gratitude for psilocybin experiences

[silent thunder]

 

silent thunder, on 08 May 2014 - 20:18, said:

psilocybin mushrooms on two occasions allowed me to realize and release decades of pent up useless behaviors...

 

 

I was asked in PM to expand on these experiences, so I figured I'd put it out here in case it would be of use or interest to anyone else...

 

 

So in one of my psilocybin experiences, my wife and a good friend and I had decided to take the train up the Hudson river to a spot called Breakneck Ridge. It's a spot where the train stops at a little wooden platform along the river at the trail head that leads up to the cliff that bears the name.

 

We brought along mushrooms and ate them on the train. When we arrived and started on the trail we were already under the effects.

 

My wife sort of settled back behind my friend and I on the trail, as when I'm on mushrooms I go through a phase where I tend to want to run and sprint and climb and really get into the kinetic experience of the body and she is more contemplative. My buddy fell in beside me and soon we were sprinting up the trail to the cliffs overhead.

 

When we turned the last corner among the trees along the top of the ridge, (the cliff was maybe 700-800 feet above the forest floor overlooking the river) we disturbed somewhere in the neighborhood of 35-40 redtail hawks who lived in the area. They had been sitting in the trees all along the ridge and upon us bursting into the area, they exploded up into the sky all around us.

 

I was completely jarred into silence and stillness by the sight. After some minutes of stunned witness of them, I settled down near the slope of the cliff edge and started to do a meditation I call flying. It's where you sit head down on a hill so you can't see the ground and the sensation of being upside down would give me the sense of flying.

 

My buddy came and lay down next to me and after a time of us being silent and still, the hawks began to settle into their usual routine of riding the thermals along the cliff edge. As we lay there watching the hawks floating, they became so used to our presence that they would float over us, within mere inches, well within arm's reach.

 

I remember being struck by how 'effortless' their flight was... merely opening their arms and being lifted up by the warm air. Staring off into the sky around me, I was struck then, by this epiphany.

 

I realized that for as far back as I could recall, I had been living in anger. That in each day, living in NYC, I was finding something in my local environment that I could be pissed off at and with good reason. I realized that for untold weeks and months, maybe years, I had fallen into a pattern of perception which was focused, really obsessed with focusing on what was wrong and that was engendering a reaction of anger at how unnecessary it was...

 

In that moment, I realized that there would always be something nearby to be angry about, to be upset at; that in any given moment there could always be something that was amiss, wrong or imbalanced and that if I continued in my current way of perception, that it would be possible for my entire life to pass away with me living in this constant state of anger and derision for what I perceived to be wrong with the world.

 

And then I let it go. Just like my brothers and sisters floating effortlessly... in my mind I just spread my wings and let go and started to float and the inertia of that anger melted. The most incredible sensations of joy and weightlessness overcame me. Tears of joy and waves of ecstasy replaced years of judgement and anger.

 

Now this isn't to say that I never grow angry any more, or that I just turn my head and avoid things that are wrong, or that upset me. Far from it. I'm engaged fully with the world and I don't bury my head in the sand over things that are messed up. However, what I no longer do is feed that perpetual machine of judgement and anger. I focus my life on what I can heal and on what I can do to enjoy what is right with the world more fully.

 

The second mushroom realization I had was in line with this first one, but it related to how I interact with people and relationships, rather than how I view the world and it is summed up much more simply... I don't know the source of the quote but it paraphrases like this

 

"An entire sea of water can't sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. Similarly, the negativity of the world can't take your joy unless you allow it to get inside you."

 

While talking with my wife at our kitchen table, we got onto the subject of what the source of my disdain for people was; for some time I had been extremely depressed and was a serious misanthrope. She had great instinct and was pressing me on the process of how I related to people and in my trying to explain to her how I viewed people and related to them, I came to the realization that in my energetic and spiritual practice I had somehow come to the belief that I had to take what other people were putting out, into myself in order to understand it, so that I could counteract it and transmute it into light and love.

 

While sitting there at the table under the influence of psilocybins, epiphany hit again and I realized that all I was doing, in trying to take other people's darkness and negativity into myself, was putting myself into a dark, hurtful place. I had been operating under a massive misconception that I somehow needed to 'understand' them in order to help; when in reality, what I needed to do, was to be myself, live my truth and allow my joy to flow and in this way, healing would be possible for both of us.

 

It's quite possible that I could have come to both of these realizations without the psilocybins, however what transpired, was that in the altered state of perception due to the mushrooms, these realizations came to my mind so naturally and beautifully that I could not possibly go back to seeing the world the way it had before.

 

So I have deep gratitude for the presence of those mushrooms and those experiences.

 

[thelerner]

Thanks for the write up. Seems like you've had experience with shrooms. Have all your experiences been positive?

[gianni]

I'd like to know other's experiences,if ther'are any,'cause I found this account very intresting.( never had myself such experience)

[silent thunder]

Thanks for the write up. Seems like you've had experience with shrooms. Have all your experiences been positive?

 

Definitely.

 

Though the particular portion of the second experience I wrote about wasn't particularly easy or pleasant while we were talking about it, it was overall extremely positive and so were my other experiences.

 

Incidentally we almost always work with it in groups and outside in nature.

 

edit: spelling

Edited May 13, 2014 by silent thunder

[Creation]

silent thunder,

 

I think I might need to learn some similar lessons. Thank you for sharing.

[silent thunder]

silent thunder,

 

I think I might need to learn some similar lessons. Thank you for sharing.

*deep bow*

[deci belle]

❤!!

[Spotless]

I had a wonderful experience with mushrooms up in the Yosemite area.

 

Someone told me of a Secret Campground area - they said know one would be there at that time of the year (early spring).

 

It was out a way and hidden under the canopy of thick trees was a whole creek area.

 

I set up camp and at about 6 am I woke up and took the mushrooms and went back to sleep.

About 45 minutes later I awoke in an exceptionally calm and aware state.

 

While it was hot outside the canopy, it was very comfortable inside and the stream made a pleasant sound that filled the space.

The water was ice cold.

I spent the day naked sitting on a rock that was smooth and in the fashion of a sofa. I had my guitar handy if the desire came to play and the water was there for me whenever I wanted to sit in it and wake up and refresh myself.

 

I spent the day just witnessing the activities of nature.

I watched one tree branch way up in the canopy move over and take an open spot of sun, then I watched another branch from another tree comedown on top of the other branch and move it out of the way and take the sun spot for itself.

 

I watched a spider start from scratch on what became a large web, and rodents moving all about uninterrupted by my presence.

 

I was not use to spending so much waking time with myself having no inertia but to simply be.

The exquisite feelings, the powerful yet force less emanations welling up and through oneself, the sounds of music tapping and glinting the air, each breath breathed through both nostrils like I was drinking in the air, my thick hands and feet that were like hands everything so much more muscular and earthy and intense but with no weight. Eating was a pleasure and playing around in my mouth with these wonderful tastes and textures was this tongue of mine and all the things it is able to do and feel and taste.

 

My chubby face and the incredible water of the electric stream - the water did not feel cold, it felt blue inside me and went up into my head. Rays of sun fell like showers all through the cathedral of the canopy.

 

It was a very nice way to wake up into the day.

Edited May 14, 2014 by Spotless

[silent thunder]

I had a wonderful experience with mushrooms up in the Yosemite area. Someone told me of a Secret Campground area - they said know one would be there at that time of the year (early spring). It was out a way and hidden under the canopy of thick trees was a whole creek area. I set up camp and at about 6 am I woke up and took the mushrooms and went back to sleep. About 45 minutes later I awoke in an exceptionally calm and aware state. While it was hot outside the canopy, it was very comfortable inside and the stream made a pleasant sound that filled the space. The water was ice cold. I spent the day naked sitting on a rock that was smooth and in the fashion of a sofa. I had my guitar handy if the desire came to play and the water was there for me whenever I wanted to sit in it and wake up and refresh myself. I spent the day just witnessing the activities of nature. I watched one tree branch way up in the canopy move over and take an open spot of sun, then I watched another branch from another tree comedown on top of the other branch and move it out of the way and take the sun spot for itself. I watched a spider start from scratch on what became a large web, and rodents moving all about uninterrupted by my presence. I was not use to spending so much waking time with myself having no inertia but to simply be. The exquisite feelings, the powerful yet force less emanations welling up and through oneself, the sounds of music tapping and glinting the air, each breath breathed through both nostrils like I was drinking in the air, my thick hands and feet that were like hands everything so much more muscular and earthy and intense but with no weight. Eating was a pleasure and playing around in my mouth with these wonderful tastes and textures was this tongue of mine and all the things it is able to do and feel and taste. My chubby face and the incredible water of the electric stream - the water did not feel cold, it felt blue inside me and went up into my head. Rays of sun fell like showers all through the cathedral of the canopy. It was a very nice way to wake up into the day.

Wow Spotless... that is amazing! Thanks for sharing.

[skydog]

Thanks for sharing silent thunder

Edited May 13, 2014 by skydog

[Silent Answers]

I've had very similar letting go experiences..I also had pent up anger and judgmental tenancies until I saw them in myself for what they truly were. All of that negative energy, the anger and judging...the only one person it really matters to and affects - is YOU. By allowing you're mind to run away with those emotions, you're effectively criticising and attacking yourself.

[silent thunder]

Ha! I love synchronicity.

 

Found this on a site I haven't been to in months. Seems to fit.

http://www.spiritscienceandmetaphysics.com/magic-mushrooms-may-have-long-lasting-positive-effects-on-personality/