Help - I've fallen and I can't get up!

[VeeCee]

Okay - so this topic isn't specifically about taoism. However, I've been lurking for a bit and you all seem to give really thoughtful advice, so I thought I would give it a try. Here's my story...

 

About a year and a half ago, I was in a job that I really didn't like, but I was trying to make myself stay put for personal reasons. The stress of the job caused me to end up in the hospital for 3 days, and while I was there I got laid off. I knew about the possibility of a lay off, but the timing was really crappy.

 

Anyway, after I lost my job I started reading about taoism. The idea of working with things instead of against them really appealed to me, especially since I felt like I'd been beating my head against a brick wall for the last 5 or 6 years!

 

The taoist philosophy really helped get me through the anger and grief of losing my job. I also read some books on manifesting (Esther Hicks, etc.) to work on finding a new job. I've had a few interviews, but no offers.

 

So I just feel stuck! Part of me feels like I'm here for a reason - that I need to go with the flow. Another part of me feels like I should actively be doing something, anything to get the energy moving. I'm open for any ideas, advice or comments.

[Yoda]

Welcome to taobums! First of all, cut yourself some slack... it sounds like this situation was years in the building so it could take a bit to turn it around your energies. Also, as Esther says, sometimes the empire has to crumble to bring in new ideas too. That's certainly true of me, anyways. As for practice, you can't beat daily meditation and exercise... keeps the yin and the yang flowing to support groovy vibes and intuition that'll help you sort things out. One of the tips from Esther that I have enjoyed is to remember that all external events are merely byproducts of the energy that I sent out first... that's a very liberating perspective... other people can't mess with you!!

[freeform]

About a year and a half ago, I was in a job that I really didn't like, but I was trying to make myself stay put for personal reasons. The stress of the job caused me to end up in the hospital for 3 days, and while I was there I got laid off. I knew about the possibility of a lay off, but the timing was really crappy.

 

well it feels like a part of you was intuitive enough to notice that the job was no good - and it was so bad that it got you into hospital (when the body sends messages, but you don't listen, it will start using pain - a message that you can't ignore!)

 

The funny thing is that the hospital trip got you out of this job - so that intuitive part was successfull. It's fine to be angry about what happened - but you may want to stop for a moment and just appreciate that there is a part of you that led you to a whole new direction. Even if the journey was painful, where you are now is more beneficial than when you were before.

 

There is something important to consider with law of attraction, and it's that in the beginning it's hard to know exactly what you want - I mean you'll have desires and ideals and wants and fantasies, but these all come from a place that wants to be satisfied by something from the outside - like a kid who wants sweets - attempting to satisfy these desires will just lead you round in circles, and then make you crash and you'd be left as empty and unsatisfied as ever...

 

but it's not all bad news - in fact from what you describe, it seems that things are really starting to go well for you - because you've already experienced a part of you that knows intuitively what is really beneficial and nourishing for you. It's the elusive obvious - it's not a part of you that 'thinks', so don't try and think your way out of your situation - it's a part of you that feels - you know when you get the feeling that something is correct? That's the feeling... just follow that. Do what feels right. And I mean what physically feels right, not what you mentally decide is right.

 

Have a look for jobs, whilst being in touch with this intuitive part - if you get a good feeling about a job, apply and see what happens. Dont over-think things, just follow your intuition, if you feel moved to do something, then do it - this is how you become 'lucky'. now!

 

Do you feel lucky?

 

Because from what you wrote, it seems that your luck muscle is flexing full force - so just let go, relax and allow it to lead you to... wherever feels right. doesn't it?

 

[thelerner]

Don't let the granola crunching crp of The Secret make a dark place seem darker. Finding a new job is always hard, you will find one and you'll be a lot happier in it then the old one, if for no other reason, hey its a job and there's money coming in. Sending out touchy feelly energy is okay, but don't expect wishes to turn to lottery winnings (IMHO), but you have to believe hard (& smart) work and effort will pay off in the end.

 

The best thing you can get off this site is ideas for setting up a practice. Take a look around here. See if any of the various practices people are mentioning click w/ you. If they do, set up a daily practice around them. Even if the job scene is turning stale, you can find a source of growth and inspiration in a daily practice. Which can spread some light into other areas of your life.

 

The Green One's (above) Personal Practice discussion is a particularly good place to find myriad wonderful practices that are possible.

 

 

I'm opening up a fortune cookie for you right now. Let me look inside.

 

 

Get up, start moving and good luck and lightness will come to you; the fortune cookie says it Also your numbers are 23 32 546 65 89

 

 

Yours

 

Michael

[mbanu]

Why do you feel stuck? Where's here? Flow where? Do what? Why? How?

 

In the meantime,

 

Yeh Ch'u:eh asked Wang Yi, saying, "Do you know for certain that all things are the same?"

 

"How can I know?" answered Wang Yi. "Do you know what you do not know?"

 

"How can I know!" replied Yeh Ch'u:eh. "But then does nobody know?"

 

"How can I know?" said Wang Yi. "Nevertheless, I will try to tell you. How can it be known that what I call knowing is not really not knowing and that what I call not knowing is not really knowing? Now I would ask you this, If a man sleeps in a damp place, he gets lumbago and dies. But how about an eel? And living up in a tree is precarious and trying to the nerves. But how about monkeys? Of the man, the eel, and the monkey, whose habitat is the right one, absolutely? Human beings feed on flesh, deer on grass, centipedes on little snakes, owls and crows on mice. Of these four, whose is the right taste, absolutely? Monkey mates with the dog-headed female ape, the buck with the doe, eels consort with fishes, while men admire Mao Ch'iang and Li Chi, at the sight of whom fishes plunge deep down in the water, birds soar high in the air, and deer hurry away. Yet who shall say which is the correct standard of beauty? In my opinion, the doctrines of humanity and justice and the paths of right and wrong are so confused that it is impossible to know their contentions."

 

and

 

The greatest Virtue is to follow Tao and Tao alone.

The Tao is elusive and intangible.

Oh, it is intangible and elusive, and yet within is image.

Oh, it is elusive and intangible, and yet within is form.

Oh, it is dim and dark, and yet within is essence.

This essence is very real, and therein lies faith.

From the very beginning until now its name has never been forgotten.

Thus I perceive the creation.

How do I know the ways of creation ?

Because of this.

 

I've found meditation can help, sometimes. It needn't be a complicated one. Go for a walk somewhere quiet. Concentrate on the sound of your footsteps.

Edited August 15, 2007 by mbanu

[mbanu]

Oho! And a quote from Master Plato to seal the deal!

 

"You know, if you watch the cyclic energy behind the attacks on this

board, you will see the same cool pattern:

 

It starts with those who have nothing to say. They will author posts like this:

 

'Does anyone know how to maximize yin/yang energy?'

 

'Isn't it cool how I felt this light when I did my microcosmic orbit.'

 

'My meditation and their influence upon the population in Harlem, New York.'

 

Clearly these people have much deeper things the wish to ask, but haven't spent enough time walking the talk to even know what they are, let alone phrase them. So, they half-ass it around looking to start on-line relationships with

other numb-nutz who have less experience than they do.

 

On the other hand...

 

We have those who have gotten a little deeper and see how the problem is in all of that watery, desire-based stuff. They KNOW what the question is, but don't have the courage to say it. The question is:

 

'PLEASE HELP ME WITH THIS FUCKING MESS!!!'

 

Since nobody helps them, they spit all their deep shit on the board, which usually takes the form of ass-fucking, racism, etc.

 

Then again...

 

There is still a final category of idiot. I am talking about those who

THINK they know everything and drone on and on about some obfuscatory practice where on mixes the yin and the yang of some far off person and produces an inverted, upside-down steaming practice in outer space while riding a bicycle or whatever the fuck is the latest rage among IT professionals who also happen to be Taoists.

 

So the solution is:

 

IT professionals have got to get out of their heads and start doing some serious butt-fucking.

 

The ass-fuckers have got to do some steaming (no dead squirrels involved!).

 

The idiots have got to spend a little more time listening instead of talking.

 

Oh, and by the way:

 

FUCK YOU ALL YOU STINKING CUNT MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

You're doing your best.

Edited August 15, 2007 by mbanu

[VeeCee]

Thanks to everyone for your replies. Just so you know, I do meditate daily. I also try to get out for a walk each day. It helps keep me sane.

 

On the practical side, I do continue to look for jobs in my field - the problem is I'm over qualified for most of them. But I keep looking.

 

I try to stay calm and stay focused. Getting myself worked up into a frenzy doesn't help anything. So....

I guess I'll keep doing what I'm doing. My latest prayer is " All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well."

 

Thanks for listening,

 

V.

[hagar]

If terrible things happen, there are usually two causal factors involved:

 

1. You

 

2. Life

 

Solution to nr. 1:

Learn from your mistakes.

 

Solution for nr. 2:

Meet adversity with Grace.

 

Solution for both: Build your Gong.

 

How? Practice and let go.

 

Sounds easy?

 

Nop.

 

Do I practice what I preach?

 

Sometimes...

 

h

[VeeCee]

Okay - so maybe I've completely lost it, but one of the things I've done is play a LOT of solitaire in the past year.

 

What I've learned is if I play long enough, I will eventually win. That's the attitude I take toward life right now - if I stay at it, I will eventually win (or come out on the other side of this). Maybe I'm nuts, but it helps to think that way.

 

Added comment:

 

Rather than post all my random thoughts here, I think I'll start a personal practice journal - that way I can detail some of the things that I have been doing. Again, I am open for any thoughts, advice or comments.

 

BTW - I just won at solitaire

Edited August 15, 2007 by VeeCee

[beancurdturtle]

What I've learned is if I play long enough, I will eventually win. That's the attitude I take toward life right now - if I stay at it, I will eventually win (or come out on the other side of this). Maybe I'm nuts, but it helps to think that way.

This is a great way to deal with the details. It's acceptance in a bass-ackwards sorta way. This is not meant as a criticism, it's meant to focus on what is working in what you are doing. When you don't win, you acknowledge the loss and tell yourself you will win eventually.

 

The downside to this is, you still assign a greater value to "winning" over "losing." You still have expectations that the experience of one versus the other is better - when in fact it's just different details.

 

In this existence you have two critical events; birth and death. And they usually occur in that order. Everything between is details, and the value you apply to the details is how you will experience them, and it's only based on perception.

 

If you play solitaire without expectations you will find you will still win and lose. But if you are at peace with the game you can be content with either outcome. 100% contentment seems better to me than only being pleased on the occasions that I win.

 

As I see it, the objective of The Way is to become familiar with peace.

 

Life is great - sometimes the details are troublesome - but life is great.

 

Peace,

Edited August 16, 2007 by beancurdturtle

[VeeCee]

BCT,

 

I hear what you're saying and you're right. It would be better if I could just play the game and be content whether I win or lose. Unfortunately, I'm not far enough along on my journey to do that yet. Gives me something to aspire to.

 

Thanks for the feedback,

 

V.

 

Edit for typo

Edited August 17, 2007 by VeeCee

[Nemo]

VeeCee, Let me ask you this. When searching for work, do you you hold any preconceived notions such as seeking a certain pay or only a given form of employment?

As long as you are looking only for certain things, you will always miss the opportunities that you are not looking for.

I do not know what Esther Hicks wrote about, but I do know that a key to causing the universe to conform with will is to not care about the outcome. The more you desire an outcome the less likely it is to manifest.

That said, perhaps you are putting too much thought into seeking employment. Recently I was in a situation of needing a job, but unlike you I am under qualified for most things due to lack of education and no job skills.

A friend of mine works for the Archdiocese of Seattle and she was kind enough to arrange for an interview with her boss for me. I went there knowing I was not qualified for the job and the interview went badly with my being told that I likely wouldn't get the job. I accepted this and went home. The next week I received a call saying that they were going to hire me after all and this in turn led to my gaining a second job which I was also under qualified for.

The reason I was hired at both jobs was because of how I treated the interview.

1. Instead of doing the interview to gain employment, I did it for the sake of being interviewed with no future goals attached to it.

2. I was completely honest with no attempts to boost my lack of skills or attempts to win the job like some sort of prize.

3.I applied for the most unwanted task and the worst hours for said task.

4.After the interviews I put no more thought into them and let things fall as they would.

This method may or may not work for you, but it is something to consider.

 

I have found that if I am stagnated and desire to get things moving again that one of the best things to do is just stop for awhile and wait. When you stop looking, you often see what is around you.

I hope this is of some help to you. May you have good tidings in your search.

[VeeCee]

Nemo,

 

Thanks for your feedback. Yes I am guilty of having preconceived expectations. I have been in this field for 15 years and had reached a certain level of responsibility. Most of the jobs currently available are for people with approximately 5 years experience. It would be hard for me to go back to what I was doing 10 years ago, but it may be necessary.

 

I agree with you that going into an interview with no expections is best. In such situations, I have always received a job offer. My problem is that I am a single mom, with no unemployment, who is living offer her savings.

 

I think it's the combination of pride (I'm too good for the jobs that ARE available) and desperation (help - I need a job NOW) that has me in this corner. Who knows? Again, I just try to stay calm and focused (as much as any desperate, unemployed, single mother can be).

 

Thank you for your thoughts.

 

V.

 

Edit for typo

Edited August 17, 2007 by VeeCee

[Nemo]

To desire to be payed what we think we are worth is only human and no one can fault you for that. However it may reach the point where your desperation is great enough that you have to take a job below your skills, at least in the short term.

In the mean time you can manage for a while through social programs. It's not the most pleasant thing to go through, but at least you can get plenty of food and even temporary housing if need be.

One of the traps many people fall into is the assumption that what we go through must be permanent. All things come and go. When we are at the peak, we will fall and have to climb back up again. You have fallen, the question before you now is what way do you prefer to climb back up?

It's always hard to realize that we must start over again, but it will happen time and time again. Sometimes it is necessary to just accept what is and pick up from wherever you are and start the climb again.

In the job you had, did you make any contacts? Co-workers and the like who may be able to help you find a job close to what you were doing?

Often times employers won't list the jobs that require plenty of experience like you have. In cases like this you could try calling a few places similar in nature to your old work and ask if they are currently hiring. It would surprise most people how often you can get a job doing that.

Keep in mind that the easy path often looks difficult. Do not discount a possibility simply because of the troubles it seems to have.

I truly do wish you the best of luck.

[VeeCee]

I once read a story about a woman who left her high-powered career and took a job bagging groceries just to learn a lesson in humility. I remember thinking to myself " I wish I could do that." This could be my golden opportunity.

 

Paper or plastic?

[Nemo]

I once read a story about a woman who left her high-powered career and took a job bagging groceries just to learn a lesson in humility. I remember thinking to myself " I wish I could do that." This could be my golden opportunity.

 

Paper or plastic?

 

Only you can decide if such a choice is best for you.

Humans, as a species and as individuals build towers of things. Ever reaching upwards from the mud towards godhood. We make stepping stones from possesions, be they titles, responsibilities, money, items, ect. Each piece builds our tower a little higher so we always strive for more.

Recently I witnessed everything I had worked hard for over the past several years fall to pieces within a few months. My tower had crumbled and I sat in the mud again. This led me to realize that the mud isn't so bad. Much like Zuangzi's tortoise I have found I prefer the mud to godhood.

Whether the mud suits you like it does me is your choice. Just keep in mind that simply because society declares something to be bad, does not make it so.

[beancurdturtle]

I once read a story about a woman who left her high-powered career and took a job bagging groceries just to learn a lesson in humility. I remember thinking to myself " I wish I could do that." This could be my golden opportunity.

 

Paper or plastic?

Sometimes halfway is good enough. back in 1998 I left one career where I was making $150k a year of more for a different one that runs around half that much.

 

The first was not in good alignment with my philosophy.

 

You can do what it takes.

 

Don't fear change. Do what is right for you.

Edited August 19, 2007 by beancurdturtle