easiest/ hardest thing to do...relax

[fugue]

On the surface relaxation sounds simple, and it is, but for someone who has never experienced it, it can be terrifying. Tension comes unbidden (relaxation must be invited) and has been with most everyone their entire adult life and for many even longer.

The first time I was truly ( well, I say that now) relaxed I felt like I was completely vulnerable. As if, my armor had been stripped leaving my defenseless and exposed. I was scared.

Having that experience taught me about myself and how much hard work it takes for living not to be hard work. It isn't something that just happens on the weekend but a continuous process, a mind set.

To say, "I will not be tense" is easy, but to truly believe it and to integrate it into your life, not so much, for me.

My question to any of you is what is relaxation like for you? And when you find yourself becoming a tension riddled fool then how do you deal with it, personally?

I will do qigong and my forms to help me "wake up". I, also, find compassion helps

[CloudHands]

Something I realized is that every time I feel relaxed that means I reach a new step to dig deeper in my tensions to relax myself a little more. This, mainly because I tend to occult what I don't wanna see. And when I feel like "wooow what an amazing sensation !" even it's a blessing it last only for a moment because the reason why I feel it is that lost the big picture (or the opposite, you never know )

[Rara]

Mindfulness and sinking into a good sofa. Or nice hot bath...taking it all in. Works for me!

 

Learning to identify when you are tense is stage one. Then I practice relaxing muscles whenever I notice tension. It's taken me 4 years so far...still not perfect. But I no longer stiffen up into a board and flip out when under stress now.

Edited May 30, 2014 by Rara

[Marblehead]

Nice topic. Yes, relaxation is good; tension is bad.

 

I have found that relaxation comes upon me whenever I am in a condition where I know nothing can harm me. The concept in the TTC about being beyond death examples this. (Confidence helps too.)

[Rara]

The concept in the TTC about being beyond death examples this. (Confidence helps too.)

Ya. Death certainly does stiffen the body up. Best avoiding it!

[Rara]

Nice topic. Yes, relaxation is good; tension is bad.

 

I have found that relaxation comes upon me whenever I am in a condition where I know nothing can harm me. The concept in the TTC about being beyond death examples this. (Confidence helps too.)

Jokes aside though, it is useful to try and relax when in danger/can be harmed...

 

Tao of Gung Fu etc...

[CloudHands]

Nice topic. Yes, relaxation is good; tension is bad.

 

Is it really what you think ?

 

Edit : I ask because I can't see you being serious saying something that definite.

Edited May 30, 2014 by CloudHands

[Rara]

 

Is it really what you think ?

 

Edit : I ask because I can't see you being serious saying something that definite.

You need a fair amount of tension to sit upright even. I'm assuming he means extreme tension.

[fugue]

My teacher says to relax. If you are completely relaxed then you would fall over but who is really that relaxed. So he explains it as telling a lie to tell the truth. You can always be a litte more relaxed since since stress is always asserting itself you must constantly be relaxing. And, yes, the times I have felt a new level of relaxation I have thought now I am relaxed but I have done that so many times I now assume that I should just keep trying to relax and I will always be a little better at it.

[Spotless]

As the story goes, so does much of the tension.

 

We have our story - all those things that make up our causes and judgements. We react when something is in agreement with them or otherwise - we have springs in our system that harmonize with any thought form out there and even within us and they explode into a repetitious ramble if they come across anything out there at odds with our identifications.

 

But who can argue that the turtles should not be saved?

That the poor should not be fed?

That cats are better than dogs? (Wait - that dogs are better than cats?)

That it's all about the children?

 

These extrapolations set over reality consume us, enthrall us - they dissipate us.

 

"I am sick and tired of this crap!"

You are neither sick nor tired - you are perfect and unblemished - but your body is perhaps sick and also lacking vibrancy.

 

Some of us calm down in order to go another round - and we die a staunch Republican or a staunch Democrat or a staunch Outsider.

 

Staunchness is our tension - you can work at it from both without (hot tub) and within - letting go of the story.

Edited May 30, 2014 by Spotless

[Seeker of Wisdom]

Meditation, particularly mindfulness of breathing and cultivating compassion, can be very helpful, but if you can't relax in the first place then progress will be difficult. Also, it is easier to be relaxed in a room away from everything than in the middle of life.

 

Stress tends to be related to feeling out of control, or feeling the need to keep control. But if you can control something stress is useless, and if you can't then stress doesn't change that. Stress is a habit based on fear of losing the imaginary status of 'controller'.

 

It's important to see things as they are to undermine that delusion. Look clearly - in experience, not logic - at what you can control, what you can influence and what you just have to let be. Discern the sequence of events involved in actions: event, perception, recognition, feeling, evaluation, desire, intention, action; and see what you learn from that.

 

The more you accept the truth of control, the more you will live with a natural flow of responses to situations and the more peace you will have. In turn, as there is direct experience of peace being more pleasant and useful than stress, the less the mind inclines to stress. And that's the point when meditation begins to start a positive feedback loop of relaxation.

[Rara]

 

"I am sick and tired of this crap!"

You are neither sick nor tired - you are perfect and unblemished - but your body is perhaps sick and also lacking vibrancy.

 

Hehe "I am sick" ... No

 

"I have sickness"... Yes

 

Anything that can be "had" can be discarded

[Marblehead]

Is it really what you think ?

 

Edit : I ask because I can't see you being serious saying something that definite.

Yep. I really believe this. Tension will srew up our physical health as well as our mental health. Tension will disallow us from being flexible.

 

(Yes, I know you can't see me but I really do exist.)

[Brian]

Too much tension and you break your line. Not enough tension and the fish slips away. Either leaves you hungry.

 

Dynamic equilibrium is the answer to so many questions, isn't it?

[manitou]

 

But who can argue that the turtles should not be saved?

That the poor should not be fed?

 

 

Republicans.

[soaring crane]

ready...

Set

GO!

 

Stay ready and when you feel Set, return to ready.

 

It's an idea I got from my newest favorite book, The Dynamics of Standing Still.

 

It's a way of illustrating Song/Jin that resonated with me quite profoundly.

[Brian]

One of the saddest things about indoctrination is that the brain-washed rarely recognize the instilled & pervasive bigotry which slowly consumes them from the inside out. Stalin called them "useful idiots" but it happens on both sides of the spectrum. Each side of many spectra, actually.

Edited May 31, 2014 by Brian

[Rara]

One of the saddest things about indoctrination is that the brain-washed rarely recognize the instilled & pervasive bigotry which slowly consumes them from the inside out. Stalin called them "useful idiots" but it happens on both sides of the spectrum. Each side of many spectra, actually.

Do you think there can be such a thing as nit being brainwashed?

 

I ask because in a recent evaluation, I have come to realise that the ones stating to be independent/free thinking are also and example of a movement...

[CloudHands]

 

(Yes, I know you can't see me but I really do exist.)

 

I found the TTB's dark matter (or maybe its dark energy) !

[mike 134]

Relaxing is hard as hell. Why do you think alcohol, benzos, and pot are so popular ???

[Kun]

What people may fail to understand is that relaxation doesn't come in a day. For a generally tense person (the average American in my case) it can take almost a month to be able to ease all that unnecessary tension. In my case, my frustrations of not being able to fully relax caused more stress and tension.

 

I can't help but to say tension causes heat and relaxation causes coolness for me. My body never responded to heat well, so you can guess it's going to be a long summer, and I think it's that reason that I know I'm feeling tension. When I'm relaxed I feel an almost euphoric feeling. Anything is possible, and even the most challenging things seem doable. For me, feelings like these are few and far in between; but I know if I want to live a healthy life I need to live a relaxed life.

[amoyaan]

This is interesting. A while back I realised that I've always carried a kind of inner tension within me...sometimes very subtle and unnoticeable, at other times more pronounced.

 

I was able to isolate it as a sensation in the pit of my belly...a tension that had been with me a very long time. It's almost like the feeling of a clenched fist -- an inability to let go and relax; a mixture of fear, lack and insufficiency. It feels like it's almost like the basis of samsara itself....a black hole with tremendous gravity that pulls us in, hooking us into mis-identification with fears, doubts, thoughts, etc.

 

I don't know if anyone else has ever become aware of this. I don't think it's specific to me. What I did start to do was bring my attention to it, and instead of trying to consciously get rid of it, I learned it was best to bring an energy of allowing to it, and acceptance...and to let go of wanting to change it, or any aspect of myself. To try to change it or eliminate it just added more resistance and more power to its gravity. Just gentle sustained attention, and an attitude of curiosity seems to really ease it...it loses its power and I feel my whole being relaxing. Of course, this modern life has a million different ways of stressing us and triggering that inner tension, but the more I observe it, the more it eases.

 

Following this I find an effortless style of meditation like shikantaza, where there is no attempt at manipulation, no method or goal, seems to really aid in this natural relaxing of a deeply ingrained tension. It seems to loosen out the knots we accumulate along life's tumultuous path...and I find it easier then just to rest in awareness.

[Bearded Dragon]

Most people have no idea what real relaxation is. I was fortunate enough to get a glimpse of a deeper layer of the relaxation onion and it feels fundamentally different to how one would normally feel. When everything lines up and connects the right way it allows your body to let go and you feel extremely heavy but very light to move, plus there is a feeling of continuous expansion or a melting/elongation. I think this is just scratching the surface though.

[Mark Foote]

This morning I realized that for me, my study of anatomy is the study of where I can relax, if my mind should happen somewhere.

 

I sometimes look for pitch, yaw and roll with my sense of location, I think I am challenged with regard to the sense of equalibrium sometimes.

 

Sometimes I'm aware of the obturators side to side hammocking hips from the pelvis, sometimes of piriformis and gluteous rotating sacrum and pelvis clockwise and counterclockwise, sometimes of sides of the PC and rectus balancing a feeling of uprightness. Oftentimes the calves, sometimes the abdominals from the pelvis to where they connect two inches below the navel with before as behind, behind as before; sometimes the diaphragm and chest, sometimes the skin and hair. Where awareness takes place, open to awareness taking place where awareness takes place.

 

"Even so… does (a person) saturate, permeate, suffuse this very body with the rapture and joy that are born of aloofness; there is no part of (the) whole body that is not suffused with the rapture and joy born of aloofness."

 

Freedom of awareness to take place where awareness takes place is the joy of aloofness, IMHO:

 

“…as a skilled bath-attendant or (bath-attendant) apprentice, having sprinkled bath-powder into a bronze vessel, might knead it while repeatedly sprinkling it with water until the ball of lather had taken up moisture, was drenched with moisture, suffused with moisture inside and out but without any oozing. Even so… does (a person) saturate, permeate, suffuse this very body with the rapture and joy that are born of aloofness; there is no part of (the) whole body that is not suffused with the rapture and joy born of aloofness. While (such a person) is thus diligent, ardent, self-resolute, those memories and aspirations that are worldly are got rid of; by getting rid of them, the mind is inwardly settled, calmed, focused, concentrated.”

 

(MN III 92-93, PTS pg 132-134)

 

I study, but it has taken me awhile to be relaxed with my study. The anxiety of not knowing has taken the longest time to find release in the freedom of awareness that lets me breath again.

Edited June 2, 2014 by Mark Foote

[Rara]

What people may fail to understand is that relaxation doesn't come in a day. For a generally tense person (the average American in my case) it can take almost a month to be able to ease all that unnecessary tension. In my case, my frustrations of not being able to fully relax caused more stress and tension.

 

I can't help but to say tension causes heat and relaxation causes coolness for me. My body never responded to heat well, so you can guess it's going to be a long summer, and I think it's that reason that I know I'm feeling tension. When I'm relaxed I feel an almost euphoric feeling. Anything is possible, and even the most challenging things seem doable. For me, feelings like these are few and far in between; but I know if I want to live a healthy life I need to live a relaxed life.

Took me years lol.

 

Refused to empty my cup for a good while. My tense stubborn self wouldn't allow it.