Looking for Help....

[Upfromtheashes]

Well this is a post from a person who is seeking help

Which would be me -

The situation is that my mood is extremely unstable and fluctuates depending on what I eat and other factors which I cant quite quantify-

For example if I eat a high meat diet I may be more energetic but eventually I get so aggressive I cant control it -If I eat very high in sugars and complex carbs and fruits for the first day or two I am very euphoric but after that I am completely spaced out -

What else to say -

I often am extrememely depressed - This switches to not feeling anything at all - This switches to awareness of being in a living hell- This can switch to euphoria or good feelings that eventually become painful after a day or two - And there is also peaceful states where I am watching everything and not affected by it - These unfortunately only tend to last a couple hours at most and they come and go -

My fear and I know it will happen is that when I reply to this I will be a completely different person than I am now -

1 Hour ago I could barely function and I was losing my mind - I took an herbal tea and some vitamins and now I have a mildly manic semi clarity of which I am typing this

I would take the herbal tea and vitamins consistently but the problem is that after several days of doing it they stop working and I just enter a different form of hell -

My energy fluctuates from being unable to move to being able to play tennis with vigor - I am strong but only for short bursts - If I exercise very hard I can enter hell for 2 -3 weeks where I am useless -

If I do not take any vitamins or any herbs I basically become a zombie where I just lie in bed and suffer -

If I take too many or alter my diet in the wrong way I start to lose my mind in a phsychotic manner - The feelings get so awful I cant stand them - My body hurt so badly - I cant breathe at night or am terrified of dying every night -

One of the ways to completely keep from losing it is to stay on the brink of starvation - This is what I did 6 years ago - I had just gotten done with electro convulsive therapy and was losing my mind still - Well I drank a pint to a pint and a half of heavy cream a day and ate maybe half a pound of meat - I stabilized - Unfortunately I barely had enough energy to move - I lost all anger and aggresiveness - had days of bliss but it was not a long term solution -

Now I range from not being able to take care of myself and living in squalor for days to weeks at a time then I have a manic burst of energy and get some things done -

So I am going from states of intense aggitatino to intense withdrawal - States of having intense compulsions and self importance to really no sense of self - And things change rapidly based on what I eat but I havent been able to devise a diet that will consitently stabilize me despite 6 years of trying -

Dont know whether to save sexual energy or not - I am considering just wasting my sexual energy on purpose and just being like a zombie because sometimes it beats being agitated -

The problem with taking things with cover up the agitation and mellow me out is they make me feel flat and lifeless and this seems to happen after a few days - So I continue to swing back and forth -

I dont know exactly how I should be meditating - One pointed awareness seems to make me too rigid even though it does make me feel powerful -

Too much meditation drives me nutty as well - I get detached and completely unemotional as well as lots of other problems

No mediation and I am completely scattered like a leaf on the wind and completely at the mercy of my thoughts -

I cant form relationships with people because one day I care about them the next I dont - Then I care-

I have days where everything looks beautiful and wonderful and the next it is complete shit - I dont really feel anything when talking to people - But sometimes I do - sometimes I feel a joyful sense of connection but it never lasts more than a few hours and can fade-

Basically what I am saying is that my reality is constantly changing and has been like this for 12 years or so and despite my best efforts I cannot control it -

Trying to stabilize myself

Frustrated because when I read this later on I will be a different person and if i wrote this 2 hours from now it would have been completely different and painted and completely different picture of myself

[karen]

Hi upfromtheashes,

 

Glad you asked. It sounds difficult, but I'm sure it's possible to turn this kind of instability around, even though it's been chronic for 12 years. Getting on a good diet will help build a foundation, for sure, but I don't think that meditation practices or dietary change will do the whole job. I'll tell you about a medical system in a minute.

 

But for starters, for your own self-help, I think it would be a good idea to focus on things to help ground yourself. Moderation is the key. Think about how you could bring some routine into your life, whatever small rituals work for you. Meals at the same time every day, or as close to a routine as you can manage. Very simple and gentle practices or ordinary activities like music or art, whatever could give you some sense of grounding. And I would not do any powerful energy practices on your own.

 

This will help to calm the excess Vata energy. If you could do some gentle self-massage with sesame oil, or with Brahmi oil on the head, that would be great. Some nasya oil inhaled, if you can get ahold of it.

 

Then I think that a system of medicine called Heilkunst could be profoundly therapeutic. It's the complete system of medicine discovered by Dr. Hahnemann, which includes homeopathy but goes far beyond it. Heilkunst sees diet, meditation, all those activities as a category called "Regimen." Regimen has an important place, to fill deficiencies and remove excesses, to achieve a balance, according to the "law of opposites" (give something warming when you have a cold condition, for example.)

 

But then there is another category called Medicine, which involves energetic substances that can actually remove disturbances of the life force. This is where the "law of similars" (like cures like) comes in, and is not simply about balance.

 

Regimen and Medicine form a polarity, a bit like yin and yang, and we need both. But whenever there is such a disturbance of the life force, or several, then "regimen" although valuable in its own right, just isn't enough.

 

Heilkunst includes Regimen, Medicine, and Therapeutic Education which is a spiritual journey of understanding the meaning of the healing process you're going through.

 

It's is the only system of medicine I know that can tackle the kinds of complex, chronic conditions that modern people have. The various natural healing practitioners take a stab at these conditions with the tools that they have. But generally when you go to practitioners, each one sees the problem from a different point of view, and would treat it differently, like each person seeing a different leg of the elephant and no one seeing it for what it really is. So those methods are largely hit-or-miss.

 

And I know how frustrating it is to keep throwing this treatment and that treatment at the problem hoping that something will eventually stick.

 

Heilkunst is unique in that it's not just another treatment, but it's like an umbrella over all the natural healing methods, a framework that understands where they all fit in according to known principles of natural law. It's a system of diagnosing and removing the disturbances that are actual impingements or blockages of the life force. The remedies that remove those disturbances are clearly known, and can be applied in a very systematic approach according to the natural laws of cure. Removing causes is completely different from simply trying to manage symptoms.

 

Heilkunst has an estimated 80-90% success rate with all kind of complex, chronic illnesses - and the measure of success isn't just the alleviation of symptoms, but removing the underlying causes. Many other methods can boast dramatic successes in some cases, but their actual rate of success with those conditions is very low.

 

It's rare for people getting Heilkunst treatment to not see significant improvement, unless they decided to stop treatment. And they are working with the very difficult cases, because often people come to Heilkunst after exhausting other possibilities. I personally have been all over the natural health field for 25 years, and have never seen this kind of success anywhere else.

 

When you're sick, you don't have energy to spend running around to zillions of practitioners in a trial-and-error approach, so you want to work in the most efficient way possible. Even though you would paint a different picture of yourself each time, I'm sure there is a theme that would run throughout each picture, which a Heilkunst practitioner would be competent to recognize.

 

What Heilkunst treatment would do would first be to get you stabilized so that you could then start removing all the shocks and traumas that have been lodged in your life force. Even the shock of ECT can be removed. We still have to process the emotions related to those events, but that's a true healing process.

 

The treatment process is like moving forward in a boat - as you move forward you can stir up some turbulence, but you don't want to rock the boat too much. So at times you want to slow that down and just concentrate on stabilizing for a while before picking up speed again. When you know that the boat is taking you where you need to go, you can trust that process. It helps to have a practitioner who can be a proper guide because they have profound understanding of this territory.

 

If you have any interest in pursuing this treatment, or even if you're just curious, here are some intro articles:

"Can't Decide"?

 

"What is Heilkunst"

 

Here is a bit more in-depth Q&A on Heilkunst.

 

Or you could go directly to the main website for the Hahnemann Clinic for Heilkunst. Consults can be done by phone, so you don't have to trek to the Himalayas to find a brilliant healer. Remedies sent by mail. Very accessible and affordable, and options for low-income people.

 

One more note - Heilkunst treatment never interferes with any other kinds of therapies you might want to do, and vice versa.

 

All the best for whatever path you choose,

 

Karen

Edited August 7, 2007 by karen

[mYTHmAKER]

Sounds like you might have hypoglycemia.

Not to worry as a good diet will fix you up in no time.

Decide how you would like to eat i.e vegetarian , cannibal

or somewhere in between. Find a good nutritionist where you live that fits

your persuasion and now here's the tricky part - do what they tell you.

You'll be fine.

[Christoph]

"I cant control it" - negative self programming. As far as meditation I recommend trying Hemi-sync with positive affirmations at theta state. I found this to be quite helpful and I have had depression off and on for 20 years,formally depressed most of the time now only sporadically.

[hagar]

Dear Upfromtheashes

 

I am not qualified to give you any dietary advice.

What I can say is that the problem you mention is not necessarily a problem.

Your own interpretation of how you feel may be adding what you feel. Of course I may be wrong.

 

We all want a quick fix to our lives, and taking in to account that you may suffer from an actual condition, a good working diet may help alot. The truth is that most people suffer from what you describe, in some form or other. We all want firm ground under our feet, and a solid sense of self. Unfortunately that is not usually the case.

 

My suggestion is not to meditate. Better focus on moderation in all aspects of life, and find a way to connect with your body and its emotional energy. Either through qigong, yoga or other body-oriented approaches. The body will tell you what the problem is, and usually relates to feelings we cannot accept or affirm. the best thing is to listen to the body instead of the mind, and accept and care for what it is telling you instead of looking outside for a meditation, technique or diet that will solve the problem.

[Upfromtheashes]

Thank You to everyone for the words