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LAOLONG

religion & shit

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Taoism= the shit that can be spoken is not eternal shit
soto zen= when you shit in meditation you are Buddha
Tibetan Buddhism= this shit is a reincarnation of a holy shit

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Zen master Ummon, who, upon being asked "What is Buddha?" replied: "A dry shit on a stick". The stick he meant was a special toilet instrument for cleaning the remote parts of our body. Therefore, before we criticize master Dogen for his rather vulgar insults and comparisons, we should realize that he is making a link to master Ummon, whom he honored very much. To understand Dogen's bizarre story we must first understand the koan, a story in which the master Ummon says that Buddha is the same as a dry shit on a stick. Master Ummon simply says that Buddha is the same as reality before our eyes. If there is a dry shit on a stick right in front of our eyes, then reality is just a dry shit on a stick. Thus Buddha is a dry shit on a stick. If it still seems disrespectful, imagine how the historical Buddha taught somewhere: "I'm mountains, rivers, forests, skies, clouds, grass, all living and non-living beings, earthworms, sand, wind, rocks, but certainly I'm not a shit. And certainly not a shit on a stick, something you wipe your ass with." When Buddha attained enlightenment, he said that together with him all things and all beings attained it. Enlightenment means to wake up to reality and reality does not exclude anything, so even a dry turd on a stick is necessarily a part of the enlightened reality.

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"For his bravery, David was asked to come forth, but he slipped on a camel turd and came fifth. Shit flew at Random, but Random ducked and Shit hit the King in the face. "Shit!" said the King and the whole nation squatted and groaned."

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