What has been your most humbling experience?

[idiot_stimpy]

You know why boot camp is humbling?

 

They try to damage your ego so you are more receptive to brainwashing.

 

Yes sir man, that doesn't think, just follows orders.

[Songtsan]

Being arrested for various things, going into the psychiatric hospital, staying at a homeless shelter for a few days then getting kicked out for arguing with the night guard because i couldn't sleep and was manic and insomniac and needed to get out of the bunk bed...standing in line at the department of social services for food stamps and housing assistance, being stripped searched multiple times where they have you bend over and show that you don't have anything shoved up your keister....my life is a posterboard for being humbled...I discovered long ago that having an ego is a terrible thing...my life is like a bizarre movie sometimes...but it strengthens one in many ways...you can only be humbled so much before many of your fears have been realized over and over again and you realize that life goes on....

[GreytoWhite]

Songtsan I would agree that the psychiatric hospital and homelessness are quite humbling. Although I found homelessness to be rather freeing and exhilarating. I was lucky enough to find some very kind people who showed me the ropes and where to get food, the drier and safer places to sleep, and a good hustle partner.

[Aetherous]

You know why boot camp is humbling?

 

They try to damage your ego so you are more receptive to brainwashing.

 

Yes sir man, that doesn't think, just follows orders.

 

It always pisses me off to see someone who hasn't been there put down the people who have, or at least speak as if they actually know. But whatever...I just disagree with this opinion, although can see how it's partly true. There is a little brainwashing (for instance when I was there we said the Soldier's Creed each day out loud together)....not much, and people don't come out of it with a broken ego and an obedient attitude...they are more cocky, headstrong and disobedient than ever. I think the point of it is not to break people per se...but to put them through tough situations, to see if they could handle tougher situations, or at least begin to get them used to it. As well as give "basic training" in things like shooting, sleep deprivation, fitness, navigation, memorization, first aid, etc. Later on, they will refine those things if needed at additional training. It's really just the basics of being a soldier done in a very disciplined and sometimes harsh way. Not a robot factory. Say hi to a soldier. Find out.

[idiot_stimpy]

I'm sorry I pissed you off.

 

If you are interested in this you should look into the stark similarities between techniques used in religious cults and boot camp.

[Aetherous]

It's all good, nothing personal.

[Songtsan]

Songtsan I would agree that the psychiatric hospital and homelessness are quite humbling. Although I found homelessness to be rather freeing and exhilarating. I was lucky enough to find some very kind people who showed me the ropes and where to get food, the drier and safer places to sleep, and a good hustle partner.

 

yeah, there is that feeling of anything can happen...I bet it is better in the warmer months...I heard about a guy who used to walk around with a backpack which had a hammock that you could just tie up to different tree limbs - he would go to big cities and just climb trees at night and put his hammock up - that always sounded fun to me...

[chegg]

.

Edited March 14, 2015 by chegg

[BaguaKicksAss]

You know why boot camp is humbling?

 

They try to damage your ego so you are more receptive to brainwashing.

 

Yes sir man, that doesn't think, just follows orders.

 

I have found with this, that for some it is helpful long-term and something they needed, but for others it was more negative and damaging.

[Marblehead]

Believe it or not, there were and still are some military personnel who, after basic training, are taught to think on their own again. There are many professions where the individual must take an instantaneous action and oftentimes it is a matter of life and death.

 

Basic training is designed more at teaching the individual to work as a member of a team. That is why I had a problem getting through basic. I always have been an Anarchist. I always did my own thing. To follow orders from others was a great challenge for me.

 

So basic training was teaching me to be a team player. It worked to a certain degree. Hehehe.

 

And you will also find that those who must operate according to the "Yes Sir!" concept are amongst those who have the biggest ego. After basic training they are taught to believe that they are Supermen. They need to believe that because, when called on, they must have total confidence in their ability to complete the mission assigned them.

 

So anyhow, I am a proud military man and will be until the day I die.

[Stosh]

^{Yesterday is gone and often best forgotten, so the present can be fresh.}

^{But Im sure most of yall have considered that.So Is there a pull to compete or confess?}

^{Im thinking everybody would be one click better off without recounting it all ,}

^{but then , perhaps theres at leat the tiny gain of pride in having come through crappy circumstance ,,}

^{but that wouldnt really be humble , now would it?}

^{Un- humbled by humbling circumstance ? Thats much better.IMO}

Edited January 8, 2014 by Stosh

[Marblehead]

^{Yesterday is gone and often best forgotten, so the present can be fresh.}

While what you say is true to a degree, I suggest that we remember the lessons of the past so that we do not have to continuously relearn the lessons. This includes so that we don't keep making the same mistakes over and over again.

[Stosh]

While what you say is true to a degree, I suggest that we remember the lessons of the past so that we do not have to continuously relearn the lessons. This includes so that we don't keep making the same mistakes over and over again.

That too has a reasonable element , but how much does a person needs to actively dwell on what they consider misfortunes?

Could mithshryke benefit by remembering the 'humiliation' re: his health issues ? or anyone else theirs?

The facts were whatever the facts were,... decisions made , events happened , the emotional redirect of humiliation isnt required , its just a 'burning in' with pain that which could have been cognitively embraced.

I dont wish humiliations to be doled out so I can deem people as improved, Id much rather see the bold happiness of the ignorant unfettered child within, rather than the beaten down, beaten back, retreat of the humiliated.

Would you rather have succeeded at any given thing rather than consider yourself to have failed , or to be lacking? Well,,, if there is anything to compassion , and thee being me , or "there, but for the grace of god, go I" then one should be wishing for others, that same good existance they wanted for themselves ( as I do) ,,

The tricky part is that folks attribute some 'virtue' to failures which have left a scar, and , in that state, they want to count themselves among the improved ,thinking themselves being so, dont want to let go of the fungible attribute of humility.

Humiliation, can as much, lead to angry active retribution , suicide , diminished self respect , as could lead to a better more sincere level of relating to others.

Do Yoou want to watch people who you arent at odds with ,being humbled to some theoretically improved state ? Is it not ugly ?

Thusly pointed out , anyone should be able to see, that humility doesnt stand as any kind of pure virtue , the events that bring it on are merely a scar, which the benefits of are dubious , not certain.

So I kind-of dislike its promotion.

[Marblehead]

What did you do? Start studuing psychology? Hehehe. That was some post.

 

To dwell upon ...? No, that's not what I was speaking to. The past is written in stone. Can't change that. But to know the undesirable we can better place value on what we decide is desirable.

 

Humiliation results from being in a condition that we know we should not be in. Correct the conditions, remove the humiliation, feel good about one's self but remember to not go where there will likely be more humiliation.

[BaguaKicksAss]

If it is something we are at peace with from our past, and it comes up, no big deal, we can mention it, then go back along with what we were doing.

 

If it is however something we have not yet come to peace with, then it comes up, and lets us work on and through it, until we have resolved it.

 

Either way, it is more of a reminder that we are often humbled by many different things in life .

[suninmyeyes]

A close friend of my close friend at 27 had everything going for he , carrear , a partner , travel plans ...until she had a car accident and ended up in coma for long time . After which she lost all abilities to move and cannot do anything by herself for years .

She uses computer with her nose .

This was and still is a wake up call or all of us who know her .

[Friend]

Sometimes we are like the frog in the well talking big and assuming much

and some events come make us understand that things are not as we believe and think

making us understand about the certainity in life and.... realize the fault(?)- reorganize the view on the world

in these situation.

Trancending the view and awareness about the wonders of other possibility.

 

I think we also need the critical view on the negative effects of humble which is used

to control people and tell them what they deserve and how the have to be

and consequence happens if they are not humble.

 

The question is when is humbleness ok or not ok in your mind?

Why do some react positve while other negative on humbleness?

Was there a time when this happend to cause this judgement?

Was there a piece of information, a sentence which had guide you to the opinion?

[Stosh]

What did you do? Start studuing psychology? Hehehe. That was some post.

 

Yes , I have studied it some.

 

 

To dwell upon ...? No, that's not what I was speaking to. The past is written in stone. Can't change that. But to know the undesirable we can better place value on what we decide is desirable.

Sure , but you can understand what is desirable , or what worked, without the need to embrace the spanking or the new approach of defeat as if it were now fit for you. Grasping on to that same humble proud paradigm pairing , as if it had validity .. is .. not doing anyone any good.

Look back on something you didnt do as youd have wished , or it didnt go as youd have hoped.. Im thinking you can probably see that you perhaps were EITHER actually trying the best you knew how under the circumstances, or the misfortune landed on you out of nowhere. Neither is ' blamable' really.

The raped woman , the failed stock broker , the debilitated , injured , the mentally abused. I dont wish on them- not one iota -of humility due to any of it... and have defiance for anyone who wishes it on them,, that they should have learned some lesson or other ! ,, that maybe now, in front of folks ,they are supposed to bow their heads in some disgrace , or retreat from opportunities newly presented , to play the role of loser, eternally second guess what they would have done?

No ,, I dont wish that on folks, it isnt better than accepting what happened was what happened,, and yes, use that going forward with broader perspective, but no , not to carry the fear of future imagined spankings hanging over ones head like the sword of Damocles.

 

Humiliation results from being in a condition that we know we should not be in. Correct the conditions, remove the humiliation, feel good about one's self but remember to not go where there will likely be more humiliation.

And what guarantee is there they they will not sacrifice both now and tomorrow , which are fresh .

[Marblehead]

Sure , but you can understand what is desirable , or what worked, without the need to embrace the spanking or the new approach of defeat as if it were now fit for you. Grasping on to that same humble proud paradigm pairing , as if it had validity .. is .. not doing anyone any good.

Look back on something you didnt do as youd have wished , or it didnt go as youd have hoped.. Im thinking you can probably see that you perhaps were EITHER actually trying the best you knew how under the circumstances, or the misfortune landed on you out of nowhere. Neither is ' blamable' really.

The raped woman , the failed stock broker , the debilitated , injured , the mentally abused. I dont wish on them- not one iota -of humility due to any of it... and have defiance for anyone who wishes it on them,, that they should have learned some lesson or other ! ,, that maybe now, in front of folks ,they are supposed to bow their heads in some disgrace , or retreat from opportunities newly presented , to play the role of loser, eternally second guess what they would have done?

No ,, I dont wish that on folks, it isnt better than accepting what happened was what happened,, and yes, use that going forward with broader perspective, but no , not to carry the fear of future imagined spankings hanging over ones head like the sword of Damocles.

I too don't wish any ill fortune on anyone. (At least I haven't for a while now.)

 

But stuff happens in life. Some of that stuff is not so pretty. Thing is though, once it has happened there is nothing that can be done about it. If we were violated perhaps the violater will have to pay in some manner. But what happened still remains a part of our past. Hopefully it has taught us a lesson of some kind.

 

To live defensively without having paranoia thoughts isn't a bad way of life. Sure, it would be even better if we did not have to be defensive but I will suggest that doing so will only set us up for a humiliating experience.

 

 

And what guarantee is there they they will not sacrifice both now and tomorrow , which are fresh .

There are no guarantees. None. And we cannot predict the future so we simply must prepare for it as best we can. But not with such attention that we forget to live today.

[GreytoWhite]

That too has a reasonable element , but how much does a person needs to actively dwell on what they consider misfortunes?

Could mithshryke benefit by remembering the 'humiliation' re: his health issues ?

 

I have benefited from remembering such times, it has kept me alive. When suicidal ideation reared its ugly head I thought back to the many times that life has been worse at times and it has allowed me to move forward with hope that things will be better. While I am slowly dropping each piece of emotional baggage from that time, I find it helpful to recall the crucible and to drop the dross.

[Stosh]

I have benefited from remembering such times, it has kept me alive. When suicidal ideation reared its ugly head I thought back to the many times that life has been worse at times and it has allowed me to move forward with hope that things will be better. While I am slowly dropping each piece of emotional baggage from that time, I find it helpful to recall the crucible and to drop the dross.

So youre saying the humiliation is the good part? Ok , but umm Im thinking thats the 'dross'.

[silent thunder]

1 becoming a father, hands down... I was pretty free of attachment and didn't realize what the Tibetans were talking about until he looked into my eyes.

 

2 realizing that most of the adults around me were lying about all sorts of stuff, everyday.

[CloudHands]

Stosh : humiliation will not humble most people, for sure, and that's not the topic is about. Your reaction is very strong, isn't it?

 

Someone recently told me I was no genius, so I had to work (yes we talk tai chi) ! No scar just the sweetest bite I swear

 

Marblehead, Aetherous : if you wish to express, don't you look at the soldier's way as completely opposite to the Tao's way ? How do you link it otherwise ? I know carreer soldiers -so you can't do it to me- one told me he has no idea how many people he killed because you to far to know if you hit or not, the only one he was certain was a civilian, he throwed a grenade in a house to be sure they will not be attacked. He's one of the sweetest guy I know but isn't it war the main purpose of an army ?

 

No harm intended.

[Aetherous]

Marblehead, Aetherous : if you wish to express, don't you look at the soldier's way as completely opposite to the Tao's way ? How do you link it otherwise ? I know carreer soldiers -so you can't do it to me- one told me he has no idea how many people he killed because you to far to know if you hit or not, the only one he was certain was a civilian, he throwed a grenade in a house to be sure they will not be attacked. He's one of the sweetest guy I know but isn't it war the main purpose of an army ?

 

Some sign up to protect the innocent and preserve peace. Huge difference between that and a suicide bomber who targets large groups, for instance. Think about that for a second.

 

The mass murdering of innocents due to phony religious brainwashing, should not happen...that is what's not in line with the Tao. Stopping that, in my view, is in line with the Tao. It's the natural response of any good person, to protect others who need protection.

 

Life and morality are not as black and white as we first assume, but they also aren't absolutely ambiguous or unknowable. Pacifism, in my view, is a misunderstanding of what's right and what's wrong. For instance, it's right to put a serial killer behind bars...in doing so, you're preventing the murdering of who knows how many innocent people. A pacifist type would say, "it's wrong to put anyone behind bars"...but isn't that missing the point? We have to choose the better option in all cases. There isn't a perfect option. You can't expect to not be bitten if you're simply nice to the lion. It's in the lion's nature to bite you.

 

"If you want peace (or others to live in peace), prepare for war (because there are people out there who aren't peaceful, and who will bring war to the innocent)."

 

Just some thoughts.

Edited January 9, 2014 by Aetherous

[GreytoWhite]

So youre saying the humiliation is the good part? Ok , but umm Im thinking thats the 'dross'.

 

Humiliation is not necessarily a bad thing of one is truly humbled instead of merely insulted. There is much else than humiliation that I drag around with me which I feel is far worse. Perspective, we all have a slightly different vantage point.