Are you a mature and responsible adult?

[mewtwo]

So me and my friends were talking and they don't think I am a mature and responsible adult. They did not say it in a condescending way but more of a your you way. I at first wanted to be mature then I thought why, I am happy the way I am. So would people say that your not mature and responsible? not in a bill or chore way but more in the way you act?

 

Thanks

[Brian]

I am old and have lots of responsibilities...

[Marblehead]

I like to think that I am mature and responsible. However, I let my child out to play all the time. What's life worth if you can't dance and enjoy yourself?

 

 

PS to Brian: Yes, you enjoy letting your child out to play too.

[dee]

I believe in just healthy habits. Which all revolve around you. This means waking up early, exercising, eating well and so on. This allows you to be productive at your own life goals and maintain responsibilities with ease.

 

This doesn't mean you cannot have fun and enjoy life; if anything it gives you more clarity in life.

As for what others think; that's their perception. Don't listen to their words and work on yourself.

[idiot_stimpy]

I think there is a difference between being responsible in your outside life and being responsible for your inside life.

[zanshin]

Hell to the no!

Edited April 19, 2020 by zanshin

[Eric23]

I am old and have lots of responsibilities...

Ditto, however I have started to dance a lot more.

 

 

Edit: sp

Edited April 9, 2014 by Eric23

[liminal_luke]

At the risk of sounding like one of those quasi-scientific newage types who spout off about quantum this and that with no knowledge of physics, I'd like to borrow a technical term from a subject I know little about as a metaphor. I just love the concept of false yang from chinese medicine You know, something that looks like real yang but isn't.

 

Seems to me that when people talk about maturity and fun they are mostly talking about false maturity and false fun. False fun is what immature people do when they want to look like they are having a good time. False maturity is the pose of people who don't know how to enjoy themselves but want to be respected.

 

One hallmark of true maturity is a capacity for real fun.

 

Liminal

[BaguaKicksAss]

oh screw that you aren't mature enough crap. As long as you pay your bills who cares? The more responsibility one takes on, the more stress and health problems come along with it.

 

There are thousands of poems and sayings around the internet about how when one gets old, it is time to live the life we never allowed ourselves to before, and how much of life was missed out on.

 

See that video of the 80 year old guy skateboarding?

 

I think that those who say grow up, are just jealous of the more fun the "irresponsible" folks have .

 

My friends all seem to think I'm responsible, this does surprise me sometimes. I like to take the odd day off work just to go hiking, or take a good nap. I also like to plan vacations 2 days in advance other times. I always pay my rent early though, and tend to show up on time or early for appointments, and have yet to have to cancel a Bagua class I'm teaching.

 

If you search the internet, you can find quite a few motivational posters which talk about how "I tried adulthood and responsibility and found it wasn't for me". I think people are starting to find out what is more important to them.

 

Also:

 

Warning
by Jenny Joseph

WHEN I AM AN OLD WOMAN I SHALL WEAR PURPLE
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

Taken from the book
When I Am An Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple
Editd by Sandra Martz
Papier Mache Press--Watsonville, California 1987

[Unseen_Abilities]

I am becoming a "mature and responsible adult" in my own way (a good effort considering the life I've had), but what does that even mean? Who's to define what "mature and responsible" is?

 

Krishnamurti: "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."

 

U_S

[Aetherous]

I'm working incredibly hard on it (because my teachers say that it's necessary to support yourself by your own honest work, and not live off of others' work, like your parents...while also having more than enough money to be able to help others and provide for the ones you're supposed to).

Edited April 9, 2014 by Aetherous

[Marblehead]

I am becoming a "mature and responsible adult" in my own way (a good effort considering the life I've had), but what does that even mean? Who's to define what "mature and responsible" is?

 

Krishnamurti: "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."

 

U_S

Valid thoughts. I think that if we cause others no unnecessary inconvenience then we are doing pretty good.

[GrandmasterP]

Mature is to respect difference in others and treat every different kind of folks, even the contrary ones ( including parents if you are young) as we hope that they'd treat us.

Responsibility is not letting anyone down including oneself.

Those two can be a joy or a burden depending on how we choose to view them.

Joy's best.

Edited April 9, 2014 by GrandmasterP

[Rara]

Yeah, the ones that think they are mature and responsible often are - in their own heads. I can find many ways to pick holes in what they perceive as mature and responsible though. But that's not my business.

 

I have my own construct of what I deem mature and responsible. I just stick to that and if people don't like it, they can suck it.

 

See how mature I am?

Edited April 9, 2014 by Rara

[Marblehead]

... they can suck it.

 

See how mature I am?

Hehehe.

[Unseen_Abilities]

Yeah, the ones that think they are mature and responsible often are - in their own heads. I can find many ways to pick holes in what they perceive as mature and responsible though. But that's not my business.

 

I have my own construct of what I deem mature and responsible. I just stick to that and if people don't like it, they can suck it.

 

See how mature I am?

Mature as f*ck, mate.

 

Ehhhhhh

[skydog]

I choose

Edited April 9, 2014 by skydog

[Marblehead]

Well Skydog, you asked a lot of valid questions. I wouldn't be able to fairly speak to any of the questions because I grew up in a different world at a different time than most folks here.

 

I feel that being self-supporting is a very important aspect of being mature and responsible. Granted, there are some who never get the opportunity to do so. Not having the opportunity is likely not their fault. But if the opportunities are there and one does not go after the opportunities I would question why.

 

I see nothing wrong with the Sages of old begging for alms because that was their tradition and they were giving back to society, in most cases, far more than they were receiving.

 

As long as one is contributing to their own well-being in some way I see no problem. But in my eyes, to expect society to take care of us and for us to give nothing in return, is a flaw, I think.

 

So sure, we don't have to play society's games but then we shouldn't expect society to play ours. That old "scratch my back and I'll scratch your" thing is still valid today, IMO.

[thelerner]

I don't think its about a job, but taking on responsibilities forces people to grow and mature. We don't have a firm divide in Western culture, but the difference between a boy and man is the amount of responsibility they take on. Much of that is taking responsibility for their own lives and decisions.

 

This is an admittedly harsh article, but its got some truths in it. Our society is what it is. To get along in it, often means work and sacrifice.

 

http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/

excerpt:

 

'Let's say that the person you love the most has just been shot. He or she is lying in the street, bleeding and screaming. A guy rushes up and says, "Step aside." He looks over your loved one's bullet wound and pulls out a pocket knife -- he's going to operate right there in the street.

"OK, which one is the injured one?"

You ask, "Are you a doctor?"

The guy says, "No."

 

You say, "But you know what you're doing, right? You're an old Army medic, or ..."

At this point the guy becomes annoyed. He tells you that he is a nice guy, he is honest, he is always on time. He tells you that he is a great son to his mother and has a rich life full of fulfilling hobbies, and he boasts that he never uses foul language.

Confused, you say, "How does any of that fucking matter when my [wife/husband/best friend/parent] is lying here bleeding! I need somebody who knows how to operate on bullet wounds! Can you do that or not?!?"

 

Now the man becomes agitated -- why are you being shallow and selfish? Do you not care about any of his other good qualities? Didn't you just hear him say that he always remembers his girlfriend's birthday? In light of all of the good things he does, does it really matter if he knows how to perform surgery?

 

In that panicked moment, you will take your bloody hands and shake him by the shoulders, screaming, "Yes, I'm saying that none of that other shit matters, because in this specific situation, I just need somebody who can stop the bleeding, you crazy fucking asshole."

I don't get it. Would it help if I put on a lab jacket? Here, one sec, let me just ..."

 

So here is my terrible truth about the adult world: You are in that very situation every single day. Only you are the confused guy with the pocket knife. All of society is the bleeding gunshot victim.

 

If you want to know why society seems to shun you, or why you seem to get no respect, it's because society is full of people who need things. They need houses built, they need food to eat, they need entertainment, they need fulfilling sexual relationships. You arrived at the scene of that emergency, holding your pocket knife, by virtue of your birth -- the moment you came into the world, you became part of a system designed purely to see to people's needs.

"Here's that shit you needed. Now fuck off."

 

Either you will go about the task of seeing to those needs by learning a unique set of skills, or the world will reject you, no matter how kind, giving, and polite you are. You will be poor, you will be alone, you will be left out in the cold.

Does that seem mean, or crass, or materialistic? What about love and kindness -- don't those things matter? Of course. As long as they result in you doing things for people that they can't get elsewhere. For you see ... '

 

 

David Wong has a couple articles like this. They're not nice.. but I they're important. I read them every now and then to remind myself about some truths in getting along in this world. You can't argue with the world. You don't have to agree with it. But you need to find, to make a comfortable spot in it. To do that you have to know the rules, and create a plan that allows you to thrive while keeping to your morality and code. It can be done, but it won't be easy.

 

 

 

In the name of equal time, let me throw in a rebuttal by Alex: http://screengrab.me/2013/03/04/rebutting-david-wongs-6-harsh-truths/ excerpt:

 

'His affinity for Alec Baldwin’s speech in Glengarry Glen Ross is a case in point:

“It’s brutal, rude and borderline sociopathic, and also it is an honest and accurate expression of what the world is going to expect from you. The difference is that, in the real world, people consider it so wrong to talk to you that way that they’ve decided it’s better to simply let you keep failing.”

 

Apparently, you won’t be a “better person” unless you realize that a rude, outspoken corporate manager is actually just telling you the truth. But, at the same time, in the “real world,” it’s also “true” that no one tells you anything like this or in this way. Here, as he does throughout the piece, Pargin struggles to reconcile the different forms that truths take – it just isn’t possible to have an outspoken, “harsh” truth that resides in an alleged “reality” of silence at the exact moment when that same truth would be most applicable. It may as well be two different truths, and I think it is.

 

As a side note, it’s worth pointing out that Pargin is misunderstanding Glengarry Glen Ross. The Baldwin character was inserted into the film version of David Mamet’s play as a parody of the overzealous, bullshitting alpha types that take hold of organizations and run them into the ground (neither the play nor the film exactly ends happily; the result of all these guys “closing” is the ruination of lives and the collapse of business. Wait, that sounds a lot like what happened to “the world” after 2007..)'

 

 

final edit> I understand the rebuttal. Wong/Pargin's (same guy) article is not perfect; yet in the debate, if there was one, I'd be on his side.

 

really last edit> I figure I'm about 76% mature. Nice to know I still have something to shoot for .

[Rara]

I resent the way most people think Im a piece of shit cos I dont work.

 

It makes me feel like I have to defend myself and attack people back.

I used to be in this place. I went self-employed in the end...that way I can still do what I want to do with minimal slavery.

 

But if you feel threatened by other people's opinion, begin meditating on this...reacting with anger will only give them more fuel and also attract you to getting into fights with this kind...

[skydog]

I don't think its about a job, but taking on responsibilities forces people to grow and mature. We don't have a firm divide in Western culture, but the difference between a boy and man is the amount of responsibility they take on. Much of that is taking responsibility for their own lives and decisions.

 

This is an admittedly harsh article, but its got some truths in it. Our society is what it is. To get along in it, often means work and sacrifice.

 

http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/

excerpt:

 

'Let's say that the person you love the most has just been shot. He or she is lying in the street, bleeding and screaming. A guy rushes up and says, "Step aside." He looks over your loved one's bullet wound and pulls out a pocket knife -- he's going to operate right there in the street.

 

"OK, which one is the injured one?"

You ask, "Are you a doctor?"

The guy says, "No."

 

You say, "But you know what you're doing, right? You're an old Army medic, or ..."

At this point the guy becomes annoyed. He tells you that he is a nice guy, he is honest, he is always on time. He tells you that he is a great son to his mother and has a rich life full of fulfilling hobbies, and he boasts that he never uses foul language.

Confused, you say, "How does any of that fucking matter when my [wife/husband/best friend/parent] is lying here bleeding! I need somebody who knows how to operate on bullet wounds! Can you do that or not?!?"

 

Now the man becomes agitated -- why are you being shallow and selfish? Do you not care about any of his other good qualities? Didn't you just hear him say that he always remembers his girlfriend's birthday? In light of all of the good things he does, does it really matter if he knows how to perform surgery?

 

In that panicked moment, you will take your bloody hands and shake him by the shoulders, screaming, "Yes, I'm saying that none of that other shit matters, because in this specific situation, I just need somebody who can stop the bleeding, you crazy fucking asshole."

I don't get it. Would it help if I put on a lab jacket? Here, one sec, let me just ..."

 

So here is my terrible truth about the adult world: You are in that very situation every single day. Only you are the confused guy with the pocket knife. All of society is the bleeding gunshot victim.

 

If you want to know why society seems to shun you, or why you seem to get no respect, it's because society is full of people who need things. They need houses built, they need food to eat, they need entertainment, they need fulfilling sexual relationships. You arrived at the scene of that emergency, holding your pocket knife, by virtue of your birth -- the moment you came into the world, you became part of a system designed purely to see to people's needs.

 

"Here's that shit you needed. Now fuck off."

 

Either you will go about the task of seeing to those needs by learning a unique set of skills, or the world will reject you, no matter how kind, giving, and polite you are. You will be poor, you will be alone, you will be left out in the cold.

Does that seem mean, or crass, or materialistic? What about love and kindness -- don't those things matter? Of course. As long as they result in you doing things for people that they can't get elsewhere. For you see ... '

 

 

David Wong has a couple articles like this. They're not nice.. but I they're important. I read them every now and then to remind myself about some truths in getting along in this world. You can't argue with the world. You don't have to agree with it. But you need to find, to make a comfortable spot in it. To do that you have to know the rules, and create a plan that allows you to thrive while keeping to your morality and code. It can be done, but it won't be easy.

 

 

 

In the name of equal time, let me throw in a rebuttal by Alex: http://screengrab.me/2013/03/04/rebutting-david-wongs-6-harsh-truths/ excerpt:

 

'His affinity for Alec Baldwin’s speech in Glengarry Glen Ross is a case in point:

“It’s brutal, rude and borderline sociopathic, and also it is an honest and accurate expression of what the world is going to expect from you. The difference is that, in the real world, people consider it so wrong to talk to you that way that they’ve decided it’s better to simply let you keep failing.”

 

Apparently, you won’t be a “better person” unless you realize that a rude, outspoken corporate manager is actually just telling you the truth. But, at the same time, in the “real world,” it’s also “true” that no one tells you anything like this or in this way. Here, as he does throughout the piece, Pargin struggles to reconcile the different forms that truths take – it just isn’t possible to have an outspoken, “harsh” truth that resides in an alleged “reality” of silence at the exact moment when that same truth would be most applicable. It may as well be two different truths, and I think it is.

 

As a side note, it’s worth pointing out that Pargin is misunderstanding Glengarry Glen Ross. The Baldwin character was inserted into the film version of David Mamet’s play as a parody of the overzealous, bullshitting alpha types that take hold of organizations and run them into the ground (neither the play nor the film exactly ends happily; the result of all these guys “closing” is the ruination of lives and the collapse of business. Wait, that sounds a lot like what happened to “the world” after 2007..)'

 

 

final edit> I understand the rebuttal. Wong/Pargin's (same guy) article is not perfect; yet in the debate, if there was one, I'd be on his side.

 

You have some good points in your post, and some things I can agree with.

 

My only problem with your post is that admittedly and not fully wrongly I tend to disagree with the way a lot of things in society are done, I can see/understand 1 million power/manipulation games played, and yeh I watched a lot of conspiracy stuff, some of it is exaggerated, but some of it is true.

[skydog]

I used to be in this place. I went self-employed in the end...that way I can still do what I want to do with minimal slavery.

 

But if you feel threatened by other people's opinion, begin meditating on this...reacting with anger will only give them more fuel and also attract you to getting into fights with this kind...

 

yep

Edited April 9, 2014 by skydog

[suninmyeyes]

.................................... lost the post

Edited April 9, 2014 by suninmyeyes

[Captain Mar-Vell]

...

I tink so.

 

But my x missus sure didn't.

 

I guess its debatable.

 

18 'till I die, baby.

 

18 'till I die.

...

Edited April 9, 2014 by Captain Mar-Vell

[Unseen_Abilities]

I used to be in this place. I went self-employed in the end...that way I can still do what I want to do with minimal slavery.

 

But if you feel threatened by other people's opinion, begin meditating on this...reacting with anger will only give them more fuel and also attract you to getting into fights with this kind...

What do you do for work by yourself then Rara?