BKA's guide on how to pickup women.... and lizard people

[Brian]

Here's a couple of things which haven't been mentioned so far in this thread...

 

Guys I know have mentioned an increase of female attention when they are either doing the whole semen retention thing (talk about bad timing lol), or when they up their qigong or neigong practice.

 

Likewise I have noticed much more male attention when I up my qigong, neigong or magical practice.

Absolutely! People notice when your inner light is shining.

 

Curiously, I am reminded of Castle Anthrax:

 

 

 

 

[Creation]

This is actually cathartic for me: getting all these ideas that have been bouncing around in my head out into the open, so that in actual social settings I can just be in the moment. I appreciate having the space to do this. To continue the process, I would like to give an outline of what I thought was useful and valuable from the dating/seduction advice I have consumed. Doing these things will make you a better person and facilitate better relationships will all people, success with women is an afterthought. That's why I think it is so valuable. It's personal development disguised as dating advice. I present it as an alternative to the "be a douchebag" paradigm.

1. The basic idea: Authentic Interaction
-Authentic implies "agenda fee" - being in the moment, not trying to get validation or a particular outcome
-Also implies not contrived and done from a place of integrity within yourself, unlike most pick up advice
1.a. Be yourself
-Often fails because people are too afraid or ashamed to really be themselves, especially around attractive members of the opposite sex
-Also fails because you are totally lame, which leads us to
1.b. Bring value to the interaction
-Work on yourself to be a high quality person. There are external factors that people perceive as valuable like money, looks, etc. Then there are internal factors like confidence, passion, and knowing how to make the people around you feel good

2. Self-work for fulfilling interactions
2a. Get in touch with yourself, with your experience in the present moment. What are you feeling in the moment? What do you want share with the person you are interacting with in the moment?
2.b. Get in touch with emotion
-Do the work on yourself to learn to feel emotions, to release stagnant negative emotions (shame, fear, low self-esteem, etc. are big for interactions with the opposite sex) and cultivate positive emotions (relaxed confidence, assertive confidence, happiness, playfulness, arousal, etc.)
2.c. Get in touch with how emotion expresses physically
-Four types of non-verbal communication: Body language, eye contact, facial expression, vocal tonality
-Practice communicating confidence, playfulness, arousal etc. through your body, eyes, face, and vocal tone

2.d. Become aware of your beliefs about and emotional reactions toward being social, talking to people, having relationships with people, attractive women, having sex, etc. Any negative emotional reactions or beliefs about these subjects will be obstacles to fulfilling interactions. Do the necessary work to release such negativity.

3. Actual Interactions
3.a. There are 3 levels attraction takes places on: social, personal, sexual
-Skipping social or personal and only focusing on sexual will make you seem like a creep, unless you are in a highly sexualized environment. Skipping sexual will get you in the friend-zone
3.b. You want your emotions which are coming through your non-verbal communication to communicate:
-Relaxed confidence, happiness, playfulness for social attraction
-Genuine interest and curiosity, wonder, appreciation, etc. for personal attraction
-Unapologetic desire and arousal for sexual attraction
-In keeping with the authentic interaction philosophy, none of this should be contrived. Try to find these things within yourself instead of faking them to follow a script.
3.c. Being aware of the physical and emotional in the moment not only gets you in touch with yourself, but allows you to get in touch with her.
-For seduction in particular, you can determine what she is receptive to by paying attention to her non-verbal reactions. If she is verbally saying "No" but her non-verbal communication is saying "Yes", consider not giving up. Of course, always be respectful, but if a woman is interested underneath the facade she may be putting up for a number of reasons, she will appreciate if you can see past it and are willing to pursue.
3.d. Two other relevant things are what you are actually saying and physical escalation (touching, kissing, etc.)
-For conversation, get curious about her and use the little bits of information she says to find new topics, especially if they seem to have an emotional charge to them (if she mentions her childhood home and has a certain look in her eye, ask her about her childhood home). If there is a point of connection with you, mention it (e.g. "Ooooh, I grew up in a house just like that!").
-For both always be paying attention to where where she is saying "yes" and "no", by which I primarily mean non-verbal signals. Pay attention to those signals! And there are signals other than yes and no: If she is saying "not right now" dial it back a notch and continue, and if she neutral (neither yes nor no) don't be afraid to go for it.

Edited January 6, 2014 by Creation

[RongzomFan]

A hot girl was actually a Buddhist.

 

But at the time, I was Christian.

 

What a missed opportunity.

[Sloppy Zhang]

As to "pretending" in other aspects of life -- no, as a general rule, I don't. I use language and vocabulary appropriate for a given conversation and I understand that neither verbal stream-of-consciousness nor full disclosure are universal "good ideas" but I also understand that dishonesty (factual, intellectual or emotional) is both unnecessary & generally counterproductive in the long run. Actually, I cannot remember the last time I adopted a false persona.

 

And yet, if we follow the line of logic presented by some in this thread, any time you "use language and vocabulary appropriate for a given conversation" you are, in fact, using a "false persona."

 

Instead, you should "be yourself" fully at all times and let the people who like you for you interact with you as they see fit.

[RongzomFan]

I don't want to read 28 pages of this thread, but has anyone mentioned western or tantric magick to attract women?

[BaguaKicksAss]

Semen is a waste product.

 

If I hold in a shit, will that also attract women?

 

You seriously have to be kidding me, have you never done retention practices for more than a month before?

 

Perhaps it's not the semen, but it is *something* that is definitely lost.

 

For example may as well throw all sex magic out the window that day if the guy has already cum.

[BaguaKicksAss]

.

Edited January 12, 2014 by BaguaKicksAss

[RongzomFan]

You seriously have to be kidding me, have you never done retention practices for more than a month before?

 

Perhaps it's not the semen, but it is *something* that is definitely lost.

 

For example may as well throw all sex magic out the window that day if the guy has already cum.

 

You are not even a man.

 

LOL

[BaguaKicksAss]

A hot girl was actually a Buddhist.

 

But at the time, I was Christian.

 

What a missed opportunity.

 

That... is kind of humorous. I mean in the sense that you are now Buddhist . Give her a call?

[RongzomFan]

That... is kind of humorous. I mean in the sense that you are now Buddhist . Give her a call?

 

That would be kind of extremely weird.

[BaguaKicksAss]

You are not even a man.

 

LOL

 

But I've had sex with them, and sex magic with them, and beleive me, there is a difference. Women can definitely feel a difference on the other end. Sex magic really is pretty much useless for mutual energy stuff if the guy has already gone and released earlier that day. Now if it's been at least a few days, different story entirely!

 

(though I'm pretty sure all this was very thoroughly covered in the yin / yang threads...)

[BaguaKicksAss]

*Waits for RF's discource on how to use western magic and/or tantra to attract... people*

[RongzomFan]

*Waits for RF's discource on how to use western magic and/or tantra to attract... people*

 

I've tried asking Goetia for stuff. None of that worked.

 

Of course you have to offer some of your own blood, but I'm not going to do that shit.

[Brian]

And yet, if we follow the line of logic presented by some in this thread, any time you "use language and vocabulary appropriate for a given conversation" you are, in fact, using a "false persona."

 

Instead, you should "be yourself" fully at all times and let the people who like you for you interact with you as they see fit.

 

Your last sentence is precisely what I am talking about. People, including the most vapid, are multifaceted and have many interests. "Being yourself" doesn't necessarily look the same from one moment to the next -- and it shouldn't.

 

As to the first sentence... To suggest that a conversation with my wife about seeing a movie next weekend or with my boss about budget strategy for the coming fiscal year or with joeblast about quantum mechanics or with my four-year-old nephew about Thomas the Tank Engine should all use precisely the same vocabulary is simply silly, and the suggestion that logic requires such innate flexibility be labeled as fraudulent is illogical.

[C T]

C T, perhaps your emphasis on adoration is cultural? I've heard that Chinese soap operas depict the female protagonists as constantly receiving adoration from multiple gorgeous men, because that is indeed the fantasy of Chinese women. Whereas you don't see adoration depicted so much in American media as "every woman's fantasy". So these things vary from culture to culture.

 

Regardless, have you ever had the experience of someone you didn't want to be around trying to suck up to you all the time? It is really irritating. Have you ever had the experience of someone trying to suck up to you who was obviously only interested in you because they desperately wanted something from you? It feels icky. In my observation of the 20 something dating scene in America, guys who try to adore women into bed are making these two mistakes. Hence the success of the "don't be so nice" advice some are propounding. So "adoring done right" would involve these guys first establishing themselves as someone whose adoration she would value, and giving "agenda free" adoration rather than "Please have sex with me" adoration.

 

But in American culture adoration, though perhaps appreciated when well given, does not necessarily open a woman to a man's sexual advances, especially if she has many options. Well, as I define it, adoration isn't itself sexual. Perhaps for you adoration of a woman always has a sexual undercurrent. But this might be another cultural difference: In America men who were raised to adore women are typically also raised to not allow themselves to bring sexuality into their interactions. Deep down they want things to get sexual, but they are afraid or ashamed of brining sexuality into the interaction, so it never happens. They get terribly frustrated because they were taught to adore women but they never get sexual fulfllment by doing so. This leads to misogyny in one of two forms:

1. Giving up in frustration, deciding women are terrible, stupid, etc.

2. Deciding that they will just be an ass hole to women, because it actually gets them laid

In soap operas... haha... that, Creation, is not cultural, its fantasy. In real Asian culture, the everyday girl never gets a second glance. Thats why glamor sells, BIG time!! Cosmetics, fragrances, clothes, shoes, lingerie, surgical procedures, multi-million dollar ad campaigns with the most 'adorably gorgeous' models... you get the picture, right? I think this applies across all cultures... i could be wrong, mate, but i have travelled a bit in my life (except i am half ignorant when it comes to the US, never been, but have met a few in my time) to notice the glaringly wide commonality.

 

Generally speaking, every sane woman, at some point in their life, wants more than anything to believe that others find them attractive (not just physically at that), nothing wrong with it, but really, those who do not know how to think right opens themselves to exploitation, and this is like a field day for the industries mentioned. (There is the porn market as well, but lets not go there cos 'there' is not your everyday kind of behaviour).

 

I like what was mentioned in your post, except i am not sure if adoration could be used as tool to get a woman into bed straight from the off. Funny thing is women loves attention, but when they get it, hey, they switch off, unless of course there is a kind of mutual feeling happening at the time.

 

What i said above was more like thinking out loud in response to Yabyum's post about the ginger fellow, how he is able to get a string of girls on a regular basis. In my mind, he must have made the first girl very, very satisfied, and word got around that he knew something the other so-called 'top dogs' at campus were cluelessly fumbling around with at the time. Maybe he had a brilliant uncle who passed on a few secrets for him to test out. Who knows. I can see that he made it happen rather than being held back by certain perceived disadvantages, which obviously proves a point about certain learned behavioral criteria having to be met before one can score with women.

 

Personally, i have experienced many times that the way to woman's heart (not for longterm, since the OP deals with the onset of a fling, where 2 people potentially exchange chemical reactions to see if they can get together for a bit of nookie) is not really difficult at all.

 

One has to learn quickly how discreetness can be a good thing, with a good dose of respectfulness thrown in, but maybe such requirements are less emphasised nowadays. Haven't been doing the rounds for a good number of years now, so i can not really dig this whole game the way Sloppy Zhang and some of the other younger bums can, so i do enjoy reading some of the stuff here.

 

Thanks to everyone who has made contributions!

[Creation]

Thanks to everyone who has made contributions!

Thanks right back at ya. It enjoyed hearing your thoughts in more detail.

 

P.S. I think a culture's fantasies are very telling.

Edited January 6, 2014 by Creation

[Sloppy Zhang]

As to the first sentence... To suggest that a conversation with my wife about seeing a movie next weekend or with my boss about budget strategy for the coming fiscal year or with joeblast about quantum mechanics or with my four-year-old nephew about Thomas the Tank Engine should all use precisely the same vocabulary is simply silly, and the suggestion that logic requires such innate flexibility be labeled as fraudulent is illogical.

 

Then how is speaking differently to a woman you are interested in any different, and why should it be labelled as "fraudulent" as it has been so labelled by many people in this thread (including yourself)?

[RongzomFan]

*Waits for RF's discource on how to use western magic and/or tantra to attract... people*

 

The best way is going to local mainstream Hindu temple (not Hare Krishna, Swaminarayan or Sai Baba) and doing a navagraha puja to "speed up marriage".

 

Speeding up marriage is code for attracting people.

Edited January 6, 2014 by RongzomFan

[BaguaKicksAss]

I've tried asking Goetia for stuff. None of that worked.

 

Of course you have to offer some of your own blood, but I'm not going to do that shit.

 

You don't have to offer your own blood to work with Goetia? What sort of horseshit have you been reading? I've been working with Goetia for over 20 years...

 

It didn't work because you are likely new to those techniques is all. Offering something in trade works. But also, if it's for someone specific, the person has to have at least a little interest, or it won't work.

[Brian]

 

Then how is speaking differently to a woman you are interested in any different, and why should it be labelled as "fraudulent" as it has been so labelled by many people in this thread (including yourself)?

Oh, that's easy! Two words -- "false pretenses."

 

If you buy a dark suit to wear to your grandmother's funeral, that is an act of respect and propriety. If you stitch a fake Giorgio Armani label into your WalMart suit, however, and use it to hit on chicks at the funeral, or to get long-lost relatives to "invest with you" then you are a fraud.

 

I can like both J. S. Bach & Bob Marley while being "true to myself." If I pretend to like Brahms or Beastie Boys, I'm not being true to myself. If I use that deception to try to get into somebody's pants, I'm an asshole and deserve it if her brother kicks my ass in the parking lot.

 

It isn't just a matter of "trying to score," either; deception for personal gain is not good, deception at the expense of someone else is worse.

[RongzomFan]

You don't have to offer your own blood to work with Goetia? What sort of horseshit have you been reading? I've been working with Goetia for over 20 years...

 

It didn't work because you are likely new to those techniques is all. Offering something in trade works. But also, if it's for someone specific, the person has to have at least a little interest, or it won't work.

 

I'll just throw a Brahmin priest a few bucks, and let him do all the work.

[Aeran]

Oh, that's easy! Two words -- "false pretenses."

 

If you buy a dark suit to wear to your grandmother's funeral, that is an act of respect and propriety. If you stitch a fake Giorgio Armani label into your WalMart suit, however, and use it to hit on chicks at the funeral, or to get long-lost relatives to "invest with you" then you are a fraud.

 

I can like both J. S. Bach & Bob Marley while being "true to myself." If I pretend to like Brahms or Beastie Boys, I'm not being true to myself. If I use that deception to try to get into somebody's pants, I'm an asshole and deserve it if her brother kicks my ass in the parking lot.

 

It isn't just a matter of "trying to score," either; deception for personal gain is not good, deception at the expense of someone else is worse.

 

Is it false pretenses if they're genuinely trying to adjust their behavior? Isn't that just them changing themselves to become more like the person they feel they have to be to get what they want out of life?

 

I will say this though: every guy I've known who qualifies as an 'alpha male' doesn't think of himself as such, in fact trying to break down and analyze peoples behavior is the furthest thing from their mind, they just act the way they act as naturally as breathing. It seems to me that the conscious striving to try and mimic the external behavior of such men, Copying the external markers of confidence instead of developing the internal balance that allows you to become confident in yourself, is in itself inherently the most 'beta' behavior of all.

Edited January 6, 2014 by Aeran

[BaguaKicksAss]

I'll just throw a Brahmin priest a few bucks, and let him do all the work.

 

Wow, very cost affective! Has this worked for you before?

[Brian]

 

Is it false pretenses if they're genuinely trying to adjust their behavior? Isn't that just them changing themselves to become more like the person they feel they have to be to get what they want out of life?

 

I will say this though: every guy I've known who qualifies as an 'alpha male' doesn't think of himself as such, in fact trying to break down and analyze peoples behavior is the furthest thing from their mind, they just act the way they act as naturally as breathing. It seems to me that the conscious striving to try and mimic the external behavior of such men instead of trying to understand what it is internally that allows them to act that way is in itself inherently 'beta.' Copying the external markers of confidence instead of developing the internal balance that allows you to become confident in yourself.

Yeah, I'd say there's a big difference between, say, listening to Vivaldi because you want to learn to appreciate classical music versus because you want to bang that hot chick at the coffee shop who listens to it, or because that rich aunt you can't stand loves the crap and you want to be included in her will. (Like I said, it isn't about "getting laid" but about character...)

[BaguaKicksAss]

As long as you are treating folks with respect all is good.

 

If you are being mean to folks because you just don't realize it yet, that's not nearly as bad as purposefully trying to mess up people, for your own personal gain. Though always working on oneself is good.

 

IMO.