What did meditation do to me? Please read...

[Under]

NOTE: To anybody reading this, there used to be a post here regarding side effects that I was experiencing that I thought was caused by meditation... I deleted the post because I now know that it had NOTHING to do with the meditation... I was going through a lot of stressful things in my life and I stupidly though that the meditation was the cause. There were a lot of people that have read this post and  I apolgize if I have scared anyone into not doing mediation. Mediation is a GOOD thing and I hope that I did not discourage too many people into not doing mediation. Please ignore the title... Thank You.

 

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Edited May 24, 2015 by Under

[BaguaKicksAss]

Would you like me to merge this with your identical thread from September?

[Jetsun]

I have heard of others who have had similar experiences,I could tell you what some psychologists would call your state, but I am hesitant as I am not sure a label will help as it opens up a rabbit hole of things like meds and supposed "experts" talking about it which might just complicate things. Do you want the psych label?

[Under]

Would you like me to merge this with your identical thread from September?

Hello Bagua. The reason why I reposted this was because I wanted to add a some things that I left out about my experience. You can merge it if you like (even though I have no idea what that does)

Edited January 16, 2014 by Under

[BaguaKicksAss]

It sort of puts the two threads into one thread. I`ll wait until there are a couple of more replies first. Your post from today would be on page 2 of the old thread. It also might help in that people can reply to old comments.

 

I hope you figure out what is up, as well as a solution.

[Songtsan]

Could be Kundalini - there is a lot of mention of Kundalini and left leg stuff, which is really to do with the area for the left leg in the pre-motor cortex. Also mention of loss of libido, anhedonia, and the muscle spasms could possibly be kriyas, or spontaneous movements...

 

or it might not be that at all - what was the quality of the muscle spasms? Did they seem random, or almost as if someone was 'doing' them besides you?

[Leif]

Nothing can beat a diagnosis and treatment from a specialist (TCM doctor, meditation master,...).

 

 

Anyway, if I was in similar situation, I'd likely attempt to increase physical exercise/activities, possibly taichi or walking meditation, and test the waters with gentle self-massage and being more mindful in your daily activities ('being in your body' - eg. Eckhart Tolle in Power of Now is good basic source on that).

Edited January 17, 2014 by Leif

[Under]

Could be Kundalini - there is a lot of mention of Kundalini and left leg stuff, which is really to do with the area for the left leg in the pre-motor cortex. Also mention of loss of libido, anhedonia, and the muscle spasms could possibly be kriyas, or spontaneous movements...

 

or it might not be that at all - what was the quality of the muscle spasms? Did they seem random, or almost as if someone was 'doing' them besides you?

 

Hello Songtsan. The way I can describe the muscle spasms were that it felt like little involuntary twitches that occured on my neck that would go throughout my body. It would happen randomly. This lasted for about 6 months. Oh yeah, and I forgot to mention that my legs would contract by themselves when I fell asleep at night. This dosen't happen anymore either.... Wow, I acutally just relized something else that I forgot to mention. About a week after the heat thing I got a wierd tingling sensation inbetween my eyebrows... Is that the third eye?

[Songtsan]

Hello Songtsan. The way I can describe the muscle spasms were that it felt like little involuntary twitches that occured on my neck that would go throughout my body. It would happen randomly. This lasted for about 6 months. Oh yeah, and I forgot to mention that my legs would contract by themselves when I fell asleep at night. This dosen't happen anymore either.... Wow, I acutally just relized something else that I forgot to mention. About a week after the heat thing I got a wierd tingling sensation inbetween my eyebrows... Is that the third eye?i

 

it really does sound energetic in nature, although it could be due to random release of energetic blocks or due to an intelligent force such as kundalini.

[Under]

it really does sound energetic in nature, although it could be due to random release of energetic blocks or due to an intelligent force such as kundalini.

 

Ok... Well if it is an energy block or Kundalini. Is there anyway to get back to my old state? I have been like this for 2 years and I would very much like to experience my emotions again.

Edited January 17, 2014 by Under

[C T]

Emotions are in turmoil.

 

What to do?

 

Karma yoga.

 

What is the essence of karma yoga?

 

To wash away imprints that are impeding your well-being.

 

How to wash away these projections of loss, mental fatigue, numbness and apathetic bouts of self-pity and denial?

 

Take this energy and use it to make others happy, in the best, most sincere way possible.

 

If you cannot do this, you are not serious enough about wanting to rekindle your state of happiness and well-being.

 

If you are not serious, don't come here crying for help.

 

 

 

Something i just read today, which might en-light-en you:

 

"The real, and the seemingly real. Their connection are the negative emotions. On the path of the seemingly real, the negative emotions imprison us. On the path of the real, the emotions liberate us. There is a secret life to the emotions."

[Songtsan]

Ok... Well if it is an energy block or Kundalini. Is there anyway to get back to my old state? I have been like this for 2 years and I would very much like to experience my emotions again.

 

It really sounds like a 'Dark Night of the Soul' type of deal. If its just due to energy imbalance, then rebalancing is the trick. If it is Kundalini, I have never heard of anyone undoing it - you can only push through it by going deeper

[HoldorFold]

Listen to and give this a go. It works for me.

[idiot_stimpy]

Emotional numbness is beneficial when dealing with people and negative emotions.

 

Instead of wondering why you are not feeling emotions, consciously try and experience them.

 

Think about love and try and create that feeling within your body. Can you do this?

 

How long can you go without any sexual activity of any kind?

 

If you still engage in sexual activity or sexual thoughts of any kind, your sex drive is still there.

[RiverSnake]

I don't know the solution to your problems....but take comfort in knowing that your not alone with these experiences. Sometimes people have spontaneous awakenings. I have personally experience some of what you speak of....loss of emotions...loss of sexual desire.....only I was already walking the path so I was able to take it in stride.....it wasn't a spontaneous thing.

 

The only advice I can give you is to pray. Cast your intent out into the Universe. Is there a religion or a god/goddess you have a connection with? Whatever your feeling pray to find an answer. If your an atheist you can still just pray to the Universe. This is the best advice I can offer.....perhaps more advanced practitioners than I can give deeper insights.

 

My 2 cents, Peace

Edited January 17, 2014 by OldChi

[idiot_stimpy]

I've been looking around online and I found this website that said you should never meditate directly following sex.

 

You shouldn't engage in any spiritual practice if you are not prepared for the changes. While some would find what you're experiencing a blessing, unfortunately you view it differently. That what is dying inside of you is fake. Let it go and be free, be the real you.

[Aeran]

Psychologically, what you're describing sounds like a combination of depersonalization and depression, although that doesn't help you much. As others have said, it sounds like you triggered the release of something, energetically speaking, that your body wasn't ready for, and now it's clogged up and causing problems.

 

My advice would be to find a competent teacher of yoga or qi gong, explain your problem, have them examine you and, if they feel it would be beneficial, to begin practicing under their supervision, combined with improving your diet, taking up physical exercise etc. All of the stuff that is normally recommended for unblocking energy pathways.

[yabyum24]

Well basically what happened; about 2 years ago, I did a meditation technique were I didn't allow thoughts to enter my mind while listening to Binaural Beats. For those of you who don't know what a Binaural Beat is, it's basically a tone that you listen to using headphones. Each ear bud has two slightly different sound tones which creates a third "imaginary" tone in your brain. The purpose of this is that it helps you get into a meditative state more easier; and it supposedly can induce altered states of consciousness.

Someone please help me... What's the point of living if I can't even feel happiness?

 

....Is this a normal side effect of meditation?

I'm sorry to hear of your problems and I hope you find help you need. I just need to set one thing straight though, as misunderstanding this has caused the problem and causes problems for many more people.

 

Actually, you didn't meditate - you artificially induced a state over which you had no control and, therefore, are clueless as to the result. There was a fair amount of stuff about Binaural Beats posted onto Buddhist boards a few years back and I was aware that some people out there were experimenting. I looked into it and listened to some tracks. Personally, I didn't like it at all and felt there was something "wrong" with the whole thing.

 

It isn't meditation, just like doing drugs and spacing out isn't. People should never mess with this stuff, as you are a passive recipient of whatever comes as a result. If it's bad, you're stuck with some crap nobody has got a clue about. If it was fantastic, you're stuck longing to repeat the experience but never able to, and completely in the wrong frame of mind to enter the path.

 

There's been some very good advice on this thread so far. I should look into following it, especially the stuff about finding someone who can train you in re-balancing your energy. I do Tai Chi and it's excellent but there are many other systems equally as good, yoga for one.

 

Perhaps you should also look at learning how to meditate properly. If you develop calm abiding you will clear out all sorts of crap and you may get to the root of the problem.

 

Good luck anyway. I wish you success and wellbeing. If you don't let it get to you and apply yourself, you will kick it into touch.

[Jetsun]

Psychologically, what you're describing sounds like a combination of depersonalization and depression, although that doesn't help you much. As others have said, it sounds like you triggered the release of something, energetically speaking, that your body wasn't ready for, and now it's clogged up and causing problems.

 

My advice would be to find a competent teacher of yoga or qi gong, explain your problem, have them examine you and, if they feel it would be beneficial, to begin practicing under their supervision, combined with improving your diet, taking up physical exercise etc. All of the stuff that is normally recommended for unblocking energy pathways.

 

Depersonalization is what I was going to say, I thought I had it for a while and there are books written on the condition and websites full of people with similar symptoms, I was a long term member of one which was why I was hesitant on saying it might be that because basically after reading the stories of probably hundreds of people with similar symptoms it was clear that the common pattern for those who recover was that they just got on with the rest of their lives and stopped obsessing about their symptoms and accepted it, then one day a few months down the line they realised their symptoms were gone. The other route many took was to search really hard for cures and try lots of meds and see different docs which just fed the underlying anxiety and kept the symptoms alive.

[C T]

It is easy for confusion to take hold and choke a person if the focus of practice is simply to clear out the mind, which many actually believe is the main goal of meditation. Its not. An empty mind is useless if there is no integration with the arousing of compassion. True meditation gives rise to both spontaneously.

[TheDustAutumn]

Hello Songtsan. The way I can describe the muscle spasms were that it felt like little involuntary twitches that occured on my neck that would go throughout my body. It would happen randomly. This lasted for about 6 months. Oh yeah, and I forgot to mention that my legs would contract by themselves when I fell asleep at night. This dosen't happen anymore either.... Wow, I acutally just relized something else that I forgot to mention. About a week after the heat thing I got a wierd tingling sensation inbetween my eyebrows... Is that the third eye?

Magnesium deficiency. It causes brain fog and when severely low it shuts down your sex drive. Intense mental effort(concentration) and physical effort depleats Mg. Try a supplement for a few months. http://www.greenmedinfo.com/blog/magnesium-deficiency-symptoms-and-diagnosis

Edited January 17, 2014 by coZma

[Seeker of Wisdom]

Under, binaural beats aren't a very good way to go about meditating, and forcefully blocking out thought isn't correct either.

 

Binaural beats are an undeveloped technology, nothing is really known about the effects, and if they were a reliable way to induce altered states safely that would still be missing the point of meditation. A cool experience is just an experience, meditation is for making the mind more healthy and pliant all the time.

 

Meditation isn't about stopping thought, either. It's about increasing relaxation, stability and vividness. That will reduce thought as a side-effect because of more stable focus, but a meditation master could think about things actually more effectively than a normal person.

 

By forcefully blocking thought and using binaural beats, you may have inadvertently clung to 'coarse laxity' - basically, zoned out so much you dulled your mind.

 

You need to keep your mind active, think about things as much as you can and get grounded with some kind of exercise.

 

Also get The Attention Revolution by Alan Wallace so you understand meditation. Practising it correctly could also help you fix this, but be gentle.

[LeoViridis]

Seems like you're on your way to attain the anuttara-samyak-sambodhi... heh.

 

Jokes aside, it really depends on what technique you were using. About cracking the dantien, you shouldn't be to worried about that, as the dantien can crack with only a few techniques, if using them after sexual activity. I think the kundalini can also be pretty much discounted. If you would raise your kundalini, you wouldn't be able to mistake the feeling for anything else, plus your symptoms don't really match kundalini raising that much. That being said, I don't really know what you're experiencing, or why... possible placebo effect?

[thelerner]

There have been times during practice I've lost my libido. It was kind of a nice liberating change of pace. Its winter, a time for holding in and rest. I'd give it a month or two before worrying about it, especially since you've seen a doctor and there's nothing physical. Your body might be doing just what its supposed to.

 

<edit 2 years, from listening to a biaural tape?? I can't help but think there is a factor we're missing here. Be it psychological of physical. Going to a Traditional Chinese Medicine doctor might give some insight.

Edited January 17, 2014 by thelerner

[Starjumper]

This has been going on for almost two years now and honestly I want my libido and emotions back... I mean... I'm 18 years old. How can a teenager not have any sexual appetite? Especially a male. It's absurd.



 

You appear to be suffering from the toxic side effects of living in the USA and how they are implementing both population control and emotion control. Living there also seems to have a bleaching effect on people, because after I escaped the mad house to the North my hair started getting darker.