Please help me understand this!

[DreamBliss]

OK, I am going to go on a little ego trip here. I am venting, getting stuff out, trying to understand. It's coming from reading Ram Das's “Be Here Now.”

 

Understand that I am not apologizing to any spiritually mature beings, for lack of a better description. If they are spiritually mature they can't be offended by anything I say or do anyway. I mean I get that much at least.

 

But I do apologize to the devotees, the followers, the not-spiritually-mature-at-this-moment beings. I know the ego can take offense. The ego wants to defend, to protect. You know you have graduated to spiritually mature when you realize that you have no need to defend or protect your guru, he or she is perfectly capable of defending themselves.

 

Moving on...

 

OK, so this Mahari-Ji guy, Ram Das's teacher in India, is said, by Ram Das, to have thrown people out who went looking for him and found him. That he appeared to them as a little old man in a blanket. This appearance thing is something Ram Das must have picked up, because I know of one account where someone looked at him and his faced cycled through a lot of faces. I know when I look at Ram Das pictures I just see a little old man. So chances are were I to see someone like Mahari-Ji that would be all I would see. I think it highly likely I would be someone thrown out.

 

But I want to know why! Why would a supposedly spiritually mature being do this to seekers? Why would he or she need to? What purpose does this serve? What is the point? What is the seeker supposed to learn from what they will most likely take as rejection (the damn ego again?) I know I would feel dejected and rejected, were I to be thrown out like that. I want to understand this!

 

The other thing I want to understand is why in the hell India? It's like the soil over there in the India/Tibet area grows spiritually enlightened beings or something. It's not the 3^rd world cesspool environment, or we would have gurus popping up all over the place in America. It's not the Hindu religion, because no religion is %100 right, and the Hindu faith has some series issues like the whole untouchables things. It's not the Ganges, unless polluted water is the secret to growing gurus, because if that were the case my old hometown of Rainier, OR would be flooded with them. So why India? Why not Canada, or Africa, or the frikkin' North Pole, or Russia? Why is it that the largest concentration of gurus happens to be in India? I just don't get it.

 

It makes an American, like me, without a passport, feel like I am hearing tales of some strange far away land where gods walk the earth in some form of Lord of the Rings tale. I have to come up with thousands of dollars to get a passport and a ticket. Then I have to deal with the mass of humanity flooding the streets of India, including a vast assortment of con artists. If somehow I survive, literally, the streets of India and make it into the mountains, then I have to figure out where a true guru may reside. So chalk up a few more months. Then I finally find a real guru and what? I get chucked out on my arse!

 

Then in every spiritual text I read they all say, “It's all right here!” Yup, its inside me. I don't need a guru, somewhere deep inside me is my own guru. Which amounts to, in my experience up to this present moment at least, to I just have to figure it all out by myself. Nobody to talk to. No advice, direction, guidance. Nothing. I have no idea how to access these answers I supposedly already have. It is easier to go to India and risk getting killed, robbed or thrown out.

 

How do I explain this? Drinking a beer with someone over the internet, VOIP or not, is not the same as sitting down with them right across the table! Coming to this forums here, as wonderful as they are, is not the same as sitting down, old man in a blanket or not, and having a physical presence I can interact with and hear! Some things require a physical body, like sex, for example. I'm sorry, but making love over the internet is a poor substitute at best for having someone in your arms that you can see, taste, touch, here and smell! And anyway, I have this physical body for a reason! I mean if I didn't need it, I wouldn't be wearing the stupid thing, now would I?

 

Can someone help me understand this? Come to terms with this? Find some peace or resolution here? Maybe there is a point of view I am missing or something. I just don't see how someone who is supposed to be loving could throw anyone out who sought them. Maybe my definition of love needs work. But I don't recall Jesus ever doing that to anyone in the Bible. As I recall He always tried to help everyone He could, and was sad when He could not. Isn't Jesus's example the highest form of love we could attain while in physical bodies?

 

I am 38 years old. I will soon be 39. I know time does not exist, it is a creation of man. All it means is how many times I have been around the sun. But I am lonely and feeling lost. I have no friend and certainly no lover. I have no master or teacher. Not that I can have anyone in a possessive sense. Just the way it has to be written in English. I am not seeking ownership. I would like apprenticeship, companionship, courtship, friendship.

 

Just a few days ago I attended a graduation party for our neighbors – family friends – down the road. I should say my dad and grandma's family friends, although I know them. Anyhow their oldest daughter, she is so pretty! Just being around her was like being a solar panel struck by the hot desert sun. I don't know how else to describe the experience. But I know I am about the age of her uncles. I have 20 years on her. I have a knowing that any attempt at a relationship would be wrong, for her I think, and maybe for me. I don't know what the hell my path is supposed to be. But the point is it hurts. It hurts like a motheryouknowwhat. And I am damn tired of hurting. Ego or not, a knife blade, figurative or literal, still hurts like a sonofagun.

 

I am left with only a question, why is it, that up until this moment, I seem to have always been in the group of the rejected or thrown out ones? What does that mean? What can I do about it? How can I change this? I am tired of not fitting in, of being a square peg in a round hole, of not having my own clique'. Where does a late 30 year old, spiritual but not religious, man who shares the interests of most teenagers, supposed to fit in a small town with 12 churches within hollerin' distance?

 

Again I ask, help me to get this, to understand it. To come to terms. To find peace somehow with things as they seem to be. If you have a spare finger and the knowledge of where to point it, then by all means, do so for me. Because I am feeling really alone and lost right now. I feel like I don't matter, that I have no place or purpose. And I am feeling the sharp, cutting edge of loneliness in my guts, twisting there, and I just wish I had someone to be with. But I have no idea what I need to do, if anything, to be ready for that.

 

I am open and receptive. I am working on myself, growing. I am delving inside, doing my inner work. I am learning each lesson that comes my way to learn. The proof is that I am not who I was before. If distance were to be measured on a spiritual journey I could say I have come so far. But I just feel more and more confused, lost and unsure.

 

Please just help me understand.

Edited June 17, 2014 by DreamBliss

[Yascra]

May you put your core issue in five sentences, pleeease, if you can?

 

[liminal_luke]

DreamBliss,

 

If I´m remembering right, another one of Ram Dass´s books is entitled "Grist For The Mill." I like that concept because it suggests that the very things that most bother us, that bring us the most suffering, can provide nourishment of sorts. People whose lives run super smoothly may be happy, but it takes bumping up against some of life´s harder edges to grow spiritually. Perhaps it´s not coincidence that so many gurus seem to come from India, an economically impoverished country where there´s a great deal of suffering indeed.

 

Since you`re already hurting enough as it is, it´s probably not necessary for you to book a ticket to India. Your present dissatisfaction will provide sufficient "grist for the mill" to fuel the developmental process you´re looking for. (Hopefully, I don´t come off as glib. I don´t mean to dismiss the depth of your feeling.)

 

Of course just feeling bad, in and of itself, doesn´t necessarily lead to enlightenment. The trick is to orient oneself in a helpful way vis a vis the apparent unfairness and injustice of life. I can´t necessarily tell you what works in this regard as I´m still very much working with it myself. I can however say this much from my own hard experience: it doesn´t help to run away.

 

Liminal

[3bob]

Thanks for sharing so well many of the intense things you are going through, (and that in itself should be helping you in some way to get a better handle on same, does it not?)

 

I will attempt a further reply at one of your questions about Gurus sometime later today. For now I will repeat just a couple of generic type points: 1. a True Guru can do nothing against the Spirit for if they did they would not be a True Guru. 2. nobody has a monopoly on Spirit, for 'Spirit is unto Spirit' itself. Also for all of us to go on a certain faith is needed, although not blind faith.

Edited June 16, 2014 by 3bob

[idiot_stimpy]

The truth at any cost, even if it means having to give up the idea that you need apprenticeship, companionship, courtship, friendship to be happy now.

[Jetsun]

You raise a great deal of different points in one post, but Neem Karoli Baba was thought not just to be a master but an Avatar, in that he knew exactly what is of benefit for each student who went to him. Being thrown out may be exactly what the person needed at that time, rather than indulging the students sleeping consciousness his reaction may give him a shock to help wake them up.

 

If you want a more shocking example of unconventional wisdom Ram Dass a few years ago had a severe stroke, he survived but since had many problems such as learning to talk properly again and function properly, but if you ask him he says his Guru Mahara-ji stroked him, he believes that his guru gave him the stroke as it was of most benefit to him for his spiritual awakening.

[Brian]

Time laughs at the idea that it is man-made.

 

Flexible? Permeable? Malleable? Penetrable?

 

Absolutely.

 

Imaginary?

 

Not really...

[Clarity]

The way to understanding is to start deleting some of your thinking.

 

All of the questions being asked by your thinking and getting no answers creates more uncertainty, confusion, misinterpretation, and desperation.

 

If your really want to 'understand,' get into your intuition, perception, and your feeling (which is your inner compass, NOT your emotions).

 

You could give some of chris d's entrainments a go:

 

http://thetaobums.com/topic/35189-primal-rage-inner-critic-self-image

 

Real understanding doesn't come from thinking or conceptualizing!

[aboo]

I can relate to a lot of what you have posted DreamBliss, and I am sure there are many people in all walks of life who experience the exact same feelings. I don't have any answers on why things are as they are, however, from my experience, in my meditations and spiritual practice I find whenever I am searching and desiring after something it all goes awry. When I surrender and detach, just accepting things as they are I am far more content.

Edited June 16, 2014 by aboo

[thelerner]

I am left with only a question, why is it, that up until this moment, I seem to have always been in the group of the rejected or thrown out ones? What does that mean? What can I do about it? How can I change this? I am tired of not fitting in, of being a square peg in a round hole, of not having my own clique'. Where does a late 30 year old, spiritual but not religious, man who shares the interests of most teenagers, supposed to fit in a small town with 12 churches within hollerin' distance?

 

Again I ask, help me to get this, to understand it. To come to terms. To find peace somehow with things as they seem to be. If you have a spare finger and the knowledge of where to point it, then by all means, do so for me. Because I ma feeling really alone and lost right now. I feel like I don't matter, that I have no place or purpose. And I am feeling the sharp, cutting edge of loneliness in my guts, twisting there, and I just wish I had someone to be with. But I have no idea what I need to do, if anything, to be ready for that.

 

I am open and receptive. I am working on myself, growing. I am delving inside, doing my inner work. I am learning each lesson that comes my way to learn. The proof is that I am not who I was before. If distance were to be measured on a spiritual journey I could say I have come so far. But I just feel more and more confused, lost and unsure.

 

Please just help me understand.

Hmnn, I've got no magic answers. But when I was experiencing something like you describe, I joined an organization of with good people in it. One that met regularly, planned things, did things.

 

In some ways it doesn't matter what the organization was, other then good people and meeting regularly. It gave me a sense of belonging, people to talk to, a bit of anchoring in my life. You've got 12 churches nearby, then explore them. Which has the most activities and a congregation you could fit into. Don't look for perfect, look for good, fittable, need.. maybe not a church, but find an active organization and don't be a wall flower. Jump in, volunteer, become a worker and doer in it. Meaning is easier to find in doing, then by thinking.

 

Religious philosophy is a wonderful dessert, but people and community are the main course. Get out of your comfort zone, and explore what's out there close to you. The goal is to start developing roots and relationships. No magic, just a sense of how can I help. That's called Karma yoga, and can quite powerful in changing your life.

 

<fwiw in my case it was during college. I joined APO a service fraternity (co-ed), kind of an extension of the boy scouts. It got me out of a melancholy funk and the social aspects and service projects got me out of my head and into action.>

[GrandmasterP]

Hello DreamBliss.

India is a nice place to live and work if you don't mind really hot weather.

There are gurus to suit all tastes over there, it's big business but whoever arrives in India is still the same person who left wherever they came from.

Cultivation can be as easily if not more easily done 'at home' given the right teacher.

That said I really enjoyed the five years that I worked in India and met some super people.

Indians are genuinely friendly and interested in anyone from the west even in touristic hot spots factoring out the guys selling stuff you'll be invited by ordinary locals to 'join' with their company and take tea.

Having been on one or two ashrams over there amongst folks who came out to India to 'find themselves' or some such I often wondered if whatever benefits they did get would transfer easily back 'home'.

It's one thing to be cocooned on an Ashram concentrating on cultivation every day with no other pressures and quite another to keep up that lifestyle back in the west with maybe a job to hold down and bills to pay plus all the other everyday stressors.

Edited June 16, 2014 by GrandmasterP

[Jetsun]

The other thing I want to understand is why in the hell India? It's like the soil over there in the India/Tibet area grows spiritually enlightened beings or something. It's not the 3^rd world cesspool environment, or we would have gurus popping up all over the place in America. It's not the Hindu religion, because no religion is %100 right, and the Hindu faith has some series issues like the whole untouchables things. It's not the Ganges, unless polluted water is the secret to growing gurus, or else my old hometown of Rainier, OR would be flooded with them. So why India? Why not Canada, or Africa, or the frikkin' North Pole, or Russia? Why is it that the largest concentration of gurus happens to be in India? I just don't get it.

 

That is something I have wondered myself, I agree Hinduism is far from perfect but it is generally a bit more open minded and relaxed around other faiths and there is a great deal of openness and respect towards the divine aspect of life, so it is probably more fertile soil in that respect. Perhaps the fact that a lot of the country are vegetarians comes in to it.

 

One of my teachers says the reason is because of the energy of the land, the Himalayas and mountains like Arunachala are places where the divine energy comes through the earth far more strongly, similarly how there are energy centres in the body there are energy centres in the planet, so the people are products of the land.

 

But in the modern world of air travel and dissemination of teachings you don't have to go to India or anywhere else, plenty of masters travel to the USA and many live there. My advice would be to go see Amma when she goes on her next tour to the USA, she won't throw you out and I doubt you will find any more powerful than her if you searched India for your entire life.

 

Ram Das has also said that now Mahari-Ji is now dead it is far easier for anyone to get Darshan from him, as he is no longer bound by time and space you can do it from home.

[ChiDragon]

I am 38 years old. I will soon be 39. I know time does not exist, it is a creation of man. All it means is how many times I have been around the sun. But I am lonely and feeling lost. I have no friend and certainly no lover. I have no master or teacher. Not that I can have anyone in a possessive sense. Just the way it has to be written in English. I am not seeking ownership. I am would like apprenticeship, companionship, courtship, friendship.

 

Just a few days ago I attended a graduation party for our neighbors – family friends – down the road. I should say my dad and grandma's family friends, although I know them. Anyhow their oldest daughter, she is so pretty! Just being around her was like being a solar panel struck by the hot desert sun. I don't know how else to describe the experience. But I know I am about the age of her uncles. I have 20 years on her. I have a knowing that any attempt at a relationship would be wrong, for her I think, and maybe for me. I don't know what the hell my path is supposed to be. But the point is it hurts. It hurts like a motheryouknowwhat. And I am damn tired of hurting. Ego or not, a knife blade, figurative or literal, still hurts like a sonofagun.

 

I am left with only a question, why is it, that up until this moment, I seem to have always been in the group of the rejected or thrown out ones? What does that mean? What can I do about it? How can I change this? I am tired of not fitting in, of being a square peg in a round hole, of not having my own clique'. Where does a late 30 year old, spiritual but not religious, man who shares the interests of most teenagers, supposed to fit in a small town with 12 churches within hollerin' distance?

 

Again I ask, help me to get this, to understand it. To come to terms. To find peace somehow with things as they seem to be. If you have a spare finger and the knowledge of where to point it, then by all means, do so for me. Because I ma feeling really alone and lost right now. I feel like I don't matter, that I have no place or purpose. And I am feeling the sharp, cutting edge of loneliness in my guts, twisting there, and I just wish I had someone to be with. But I have no idea what I need to do, if anything, to be ready for that.

 

I am open and receptive. I am working on myself, growing. I am delving inside, doing my inner work. I am learning each lesson that comes my way to learn. The proof is that I am not who I was before. If distance were to be measured on a spiritual journey I could say I have come so far. But I just feel more and more confused, lost and unsure.

 

Please just help me understand.

 

I see the main problem is loneliness. Especially, the greatest problem is fighting the problem. In love with someone but not able to approach her because of the age difference. It would be the worse situation. You are not able to approach her is the primary. That said, it would make the difference in age secondary. Perhaps, it should be stated the other way around.

 

There is a philosophy in Taoism called Wu Wei, do nothing to cause any harm. To apply it personally, in other words, do nothing to cause any harm to myself. For example, if something that is impossible to be accomplished, then don't even try or think about it at all. As a result, Wu Wei will put you in a neutral state. Peace will be in your heart and your mind will come to ease.

 

May Tao manifest upon you!

[3bob]

On the question of gurus:

 

Imo an advanced to True Guru would already know one is getting close and looking for direct contact and then they would make the choice of whether or not to start something up directly with that person as a student,... until then one more or less has to go through the process and limitations of more indirect and or generic forms of exposure and teachings since they would probably still be at the point of checking things out from their own side. (so to speak) The older and or traditional sectarian ways have many proven guru-protocols that are not normally broken unless there is an over-riding need or an emergency situation. Often in the so called "west" we do not want to go through certain protocols or steps as a student and thus may try to jump right in and end up being ignored, on the other hand and again in the cases of over-riding need or emergencies it would be very hard to understand not seeing a master jumping right in to help someone beyond such protocols! (this has happened to me several times, so I know it is a possibility) As far as getting kicked out of a school (after being accepted) such should not be possible if certain pre-discussed and agreed upon rules related to spiritual laws were not broken, for a True Guru will not do such kicking using egotistic and personality based ways, and if they did then I'd run not walk. That probably doesn't help you much in understanding the story given about Ram Dass and I can't say I know anything about that guru or the story. (one would have had to have seen such first hand to make a judgment for themselves)

[Spotless]

It might be helpful if you let us know where you are - you may have resources that are quite close to you.

 

Also - many awakened teachers are now emerging here in the USA and all over the place.

 

Many teachings are available online live.

 

TheLearner's suggestion was very good - contrary to a whole bunch of inner reservations - joining groups offers many opportunities for growth and he stated it very well when he said " don't look for perfect look for good" (or something very close to that).

Edited June 17, 2014 by Spotless

[Seeker of Wisdom]

OK, so this Mahari-Ji guy, Ram Das's teacher in India, is said, by Ram Das, to have thrown people out who went looking for him and found him.

And how many had the guts, determination and patience to say 'no, I came all this way, you will teach me!' and refuse to go?

 

That sort of test has been common for ages. People respect Milarepa's determination to get teachings, but who can emulate him? I doubt I could to be honest.

 

The other thing I want to understand is why in the hell India? It's like the soil over there in the India/Tibet area grows spiritually enlightened beings or something.

In the East the useful techniques have been more available than in the West, where the exoteric forms of the Abrahamic religions are fairly useless and dominant. Someone practising yoga in India would get respect while someone practising magick in England would get executed for heresy.

 

It's just unlucky that the West has been dominated by unhelpful dogma while the East was developing effective practices for realisation. An anthropologist would probably be able to explain why.

 

...they all say, It's all right here! Yup...I just have to figure it all out by myself. Nobody to talk to. No advice, direction, guidance. Nothing. I have no idea how to access these answers I supposedly already have.

Well, we're all here for you... I don't have a teacher myself, and right now that's OK. Unless you want to devote yourself to a specific tradition, you can manage with the advice of fellow cultivators and the information publicly available.

 

Your desperation is good. It's what drove every great practitioner, the refusal to stop until every bond is cut and the light has burned away even itself.

 

If you want to find out directly, as we all do, all you need to do is work on these universal things: virtue, samadhi and insight. Just get walking and see yourself unfold. If you try to figure this all out you'll just frustrate yourself - I've been there! Instead just practice, avoid making any assumptions, see what you find.

[DreamBliss]

May you put your core issue in five sentences, pleeease, if you can?

 

 

May my long-winded, twisting, winding words teach you patience Padawan!

 

Let's see...

1. I am offended that a guru would throw seekers out. I think it likely that I would suffer the same fate, were I to find a guru.

2. I am lonely. In a physical sense I have nobody to share my life with, no friends, nowhere I fit.

3. I am hurting. Being around this beautiful young woman, feeling electrified, yet having this inner knowing that she is not for me.

4. I am lost and confused, with no clear dream or purpose. Tired of having to figure crap out on my own.

5. I am asking for help to understand. Some way to be at peace with all I am feeling and going through.

[DreamBliss]

To Everyone Else

 

Thank you for your advice and suggestions!

 

I think maybe I get one possible reason a guru might throw someone out.

 

To answer one poster's question, I am in Camas, WA.

 

To reply to another poster, I appreciate you taking the time to reply, and I respect your advice. But I am a former Christian. I find church to be restrictive, sufficating. There is a reason I left my Christian faith - several in fact. All their social functions just don't work for me. That said I am still active in my parent's church. Going to potlucks and helping the librarian build up their library. But I seriously need to find people who I can talk to about these sorts of things, and Christians are not it, because much of it challenges or flies in the face of their beliefs.

 

I feel that a person is entitled to whatever they believe, that is their path, and I have enough of trying to save people to last a few hundred life times. It is not for me to save anyone. I am to be a sign on the road, a finger pointing to the moon. I am to be there to support them should they want to change or leave their faith as I did. But part of loving and accepting someone as they are is to let them be as they are, whatever they believe. That is the truth for them at this moment. I am ready to expand the minds of those willing, and more than likely only those willing to change would even hear me.

 

Finally to the poster's comments about time... Do you see animals wearing wrist watches? Do you see them watching the clock or the setting of the sun? In the world time does not exist. Things happens, the sun rises and sets, the moon has its cycles, the seasons change, but this is not proof of time. Just of things happening. Man has assigned meaning to these events. The day based on the rotation of the earth. The year based on the journey of the earth around the sun. It is all illusion, the only value in time is in man's perception of it. If mankind did not exist, there would be no time. Time exists only in the perception of man, because it is a creation of man, a value ascribed to certain happenings, nothing more. If you were raised as a baby in a featureless box with no change in environment of any kind and no mirror, you would grow up with no sense of age or time passing. You would simply perceiev yourself as changing and would want to know why. But time would not exist for you, and would remain non-existant until you stepped out of the box.

 

Let go of the illusions of reality and time. They only exist in human perception, and only because humans believe they exist. When you leave your phsyical body for the final time, to move on to whatever awaits you, tell me then if time exists. In fact, astral project and explore the astral planes and tell me time exists.

 

Good luck on your journey!

 

May the Source be with you all, and may you all be blessed!

Edited June 17, 2014 by DreamBliss

[Yascra]

 

May my long-winded, twisting, winding words teach you patience Padawan!

Hey, you asked me to help you understand, not to answer your questions

 

So, I think I'd start with sort it another way:

I am hurting.

Oh, well, that's bad, change that if you did already reflect sufficiently to recognize it.

I am lost and confused, with no clear dream or purpose.

That's a good reason to be hurting, for if you lack a perspective anyway, you don't need to care about how to improve anything .. for there is no positive or negative future/perspective.. and that means that you don't need to care about the fact that actions result in consequences, and bad actions, aka hurting, in bad consequences.

I am lonely. In a physical sense I have nobody to share my life with, no friends, nowhere I fit.

Who would like to be friends with someone who harms others and still keeps going that way???

4. Tired of having to figure crap out on my own.

Well, that's one of those results you get if you don't behave in a beneficial way. People don't want to be friends with you, so you have to do things on your own. Cause and effect

1. I am offended that a guru would throw seekers out. I think it likely that I would suffer the same fate, were I to find a guru.

Actually, a guru is not only just a friend, but a friend who is hopefully willing and able to do a LOT more for you than anybody else, namely help you to reach liberation and end your suffering.

Let me put it this way: Why should a guru not throw a person out who can name the essential parts of the problem, but still not apply the wisdom on them to see that they might be connected?

5. I am asking for help to understand. Some way to be at peace with all I am feeling and going through.

Yes, and if someone offers you to help understand instead of just feeding the point I quoted first you call them a Padawan

 

Finally:

Being around this beautiful young woman, feeling electrified, yet having this inner knowing that she is not for me.

I really don't get what your sexual urges have to do with this whole thing, but maybe it's really not about finding a guru and spiritual liberation, but just having your desires fulfilled? Who knows ...

 

Btw... Still more than five sentences for every single point, and sometimes three different points mentioned, although just one number.

 

I propose you start that exercise again.

 

So, beginning with the cause, might you please name the essential points in five sentences

 

(No, are not forced to, don't worry And maybe better post them here after you've done that exercise in your private diary for a week or so. Btw, you are allowed to draw consequences from accidentally occuring conclusions ).

 

 

Good luck

Edited June 17, 2014 by Yascra

[GrandmasterP]

 

May my long-winded, twisting, winding words teach you patience Padawan!

 

Let's see...

1. I am offended that a guru would throw seekers out. I think it likely that I would suffer the same fate, were I to find a guru.

That hardly ever happens. gurus need paying customers same as anyone else in business does.

2. I am lonely. In a physical sense I have nobody to share my life with, no friends, nowhere I fit.

That's sad but far more common than you maybe imagine. Most people aren't as courageous as you in articulating loneliness. Change your week and your life by exploring new social opportunities such as a MA or TaiChi class. You'll meet new people many of whom will be like- minded.k

3. I am hurting. Being around this beautiful young woman, feeling electrified, yet having this inner knowing that she is not for me.

You got that right. She isn't for you so let her go and move on. There is someone out there for everyone but you have to look. The journey of a thousand miles, etc...

4. I am lost and confused, with no clear dream or purpose. Tired of having to figure crap out on my own.

Find a group, get to know people, avoid 'complaining or explaining'. Show an interest in others and ask them questions . People really warm to folks who do that.

5. I am asking for help to understand. Some way to be at peace with all I am feeling and going through.

Peace is a tough call. Cultivation helps, Mindfulness ( see link in my sig) works for many, not for all. The sheer discipline of a regular daily cultivation of some sort goes a long way towards breaking old habits and formerly negative thought patterns.

That doesn't need to be anything complicated either.

Five minutes Mindfulness in a morning and/ or maybe begin to cultivate a simple ( but very powerful) QiGong form.

Baduanjin 8 Pieces Brocade ( pics in that other link in my sig and more online on youtube) is super easy to learn and you'll begin to feel the good effects from Day 1.

Just make time every day for some cultivation different to anything you have tried before and keep at it.

I guarantee that if you do that within a week you'll begin to feel more positive and after a month you'll be becoming transformed.

Warmest best regards to you for every success.

Edited June 17, 2014 by GrandmasterP

[Brian]

My dog doesn't build houses but he knows he wants to be inside when it rains.

 

 

Do you also believe animals are spatially unaware or is their dimensional disability only temporal?

[idiot_stimpy]

Let go of the illusions of reality and time. They only exist in human perception,

 

So you say to let go of the illusion of reality and time, as they are only a human perception.

 

Can you see that you being lonely, hurting, lost, confused and tired of having to figure crap is also just a human perception.

[manitou]

Maybe the Guru throws people out who seek him because they are still looking for 'attainment', a function of the ego, by finding him. Perhaps he knows that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. He can 'read' the configuration in others because he has the eyes to do so - and can see when one is ready for the teachings at his level. That's when he shows up with his blanket.

 

Don Juan Mateus did the same to Castaneda - Mateus read Carlos' inner configuration and saw him as a shaman-in-the-making.

Edited June 17, 2014 by manitou

[Seeker of Wisdom]

...Finally to the poster's comments about time... Do you see animals wearing wrist watches? Do you see them watching the clock or the setting of the sun? In the world time does not exist. Things happens, the sun rises and sets, the moon has its cycles, the seasons change, but this is not proof of time. Just of things happening. Man has assigned meaning to these events. The day based on the rotation of the earth. The year based on the journey of the earth around the sun. It is all illusion, the only value in time is in man's perception of it. If mankind did not exist, there would be no time. Time exists only in the perception of man, because it is a creation of man, a value ascribed to certain happenings, nothing more...

I see where you're coming from, but just because time is an abstract concept and human ways of measuring it are arbitrary, doesn't mean it's illusory.

 

The seasons do follow a predictable pattern, it is reasonable to say 'winter begins in X months' and plan ahead.

 

Animals do have a sense of time. They would not be able to survive long if they didn't monitor natural cycles to determine when their prey/predators will be most active, when they will need to prepare to migrate or hibernate, etc.

 

A bear notices when the weather starts to change and knows to binge on salmon to survive the coming hibernation. There is some understanding of time, of what is coming up and what needs to be done.

 

Dogs often know the routines of their owners, they wait at the door when they know their owner will be back soon. That involves a sense of time based on circadian rhythms, light intensity and temperature.

[Spotless]

To Everyone Else

 

Thank you for your advice and suggestions!

 

I think maybe I get one possible reason a guru might throw someone out.

 

To answer one poster's question, I am in Camas, WA.

 

To reply to another poster, I appreciate you taking the time to reply, and I respect your advice. But I am a former Christian. I find church to be restrictive, sufficating. There is a reason I left my Christian faith - several in fact. All their social functions just don't work for me. That said I am still active in my parent's church. Going to potlucks and helping the librarian build up their library. But I seriously need to find people who I can talk to about these sorts of things, and Christians are not it, because much of it challenges or flies in the face of their beliefs.

 

I feel that a person is entitled to whatever they believe, that is their path, and I have enough of trying to save people to last a few hundred life times. It is not for me to save anyone. I am to be a sign on the road, a finger pointing to the moon. I am to be there to support them should they want to change or leave their faith as I did. But part of loving and accepting someone as they are is to let them be as they are, whatever they believe. That is the truth for them at this moment. I am ready to expand the minds of those willing, and more than likely only those willing to change would even hear me.

 

Finally to the poster's comments about time... Do you see animals wearing wrist watches? Do you see them watching the clock or the setting of the sun? In the world time does not exist. Things happens, the sun rises and sets, the moon has its cycles, the seasons change, but this is not proof of time. Just of things happening. Man has assigned meaning to these events. The day based on the rotation of the earth. The year based on the journey of the earth around the sun. It is all illusion, the only value in time is in man's perception of it. If mankind did not exist, there would be no time. Time exists only in the perception of man, because it is a creation of man, a value ascribed to certain happenings, nothing more. If you were raised as a baby in a featureless box with no change in environment of any kind and no mirror, you would grow up with no sense of age or time passing. You would simply perceiev yourself as changing and would want to know why. But time would not exist for you, and would remain non-existant until you stepped out of the box.

 

Let go of the illusions of reality and time. They only exist in human perception, and only because humans believe they exist. When you leave your phsyical body for the final time, to move on to whatever awaits you, tell me then if time exists. In fact, astral project and explore the astral planes and tell me time exists.

 

Good luck on your journey!

 

May the Source be with you all, and may you all be blessed!

You are doing well and what you have formulated regarding time is well written - do you believe it?

Some of the points are arguable but the general dissatisfaction with our fixation with Time is part of looking at this stuff.

Most angst is a cross reference between where we think we are and where we should be or desire to be in time.

Qi Gong practice will pop you into the now on a daily basis and being brought back to the now regularly can become a habit that will remove angst and a whole lot more. Yoga does this as well and practically every town in the USA has a yoga instructor.

Edited June 17, 2014 by Spotless