BKA's guide on how to pickup women.... and lizard people

[shamanu]

More funny dating talk... I had this friend.. this was about 20 years ago he tried this... he was convinced that if he walked up to 100 women per day and asked them if they would like to go home with him, at least 1 would go for it. Yes he did get slapped a few times lolololol.

 

[BaguaKicksAss]

The first response for the woman asking was hilarious!

 

1 in 10 chance if you are a chick and you ask a guy for sex the police will be called ROFL.

 

PS the guys she asked were most definitely not as stereotypically as attractive as she prob is... not even close... so slightly biased the numbers.

 

Though it's pretty obvious a woman would have an easier time at this, since women like to get to know someone at least a bit first.... (guys not so much?)

 

Btw, if you guys try this, it would prob work better one on one . Er also perhaps the 5th sentence instead of the first...

 

Edit: sooo going to send this to a couple of people I know.

 

 

OK sooo, my facebook query of my friends in their 20's returned the following results. You guys are right *sigh*.

 

 

 

2 of the most awesome sweetest guys I know answered too! Telling me their past experiences. They both said yes it works. One gave up that approach, then met his wife, but said it worked great before then. The other said he tried that a few times and it worked, but doesn't like trying to be someone he isn't, so he scrapped that approach. Still gets hit on though from what he's mentioned a few times. This is a very small selective sample, but at least lets me know that TTBs isn't just weird or something.

 

PS, I'm off to join a nunnery and try for 365 days of cultivation... .

 

Speaking of facebook, I'll just end with this that I found posted:

 

http://www.wikihow.com/Recognize-a-Potentially-Abusive-Relationship

 

So says author Toni Bentley, "There is virtually no female sexual problem -- hormonal, menopausal, orgasmic, or just plain ol' lack of interest -- that will not be solved by **ta da** a new lover."

 

Agree or disagree?

 

According to Dr Marta Meana http://www.unlv.edu/people/marta-meana , being desired is the real female orgasm. As per the research findings of this Dean, men often fantasizes about giving satisfaction, not on receiving it, that men somehow feel more complete if they have the 'magic touch' where they have this super ability to bring a woman to orgasm. Should this theory be close to the truth, then men are really not that selfish after all, something which has been overly and overtly suggested across the great divide.

 

Men want to excite women, period. Women? They want to be excited by men. Problem solved. Women get what they want, while the men pines for the next lover to bring them ultimate erotic pleasure.

 

Silly men.

 

 

(the above are not my views, btw. I just found it interesting, coming from a learned female professor of psychology)

 

 

 

I disagree with her first point you mentioned. While I'm sure it could be fun and/or entertaining if that's what you're into, it isn't going to change or solve anything. Everyone (men and women) think that someone new will solve everything, or solve one thing. Nope, just a distraction for awhile, so we can ignore the actual problem. Most sexual problems are both people based, not just one half of the couple...

 

Now that second part though, about the man wanting to please and that being really important, I would definitely agree to that one, from personal experience. However... now that I think about it, I have heard some pretty bad complaints from some of my women friends... I think this might be in the minority though.

 

 

 

[johndoe2012]

What about asking God for a lover?

[Sloppy Zhang]

 

 

 

PS the guys she asked were most definitely not as stereotypically as attractive as she prob is... not even close... so slightly biased the numbers.

 

This is interesting. From what I saw, the guys she asked were pretty equally represented from all levels of attractiveness. She asked some stereotypically good looking guys (tall, muscular), she asked some short, shrimpy guys, she asked some average height/averaged weight guys, some heavier people, a questionably gay guy, and an alternative guy.

 

The only guys who said "no" were the guys in relationships or who might have been gay.

 

The guys who laughed at her were laughing in disbelief that a girl (a fairly good looking one at that!) was approaching THEM for sex!

 

They agreed because, well, a pretty girl wants to have sex with them!

 

One kid was like "I hope I'm not getting robbed" but STILL went with her because girls never approach guys for sex!

 

Conversely, when the guy asked those girls, they all laughed at him because they knew he was NEVER going to get any from them!

 

Interestingly, the guy was not an unattractive guy. If he had run a bit of "game", flirted a bit, started a conversation, went for a number, kept talking, he could have easily gotten a kiss/makeout from several of the girls, could have invited them out for drinks, back to his place, and could have actually had sex with a few of them.

 

A few of the girls did admit that he was attractive, and none of them were hostile to his initial approach. So for any guys watching, the takeaway is not "don't approach women.". The takeaway is also not "don't ask a direct question"- many of the girls asked him to qualify his question, and it's only after he was adamant that he was JUST asking for sex did they tell him "no."

 

Do approach women, and don't be afraid of asking a bold opening question, because most of them will give you a shot. If you don't act in a way they'll like, they won't have sex with you, even if they would have sex with you in different circumstances.

[Creation]

OK sooo, my facebook query of my friends in their 20's returned the following results. You guys are right *sigh*.

 

What have we done to create such a horribly sick society. I'm 24, and have felt sexual longings intensely from a very young age. Yet I remain a virgin, disgusted with this society, seemingly more with each passing day. When I got into personal development, I decided to take responsibility for my own situation and commit to doing the work of overcoming my own repressive upbringing, low self-esteem, fear of intimacy, etc. that I figured must be the cause of my being in one of the most reviled situations for a modern young man to be in: still being a virgin in your twenties. But now that I am years into this work I have come to the conclusion that it wasn't just me, it's them. It's this society, this zoo, this reality, whatever you want to call it.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYL28a0LM_A

 

By eroding all the old conventions about sex, marriage, and gender roles without having something sensible to take their place, the vaccuum has been filled with something horrible, a freakish monster borne of all the lower aspects of human nature.

 

If you view things entirely from a primal ("lower chakra" to use new age jargon) standpoint, being nice is seen as weak, supplicating and needy, whearas not being nice signals non-neediness, confidence, and dominant. This kind of thing still shows up in some aspects of human interaction; I have just seen some examples in the world of Asian politics. Now, a man trying to have a one night stand with a woman who is willing to have one night stands with men is such a primal interaction. Being less nice translating to more success in such an endeavor is not new; Richard Feynman tells a story about this in "Surely You're Joking Mr. Feynman" which occurred in the 40s.

 

Now, a long time ago was the "No sex until marriage paradigm", which gave way to the "No sex without love" or "No sex without commitment" paradigm (late 60s through 80s, perhaps?). In the 90s and especially 2000's it is the "Sex is primary, other stuff is secondary" paradigm, even if there are some residual notions of "I'll make him take me on a few dates first to not seem like a slut". What seems to be the case is in the "Sex is primary" paradigm, what triggers sexual attraction are those things that appeal to the more base, primal aspects of people, with other characteristics only becoming relevant after you've hooked up a few times and want to consider a more serious relationship. There are no "gates" to pass through on the way to sex that would filter out guys lacking higher qualities.

 

Now part of me thinks, "Finally, humanity has stopped repressing their sexuality, now their are so many new opportunities for different kinds of human interactions that would not have been available even 50 years ago." But alas, there is a reason we tell children not to play with fire. People just shuffling along at the whim of their most base instincts is completely rotting this society from the inside out. Like Agent Smith, I can smell it and feel saturated by it and disgusted by it.

 

It seems to me that way out is realizing that sexuality can involve the higher aspects of people without recourse to the old paradigms of sexual relationship. Thesis, Antithesis, Synthesis: Primal paradigm of sex, Rule-Based paradigm of sex, Higher paradigm of sex. What our society has done is backslide from Rule-Based to Primal.

 

Taoists and Tantrics figured out the higher paradigm thousands of years ago, but they had to operate in secret because most people weren't ready for it. Maybe they still aren't.

[Sloppy Zhang]

 

What have we done to create such a horribly sick society. I'm 24, and have felt sexual longings intensely from a very young age. Yet I remain a virgin, disgusted with this society, seemingly more with each passing day. When I got into personal development, I decided to take responsibility for my own situation and commit to doing the work of overcoming my own repressive upbringing, low self-esteem, fear of intimacy, etc. that I figured must be the cause of my being in one of the most reviled situations for a modern young man to be in: still being a virgin in your twenties. But now that I am years into this work I have come to the conclusion that it wasn't just me, it's them. It's this society, this zoo, this reality, whatever you want to call it.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYL28a0LM_A

 

By eroding all the old conventions about sex, marriage, and gender roles without having something sensible to take their place, the vaccuum has been filled with something horrible, a freakish monster borne of all the lower aspects of human nature.

 

If you view things entirely from a primal ("lower chakra" to use new age jargon) standpoint, being nice is seen as weak, supplicating and needy, whearas not being nice signals non-neediness, confidence, and dominant. This kind of thing still shows up in some aspects of human interaction; I have just seen some examples in the world of Asian politics. Now, a man trying to have a one night stand with a woman who is willing to have one night stands with men is such a primal interaction. Being less nice translating to more success in such an endeavor is not new; Richard Feynman tells a story about this in "Surely You're Joking Mr. Feynman" which occurred in the 40s.

 

Now, a long time ago was the "No sex until marriage paradigm", which gave way to the "No sex without love" or "No sex without commitment" paradigm (late 60s through 80s, perhaps?). In the 90s and especially 2000's it is the "Sex is primary, other stuff is secondary" paradigm, even if there are some residual notions of "I'll make him take me on a few dates first to not seem like a slut". What seems to be the case is in the "Sex is primary" paradigm, what triggers sexual attraction are those things that appeal to the more base, primal aspects of people, with other characteristics only becoming relevant after you've hooked up a few times and want to consider a more serious relationship. There are no "gates" to pass through on the way to sex that would filter out guys lacking higher qualities.

 

Now part of me thinks, "Finally, humanity has stopped repressing their sexuality, now their are so many new opportunities for different kinds of human interactions that would not have been available even 50 years ago." But alas, there is a reason we tell children not to play with fire. People just shuffling along at the whim of their most base instincts is completely rotting this society from the inside out. Like Agent Smith, I can smell it and feel saturated by it and disgusted by it.

 

It seems to me that way out is realizing that sexuality can involve the higher aspects of people without recourse to the old paradigms of sexual relationship. Thesis, Antithesis, Synthesis: Primal paradigm of sex, Rule-Based paradigm of sex, Higher paradigm of sex. What our society has done is backslide from Rule-Based to Primal.

 

Taoists and Tantrics figured out the higher paradigm thousands of years ago, but they had to operate in secret because most people weren't ready for it. Maybe they still aren't.

 

Sexuality is determined by culture. Which has changed.

 

You can't play by the old rules in the modern day. You'll lose every time. Or at the very least, you'll be losing until you find someone else who's playing the same game.

 

Learn the rules of the modern game. There are good people out there, there are good women out there. They're just playing by a different set of rules.

 

Once you can both speak the same language, life gets a lot better. Trust me, I was heading in the same direction as you were not too long ago.

 

Then I learned the rules. My interactions with women started to be a lot better. I became a lot happier. I got my first girlfriend. Life just seemed to keep getting better.

 

Yeah, it's a different language and a different set of rules. You can learn them and win the game. Or you can keep losing and feel like shit.

[Captain Mar-Vell]

...

And you're only 24?

 

Jeez.

 

You wise boy, Creation!

 

Please God you'll meet a rewarding soul mate soon, eh?

 

I'm laughin' now at somethin' I thought, but I ain't typin' it..

...

Edited January 5, 2014 by Captain Mar-Vell

[Creation]

You sure are self satisfied Zhang.

 

I no longer want to win that game. I no longer feel like being a 24 year old virgin is "losing the game". I realized that what I truly wanted was to carve out my own path toward sexual fulfillment, and not settle for someone else's idea of what should be done or how.

 

By the way, I did learn the rules of the game. Believe me, I studied a great deal of dating and seduction advice. Even though I have chosen to remain still a virgin, in the past three months I have turned down a reasonably attractive girl who was all over me and been on a date with a fantastically attractive woman who was really in to me. And that's from the one social activity I participate in (swing dance), and I did nothing in particular to pursue them. I don't have game, but I am not completely clueless with women.

 

I admit that this only happened because of what I studied. Here is something I found from my research, if you are interested: not all seduction teachers use the "be a douchebag" paradigm. There are other ways. It's great that you are happier using the douchebag paradigm and getting laid than not getting laid. But it makes me somewhat sad that you are telling everyone else to do the same thing. If you ever decide you want to know a different way, it's out there.

Edited January 5, 2014 by Creation

[Sloppy Zhang]

You sure are self satisfied Zhang.

 

I no longer want to win that game. I no longer feel like being a 24 year old virgin is "losing the game". I realized that what I truly wanted was to carve out my own path toward sexual fulfillment, and not settle for someone else's idea of what should be done or how.

 

By the way, I did learn the rules of the game. Believe me, I studied a great deal of dating and seduction advice. Even though I have chosen to remain still a virgin, in the past three months I have turned down a reasonably attractive girl who was all over me and been on a date with a fantastically attractive woman who was really in to me. And that's from the one social activity I participate in (swing dance), and I did nothing in particular to pursue them. I don't have game, but I am not completely clueless with women.

 

I admit that this only happened because of what I studied. Here is something I found from my research, if you are interested: not all seduction teachers use the "be a douchebag" paradigm. There are other ways. It's great that you are happier using the douchebag paradigm and getting laid than not getting laid. But it makes me somewhat sad that you are telling everyone else to do the same thing. If you ever decide you want to know a different way, it's out there.

 

Er, um, I don't believe in getting laid just for the sake of being laid, and I don't teach "be a douchebag" paradigm

 

I know that sometimes it's easier to simplify other peoples' arguments so they fit into our own paradigms, though.

 

Also, my posts do tend to be on the long side, so I understand that many people in the threads I've participated in seem to skim them, hear the words "douchebag," "asshole," "bad boy," "chicks," "laid," "sex" and decide to fill in the argument for me, again using their own paradigm.

 

I can't say I'm completely self satisfied. There's a lot I can do better in my life.

 

But I'm a hell of a lot more satisfied now than I was having sour grapes and complaining about my virginity and how annoying and dumb women/society/other guys/whatever are.

[bax44]

If your whole existence is predicated and constantly needing approval of the opposite sex, and you've built up sex in your mind to be the end all be all of human existence, then yeah following any type of routine and participating in the "modern game" becomes a necessity. As I've said before, once your truly happy w your self, lack insecurity and neediness, these "rules" and games really stop applying to you and suddenly you exude the traits women look for anyway, because your neediness is .. Gone . I suppose on certain sites they would call it having "inner game", where you don't need to rely on all these things you r disgusted by..Working on yourself and becoming the best version of yourself will shine through and women can feel this, and its much more genuine cuz your not faking it. Creation you are on the right track.. Notice how you said you had very attractive women coming to you.. Without trying. Funny how that works, and it's a more permanent solution than following the herd and doing things your not comfortable with. FYI , I feel exactly as you do, and am kind of disgusted at what I've seen/heard in the last few years regarding this subject.. Which begs the question about how the Internet had skewed everyone's perceptions about sexuality/dating, Etc. it's such a toxic environment.. Go read any pua forum. Or even you can find female versions of pua tactics(the rules,etc).. It's a very manipulative discouraging thing... But as you said, there's another way. It can be risen above, especially once you get rid of the need for approval.. Which is the sickness that drives all(not all but a good percentage) the pua's etc to try these things. It's all about not feeling good enough. Once you do, you are neo:) but trust yourself- if all this stuff deep down feels wrong then there's a reason for that.

Edited January 5, 2014 by bax44

[Sloppy Zhang]

The matrix analogies (agent smith, being neo, rising above, etc) are all incredibly interesting and a bit ironic to me.

 

Agent Smith was a program created by the machines to enslave and exploit humanity. He feel disgusted by humanity because he is *not* human.

 

One should not strive to be like Agent Smith in the real world. It makes me sad that Creation identifies with Agent Smith. Because to be on Agent Smith's side is to be against your own humanity.

 

The human world (in the Matrix films) is dirty, disgusting, cold, and violent, but ultimately more desirable than the fake "paradise" of the Matrix. Humans would rather exist in a dirty and imperfect world of their own design than a perfect falsehood created by others. (Smith reveals that the first Matrix was a paradise and failed, humans naturally tend to gravitate toward suffering, we like the struggle, we like accomplishment)

 

Humans are flighty, selfish, disgusting creatures. But we are also beautiful in our own imperfections. The more girls I "game", the more they open up to me in ways they would never open up to either "nice guys" (who don't know how to manage transitions between different states) or "douchebags" (who only know how to push for what they want). And I'm not just talking about physically opening- mentally, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually. My appreciation for women (and their appreciation for me) has grown dramatically because I have actually studied and learned (from men and women) how women think and behave and what they look at in relationships.

 

Neo is also not the goal. Why? Because Neo has to go into the Matrix to be Neo. Neo has to subject himself to the fake world. Why do you want to be king of the fakes?

 

Likewise, why would I want to sequester myself on a mountain, in a monastery, or inside of my own mind just so I can be the "one" and a master of my own little tiny realm? That's a sure fire way to be the only "one" in your life.

 

That is not mastery, it is not transcendence. It is plugging yourself into a world where you can make your own rules and calling that transcendence.

 

Let's snap back to reality.

 

Oh, there goes gravity!

Edited January 5, 2014 by Sloppy Zhang

[bax44]

Wow you took that totally the wrong way. You are still kind of insisting that your way of doing things is the only way, sloppy zhang. The guy pretty much said it doesnt work for him etc. If he feels its not right and is disgusted by it, then yes in his reality, "rising above it" is a perfect analogy. Where In my post did I recommend that anyone "sequester themselves away in a monestary"..Lol you sure have a way of taking things and totally changing what the person meant to fit your agument. You are taking the matrix analogy far too literal. Please try and re read it without the bias.

Edited January 5, 2014 by bax44

[Sloppy Zhang]

Wow you took that totally the wrong way. You are still kind of insisting that your way of doing things is the only way, sloppy zhang. The guy pretty much said it doesnt work for him etc. If he feels its not right and is disgusted by it, then yes in his reality, "rising above it" is a perfect analogy. Where In my post did I recommend that anyone "sequester themselves away in a monestary"..Lol you sure have a way of taking things and totally changing what the person meant to fit your agument. You are taking the matrix analogy far too literal. Please try and re read it without the bias.

 

Creation talks a lot about being a "24 year old virgin."

 

Does that sound like someone who is liberated, or on the path to liberation to you?

 

Because to me it sounds like someone who is fixated on sex and insecure about not getting laid.

 

My advice to someone like that?

 

Fuck spirituality. Get laid.

 

Get to the root of the problem and fix it. Don't pretend like you're rising above anything.

Edited January 5, 2014 by Sloppy Zhang

[bax44]

Pick one of Creation's posts and count the number of times he uses the word "virgin". Or "24 year old virgin."

 

Does that sound like someone who is liberated, or on the path to liberation to you?

Ah so here we have it. So in your reality anyone whos not sexually very experienced isnt "liberated"? Very interesting. and quite telling.

Because to me it sounds like someone who is fixated on sex and insecure about not getting laid.

Where in his posts did it sound like he was "fixated" on sex. The dude also said he had attractive women all over him without trying. He also said hes CHOSEN to remain a virgin. Id say he doesnt have a huge problem. He apparently doesnt place the extreme importance in sex as you do. Im not sure why thats a problem.

My advice to someone like that?

 

Fuck spirituality. Get laid.

Then what?

Get to the root of the problem and fix it. Don't pretend like you're rising above anything.

Who said it was even a problem? He says he doesnt like the way things have evolved(or devolved) in male female interaction. And guess what? he can get laid without resorting to the things he is personally disgusted by. I think this is what you are failing to realize. Not everyone HAS to do these things to "get laid" or get a relationship, etc.

Edited January 5, 2014 by bax44

[Creation]

baxx44, I am glad you understood my meaning. One exception though: I am fixated on sex. It's kind of hard not to be. Like I said, I'm trying to carve out my own path to sexual fulfillment. And I am still very much a beginner on the path. After all, I don't plan on remaining a virgin forever.

 

Slopps, I do not identify with Agent Smith as a character. There is no Matrix "analogy". I just like that monolgue. It is the best expression of utter disgust I have seen on film. Also, I talk about being a 24 year old virgin because even though I have come to peace about it within myself, I am still painfully aware of the stigma attached to it, and I am practicing not being ashamed of it. So yes, there is still an issue there, but not the one you think. Yes I had similar issues to the ones you had, but I have chosen a different path than you, and not once have I condemned you for the path you've followed.

Edited January 5, 2014 by Creation

[Sloppy Zhang]

Ah so here we have it. So in your reality anyone whos not sexually very experienced isnt "liberated"? Very interesting. and quite telling.

 

Nice try, but that's not the thought process.

 

If sex isn't your thing, it isn't your thing.

 

But coming into a thread bemoaning the current state of sexual affairs and then stating that you're a 24 year old virgin and most people think that's kind of weird but you're toooooootally okay with it, yup, nothing to see here, just another 24 year old virgin who's completely okay with being a virgin in this hyper sexualized society that I don't even want to be a part of.

 

Hm, what's that phrase? "the lady doth protest too much"?

 

Where in his posts did it sound like he was "fixated" on sex. The dude also said he had attractive women all over him without trying. Id say he doesnt have a huge problem. He apparently doesnt place the extreme importance in sex as you do. Im not sure why thats a problem.

 

You know what man, you're right. Totally right. Absolutely. Yup. I missed it big time.

 

Then what?

 

Then on to the next issue.

 

Or maybe he doesn't have any other issues, and after he gets laid he'll be totally enlightened. Wouldn't that be swell?

 

I don't know man, everyone is different.

 

Who said it was even a problem? He says he doesnt like the way things have evolved(or devolved) in male female interaction. And guess what? he can get laid without resorting to the things he is personally disgusted by. I think this is what you are failing to realize. Not everyone HAS to do these things to "get laid" or get a relationship, etc.

 

Yeah, man, you're right. He's a 24 year old virgin by choice. Yup. That's why he's so totally okay with it. Because the way he's been interacting with women has been 100% successful and it's HIS choice that's kept him a virgin until age 24, which he is obviously totally okay with, as evidenced by his statements in this thread.

 

You're right man, I get way too analytical sometimes. You really helped me out.

 

[edit]

 

I see your post above Creation.

 

I truly hope you come to peace in whatever way you find the best.

 

However, since we've both been around TTB's, I do hope you can accept my sincerest opinions outlined above.

 

Maybe accepting sex and, dare I say it, going for it is the better spiritual act for you.

 

But then again, maybe it isn't.

 

Only you can know. I hope that you are brutally honest in everything you do.

Edited January 5, 2014 by Sloppy Zhang

[bax44]

Sloppy, the point he was making was he was disgusted with the way everyone is telling him to go about getting women. You seemed to have changed it into him having some kind of issue because hes a virgin at 24, and therefore just "needs to get laid". He said hes chosen to do so(remain a virgin), why would anyone pretend this is a problem with him? Regardless, my whole point was if he really IS frustrated, he doesnt have to take the route of things that makes him feel uncomfortable. I think thats where you and I are having a disagreement, because Wether he needs to get laid right now or not is irrelevant to me, as it should be, because hes saying he is choosing to remain a virgin.If you want to psychoanalyze someone through a computer screen, be my guest;however I wouldnt ever presume to be so arrogant. All I wanted him to know was there are others who feel the same way he does, and that there are many other ways of being with women than the ways he personally doesnt like. simple as that.

Edited January 5, 2014 by bax44

[BaguaKicksAss]

Sexuality is determined by culture. Which has changed.

 

You can't play by the old rules in the modern day. You'll lose every time. Or at the very least, you'll be losing until you find someone else who's playing the same game.

 

Learn the rules of the modern game. There are good people out there, there are good women out there. They're just playing by a different set of rules.

 

Once you can both speak the same language, life gets a lot better. Trust me, I was heading in the same direction as you were not too long ago.

 

Then I learned the rules. My interactions with women started to be a lot better. I became a lot happier. I got my first girlfriend. Life just seemed to keep getting better.

 

Yeah, it's a different language and a different set of rules. You can learn them and win the game. Or you can keep losing and feel like shit.

 

Being one of those folks who goes for single over playing some games and someone I'm not....

 

However, if I was in my early 20's and still a virgin, who knows. Back then I hadn't figured out the games or acting different if I wanted to yet.

 

Though I've also turned down jobs where I'd have to be someone I'm not, so I figure I'm a little odd this way, and I also figure I'm perhaps lucky to be self employed, and still get dates from time to time .

[bax44]

Being one of those folks who goes for single over playing some games and someone I'm not....

 

However, if I was in my early 20's and still a virgin, who knows. Back then I hadn't figured out the games or acting different if I wanted to yet.

 

Though I've also turned down jobs where I'd have to be someone I'm not, so I figure I'm a little odd this way, and I also figure I'm perhaps lucky to be self employed, and still get dates from time to time .

It kind of goes back to what I was wondering about the internets impact on all this..Like if you were in your 20s right now, you could be reading things on the internet,etc that would be giving you advice like this..Begs the question if it would have totally changed the way you approached dating, etc. Your core nature seems to be not following this type of advece, but you are even wondering now how it would be if you were in your 20s..just goes to show the potential impact of social conditioning on people. I find it interesting.

 

edit- and yes there is some genuinely good stuff on the internet about it, i dont mean to imply that. However, there are a multitude more of sites that pretty much act like men and women are not even the same species, and is coming from an angle of almost hatred..

Edited January 6, 2014 by bax44

[BaguaKicksAss]

If your whole existence is predicated and constantly needing approval of the opposite sex, and you've built up sex in your mind to be the end all be all of human existence, then yeah following any type of routine and participating in the "modern game" becomes a necessity. As I've said before, once your truly happy w your self, lack insecurity and neediness, these "rules" and games really stop applying to you and suddenly you exude the traits women look for anyway, because your neediness is .. Gone . I suppose on certain sites they would call it having "inner game", where you don't need to rely on all these things you r disgusted by..Working on yourself and becoming the best version of yourself will shine through and women can feel this, and its much more genuine cuz your not faking it. Creation you are on the right track.. Notice how you said you had very attractive women coming to you.. Without trying. Funny how that works, and it's a more permanent solution than following the herd and doing things your not comfortable with. FYI , I feel exactly as you do, and am kind of disgusted at what I've seen/heard in the last few years regarding this subject.. Which begs the question about how the Internet had skewed everyone's perceptions about sexuality/dating, Etc. it's such a toxic environment.. Go read any pua forum. Or even you can find female versions of pua tactics(the rules,etc).. It's a very manipulative discouraging thing... But as you said, there's another way. It can be risen above, especially once you get rid of the need for approval.. Which is the sickness that drives all(not all but a good percentage) the pua's etc to try these things. It's all about not feeling good enough. Once you do, you are neo:) but trust yourself- if all this stuff deep down feels wrong then there's a reason for that.

 

Your post reminds me of something, women can definitely "feel" when a guy is really desperate or trying to get laid really badly... I mean even non psychic women. Seriously some folks put off that vibe. I think it might be like guys can sense a really clingy and needy woman somehow before even a word is spoken.

 

Btw, good points.

[BaguaKicksAss]

One thing this entire thread has made me think of a few times...

 

Like attracts like.

[BaguaKicksAss]

baxx44, I am glad you understood my meaning. One exception though: I am fixated on sex. It's kind of hard not to be. Like I said, I'm trying to carve out my own path to sexual fulfillment. And I am still very much a beginner on the path. After all, I don't plan on remaining a virgin forever.

 

Slopps, I do not identify with Agent Smith as a character. There is no Matrix "analogy". I just like that monolgue. It is the best expression of utter disgust I have seen on film. Also, I talk about being a 24 year old virgin because even though I have come to peace about it within myself, I am still painfully aware of the stigma attached to it, and I am practicing not being ashamed of it. So yes, there is still an issue there, but not the one you think. Yes I had similar issues to the ones you had, but I have chosen a different path than you, and not once have I condemned you for the path you've followed.

 

I think the whole stigma against men being virgins and women being "sluts" is just stupid. (or even the other way around on the rare occasion).

 

As long as everyone is enjoying where they are at, or making it work for them who cares? Last I checked it is usually cults and religions who try to tell someone else how much or little sex to have.

 

PS, get in all that secret qigong/neigong stuff in while you can .

[BaguaKicksAss]

It kind of goes back to what I was wondering about the internets impact on all this..Like if you were in your 20s right now, you could be reading things on the internet,etc that would be giving you advice like this..Begs the question if it would have totally changed the way you approached dating, etc. Your core nature seems to be not following this type of advece, but you are even wondering now how it would be if you were in your 20s..just goes to show the potential impact of social conditioning on people. I find it interesting.

 

edit- and yes there is some genuinely good stuff on the internet about it, i dont mean to imply that. However, there are a multitude more of sites that pretty much act like men and women are not even the same species, and is coming from an angle of almost hatred..

 

I don't even read instruction manuals for items I buy, never have .

 

In my 20's, not like I couldn't go take a book out on such things, or that my girlfriends didn't give me some (what I felt was) horrid advice... though tbh, I'm not the best example lol. Some of my friends might have tried out lame internet advice had the internet been more widely used back then.

 

But thinking back to my 20's... well you probably mean if I was a 20 year old male. OK I see the point about how it's uhm a little easier for women. However if a woman wants more than a one night stand, just as difficult as guys trying to get dates. For a woman it's more about trying to spot the one night stand guys a mile away, so as to avoid them (unless that is what you are after that night). Some of my friends didn't learn as quickly and were in tears far too often .

[Sloppy Zhang]

Sloppy, the point he was making was he was disgusted with the way everyone is telling him to go about getting women. You seemed to have changed it into him having some kind of issue because hes a virgin at 24, and therefore just "needs to get laid".

 

This may surprise you, but sometimes the issue on the surface is not actually the main issue.

 

I prefer to cut through the bullshit.

 

Being one of those folks who goes for single over playing some games and someone I'm not....

 

This, this is exactly the thing I've been arguing AGAINST.

 

Do you speak to your friends the same as you speak to your boss? Your grandmother? Your 4 year old niece?

 

No. Is that "playing games" and "being someone you're not"?

 

No.

 

Why is speaking differently to a woman you are attracted to and who you want to start a relationship with suddenly "playing games" and "being someone you're not"? How is it any different than the way we modulate our behavior in any other social situation?

 

Serious question.

 

I have given my own opinions on these questions. Seems like they were ignored. Since they make the posts too long, I'll just leave the question out there.

 

I need to go meet up with a girl I'm "gaming." Peace.

[bax44]

This may surprise you, but sometimes the issue on the surface is not actually the main issue.

 

I prefer to cut through the bullshit.

Ok Dr.Phil

I need to go meet up with a girl I'm "gaming." Peace.

Go get her tiger.