing." Really, their actions are the same as ours.

 

Ironically, the more you practice, the more "natural" it becomes until it becomes a part of you. The difference between us "new naturals" and the "natural naturals" is that we know what we did, we understand the process. The other guys are "just going with it." Sometimes they win, sometimes they lose, but they don't really know why.

 

But at the end of the day, the actions taken and the results received are the same.

 

Honest question, how do you not get too much in your own head doing this? Like when your talking to a girl and your consciously thinking "oh I have to behave this way or that"; how do you spontaneously act in these situations? Your saying it comes with practice, but still this seems like a recipe for disaster. It also sounds like you approach all interactions with women as if they are the ones who decide what happens..Like by saying you "know" why you lost you are saying theres a systematic way of getting a woman. interesting. Seems like this might work for a couple minutes, but then you would seriously be up in your own head too much. THats why Ive found meditation has helped me a ton in social situations. Im much more in the moment and not thinking too much.. Im also much less reactive and needy..But again I guess whatever works for you.

Edited January 3, 2014 by bax44

[bax44]

Its all about looks.

 

PUA stuff is nonsense.

 

DOnt think its ALL about looks..But confidence and honesty and not putting up with BS goes a long way too. PUA stuff is garbage I agree. Theres a huge difference between acting like youve got value to offer and actually knowing you have value to offer. If a dude realizes what hes worth, he probably has very little need for PUA stuff.

Edited January 3, 2014 by bax44

[BaguaKicksAss]

Its all about looks.

 

PUA stuff is nonsense.

 

Not quite...

 

Bagua

Then looks...

 

Seriously though, common interests are pretty big. Though usually the women are more into say yoga, or dance, or opera or whatever boring... I mean whatever their main *thing* is...

[mike 134]

I don't even know why ppl here are arguing with "Sloppy Zhang" Almost everything he says is true, and it works almost all the time. Why ? Because girls are by definition insecure creatures, they are in constant need of affirmation. If you put them down they feel the need to "compensate" by going after you, to prove themselves that they are worthy of you. And if you make them wait for this opportunity (by blowing them off, being busy with other things, etc), then all the better. Cause then they'll be even more desperate and insecure. But if you are too nice to girls, and give in to every demand, they see you as boring and unchallenging, and soon they will simply ignore you.

 

There are exceptions, of course. In my experience, very very hot girls (perfect 10's) are somewhat immune to douchebaggery. Why? Because douchebags are always approaching them, so they are used to it and build up a wall. And these girls and not insecure, if anything, most are pretty confident themselves, usually more confident than the guys who are slavishly approaching them. If you treat them poorly or blow them off, they'll just move on to the next guy. There's no shortage of guys lusting after them and they know it, so they won't waste their time with douchbag # 14 that approached them this week. If you want a 10, which is my goal, then you have to have the "complete package" (tall, good looking, smart, MONEY, and good personality). Being a douchebag is not part of that, not if you want a 10.

 

Books aren't going to work. Most girls are too stupid to read anything other than their facebook pages and gossip. In fact, anything that requires a lot of intelligence is not going to work on a girl. They are creatures of FEELING. You have to understand and exploit their emotions. Somebody who is able to do this will get much further than somebody who is intelligent but cannot arouse any emotion whatsoever. Girls don't think: "this guy has these positive qualities, and thus I will be attracted to him." No no no. They FEEL. And if they feel good around you (or rather, you MAKE them feel good around you), then she is yours.

 

EDIT: some of the above works in reverse too. Its called flaking. Girls do it all the time to me. And when they flake, instead of dropping them, I am MORE attracted. Cause you like more what you can't have. Right now its friday night and I'm supposed to go out with this chick I'm chasing. But she blew me off the last second so instead I am eating by myself and looking at porn. Should I forget about her and delete her number ? Yes. But will I? No. I'll come running back to her asking for another date !

Edited January 4, 2014 by mike 134

[Aetherous]

But confidence and honesty and not putting up with BS goes a long way too.

 

Putting up with BS goes a long way as well....lol!

[Sloppy Zhang]

Honest question, how do you not get too much in your own head doing this? Like when your talking to a girl and your consciously thinking "oh I have to behave this way or that"; how do you spontaneously act in these situations? Your saying it comes with practice, but still this seems like a recipe for disaster. It also sounds like you approach all interactions with women as if they are the ones who decide what happens..Like by saying you "know" why you lost you are saying theres a systematic way of getting a woman. interesting. Seems like this might work for a couple minutes, but then you would seriously be up in your own head too much. THats why Ive found meditation has helped me a ton in social situations. Im much more in the moment and not thinking too much.. Im also much less reactive and needy..But again I guess whatever works for you.

 

First, I'm a very smart guy so it's not too much for me.

 

Second, I've always been good at reading situations and people. I just never knew what to look for.

 

Third, practice You can even use the Taoist principle of "separate and combine." Maybe for one night, or one week, just practice approaching. Or just practice telling a good story. Or just practice asking the right questions. Or just practice inviting her to another bar, or dinner, or just asking for her number, or just meeting her friends. Something like that. Have a plan of something you want to emphasize, and do it.

 

Fourth, practice.

 

In my case, I had most of the right elements already. I was already good at talking to people and making them laugh and being good friends with them. My weaknesses were the initial approach, and escalating. I got "friend zoned" by a lot of girls but I never could tell when she wanted me to make the move. I was raised in a very feminist family. The stuff I've done to start dating some of the girls I've dated, mm, maybe mother would not approve? But the girls sure did

 

I'll say another thing-

 

The fact that you were an athlete says a lot about you.

 

One of my major eye opening experiences was playing basketball in high school. Damn did the girls CHASE me! Girls like athletes. For a lot of different reasons, I'm sure. But girls who I NEVER would have gotten on my own pursued ME because I was on the school sports team. Crazy!

 

(Unfortunately back then I didn't know how to handle that, I didn't know what to do, and didn't get the women I could have gotten back then... oh well, lessons learned!)

 

Boys who grow up playing sports, or are regular members of sports teams (and I mean like, school sports teams, where social status can be easily leveraged) learn whole different interactions with women because girls/women make themselves available to these boys/young men. The lessons they learn earlier are different and they become internalized.

 

Namely, that girls are approachable, girls like them, girls are easy to talk to. Plus they get lots of practice. These boys don't really have to *try* so they learn "just be yourself.*

 

Different from the mathlete kids, to be sure

[bax44]

First, I'm a very smart guy so it's not too much for me.

 

Second, I've always been good at reading situations and people. I just never knew what to look for.

 

Third, practice You can even use the Taoist principle of "separate and combine." Maybe for one night, or one week, just practice approaching. Or just practice telling a good story. Or just practice asking the right questions. Or just practice inviting her to another bar, or dinner, or just asking for her number, or just meeting her friends. Something like that. Have a plan of something you want to emphasize, and do it.

 

Fourth, practice.

Cool man. like I said if you found somethin that works and arent harming others then good stuff. I just know myself and if I started really trying to practice some of this stuff consciously it would really take me out of the moment and Id miss everything.

In my case, I had most of the right elements already. I was already good at talking to people and making them laugh and being good friends with them. My weaknesses were the initial approach, and escalating. I got "friend zoned" by a lot of girls but I never could tell when she wanted me to make the move. I was raised in a very feminist family. The stuff I've done to start dating some of the girls I've dated, mm, maybe mother would not approve? But the girls sure did

Hey Ive also lost girls by not escalating even when they were throwing all the signals at me. Usually it was because I just wasnt feeling it at the time.. and others because Im just an idiot. But I got better at it when I kind of just paid more attention to the moment. Im not saying im a huge ladies man..But I will say once I started accepting myself more-flaws and all and stopped caring so much about what every girl I met thought of me, I started attracting a lot more quality women. Thats what kind of bothers me about the PUA thing..its like all these dudes are kind of insecure and care so much what chicks think of them that they create all these elaborate ways to "get" them.Its too try hard, and the ironic thing is the less you try the better youll do in a way, at least to me. Two different approaches I suppose. I think our whole society is becoming too feminized. Its pretty obvious and its creating a lot of "nice guys" and is creating a huge sense of entitlement for younger girls who think they can get by because they have a vagina. I definitely hear you on this.

The fact that you were an athlete says a lot about you.

 

One of my major eye opening experiences was playing basketball in high school. Damn did the girls CHASE me! Girls like athletes. For a lot of different reasons, I'm sure. But girls who I NEVER would have gotten on my own pursued ME because I was on the school sports team. Crazy!

 

(Unfortunately back then I didn't know how to handle that, I didn't know what to do, and didn't get the women I could have gotten back then... oh well, lessons learned!)

 

Boys who grow up playing sports, or are regular members of sports teams (and I mean like, school sports teams, where social status can be easily leveraged) learn whole different interactions with women because girls/women make themselves available to these boys/young men. The lessons they learn earlier are different and they become internalized.

 

Namely, that girls are approachable, girls like them, girls are easy to talk to. Plus they get lots of practice. These boys don't really have to *try* so they learn "just be yourself.*

 

Different from the mathlete kids, to be sure

 

Well I think it can help for sure.. And because of my physical shape etc from sports/working out it definitely is good. But if someones a mathlete they should own it and be proud! I still say confidence is the most attractive trait and if the mathlete is passionate about his math skills he too can do well with the ladies in my opinion.

Edited January 4, 2014 by bax44

[Sloppy Zhang]

Well it was good talking to everyone

 

I'm going out for the weekend!!!!!!!!!!

[BaguaKicksAss]

Editing...

Edited January 4, 2014 by BaguaKicksAss

[Nungali]

 

 

Our society suffers from massive sexual dysfunction, is one thing that is clear as day.

Yep! Anyone ever get into Wilhelm Reich's work on this topic ( before he started shooting orgone canons at UFOs - he was quiet the insightful psychologists ... not to mention the father of modern day 'body work'.

 

“What has prevented the growth of Socialist consciousness amongst the working class even though the material conditions for the immediate establishment of Socialism have been in existence for at least three-quarters of a century? Why, when Socialism is so obviously in their interest, do workers continue to support and maintain capitalism? Why is the political behaviour of the working class so irrational?

 

For Wilhelm Reich the answer could be summed up in two words: sexual repression. In his view, the restric­tions on sexual activity imposed through the father-dominated family structure produced people dependent on authority and incapable of independent thought and action.”

 

http://www.worldsocialism.org/spgb/socialist-standard/1970s/1973/no-825-may-1973/sexual-politics-wilhelm-reich

 

Reich had a Socialist sexual revolution party going with vast membership, offering councilling and therapy from specially trained sex workers. Some places (like factories) installed clinics for their workers (as sick days decreased and production went up ).

 

He also became unpopular for classifying some men as impotent (as their orgasms were merley ejaculations, many had no ‘potent orgasmic’ experience – which according to Reich , releases physical blockages in the body which in turn create physical problems (hence the need for physical body work, acupressure and types of massage to release it). He also became unpopular by trying to explain to men the needs of their wives ( as he treated women as well and listened to their complaints) …. That made him a real sicko … in their books. “How dare you! My wife is quiet satisfied thankyou … we have 6 children ! “

Edited January 4, 2014 by Nungali

[Wells]

Well it was good talking to everyone

 

I'm going out for the weekend!!!!!!!!!!

Remember what you learned, young apprentice!

 

 

 

 

Edited January 4, 2014 by Dorian Black

[Nungali]

Another thread title change ?

 

Now she is having a go at me

 

 

Actually, I mean ....

 

http://img1.photographersdirect.com/img/3/wm/pd2379396.jpg

Edited January 4, 2014 by Nungali

[Aeran]

I wanna pick up a lizard person

[Captain Mar-Vell]

...

I read Reich, yeah.

 

Such a sad story.

...

[Unseen_Abilities]

-

Edited January 31, 2014 by Unseen_Abilities

[Captain Mar-Vell]

...

My wife was more, "wtf you believe in that insane rubbish and don't want to wear a suit and have a career in an office?!?.."

 

The next thing she did was get me committed, take out an injuction to prevent me returning home, and file for divorce.

 

Taking the home and kids I had looked after for ten years with no help from her, while she worked all hours at her super important well paid job as an economist with the government.

 

Fie on the er, system of mammon.

 

Yeah.

 

Sucks, huh?

 

I try not to be bitter.

 

Poem 4. Familiars.

 

Ironies abound.

 

I'm trying to learn to speak less and listen more.

 

I once claimed to have had the Ultimate Illumination of All the Buddha's and Boddhisatva's.

 

I told them I had an enlightenment experience like that of the historical buddha.

 

The psychiatrist scribbled down delusions of grandeur...

...

Edited January 4, 2014 by Captain Mar-Vell

[h.uriahr]

Crickets work great

[Unseen_Abilities]

-

Edited January 31, 2014 by Unseen_Abilities

[Captain Mar-Vell]

...

TS my good man, I got a lot to give to some lucky lady!

 

Ha ha ha!

 

I Great Sage Equal of Heaven!

 

You should watch me go!

 

One day.. one day...

...

[Unseen_Abilities]

-

Edited January 31, 2014 by Unseen_Abilities

[Nungali]

 

all right boys ... you do, of course realise. that it is SOME PEOPLE that are a problem, don't you ???

.... (god damn them bitches!)

[Captain Mar-Vell]

...

I adore and worship women and in no way hold them responsible for the enormous hardships and heartache they have wrought upon my kind and gentle soul.

 

They have also made my life worth living.

 

That's right.

 

Not a trace of misogyny in me.

 

I androgyne!

 

Hence I oracle!

 

You probably don't understand.

 

I do not speak ill of my wife.

 

She is a stronger and better person than I.

...

Edited January 4, 2014 by Captain Mar-Vell

[Marblehead]

As surprising as this may sound to some of this thread's readership, easiness doesn't appeal to me.

 

I'll let you make of that sentence what you will

I understand.

[suninmyeyes]

I don't even know why ppl here are arguing with "Sloppy Zhang" Almost everything he says is true, and it works almost all the time. Why ? Because girls are by definition insecure creatures, they are in constant need of affirmation. If you put them down they feel the need to "compensate" by going after you, to prove themselves that they are worthy of you. And if you make them wait for this opportunity (by blowing them off, being busy with other things, etc), then all the better. Cause then they'll be even more desperate and insecure. But if you are too nice to girls, and give in to every demand, they see you as boring and unchallenging, and soon they will simply ignore you.

 

There are exceptions, of course. In my experience, very very hot girls (perfect 10's) are somewhat immune to douchebaggery. Why? Because douchebags are always approaching them, so they are used to it and build up a wall. And these girls and not insecure, if anything, most are pretty confident themselves, usually more confident than the guys who are slavishly approaching them. If you treat them poorly or blow them off, they'll just move on to the next guy. There's no shortage of guys lusting after them and they know it, so they won't waste their time with douchbag # 14 that approached them this week. If you want a 10, which is my goal, then you have to have the "complete package" (tall, good looking, smart, MONEY, and good personality). Being a douchebag is not part of that, not if you want a 10.

 

Books aren't going to work. Most girls are too stupid to read anything other than their facebook pages and gossip. In fact, anything that requires a lot of intelligence is not going to work on a girl. They are creatures of FEELING. You have to understand and exploit their emotions. Somebody who is able to do this will get much further than somebody who is intelligent but cannot arouse any emotion whatsoever. Girls don't think: "this guy has these positive qualities, and thus I will be attracted to him." No no no. They FEEL. And if they feel good around you (or rather, you MAKE them feel good around you), then she is yours.

 

EDIT: some of the above works in reverse too. Its called flaking. Girls do it all the time to me. And when they flake, instead of dropping them, I am MORE attracted. Cause you like more what you can't have. Right now its friday night and I'm supposed to go out with this chick I'm chasing. But she blew me off the last second so instead I am eating by myself and looking at porn. Should I forget about her and delete her number ? Yes. But will I? No. I'll come running back to her asking for another date !

Where is my DISLIKE button ??

[3bob]

us men do stupid things towards women when we forget they are spirits first, souls second, mind and heart third, human fourth, and female fifth... (that is only a general order, and sure there are other layers just like for us guys)