manitou Posted June 7, 2014 One with everything. 10 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dawei Posted June 7, 2014 Ordered two: One with Ketchup and one with Mustard. Consumed /combined both [back to one] in his stomach. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thelerner Posted June 7, 2014 The hot dog vender was Buddhist and the cost came to $3.45. The daoist paid with a $5. After receiving the hot dog the daoist asked for his change. The Buddhist shook his head, no. Saying "Change must come from within" ok now for something slightly original. Two young Zen Buddhists student sat in the yard watching a flag wave. One said: 'The flag is moving.' The other said 'No, it is the wind moving'. The master came by and spoke 'No, it is your mind that is moving' just then the flag detached and flew skyward. The 2 students looked to the master. He said 'Hmnn, now it is the flag that moves', smiled and walked away 8 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Spotless Posted June 7, 2014 (edited) Water (The dogs were hot) Edited June 7, 2014 by Spotless 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GrandmasterP Posted June 7, 2014 (edited) A Zen master once said to me, "Do the opposite of whatever I tell you." So I didn't. Edited June 7, 2014 by GrandmasterP 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
子泰 Posted June 7, 2014 In the process, the Buddhist hot dog vender was also a zen master and cut the customer's finger off :0 He wasn't exempt from the hotdog mixture 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
manitou Posted June 7, 2014 Water (The dogs were hot) So you're looking at the water as the cosmic soup, lol? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
manitou Posted June 7, 2014 In the process, the Buddhist hot dog vender was also a zen master and cut the customer's finger off :0 He wasn't exempt from the hotdog mixture This is great. Particularly in lieu of 'Need a Hand?' over your avatar 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mYTHmAKER Posted June 7, 2014 The existentialist ordered one with nothing 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brian Posted June 7, 2014 So you're looking at the water as the cosmic soup, lol? Thought they might be thirsty... 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Friend Posted June 7, 2014 One with everything. and he continued: "as I have archieved true emptiness" 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BaguaKicksAss Posted June 7, 2014 Wouldn't most Daoists and Buddhists have ordered one of those vegan version ones? 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
liminal_luke Posted June 7, 2014 (edited) The Buddhist hot dog vendor took the Taoist master´s money and then just sat there breathing. Finally, the Taoist master, who was hungry after spending the last month fasting in a dark cave, decided to push the issue. "Hey buddy, where´s my hot dog?" he asked. The Buddhist looked at him blankly and replied "the hot dog does not exist." Liminal Edited June 7, 2014 by liminal_luke 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thelerner Posted June 7, 2014 & tasting the hot dog the taoist said 'My time here is completed'. His body turned rainbow bright and faded. He spent some time visiting the sacred spots, then crossing through time itself, then inter-dimensional spaces of elemental beings and gods. Finally he traveled our universe, ending up on a huge globe covered by water except one rocky area where he could sit and hum along with green/purple misoelectonic of the world's stratosphere. Just when he got the harmonics perfectly in sync, he felt a tap on his shoulder. It was the Buddhist, saying 'You owe me $3.50 for the dog.' 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
manitou Posted June 7, 2014 (edited) Wouldn't most Daoists and Buddhists have ordered one of those vegan version ones? LOL. I just knew you would say this if you found this thread, BKA! OMG Lerner - there is something so familiar about that first paragraph, almost like it's a memory behind the fog of something having been done before. I almost remember it. Apparently the harmonics weren't in as much sync after all, if he missed that little bit of $3.50 karma. This reminds me of the time my shamanic partner Joe recently helped a friend, Mo, cross over. When Mo did die, Joe put quarters on his eyes to hold the lids down before his sister got back to the apartment. About a week later, Joe said "Damn." I said "What." He said "Mo still owes me fifty cents". Edited June 7, 2014 by manitou 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
zanshin Posted June 7, 2014 Shouldn't someone just happen to be giving out free hot dogs when the Taoist master wants one? Although far from mastery, even I got free 2 liter bottles of soda, a big bag of green onions and a cup of peanut m&ms in the last couple days. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brian Posted June 7, 2014 Shouldn't someone just happen to be giving out free hot dogs when the Taoist master wants one? Although far from mastery, even I got free 2 liter bottles of soda, a big bag of green onions and a cup of peanut m&ms in the last couple days. Some of my friends and relatives look at me strangely when those sorts of things happen. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GrandmasterP Posted June 7, 2014 (edited) Fresh hotdog A customer bites in The sound of mustard Edited June 7, 2014 by GrandmasterP 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cheshire Cat Posted June 8, 2014 "What the daoist master ordered at the hotdog stand?" Daoist Master: "The hot dog that can be spoken is not the one that I ordered" A disappointed Mopai practitioner come out of a bush radiating yang Qi and told the daoist master "Now, I'm level 6: I will use my laser-sight to turn your hot dog into dust" The daoist master was scared and started turning his microcosmic orbit faster and faster to assimilate the pure qi of the hot dog into his dan tien. At the same time, he practiced a rare qigong form called "Three phoenixes kill the dog-demon on top of Kunlun mountain" . The mopai practitioner started the practice of mopai level 2 to raise the qi from his belly. A buddhist monk passed by and upon seeing that the fight was imminent and that the two opponents were equally strong, he prayed Amithaba to eventually carry them to his pure land... but to leave the hot dog there for him to eat. In the end, there were the mopai guy and the daoist master moving weirdly around a bush and the shaved monk bowing down repeatedly in a compulsive manner. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GrandmasterP Posted June 8, 2014 (edited) Q: How many zennists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Lotus unfolds under moon. Edited June 8, 2014 by GrandmasterP 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
manitou Posted June 8, 2014 Shouldn't someone just happen to be giving out free hot dogs when the Taoist master wants one? Although far from mastery, even I got free 2 liter bottles of soda, a big bag of green onions and a cup of peanut m&ms in the last couple days. Sounds like mastery to me. but did you really want the big bag of green onions? 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
zanshin Posted June 8, 2014 Sounds like mastery to me. but did you really want the big bag of green onions? More than the soda, but not as much as the chocolate. Frittata last night, probably burritos today, with lots of green onions (-: 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thelerner Posted June 8, 2014 How many hot dogs does it take to change a light bulb? Answ. None hot dogs can't change bulbs. & change must come from within. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brian Posted June 8, 2014 (edited) The tubular kind? Well, duh? That's the only kind of light bulb hot dogs will use. Edited June 8, 2014 by Brian 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
