I want a diploma.

[king]

Actually it was a bodhisattwa, not a buddha, but the test maxed out, so I don't know if I'm a buddha or not.

Of course I'm serious. I'm enlightened. I just don't know how enlightened I am, because that's up to definitions and stuff.

I'm sorry, but I'm being serious. In my very first post in the lounge, I mentioned having "delusions of enlightenment".

I figured you could be serious about it too, because it isn't a warm and fuzzy feeling you get from reading that when you're simply you, you're this holy dude that people should gather round. It's cool to be enlightened up to a point. It's cool to be skilled at something. Then it gets creepy and weird, and people stop understanding you, and when you actually begin to read, scriptures say weird things about things you think is completely normal. Then it isn't a warm and fuzzy feeling anymore. Then it's kind of dreadful.

I knew it was different than a buddha..

You certainly may have the personality of a Buddha or a Bodhisattwa, but that doesn't mean you have their energies (or that doesn't mean you are one)

 

BTW are you doing some practices?

[BaguaKicksAss]

Why is this in the "General Discussion" section btw? Shouldn't it be in the "Off topic"?

 

I had some other ideas where this could be moved to... .

[adept]

Is this a Tao forum or a mental institution ? Or both ?

Well at least he's not talking about John Chang, superpowers, 'high level' chi kung, silk pyjamas etc etc.

[Icedude]

Well, a diploma is such an immaterial object, why you are so attached to it....???

 

Immaterial? I'm guessing you mean "unimportant", and not "spiritual".

 

I'm not "attached" to it in that way. I'm choosing it. I've chosen to make people understand.

Enlightened people sort of project themselves from Nirvana, with projected "attachments".

 

Also when you're dealing with the material world, you need material things.

If I choose to unlock my material door, I need a material key. Maybe in the future I could unlock it with the power of my mind, but I'm not even going to try that.

[adept]

Also when you're dealing with the material world, you need material things.

If I choose to unlock my material door, I need a material key. Maybe in the future I could unlock it with the power of my mind, but I'm not even going to try that.

 

Why don't you fold up your diploma and use that as a skeleton key ?

[king]

I had some other ideas where this could be moved to... .

Me to, but I decided to be more polite

[adept]

A monk asked, "Does a diploma have a Buddha-nature or not?"

The master said, "Not [Mu]!"

[adept]

 

A Diploma of Tea

• Nan-in, a Japanese master during the Meiji era (1868-1912), received a university professor who came to inquire about Zen.

• Nan-in served tea. He poured his visitor's diploma full, and then kept on pouring.

The professor watched the overflow until he no longer could restrain himself. "It is overfull. No more will go in!"

"Like this diploma," Nan-in said, "you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your diploma?"

[Icedude]

I knew it was different than a buddha..

You certainly may have the personality of a Buddha or a Bodhisattwa, but that doesn't mean you have their energies (or that doesn't mean you are one)

 

BTW are you doing some practices?

 

I know. That's why I'd like to test my energies. I don't like to claim something if I'm actually not, because I didn't invent all these offical definitions.

 

No, I'm not doing any practices besides re-solving koans I've already solved, just to keep my mind fresh. I had these ideas of how the universe was when I was a kid, about fetters and how I shouldn't have them. Then more and more strange things started to happen. For instance, I felt as if the walls, roof and floor or my mind flew away, and that I was floating, and the walls didn't come back, so I had to adapt. I lost my self too. This was even before I read about eastern religion. Then I began to see suffering, and people understood me less and less because I always wanted to tell them what they didn't know. I guess people don't like my authority either. These past months I've just been drifting in and out of a meditative state. I'm not even doing anything. It just happens naturally.

 

 

 

I had some other ideas where this could be moved to... .

 

Could you be respectful instead? It's not my fault that people want to fill the thread with clever remarks. Ask them to stop trolling me instead. I didn't ask for white tigers and glowing seals, and you know it.

 

 

 

Is this a Tao forum or a mental institution ? Or both ?

Well at least he's not talking about John Chang, superpowers, 'high level' chi kung, silk pyjamas etc etc.

 

So you're saying that you'd have to be insane to believe in enlightenment, or enlightened people? ...and that all that you can ever aspire to be, is a practitioner of health techniques?

[Nungali]

Why not join an organisation that will give you a real fancy one ?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But if you prefer an 'Eastern Tradition' .....

 

 

[adept]

A Parable

Buddha told a parable in a sutra:

A man traveling across a field encountered a tiger. He fled, the tiger after him. Coming to a precipice, he caught hold of the root of a wild vine and swung himself down over the edge. The tiger sniffed at him from above. Trembling, the man looked down to where, far below, another tiger was waiting to eat him. Only the vine sustained him.

Two mice, one white and one black, little by little started to gnaw away the vine. The man saw a luscious diploma near him. Grasping the vine with one hand, he plucked the diploma with the other. How sweet it tasted!

[Icedude]

A monk asked, "Does a diploma have a Buddha-nature or not?"

The master said, "Not [Mu]!"

No, Joshu said "Without!" in a way that was without yes or no. He basically responded "Empty!".

A dog is believed to have a buddha nature, by the way, so would Joshu have answered simply "No!", he would have been simply wrong.

Edited March 20, 2014 by Icedude

[Icedude]

Why not join an organisation that will give you a real fancy one ?

 

[pic]

 

But if you prefer an 'Eastern Tradition' .....

 

[pic]

 

...because people don't take those kind of diplomas seriously.

Look, I already have a plan to get a good and valid diploma, so thank you for all your diplomas, because I know that it takes time and effort to look them up and make them, but I don't think I need just a random diploma from the internet. ...but thank you anyway.

[BaguaKicksAss]

What is your plan for a decent diploma, with actual testing of your level/abilities included?

[Icedude]

What is your plan for a decent diploma, with actual testing of your level/abilities included?

 

Like I said: I'm just going to wait for the buddhist temple in my vicinity to be built, and then go there, tell them that I'm enlightened, have them laugh at me for a bit, then ask to be tested, and hopefully they have some sort of a test (that doesn't just involve a staring contest, because I don't trust those). After that I reckon they'll have something to give me to show to people.

[king]

What is your plan for a decent diploma, with actual testing of your level/abilities included?

So many posts.. you must have been training a lot today :D

[SonOfTheGods]

We lost More Pie Guy, and got this guy?

[Apech]

We lost More Pie Guy, and got this guy?

 

 

You're not saying there's connection are you?

 

Or are you just expressing regret?

[SonOfTheGods]

You're not saying there's connection are you?

 

Or are you just expressing regret?

The Mo Pai gods are exacting revenge upon us

[Nungali]

Like I said: I'm just going to wait for the buddhist temple in my vicinity to be built, and then go there, tell them that I'm enlightened, have them laugh at me for a bit, then ask to be tested, and hopefully they have some sort of a test (that doesn't just involve a staring contest, because I don't trust those). After that I reckon they'll have something to give me to show to people.

 

Well, I cant fault that. I guess if I was you .... ... i would be acting the same as you ... so, If I was you (and still a bit like me) ... I would add to the plan a bit: I would go and help them build the temple. Why wait, why delay your need?

 

Anyway, go and help them build their temple, work with them daily and they will get to know you and experience your level of ... whatever ... maybe even cook for them and supply lunch. By the time the temple is built no one will be laughing at you and there will probably be no need for a test as you will have already passed it. Then they will have ' something to give me to show to people', I'm sure.

 

Maybe when the temple is finally finished and they have been with you every day they may decide to give you what you want, a diploma on paper might not be good enough (one could always loose it ), they may decide to brand you with a red hot seal or something that says 'Enlightened' under it or something.

 

 

 

... or, as you say, just wait until its built. ... what will you do in the meantime?

[Icedude]

Well, I cant fault that. I guess if I was you .... ... i would be acting the same as you ... so, If I was you (and still a bit like me) ... I would add to the plan a bit: I would go and help them build the temple. Why wait, why delay your need?

 

Anyway, go and help them build their temple, work with them daily and they will get to know you and experience your level of ... whatever ... maybe even cook for them and supply lunch. By the time the temple is built no one will be laughing at you and there will probably be no need for a test as you will have already passed it. Then they will have ' something to give me to show to people', I'm sure.

 

Maybe when the temple is finally finished and they have been with you every day they may decide to give you what you want, a diploma on paper might not be good enough (one could always loose it ), they may decide to brand you with a red hot seal or something that says 'Enlightened' under it or something.

 

 

 

... or, as you say, just wait until its built. ... what will you do in the meantime?

 

Building a buddhist temple in the modern day, doesn't mean voluntary monks building it by hand fueled by faith.

They *tried* to do that, but that got our countrys union really upset. They called working for no pay "slave labour" - really scandalous.

...so I'd need a working permit, at least some experience with a nail gun, and I would be expected not to hang around the construction site meditating. Building any sort of housing today, means building code, wall isolation, lifting cranes, showing up to work on time, and doesn't mean anything spiritually. Common people have already been hired to do that, and common people are hired to make lunch for them. It is illegal in my country to not do it for money.

Edited March 21, 2014 by Icedude

[silent thunder]

Building a buddhist temple in the modern day, doesn't mean voluntary monks building it by hand fueled by faith.

They *tried* to do that, but that got our countrys union really upset. They called working for no pay "slave labour" - really scandalous.

...so I'd need a working permit, at least some experience with a nail gun, and I would be expected not to hang around the construction site meditating. Building any sort of housing today, means building code, wall isolation, lifting cranes, showing up to work on time, and doesn't mean anything spiritually. Common people have already been hired to do that, and common people are hired to make lunch for them. It is illegal in my country to not do it for money.

I'm in the film maker's union and work on construction sites and meditate on site every single day.

Folks get used to it... some mock it, some admire it, some ignore it, I just breath.

[Icedude]

I'm in the film maker's union and work on construction sites and meditate on site every single day.

Folks get used to it... some mock it, some admire it, some ignore it, I just breath.

 

Just sitting and breathing won't drive nails into planks. Maybe if somebody came along and tied some yellow tape around your head, making you a part of a taped-off section, you'd be contributing. Otherwise I see no point travelling to a remote noisy construction site. Construction sites mean electric saws eating through wood, trucks driving around (including that annoying beeping they make when they back up), and possibly asbestos inhalation. You've been thinking about your breathing, but you've never thought about the construction dust you're breathing in?

[Rara]

 

Just sitting and breathing won't drive nails into planks. Maybe if somebody came along and tied some yellow tape around your head, making you a part of a taped-off section, you'd be contributing. Otherwise I see no point travelling to a remote noisy construction site. Construction sites mean electric saws eating through wood, trucks driving around (including that annoying beeping they make when they back up), and possibly asbestos inhalation. You've been thinking about your breathing, but you've never thought about the construction dust you're breathing in?

I got it....invest your time in stand up comedy. You have the talent!

 

Then you get will get fans. THEN you can slowly introduce your wisdom to them and they will follow!

 

An alternative to this diploma idea that seems to have fallen through.

[Icedude]

I got it....invest your time in stand up comedy. You have the talent!

 

Then you get will get fans. THEN you can slowly introduce your wisdom to them and they will follow!

 

An alternative to this diploma idea that seems to have fallen through.

 

...and what am I supposed to do with all those fans and followers?

How do they relate to anything?

 

Say I walk up to a person and say: "Listen, I think there's something you should know. Just hold on for a moment." Then my fans and followers will rush in to begin setting up the stage for me. Most likely the street we're on has to be cordoned off during the show. There's make-up and lighting and sound checks for the microphones. The first rows will be my closest devotees, and the newcomers will be at the back. Then I'll adress the person from over a crowd of people, and that's how I get my message across when I talk to people from then on.

...because I have a diploma.

Edited March 21, 2014 by Icedude