making small talk

[sunchild]

the meditative advances i've made recently, have seemed to manifest into my day-to-day routine outside of my spiritual practices. it's like the more "progress" i'm make, the more inept i'm slowly becoming at holding "normal" conversations with those around me. waving with a greeting in mind already is one thing, but to sit down and hold "light"/casual conversation is beginning to seem like pure cognitive dissonance. it's like my mind is a lot more calm than it has been in the past, to be completely honest it feels quite empty sometimes- which is what makes me feel so inept sometimes and "very boring". i don't have those fantastical daydreams or crude far-reaching jokes anymore.

which is odd because whenever the conversation calls for "deeper"/philosophic thought, i instantly just start rambling coherent sentences that surprise me sometimes, but small talk is becoming harder to take up- it kind of worries me now. this is most noticeable in my relationship (deteriorating) because of this and my "changes" i've been going through. i feel it's somewhat due to the isolation- many things my mind seems to have "dropped" on its own accord.

 

has this happened to anyone else? any advice?

[Marblehead]

Remember the middle way.

I just wanted to repeat this. (It's important!)

[RiverSnake]

Yes…..this has happened to me. It can be a difficult transition…stepping into the void in your everyday life that it is. You fall of the grid in many ways. Remain gounded and you should be fine.

 

My 2 cents, Peace

Edited April 10, 2014 by OldChi

[liminal_luke]

Some questions to consider...

 

I think a lot of the time when we're not doing something it's because there's at least a part of us that doesn't want to do it. So...do you really want to make small talk? If you could make small talk, would you? Do you value small talk, or are you in some way proud of the fact that it's hard for you now? If, for instance, you hold the believe that spiritual people don't engage in light frivolous conversation then that would obviously get in the way.

 

Liminal

[Stosh]

the meditative advances i've made recently, have seemed to manifest into my day-to-day routine outside of my spiritual practices. it's like the more "progress" i'm make, the more inept i'm slowly becoming at holding "normal" conversations with those around me. waving with a greeting in mind already is one thing, but to sit down and hold "light"/casual conversation is beginning to seem like pure cognitive dissonance. it's like my mind is a lot more calm than it has been in the past, to be completely honest it feels quite empty sometimes- which is what makes me feel so inept sometimes and "very boring". i don't have those fantastical daydreams or crude far-reaching jokes anymore.

which is odd because whenever the conversation calls for "deeper"/philosophic thought, i instantly just start rambling coherent sentences that surprise me sometimes, but small talk is becoming harder to take up- it kind of worries me now. this is most noticeable in my relationship (deteriorating) because of this and my "changes" i've been going through. i feel it's somewhat due to the isolation- many things my mind seems to have "dropped" on its own accord.

 

has this happened to anyone else? any advice?

Yknow, , the light rambling verbal exchanges which might seem boring right now, really just serve the purpose of emotionally connecting. Engaging in such , should be done for that reason, because you wish to be in touch with someone else. It may be that as you look closer at yourself , the"important" stuff to you is this stuff. I figure , at some point , you wont be so concerned with the internal things , and youll be settled about it. When that has come about , youll see the important thing has become the small talk again... but from a new perspective.

Id hope you dont put the folks around you on a shelf until that happens though, make time for each, and not in a stingy way , but with an enthusiastic rich way. Pay attention to what is going on , dont rush back to private self consultation.

I know I personally havent done enough of that.

So you can use me as an object lesson , as in .." dont let this happen to you!"

And yes , skip trying to be funny , or exciting , let them be funny and exciting just being patiently ready for them to appreciate this stuff in themselves , helps make it go there , because they want to have a good time too.

Edited April 10, 2014 by Stosh

[GrandmasterP]

Show an interest in what they are saying.

Ask questions.

Listen.

People love that, they chat away , you don't to have to do much or any small talk and they go away thinking what a wonderful person you are.. saying....

" He's such a good listener."

Edited April 10, 2014 by GrandmasterP

[Bearded Dragon]

I'm not one for small-talk. Never have been. I like interesting conversations but small-talk is just pointless words to pass the time. In effect it is wasting time (if you ever have time to begin with). It's nothing to do with meditation other than that you're becoming more aware of how pointless certain things are.

 

The effect is that the conversations you do have should be higher quality because you're leaving all the crap behind.

[RiverSnake]

I actually just recently went through a phase where I unintentionally dropped about 90% of my friends. Lived In a social vacuum for about a couple off months...funny thing is I focus so much on cultivation that I barely even noticed. However now I am noticing that I am attracting new friends....and the majority are all cultivators and martial artists.

 

As you go through internal changes, external reality will slowly mirror the internal.

 

My 2 cents, Peace

Edited April 11, 2014 by OldChi

[dee]

A: Hi how are you,

 

B: Good, and you?

 

A: Good.

 

A: Smile and walk away.

 

Just adapt to everyday situations.

[Bearded Dragon]

A: Hi how are you,

 

B: Good, and you?

 

A: Good.

 

A: Smile and walk away.

 

Just adapt to everyday situations.

 

I just skip the "and you?" part. It's funny because I've got this a few times on the phone...

 

A: Hi, how are you?

 

B: I'm pretty well.

 

A: I'm good, thanks.

 

It shows the level of awareness and social programming of some people.

[dee]

I normally try to say something unexpected. I say I'm terrible. Crap and so on. It ends up in laughs.

 

Unfortunately for business meetings you must say good.

[Captain Mar-Vell]

...

I love small talk.

 

If anyone wants to come into the marvellous taobums chat room.

 

We could chat about 'toons.

 

I like to relax with 'toons.

 

All cool doodz welcome.

 

All good brothas an' sistas.

 

QUANTUM FOOM

 

...

Edited April 11, 2014 by Captain Mar-Vell

[Spotless]

the meditative advances i've made recently, have seemed to manifest into my day-to-day routine outside of my spiritual practices. it's like the more "progress" i'm make, the more inept i'm slowly becoming at holding "normal" conversations with those around me. waving with a greeting in mind already is one thing, but to sit down and hold "light"/casual conversation is beginning to seem like pure cognitive dissonance. it's like my mind is a lot more calm than it has been in the past, to be completely honest it feels quite empty sometimes- which is what makes me feel so inept sometimes and "very boring". i don't have those fantastical daydreams or crude far-reaching jokes anymore.

which is odd because whenever the conversation calls for "deeper"/philosophic thought, i instantly just start rambling coherent sentences that surprise me sometimes, but small talk is becoming harder to take up- it kind of worries me now. this is most noticeable in my relationship (deteriorating) because of this and my "changes" i've been going through. i feel it's somewhat due to the isolation- many things my mind seems to have "dropped" on its own accord.

 

has this happened to anyone else? any advice?

Congratulations!

The false personality is not enjoying this but you are emerging to your intuition and all that is available to you.

 

Your quote with my comments in underlined:

 

"the meditative advances i've made recently, have seemed to manifest into my day-to-day routine outside of my spiritual practices. it's like the more "progress" i'm make, the more inept i'm slowly becoming at holding "normal" conversations with those around me. (You have been dis-assembling your reactive machanisms which is largely what "normal" conversations are - they are mostly robotic - meditation ebbs away at these connections) waving with a greeting in mind already is one thing, but to sit down and hold "light"/casual conversation is beginning to seem like pure cognitive dissonance. it's like my mind is a lot more calm than it has been in the past, to be completely honest it feels quite empty sometimes- which is what makes me feel so inept sometimes and "very boring".(Your self image is a projection of "your story" and again it has a robotic nature once attached to a picture you have of yourself within some context - it is expecting the typical sparring and vacouous filling of the voids that is part of our sleepwalking daydream) i don't have those fantastical daydreams or crude far-reaching jokes anymore. (You have also started to dis-assemble the thoughtforms that have a mechanical effect of generating spontaneous blabbler that creates a false air of quick wittedness and creativity - these thoughtforms interact with like vibe thoughtforms and can increase your vibration quickly, thus allowing for a whole host of beings to enter into the topic - it is often the precurser to becoming intoxicated) which is odd because whenever the conversation calls for "deeper"/philosophic thought, i instantly just start rambling coherent sentences that surprise me sometimes (The you that is not you is speaking) , but small talk is becoming harder to take up- it kind of worries me now. this is most noticeable in my relationship (deteriorating) because of this and my "changes" i've been going through. (be aware that the angst you are feeling is the loss of "the animator" and or the automated response as the "animated", it has been a part of your story for most of your life - it feels empty because you have not replaced the behavior - and you do not need to replace it with some false impression of self improtance - your are loosing the bozo) i feel it's somewhat due to the isolation- many things my mind seems to have "dropped" on its own accord.

(there are few things your mind should not drop - it has no need to take up most things - it grasps them - this is not to say that a good well honed mind is not extremely useful because it is fairly necessary - but for the most part the dropping is a fair indicator that you are doing very well on your path - your choice of the word "dropping" is extremely apt and telling. The loneliness or isolation is for a great number of reasons - one - you have dropped a whole group of robotic thoughtforms and other mechanistic circuitry that you took as who you are. Secondly - you are becoming established in your intuition - trusting this seems very awkward at first - for one thing you are probably looking at things or people without judging them - without thinking - without accessing - just sitting there viewing - it kinda seems stupid - like - your brain is dull or on hold or something.

It is not - this is when something like Qi Gong can be of great benifit - you build upon the lower dan tien and move out of your head a bit - the physicality is very helpful, particularly if you find this isolation/"dullness" emasculating)

 

End of Quote and comments.

 

Being present (quiet) may not seem so easy because of prior inertia but notice when you slip into future concern - this can be noticed by the dis-ease, edge or angst it brings - let it be noticed as incorrect thinking, incorrect action and be back again in now.

This happens less on a full battery so again - Qi Gong is very helpful. The less you vasilate the less you dissipate your energies. Posture is very helpful - the subtleties of posture within most practices are the reasons that most teachers cannot work with you on a high level - very fine subleties take time to feel and as you feel them you make adjustments that have tremendous effects. There are physical postures and energetic postures - for the most part the physical postures are what I am talking about above, energetic postures would be dealt with in higher teaching and addressed mechanically by mere practice.

 

Thank you for giving us such clean insight into your situation by the construction of your original post.

All the very best to you!

 

(By the way - you have a considerable build up of white blocking energy just above and around your navel and out to about 4 inches - like a thick cloud) No worry but thought you might like to know - for some reason this showed itself to me quite clearly.

[sunchild]

Congratulations!

The false personality is not enjoying this but you are emerging to your intuition and all that is available to you.

 

Your quote with my comments in underlined:

 

"the meditative advances i've made recently, have seemed to manifest into my day-to-day routine outside of my spiritual practices. it's like the more "progress" i'm make, the more inept i'm slowly becoming at holding "normal" conversations with those around me. (You have been dis-assembling your reactive machanisms which is largely what "normal" conversations are - they are mostly robotic - meditation ebbs away at these connections) waving with a greeting in mind already is one thing, but to sit down and hold "light"/casual conversation is beginning to seem like pure cognitive dissonance. it's like my mind is a lot more calm than it has been in the past, to be completely honest it feels quite empty sometimes- which is what makes me feel so inept sometimes and "very boring".(Your self image is a projection of "your story" and again it has a robotic nature once attached to a picture you have of yourself within some context - it is expecting the typical sparring and vacouous filling of the voids that is part of our sleepwalking daydream) i don't have those fantastical daydreams or crude far-reaching jokes anymore. (You have also started to dis-assemble the thoughtforms that have a mechanical effect of generating spontaneous blabbler that creates a false air of quick wittedness and creativity - these thoughtforms interact with like vibe thoughtforms and can increase your vibration quickly, thus allowing for a whole host of beings to enter into the topic - it is often the precurser to becoming intoxicated) which is odd because whenever the conversation calls for "deeper"/philosophic thought, i instantly just start rambling coherent sentences that surprise me sometimes (The you that is not you is speaking) , but small talk is becoming harder to take up- it kind of worries me now. this is most noticeable in my relationship (deteriorating) because of this and my "changes" i've been going through. (be aware that the angst you are feeling is the loss of "the animator" and or the automated response as the "animated", it has been a part of your story for most of your life - it feels empty because you have not replaced the behavior - and you do not need to replace it with some false impression of self improtance - your are loosing the bozo) i feel it's somewhat due to the isolation- many things my mind seems to have "dropped" on its own accord.

(there are few things your mind should not drop - it has no need to take up most things - it grasps them - this is not to say that a good well honed mind is not extremely useful because it is fairly necessary - but for the most part the dropping is a fair indicator that you are doing very well on your path - your choice of the word "dropping" is extremely apt and telling. The loneliness or isolation is for a great number of reasons - one - you have dropped a whole group of robotic thoughtforms and other mechanistic circuitry that you took as who you are. Secondly - you are becoming established in your intuition - trusting this seems very awkward at first - for one thing you are probably looking at things or people without judging them - without thinking - without accessing - just sitting there viewing - it kinda seems stupid - like - your brain is dull or on hold or something.

It is not - this is when something like Qi Gong can be of great benifit - you build upon the lower dan tien and move out of your head a bit - the physicality is very helpful, particularly if you find this isolation/"dullness" emasculating)

 

End of Quote and comments.

 

Being present (quiet) may not seem so easy because of prior inertia but notice when you slip into future concern - this can be noticed by the dis-ease, edge or angst it brings - let it be noticed as incorrect thinking, incorrect action and be back again in now.

This happens less on a full battery so again - Qi Gong is very helpful. The less you vasilate the less you dissipate your energies. Posture is very helpful - the subtleties of posture within most practices are the reasons that most teachers cannot work with you on a high level - very fine subleties take time to feel and as you feel them you make adjustments that have tremendous effects. There are physical postures and energetic postures - for the most part the physical postures are what I am talking about above, energetic postures would be dealt with in higher teaching and addressed mechanically by mere practice.

 

Thank you for giving us such clean insight into your situation by the construction of your original post.

All the very best to you!

 

(By the way - you have a considerable build up of white blocking energy just above and around your navel and out to about 4 inches - like a thick cloud) No worry but thought you might like to know - for some reason this showed itself to me quite clearly.

thank you for that thorough critique.

 

i am taking up qigong soon (probably sfq) as well as mouni sadhu's "concentration". just have to save up a little

 

(By the way - you have a considerable build up of white blocking energy just above and around your navel and out to about 4 inches - like a thick cloud) No worry but thought you might like to know - for some reason this showed itself to me quite clearly.

what does this mean in terms a novice can understand? is there an immediate solution?

 

you are advanced.

[Spotless]

I had intended to remove that before anyone replied - it is gone now so no worries - I don't want to get into readings here but at the time I thought you may already know how to deal with it. I just happened to glance your way and there it was clearly.

Edited April 12, 2014 by Spotless